by Dylann Crush
For a moment, I let myself imagine how it would feel to trace those lines with my fingers…with my tongue.
I shook any adult-rated thoughts from my brain. “We got stuck in the mud.”
“I warned you about that spot at the end of the drive, didn’t I?” He grinned.
“Yep, you sure did. And I managed to hit it anyway. Now, do you happen to have some ice we can put on Liam’s head and something we can use to dig ourselves out?”
He came down the steps barefoot, his shirt in his hand. Something about the man looking like he’d just rolled out of bed made my insides twist and turn.
“I bet I’ve got something in the garage. Mom’s gone to bed, but why don’t you run in and grab a baggie of ice then I can give y’all a ride back to the truck.” He yanked his shirt on over his head.
“That would be great.” Liam followed Dustin to the garage while I went into the house to get some ice.
I caught up to them a few minutes later in the garage just as the two of them disappeared behind an ATV. I hadn’t bothered to look around much when I’d been out here the other day, so I took the opportunity to see what kind of stuff Dustin felt was important enough to hang onto after all the years he’d been away.
Motorcycles in various stages of completion lined the perimeter. A huge workbench took up the entire back wall. The smell of grease, oil, and exhaust lingered. I wondered how long he’d had this set up and if he’d always been into bikes.
“Let’s go.” Dustin returned, his feet encased in tall rubber boots, carrying a few long pieces of wood and a shovel. He handed them off to Liam before grabbing a coil of rope from the edge of a table.
We followed him out to his truck where he tossed the rope in the back and gestured to Liam to do the same with the stuff he carried.
“Want to squeeze in tight or do one of you want to climb in the back?” he asked.
“I can climb in back,” Liam offered.
“We’ll squeeze in the cab.” I gave my son a look that told him not to argue with me before opening the passenger door. Bucket seats. Wonderful. I scooted as close to the center console as I could. “Come on, Liam. Get in here.”
Liam grumbled but climbed in behind me. I pressed the bag of ice to his forehead. “Why can’t I sit in the back? We’re just going down the driveway.”
Dustin closed the door behind us before walking around to the driver’s side. “We’ll make this as quick and painless as possible, okay?”
As soon as we reached the truck, Liam sprang from the passenger seat.
Dustin walked halfway around the lodged vehicle, deep in thought. “I think our best bet is to wedge the board underneath the tires and see if I can pull you out. Liam, you want to help me with that?”
“Sure.” He grabbed a board from the back of Dustin’s truck and followed him around to the other side.
While they debated the best angle to put the board, I leaned against Dustin’s truck to wait. A huge glob of mud sat on the ground in front of me. I reached out and picked up a handful. It was smooth, the consistency of the mud packs I paid big bucks for online. I spread some over my arm, wondering if it might possess any type of healing benefits.
Some sort of disturbance in the strand of trees on the other side of the drive caught my eye. Leaves rustled, a chirp carried across the road. I waited, wondering what could possibly be causing such a ruckus.
“Hey, you guys hear that?” I asked.
Dustin and Liam continued to volley ideas back and forth, ignoring me. With nothing but time on my hands, I decided to investigate. I crept across the gravel road, making sure to avoid the bigger puddles. Reaching the line of trees and bushes on the other side, I paused. About ten feet ahead, the leaves parted. A beak appeared. A large beak, about four feet off the ground.
“Um, Dustin?” I called.
No response.
I parted the limbs and peered into the tangle of bushes and trees. A ball of feathers burst through a break in the trees ahead. Was it really an ostrich? It had been a long time since I’d seen one in person. Probably not since I was a kid and my parents had taken me to the San Diego Zoo. I held my breath, waiting to see what it would do. Once clear of the trees, it paused, cocking its head toward the noise coming from the truck.
Then it turned and ran back into the brush. I followed, just in time to see it run headfirst into the trunk of a huge oak. The giant bird fell backward and landed on the wet grass with a thud.
