“Yeah,” Ladonna said, “but that was later. Time I was sixteen, I was mostly high on crack—the dude I was livin’ with got me hooked. Problem was, I was pregnant again.” Her smile faded. “You ever seen a crack baby?”
Tonya shook her head.
“It’s not a pretty sight. Fanetta was a mess, but you know what? I didn’t care. I was so outa control, I didn’t care nothin’ for her or nobody, my older kids included. Then she died.”
Tonya didn’t know what to say. She reached for Ladonna’s hand. For a moment, they were both silent. Tonya’s eyes filled with tears. The girl who passed them on the sidewalk was a red blur.
“She was so little.” Ladonna spoke in a faraway voice as if she could see her lost child. “Just three months old and nothin’ but a mess of bones.” She took a long breath. “When I buried that baby, I knew I had to change my life or me and my other babies would all be headin’ straight to hell.”
“And you did change.”
“Yeah. First thing, I kicked that brother who got me on crack out of the house, then I went to drug rehab. Wasn’t easy, but I quit using, got my GED and went to college on a special scholarship. And now here I am. I’m part of something good, helping other sisters have a better life than I did—keeping them away from drugs, teaching them about birth control, showing them they got something goin’ for them besides goin’ to bed with the first dude that walks by. Or if they’re already pregnant, helping them learn how to take care of themselves and their babies.
“And the best thing is, I got two great kids. Wanna see?” She pulled out her wallet and pointed to two pictures. “Danisha’s eighteen and Simon’s almost seventeen.”
“They’re beautiful,” Tonya said sincerely.
“Thanks. Here we are.” She slowed as they came to a small gray house. Or, Tonya thought, maybe it used to be white and had faded. A redbud tree in the front yard was trying to bloom without much success. A scrawny yellow dog trotted across the yard and wagged his tail. Tonya stopped to pet the friendly mutt and, as she looked up, noticed the motorcycle in the driveway. It was the same model as—
“Is that Kirk’s?”
“Sure looks like it,” Ladonna said. “I guess he’s checkin’ on Janene, too.”
Great! The last person Tonya wanted to see. She hadn’t passed her twenty-four-hour limit on grudges. She was still hopping mad at him, and she wasn’t very good at concealing her emotions. With a baleful look at the motorcycle, she followed Ladonna to the door. Ladonna knocked, and in a moment a thin woman with lank blond hair and tired eyes answered and invited them in. Ladonna introduced Tonya to Mary Lou North, Janene’s mother.
Kirk wasn’t in the living room.
Relieved, Tonya let out a breath and glanced around. The interior of the house looked as ill-kempt as the outside. Dust covered every surface, faded curtains sagged at the windows, one arm of the couch was marred by a cigarette burn. A pile of magazines lay on the floor in front of an armchair. A soap blared on the TV.
“Y’all come on in the kitchen,” Mary Lou said. The smell of something cooking on the stove met them as they entered.
At the kitchen table sat Kirk, his commanding presence dominating the small room.
Their eyes met.
She wouldn’t be daunted by that lethal stare. Tonya kept her eyes on his, her gaze never wavering. Around her, the room heated. Amazing how blistering a mere look could be.
Taking his time, Kirk rose to his feet. In another man, Tonya thought, that gesture might have been gentlemanly; in Kirk, it was arrogant. His gaze still locked with hers, he pulled out the chair next to him and indicated that she should sit.
She didn’t want to take that chair, but Ladonna and Mrs. North were already seated; it was the only place left. Tonya pulled the chair as far from Kirk as she could and sat.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said to her in a low voice.
There he goes again. “Why?” she murmured so only he could hear. “I was there yesterday. I wanted to see how Janene is getting along.” She turned to the girl’s mother. “How is she?”
Mrs. North shrugged. “Okay. She’s in her room. She was too scared to go to school today. She can’t hide forever, though. They’ll be sending one of those truant officers after her. Janene,” she called, “come out here.”
