“OK,” I said, “you can come in, but I think it’s better if you go get dressed and I get dressed, too. Then we can have breakfast.”
“Sure, Dad. I bet I’ll get dressed faster than you!”
“Bet is on,” I called back and got out of bed.
There was an incredible power in the idea of doing something to beat the clock, or beating someone else in speed, when it came to children. Counting to ten still worked too.
I quickly had breakfast with Shaun, then woke Monica and headed to set. Today there were no stunts for me to coordinate, but I was going to do work from a room in the factory that I had converted into an office. And I wanted to keep an eye on the production. While this was a director I knew well, experience told me that too free reigns led to delays and artistic outburst that cost millions. Literally.
As I arrived on set, I saw Pat getting ready for her first scene of the day and waved at her and winked. She gave me a big smile.
Then I headed for my office.
Five hours later the smile on my lips had faded — it looked like Netflix was no longer interested in Speed Bumps. I’d have to find another network. Amazon would be my first call. Then HBO. Damn! Apparently, Netflix had just bought another show and we were late. Too late. It had a similar theme — badass female detective. They couldn’t afford two such shows and as the other show’s pilot was already done and dusted, they decided to go for that instead of waiting and risking losing that show.
As I walked out my office to grab a coffee from the catering table, I saw Pat standing there, staring at her phone with a vacant expression on her face. As if she wasn’t really in the room.
“Pat?” I asked, touching her arm. I wanted to embrace her, but the look in her eye told me she wasn’t really present. Had something happened on set?
“Oh, Jeff, hi,” she said with a small smile that vanished as soon as it appeared.
“Has something happened? Was there a problem on set? Did anyone upset you?”
“No, no, not at all. The filming went well. It was fun.” Another brief smile and a squeeze of my arm. “No, it’s Bill. He texted me the other day after weeks of him not saying anything. Seems like it finally hit him I wasn’t coming back, so he went to L.A. to look for me. I told him I was in Hawaii and to leave me alone. I just got another text saying he’s in Maui now. He must have tracked me down somehow.”
“I’m sorry, Pat, I guess he wants to fight for you after all,” my forehead creased as I spoke. I didn’t want to lose Pat. Not when I’d just found her.
“I don’t want him to fight for me. I want him to go away.”
“You can always get a restraining order if he becomes a nuisance. Listen, I’ll tell the security we have for the show to stay with you 24/7. Put a man on you. I didn’t think it was necessary for this production as we aren’t working with any stars, I’ve just had them guard the set, but let’s get you a bodyguard.”
Pat frowned.
“Do you really think that’s necessary? I mean, it’s Bill.”
“I’ve seen men do strange things when love doesn’t go their way,” I replied. “I’ve also seen fans do incredibly weird things. You told him to stay away, he didn’t. He’s not respecting your wishes. You’re better safe than sorry.”
Pat nodded. She looked relieved. I didn’t think she was scared of Bill and truth be told, I wasn’t really either, but even harmless men can be a nuisance when their love life doesn’t go as intended.
Then Pat did a double take as she looked at me.
“You don’t look too happy yourself,” she said. “It’s not about last night, is it?”
“No, no of course not. It was great.” I smiled and stepped in to embrace her. Then I held her away from me so I could look her in the eye. “No, it’s Netflix. They pulled out. I mean there was no deal, only negotiations. But they found another, similar show, that was ready to go. They may be interested in a year from now, but I want this off the ground in the next six months. Of course, there’s no guarantee it will get sold to any network. It’s a gamble. It depends on what they’re looking for right now.”
Pat looked even more sad.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been enjoying myself.”
“I know,” I nodded. “Me, too. I’m sure we’ll find a network. Otherwise, there will be plenty of other parts for you in the future.”
“But not like Victoria. There aren’t that many badass characters for women in their forties, you know.”
I knew. I couldn’t lie about that.
“If this doesn’t work out, we’ll come up with the concept for another one,” I promised.
Pat looked uncertain.
“I guess I’ve just gotten attached to the character. I feel like she’s helped me become more liberated. Take risks. Live as I want. Maybe because I was at a turning point.”
“You are a kickass woman, there’s no doubt about that. And you’ll keep being one, with or without Victoria.”
Pat smiled, but I could see she still felt some doubt. This role was her big chance. We both knew it — she was as if made for it, but I couldn’t promise anyone would buy the show. Life in Hollywood was unstable at best, a tornado at worst.
Chapter 10
Pat
“Damn it all,” I said as I came home after a long day on set — it was ten o’clock as I entered my hotel room, more than a little ready for bed.
I didn’t usually mind the late hours as I loved the work, but tonight I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. My life had looked bright only twenty-four hours earlier. I was happier than I’d been in years after making love with Jeff. And he didn’t look unhappy either!