I waited for it to get up, but it didn’t. Looked like it had knocked itself out.
“Um, guys?” I yelled a little louder. This didn’t appear to be something I could handle on my own.
When neither one of them responded, I inched closer to the animal. I got about three feet away when it lifted its head and scrambled to its feet. With a squawk and a furious flapping of wings, it ran through a break in the bushes.
I stood there for a long moment, long enough for my heartbeat to stop thundering through my chest. This is why I avoided sugar. It could mess with me in the weirdest ways.
Fairly sure I’d hallucinated the entire event, I picked my way through the overgrown brush back to the driveway. I was about to ask if they’d seen an ostrich run by, but my words died on my tongue.
Liam sat behind the wheel of Robbie’s truck while Dustin tried to pull it out of the mud. The wheels spun round and round as Liam pressed on the gas. Slowly, the truck edged out of the rut. As far as I knew Liam had never been behind the wheel of a vehicle before. I rushed over, hoping Dustin had shown him how to work both the gas and the brakes.
“What are you doing?” My hands grasped the window frame as Liam eased the truck to a stop.
“You weren’t here, so Dustin let me drive out of the ditch.”
“I see that.” And I wasn’t happy about it. My shoulders tensed. “Why don’t you get out of the truck now?”
Liam’s forehead creased. “But, Mom, I did it. Did you see me driving? Dustin says maybe he can take me out sometime—”
“Get out of the truck, Liam. Now.” I jerked on the door handle.
Liam climbed down just as Dustin walked over.
“Good job.” He held out a hand to Liam who shot me a glance full of disappointment. “What did I miss?” Dustin asked, clapping Liam on the shoulder instead. “You did a great job there. You should be proud of him.” He nudged his chin toward the truck. “You were really stuck.”
“Liam, get in the truck, please.”
“But, Mom.”
“Now.” I didn’t use my serious mom tone all that often, but when I did Liam knew better than to argue.
He disappeared around the truck and climbed in.
“What’s going on?” Dustin asked.
“He’s thirteen years old. You had no business putting him behind the wheel. He could have hit your truck.”
“But he didn’t. He’s a smart kid, Harmony. I showed him the gas and the brake. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to get a truck out of a ditch.”
“No, but you don’t have to encourage him to get behind the wheel either.” My stomach hitched itself into a hundred knots. “He’s just a kid.”
“No, he’s a young man who wants a little freedom from his overprotective mom, if you ask me.” Dustin placed a palm on the hood of the truck and leaned closer. “What do you think is going to happen? You either give him a little bit of freedom, encourage him to grow in positive ways, or he’s going to—”
“You don’t know anything about raising a kid. He’s all I’ve got. It’s my job to keep him safe, to protect him, to—”
“To smother him so he turns away?” He moved closer, invading my personal bubble of space. “I don’t know anything about raising a son, but I do know about being a kid who’s lost, who went searching for something to help me feel alive again. And I found it, too. Trust me, you want him to find something positive, not the kind of crap I turned to when the pain got too much to bear.”
He turned away, but not before I saw
the agony in his eyes. I wanted to pull him to me and hug away all the hurt he must have felt after Jeffy died. Instead, I stood there, absorbing the pain he’d left between us, letting the anger and frustration he must have felt as a teen wash over me.
Dustin walked to the front of the truck and bent to unhook the tow rope. I wanted to say something. Something that would ease away the years of hurt. But in that moment, I couldn’t find the words. So I climbed into Robbie’s truck and turned the key in the ignition.
As we pulled away, Dustin lifted his head. I gave a little wave of thanks then put both hands on the wheel to navigate around the curve that landed us in the mud in the first place.
He’d be by tomorrow with the damn skunk. Hopefully, by then I’d come up with something to say.