In a moment, the girl appeared. She stood in the doorway, barefoot, dressed in a man’s long-sleeved shirt. Tonya looked at her tear-streaked face and realized that in a few years Janene would look like her mother—blank-faced and exhausted.
Kirk got up and went to Janene. Taking her arm, he drew her gently to his chair. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay,” she said, staring at the floor.
“Janene,” Mrs. North said, “you go get Mr. Butler another chair outa the living room.”
“I’ll get it,” Kirk said.
“No, sir. Janene will do it. She needs to make herself useful around here ‘stead of just sittin’ around mooning over that punk Rick.”
Janene gave her mother a sullen look but went to get the chair. She dragged it to Tonya’s side. Kirk sat down. Now he was practically in Tonya’s lap. She gave him a sidelong glance and found his eyes on her. Quickly, she faced front again and tried unobtrusively to move as far from Kirk as she could without falling off the chair. Beside her, he shifted. His leg brushed hers and both she and Kirk jolted.
Forget he’s there. Easy to say but riot so simple to do when he sat so close she could sense his every breath. Annoyed and uncomfortable, she made an effort to concentrate on the conversation.
“I won’t be comin’ back to the center for those childbirth classes,” Janene said to Ladonna. “Rick doesn’t want me goin’ over there.”
“Honey,” Ladonna said, “you have to come back to the class. You need to know what to expect during pregnancy and how to take care of yourself. And if you’re going to keep this baby, you have to learn how to care for it.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’m gonna keep it. And Rick said—”
“Rick!” Mrs. North cried, grasping the edge of the table as if she might shove it over. “I told Janene if she got mixed up with that lowlife she’d be sorry for it.” Her voice rose and she pointed a bony finger at her daughter. “But did she listen? No, she had to go and get herself in trouble. Now she’s got a kid comin’ and Rick after her, and...” Mary Lou North began to cry. “I don’t know what we’re gonna do. Every night I go to bed scared to death. I hear those cars drivin’ past, and one night I know someone’s gonna shoot at us. We’ve been sleepin’ on the floor. I worry every day till Janene gets home from school, but what can I do? I can’t keep her locked up in the house.”
“Mary Lou.” Ladonna handed the sobbing woman a tissue and put an arm around her shaking shoulders. “Of course, Janene has to go to school. Can you drive her?”
Mary Lou shook her head slowly. “I have to leave here at six to get to my aide job at the hospital. I work the seven to three shift.”
“I can pick her up,” Tonya offered.
“No,” Kirk said.
She was about to insist, but beneath the table, he caught her wrist. Hoping she was being unobtrusive, she tried to tug her arm away. Useless.
“Janene needs more than a ride—she needs protection,” he said reasonably, and Tonya realized he was right. “I’ll pick her up.” He continued to hold on to Tonya as if he were a bulldog and her arm were a bone.
“Oh, we couldn’t put you to that kinda trouble.” Mary Lou seemed unaware of the byplay going on under the table.
“No problem.” Kirk’s voice was pleasant, calm. “I’ll drive her to school and the Center and take her home until this dies down or the police pick up Rick.” He turned to Janene and fixed the girl with a sternook. “Do you know where Rick is?”
“No.”
“Janene North—” her mother began.
“Mama, I told you and told you, I don’t know where he’d go.” Her cheeks flushed an
d she shot her mother an angry look. “Why don’t you ask one of the Sabers? They’re the only ones who’d know.”
“Don’t you go sassin’ me, young lady,” her mother warned.
Ladonna put an end to the argument by rising. “We need to get going. Mary Lou, if we can help you out with anything, you call. Janene, I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
Kirk and Tonya got up, too. He dropped her arm. Shooting him a pointed look, she rubbed it.
“I sure do thank you,” Mary Lou said, following them to the door.
As soon as it shut behind them, Kirk took Tonya’s arm again. “Let me go,” she muttered.
“After we talk.” He turned to Ladonna. “We’ll be right back.” He started across the yard, keeping Tonya firmly in tow.
“You don’t have to hold on to me,” she snapped. “I’m not going to run away.”