I sighed as I sat down on my bed — I was too tired to even think about brushing my teeth. I just wanted to get out of my clothes and under the duvet. I wanted to hide.
I knew that if Bill showed up, I couldn’t handle a romance with Jeff. Not until things were settled with Bill and he left.
I wanted to tell Jeff everything was fine, but tonight I didn’t feel fine. Who was I? A forty-something pursuing the career meant for a twenty-something. Making it in Hollywood. As if. I felt like I’d been on an empowerment trip ever since I broke up with Bill, but now I felt like the old Pat just wanted give up and settle.
Only next month I would be in an indie film with a new crew at a new location. I had no idea if the people would be nice. I had no idea if the film would turn out well. I’d probably be working from dawn to midnight as the budget was limited. Would I even be able to handle that? Meryl Streep could, but she’d been in the business since forever. And no doubt she set the rules. She was a star. I was a nobody.
Frustrated, I threw my clothes off and crawled under the duvet, pulling it over my head. I didn’t want to face anyone. The thought of even showing up on set the next morning made me feel puking.
Hollywood was for the young, just like Bill had been a man who craved the young.
Angrily, I pulled the duvet closer. Then, exhausted, I fell asleep.
***
The next morning, I thankfully felt better. I showered, got dressed and ran to catch the bus that took us all to set.
The laughter and chatter that filled the bus as we made our way to set further relaxed me. Maybe life wasn’t so bad after all? Maybe I could handle acting? But Bill… my smile faded. I knew I’d have to meet him and speak with him. And I knew I couldn’t handle romance right now. I’d have to tell Jeff to wait. I needed to stabilize my acting career first. That alone was enough to handle without the added emotional rollercoaster of dating.
As I got to set, make-up and wardrobe took care of me and then it was time to act. I’d learned all my lines by heart even before leaving L.A. and thankfully there’d been no major rewrites since we got to Maui. That made it easier for me as I didn’t have to fear messing up lines. I was already frightened what it would be like with the indie.
Thankfully the scenes that day went alright and I started relaxing more and more. I knew I’
d have to speak to Jeff about putting things on hold, but at least I could enjoy the acting, even if I now knew I would have to say goodbye to Victoria unless another network picked up the show. It made me sad.
In the afternoon I had no scenes but decided to sit down and watch a stunt. It was indoors; green screen. It was a burglary scene where the burglars were chased by the police and jumped between two rooftops, and then fought with the police.
To my surprise, I saw that Jeff was doing one of the stunts. For the most part he just directed the stunt scenes, working as the coordinator.
As the filming started, I couldn’t help but be taken by how masculine Jeff was. Against my own will, I smiled. As he was fighting a staged fight with two men, his muscles bulged with every movement. He looked fabulous in his element. Calm, collected and masculine. Very masculine.
I could see other women looking at him, too. A twinge of jealousy hit me. What if I told Jeff to wait and he found someone else? Still, I couldn’t gamble our friendship. I needed peace. Needed to think. Needed to get Bill to calm down. Needed to find my feet acting wise and that could take a while. I just felt like my whole world was spinning and Jeff made it spin more.
I decided not to think about it anymore. In here I was safe. There was no Bill. No relationship. No unstable career. Just a scene being filmed.
I watched as Jeff climbed “a rooftop”. God, the man was strong! I felt my body tingle as I watched him. Only the other day I had felt his body against mine. Felt those muscles underneath my hands. I knew what that body could do in an entirely different position. Knew what his hands could do as they traveled all across my body…
Suddenly I felt hot. Very hot.
I was relieved when the director announced they had what they needed and it was a wrap for the day.
Jeff walked up to me.
“Hello, beautiful, how are you? I wanted to see you at lunch, but I got caught up in a phone conference. Then another and another. Some of my projects needed some attention. Good filming today?”
I nodded. How was I ever going to tell this man I didn’t want to be with him? Because I did. Badly.
“You looked hot up there,” I said with a wink. Then I added: “Can we talk? I need to eat, I’m guessing you do, too? I mean, let’s go eat!”
Jeff frowned. I could only guess what he thought “can we talk” meant.
“Sure. I have some more work, but I can do that after dinner. Where do you want to go?”
“The hotel,” I replied. For once I wasn’t up for a culinary adventure. The seafood the other night had been divine. Right now, I just wanted to be close to my bed though.
Jeff changed, we got our things and Jeff told the bodyguards he’d be with me and they could meet me at the hotel room in an hour or so. He had one stationed outside my room at all times and following me when I wasn’t on set. All this did make me feel safe.
Jeff drove me back in his rental car. It was a convertible. I relaxed and let the wind play with my hair as the sun set over the ocean. There was no reason I couldn’t enjoy this luxury at least!