20
Dustin
At seven-fifteen the next morning I pulled into Harmony’s drive. It had been years since I’d been to the Jordans’ house. When I said I’d run Petunia over to her I didn’t think about the fact I’d have to come face to face with a two-thousand square foot reminder of my past.
“Better get it over with.” I wrapped my hand around the handle of the cage. Poor Petunia could barely turn around inside, but it was better than letting her have free reign of the cab of my truck. “We’ll get you settled and find a place where you’ll have some room to move around.”
Harmony met me at the door. “About last night—”
“No big deal.” I set the cage on the ground. “You want to keep this in case you need to take her somewhere? Or do you have something else you can use?”
She opened the door wide so I could step inside. I paused, glancing past her, my gaze running over the living room I’d spent so much time in as a kid. Memories flooded my mind. Jeffy and me fighting over the remote, Mrs. Jordan pulling a pan full of fresh-baked cookies out of the oven. My heart thundered in my chest, the sound so loud I was sure Harmony could hear it.
“Do you want to come in?” she asked.
“No.” The urge to leave, to run as far and as fast as I could, took over. That’s what I would have done if I were still a kid. But I wasn’t so I tried to gain control of my feelings. I took a deep inhale, recognizing the familiar scent of the Jordans’ living room—a mixture of lemon Pledge and Windex. “I’ve got to get my mom to the doctor. Thanks for taking care of Petunia.”
She smiled, a crooked grin that lifted one side of her mouth. “Want to see the raccoons before you go?”
“You let them in the house?”
“No way. They’re in the garage. Want to peek real quick?”
“Sure.”
She led the way to the side door of the garage. I’d probably spent just as much time in the Jordans’ two-car attached garage as I had in my own. As we entered, I couldn’t help but think of all the good times we’d had. Regret filled my heart, and something that sounded like a strangled sigh wrenched its way out.
“Are you okay?” Harmony turned to me, her concern evident in the creases lining her forehead.
“Yeah.” I took in a deep breath, filling my lungs. “It’s just…I haven’t been back since…”
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. How insensitive of me.” She grabbed my arm, whirling me around and leading me away from the garage. “I had no idea.”
My hand went to my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry, but it felt like the weight of the world had just slammed into my chest and left a hole the size of a monster truck. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t even think.” She pulled me in for a hug, her arms wrapping around my middle, clutching me to her.
I let her. It felt good to have someone care. I lingered for a beat before breaking loose. “I’m fine, really.” I summoned my best “don’t give a shit” expression, the one I used to psych out my competitors when I used to ride the racing circuit.
“Oh, okay.” She backed away. I wanted to pull her close again, lose myself in her hair and let her erase the deep-seated ache that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.
“I’d better get back before Mom thinks I abandoned her.” I attempted a smile.
“Will I see you around later?” she asked.
“Maybe. I might bring Mom to the diner for lunch if we get back in time.”
“Sounds good.” She followed me to the truck. “Hey, Dustin?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for getting us out of the mud last night. What you said about Liam, I’m thinking about it, okay?”
“I didn’t mean to overstep.” That was kind of a lie. I didn’t mean to tell her how to raise her kid, but I also saw so much of myself in him, I felt an obligation to try to speak up. I knew what it was like to not be able to put my feelings into words at that age. Hell, I wasn’t any better at it all these years later, either.
“I know.” Her hand touched my arm. “He’s everything to me.” She looked up at me, her eyes welling with unshed tears. “It’s hard trying to be mom and dad to him.”
“I wish you’d tell me what happened to his dad,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
She ran a finger under her eye, wiping away any sign of tears. “He didn’t want to be part of our lives.” Her gaze met mine. “He wasn’t a good guy. It’s for the best.”
I tried but couldn’t get a read on exactly what she meant by that last comment. “Did he hurt you?” I asked, suddenly feeling more protective of Harmony and Liam than I had about anyone else in a long time.
“It was forever ago.” She managed a weak smile, one that didn’t make it to her eyes. “I sometimes forget, though, that Liam isn’t a little boy anymore.”