“Now, why don’t I believe you?” He let go of her wrist but took her elbow in a firm grasp and led her to his motorcycle.
“What?” Tonya raised her chin.
“Did you have any idea how dangerous it would be for you to pick up Janene?” he asked, his voice low and furious.
“I didn’t think about it,” she admitted, then took the offensive. “How about you? Did you think how little protection she’d get on a motorcycle?”
His lips thinned. “Of course. I’m going to use Ramon’s car.” He came a step closer. Across the yard Ladonna stared at them, a puzzled frown on her face. “Now, back to you. What would your foundation say if something happened to you?”
That hurt. “Are you worried they’d cut off the grant?”
“No, damn it,” he muttered, and she saw something flash in his eyes. Tenderness? Concern? It disappeared so quickly she couldn’t tell. “I’m worried about you.”
She wanted to ask him why, but she wasn’t sure she’d like his answer. Instead, she shook him off. “Don’t be. I can take care of myself.”
“Great. Fine.” With a snort of disgust, he mounted the motorcycle. As Tonya walked across the yard and joined Ladonna on the sidewalk, he sped away.
To Ladonna’s credit, she made no comments and asked no questions as she and Tonya walked back to the OK Center.
SWEAT POURED DOWN Kirk’s back and dripped from his face as he concentrated on the rowing machine. Beside him, Ramon’s muscles bunched as he worked his triceps with hand weights.
The gym was the best place Kirk knew to unwind. A place to leave the worries of the day behind and concentrate on pure physical activity. He liked taxing his muscles to the maximum, liked the camaraderie of male conversation.
He didn’t favor one of those fancy coed health clubs with piped-in music and state-of-the-art machines. The gym around the corner from his apartment was old and basic. A place for guys. It was open to both genders, of course, but few women frequented it, just a couple of female bodybuilders with bulging biceps.
This evening the patrons were all male, the conversation limited to three topics—business, sports and sex. Two guys down the way were discussing the upcoming baseball season as they pedaled side by side on stationary bicycles. On his other side, above the sound of treadmills, Kirk heard an argument about the stock market and a couple of dirty jokes.
When he had finished his usual workout, Kirk headed for the shower, then the sauna. He chose a bench and leaned back, enjoying the heat, the faint smell of cedar. He felt utterly relaxed.
Ramon followed him in and sat beside him. He let out a long sigh. “This is the life, amigo.”
“Nothing like a good workout to relax you, especially the way our week’s been going.”
Ramon yawned. “Things will calm down.”
“Yeah, when pigs fly.”
“Come on, buddy, we haven’t got it so bad. In fact, that grant’s put us on easy street.”
Kirk felt some of the tension return to his body. “I’d appreciate the damn grant a lot more if it came without strings.”
“So would I, but Tonya’s not hard to deal with. She’s settling in well.”
Kirk muttered an oath under his breath.
“You disagree?” Ramon grinned. “I’d, uh, gotten the impression you kinda liked her.”
Kirk straightened. He was definitely feeling tense now. “What gave you that idea?”
“The way you look at her.”
Kirk sighed and figured he might as well admit it. “Yeah, but I’d like her better if she didn’t hold our future in her hands.”
“That’s always the problem, isn’t it?” Ramon said, studying Kirk with penetrating brown eyes. “You don’t want a woman to have the upper hand. You’ve got to be in control in your relationships. No compromises.”
“Hey,” Kirk said, not liking this conversation at all, “I thought we were talking about the center, not my personal life.”
“We were, but if you get personal with Tonya, it’ll be the same thing.” Ramon sat up beside him. “Compromise. That’s the secret in personal relationships.”
“Your wife taught you that, huh?”
“Drummed it into my hard head. Damned good thing she did. You gotta learn it, too, amigo, if you want your relationships to go anywhere.”
“Thanks for the tip, but I don’t have a relationship with Tonya Brewster.” He chose to forget the way he’d kissed her the other night, the way he’d wanted to kiss her this morning. “I’m not looking for a long-term arrangement with anyone,” he said firmly.