“What did you want to talk about?” Jeff asked.
I sighed. Clearly, I couldn’t enjoy that luxury after all.
“Listen, I had one of the best nights of my life with you. It was great. Wonderful. Out of this world. And I like you. Really like you, but because of that, I want to wait. Bill needs to settle down. I’m unraveling over fifteen years of marriage. I need that to, well, settle. And I don’t know where my acting career is going. Everything’s up in the air. I just need to…breathe.”
“Hey, it’s OK. We said we’d take it slow. It’s intense now because we see each other every day. Here, let me stop the car.”
He drove off into a small road that led, seemingly, into the middle of nowhere. After a few meters he pulled over and stopped underneath some palm trees. The night was eerily quiet out here, save from the sound of cicadas.
Jeff turned to me.
“As I said, things are intense now. When we get back to L.A. in a bit over a week, things will slow down. We won’t see each other every day. You’ll have time for soul searching. If the new film you’re doing is on location somewhere, I’ll just come visit once a week. Your schedule is probably insane, but you’ll have time, Pat, I promise.”
The sun had now set and I could just about make out Jeff’s features, but I could still see the intensity in his eyes — he meant every word.
At that moment I didn’t feel like fighting. I didn’t have the strength. I was tired and maybe Jeff was right. Everything felt like a mess where I didn’t know up from down. Soon I’d travel, I’d be somewhere else, so yes, maybe Jeff was right. Maybe I was overreacting.
“OK,” I said.
“OK? Just like that?”
“Yeah. I’m too tired, Jeff. I don’t know. Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not. I just don’t know.”
Jeff smiled.
“But I do know. We’re right for each other, Pat. I can feel it.”
And then he leaned over and kissed me. Gently. Carefully.
It made me melt. Feeling him care for me like that. And it made me want him. Badly.
The gentle kiss soon turned demanding, because I made it demanding. I could feel the heat growing between us. His hands unfastened our seatbelt and then he pushed his seat back and motioned for me to climb over to his lap.
I straddled him. I could feel how hard he was. I was just wearing a skirt, that was now hiked up over my hips and he was wearing thin shorts.
“I really want you, Pat, but are you sure you’re OK about this?” He asked.
“I’m sure,” I replied. Then I let my tongue travel down from his mouth to his neck and ears. He tasted of salt and that undefinable taste that was just him. Jeff.
“Have you ever done it in a car?” He asked.
“Not a convertible with the top off,” I said.
“Wanna do it?”
As a reply, I tugged his t-shirt over his head. Then I let my hands travel over his ripped body. His muscles were reacting to my touch and he squirmed from desire.
His hands traveled to between my legs. Stroking. Gentle, circular movements. Teasing. Then harder. I rubbed myself against him. I felt like I could never get enough of his touch. I needed this, needed him.
“Oh, Jeff,” I mumbled.
In response, he unbuttoned his shorts, then moved my panties to the side so he could enter. He was so hard for me. And it turned me on badly.
As I rode him he moaned, his hands traveling up underneath my shirt, cupping my breasts, his mouth against mine.
I had never been kissed with such untamed desire. I felt like his lips were tearing me apart, at the same time as my insides were coming apart for him; opening up to his hardness.
Waves of passion shook my body. I was getting closer and closer to climax and I could feel Jeff was as well.
“I’m gonna come for you so hard now Pat,,” he panted.
“Yes, yes, come for me,” I cried and then we both came underneath the starry sky, bodies trembling from lust and passion.
Chapter 11
Jeff
After another epic lovemaking session with Pat, I slept like a baby till the alarm went off. I’d forgotten all about work after we’d had sex — instead we’d eaten (seemed like a pattern) and gone our separate ways.
I didn’t feel as happy as last time though. I was worried what Bill would do and Pat’s insecurities surrounding the acting. I needed her to calm down, but how?
I practically hit the ground running and left for set after a quick shower — Shaun and Monica were both still sleeping. Well back at the factory, or our mini-studio as I liked to call it, I set to work in the office. The pile of paperwork was a mile high (metaphorically speaking as it was all electronic).
Once lunch rolled around, I got up to join the actors and the crew. I assumed they’d take a break around then and if not, I’d eat watching a scene. I wanted to see Pat.
As I came out th
e door, I heard a commotion.
“You have no right to be here,” said a voice that I recognized as my head of security, Ken.
“I have every right to be here, that’s my wife. It’s a legal thing, you know.” I also recognized that voice, unfortunately. It was Bill. How the hell had he gotten through the gates? He must have been spying on Pat. Or more likely: got lucky and saw her somewhere. If he’d been spying on her for long, the bodyguards would have spotted him.
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