“Looks like he’ll always be a bit of a mama’s boy.”
She gave me a skeptical look. “Like you?”
I chuckled. “Hey, you grow up without a dad and you can’t help but be a little more protective of your mom.”
Harmony nodded. “Speaking of your mom, shouldn’t you get going?”
“Yeah. She’ll be pissed if I make her late for her appointment.” I climbed into the cab of the truck and leaned out the window. “He’s a good kid.”
She smiled. “Thanks. He is.”
I wanted to say more, to tell her that she was a good mom and that things between her and Liam would be just fine. Was that how it had worked out for me? I’d left my mom when she needed me most. I didn’t have anything left to give. Now that I was back, I had to figure out a way to make it up to her. Fit fifteen years of good deeds into a couple of short weeks. Before I left her again.
The doc pushed a piece of paper across the desk toward us. “You’re healthy as a horse, Mrs. Jarrett.”
“Then why does she keep getting dizzy?” I asked.
“We’ll keep an eye on things,” the doc said. “Start with taking it easy. Maybe take some time off work and let the kids help you more at home.”
“She will,” I promised.
The doc shook my hand before ushering us out of the office. Mom didn’t waste any time, just hustled out to the parking lot.
“Mom?” I caught up to her easily. “How long has this been going on?”
She kept her gaze ahead. “A few months. Don’t worry, I’ve got it all under control.”
“I don’t think it’s something you can control.” I beat her to the truck and held the door for her. “The doc said you need to make sure you’re not overdoing it.”
“Honey, you know me. I couldn’t sit still if I tried. When I start to feel lightheaded, I take a break. Otherwise I’d prefer not to dwell on it.”
Not to dwell? Damn, my mother could be stubborn as a mule sometimes. But even a mule would rest when it got tired. “I’m not trying to dwell on it. But you’ve got to take better care of yourself.”
“I do.” Mom pulled the door shut, essentially ending the conversation.
How much did Scarlett know about this? She’d been taking Mom to her appointments. Why hadn’t they told me? I rounded the front of the truck and climbed in.
�
��You need to stop anywhere on the way home?” I asked.
“No. It’s Tuesday. I need to get the wash done this afternoon. Frank comes for dinner on Tuesdays, and I promised pork chops with caramel apples tonight.”
“Frank can figure out how to feed himself. And I’ll do the wash.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Dustin.”
“Who do you think does my laundry when I’m not at home?” My housekeeper did, but Mom didn’t need to know that. I’d been on my own since I was seventeen. There was a time when I had to do everything for myself, and I hadn’t forgotten how.
Mom folded her hands over her stomach. “Frank was just widowed last year. I’m pretty sure the meal he eats with me is the only well-balanced meal he gets all week.”
“Then I’ll make dinner. Pork chops and what else?” I asked.
“Apples in caramel sauce. It’s his favorite.”
The way Mom held herself while we discussed Mr. Blevins made me wonder if there was more behind her fixing him dinner than her concern over him getting a well-balanced meal. I’d have to ask Scarlett about it later.
“Want to stop in at the diner for lunch on the way home?”
“You sure do seem eager to get me to the diner today.” Mom narrowed her eyes as she glanced over at me. “What exactly is going on with you and Harmony?”
“Nothing. Assuming the city lets her have the space, I’m going to help her build out the studio, and she’s going to make sure I get back in shape before…” I almost said before I lost the part on the movie my agent had pretty much guaranteed was mine.
“And?” Mom asked.
“And what? That’s all.” Brow furrowed, I turned to face her as I came to a stop at a red light.
“Hmm.” Mom looked out the window.
Hmm? That was it? Didn’t matter what Mom thought she knew about Harmony and me. Bottom line was we were exchanging services, bartering one specialty for another. That was all. It didn’t make a bit of difference that the sight of her kick started my heart. Or that being around her made me ache for something deep inside.