“That’s clear. As soon as a relationship gets serious, you ease out of it You’re nice to them, you leave them happy, but you still leave.” Ramon hesitated a moment, then added, “You got burned once, but that was a long time ago.”
“Once burned, twice shy.”
“Crap,” Ramon said. “And that’s my last word on it.”
“AND HE TOLD ME AGAIN I don’t belong there,” Tonya was saying to Sam as they strolled through the elegant Galleria Shopping Center on Saturday afternoon
“Did you ask him why?”
“He keeps saying it’s too dangerous.”
Sam smiled. “That’s what Wade used to tell me, too.”
“Totally different situation and relationship,” Tonya said. “Wade was crazy about you. From the start.”
“So? Maybe Kirk Butler feels the same way about you.”
“Impossible! He doesn’t feel any way about me. He’s just an...an infuriating, exasperating, arrogant a—”
“Watch your mouth, cuz.” Sam grinned. “He’s certainly gotten your attention if you’ve noticed all that about him. What else?”
“Well, he’s the most confusing man I’ve ever met.” Tonya sighed. “One minute he’s chewing me out, the next minute he’s kis—” Her cheeks flushed as her voice trailed off.
“Yes? You were saying?”
“Nothing.”
“Sounded like ‘kissing’ to me.”
“Well,” Tonya mumbled, “he did kiss me once.”
Sam laughed. “I rest my case.” She paused in front of an athletics store. “Let’s go in here. I need some warm-up pants.”
Tonya followed her in but paid little attention to the displays of clothing. Could Sam be right? Could Kirk be crazy about her? Though the idea intrigued her, she doubted it.
She waited while Sam tried on the pants, then said, “If I can just convince Kirk that I fit in over there, part of the problem will be solved.”
“He’ll still be arrogant and exasperating,” Sam pointed out.
“Yeah, but I won’t mind so much.”
While Sam paid for the pants, Tonya leaned against the counter and gazed abstractedly around the store. Her eyes lit on a rack of nylon jackets and she wandered over to inspect them. The weather was getting warmer, and she needed something lighter to wear.
“Ready?” Sam joined her.
“No, just a minute. I think I’ll get one of these jackets. Everyone at the center wears these.”
“One more way to fit in.”
“Yep.” Tonya rifled through the
garments. “The color of choice for the staff seems to be gray.” She wrinkled her nose.
“Obviously not your choice,” Sam said. “Let me guess. Red.”
Tonya nodded as she made her selection. “I’ve seen a lot of red ones. They’re practically a neighborhood uniform. Be right back.”
Smiling to herself, she draped the jacket over her arm and headed for the cash register. Most of the staff at the OK Center looked pretty drab. She’d liven up the place, add some color to the surroundings, maybe start a new trend. Who could argue with that? They’d probably even be pleased.
6
TONYA SLAMMED THE DOOR of the pickup and hurried across the yard of the OK Center. The wind was brisk this morning and it was starting to rain. She was glad she’d worn her new jacket. Inside the building she slowed her steps and called a cheerful good-morning to Corelle and one of the women on the day-care staff.
Both women halted. Neither said a word. They stood staring at her with open mouths. Probably surprised she’d arrived so early. Tonya shrugged and continued down the hall.
She put her briefcase on her desk and shivered. The heat didn’t seem to be on. Or maybe it was too early for the building to have warmed up. “Coffee,” she decided, and headed for the kitchen.
The aroma of fresh coffee and the sound of voices drifted down the hall. She heard Ladonna’s throaty chuckle and Ramon’s answering laugh. Good. She needed to talk to them about an idea that had been bouncing around in her head. “Good morning,” she said as she entered the room.
Ladonna and Ramon looked up. “Good m—” Ladonna clapped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes widened.
So did Ramon’s. “Mamacita,” he whispered.
“Wh—” Tonya began.
“Holy hell!” The outraged voice came from behind her.
Tonya spun around. Kirk stood in the doorway, looking big and furious. “What—” She tried again, but he didn’t give her time to finish.
Trouble With Tonya Page 7