by Jess Bowen
She thought again of her old life, and even though it had been less than a week since she’d left, she already felt as if that life had never really happened. Like it had been a dream that she had woken up from and was just now really beginning to live her life, one that didn’t even resemble what she had left behind. That’s not to say she hated it here, but she’d been happy with her life as it was before she had come here. She had incredible friends, she was going to an Ivy League school, and she was perfectly content. She thought briefly of her mother and father and missed them terribly. As tears welled up in her eyes, she closed them and pushed the thought of her parents away. It would not do to dwell on them right now.
“Perhaps we should have gotten you some of that elixir that makes people happy for a while. You look like you need it.” Phoebe opened her eyes to see Evan peering at her.
She smiled once again, although this time it was a little forced. “I’ll be all right, but I think we should be getting back. I expect it’s nearly time for dinner.”
Evan and Cynthia nodded, and they picked up their decorations from the shop and made their way inside and to the dining hall. They had come back in right on time; dinner trays were just arriving, and Ethan, Lucy, and Jared were already sitting around a table waiting for them. Phoebe didn’t even need to ask—she could feel Ethan’s crushing disappointment from across the room. She peered around, looking for Dorian. He wasn’t there.
“Where did you get those?” Lucy asked as they reached the table and set down their merchandise.
“A little shop across the river. The lady who runs it, Margaret, makes all kinds of things,” Cynthia answered.
“So you’ve been having fun then?” Ethan asked, sounding slightly resentful.
“Still haven’t discovered you talents?” Phoebe asked, being polite, although she could tell he knew that she already knew the answer.
“No, I haven’t,” he said before stabbing some beans with his fork.
Lucy patted his hand lightly, and he smiled. A few seconds later Lucy suppressed a chuckle. Then Ethan shrugged his shoulders. What was going on? Were they having some silent conversation that Phoebe didn’t know about? She was distracted as she read them for a minute. Had Dorian been teaching them how to block her? She was getting nothing. Then Ethan laughed and looked at her. Phoebe was bewildered.
Just a second ago she had felt bad for him. He really wanted to know what his talents were so he could use them when he needed them. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to work that way. Phoebe secretly thought he was lucky. She couldn’t figure how to turn hers off, and at times she felt like her head was going to split in two from all the emotions of everyone else. She was also starting to get flashes of thoughts from time to time if she stood too close to someone and was distracted.
Phoebe had spent half the morning obsessing over the fact that Jared had worn mismatching socks, only to look over and see Cynthia staring at his socks and was sure that she was actually the one worried about it. For one horrible minute, Phoebe had thought about Dorian and how his eyes were the perfect shade of gray, only to realize she was standing close to Kali, and Kali was gazing intently at Dorian.
Phoebe didn’t have a problem with thinking about Dorian; she had been doing it a lot the past few days. But she did have a problem with Kali thinking about Dorian. If Evan hadn’t nearly hit Phoebe with a ball of water and made her duck, she probably would have considered that thought enough cause for justifiable homicide. Which was beyond crazy, of course. She still didn’t understand why she hated this girl so much. Other than the fact that she was drooling over Dorian, but was that really Phoebe’s business? He wasn’t her property.
Just then Ethan caught Phoebe’s eye again. He and Lucy had finished eating and were gazing contentedly at one another as they smiled from time to time. Surely they couldn’t be that enamored with each other, Phoebe thought. There was more to it that Phoebe didn’t know about, and it bugged her. A lot. Usually nobody could keep secrets from her. Even before she came here, reading emotions gave her insight into everything, but here there were now three people who could apparently hide things very well. Phoebe huffed, and Ethan looked over at her again, smiling.
Did you want something? he asked in his mind.
Phoebe glared at him. He was clearly enjoying her frustration.
I’ll explain it to you later. Lucy mentally chimed in, and Phoebe realized that Lucy knew something was up. That was even more frustrating to her.
Ethan shot Lucy a confused glance, and Phoebe couldn’t hear any more thoughts. They once again sank back into their perfect-couple-content-with-staring-in-each-others’-eyes routine as their hands remained joined.
“You’re going to glare a hole in his head.” Phoebe jumped as her concentration was broken.
“Ugh, you’re going to give me a heart attack if you keep doing that!” she shouted, even though she was far from exasperated. She was silently rejoicing that Dorian had finally shown up. Then she blushed, glad that no one could hear her thoughts, because that would have been thoroughly embarrassing.
Dorian leaned over her shoulder to see what direction she had been glaring in. Phoebe could smell the very familiar, yet completely unique and pleasurable, scent of his skin.
He smiled and it reached all the way to his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I came to get you for your lesson, as you requested.”
Phoebe smiled, and then a high, trilling voice made her cringe. “Dorian?”
Dorian closed his eyes, as if begging for patience, as he straightened up and turned. “Yes?” he replied politely when Kali approached him.
She smiled and her teeth gleamed. “I was wondering if you had some time this evening. I was really hoping you could help me with a particular move from yesterday that I’m having difficulty with. The one where you twist the arm and lock it?”
Phoebe’s anger flared. Of course she would “have trouble” with the move that required the most physical contact. That particular move required full frontal contact. Kali didn’t even look at her; she was pretending she didn’t know Phoebe was there. If Phoebe would have known how to summon lightening, she would have stuck Kali with a bolt right at that moment. Phoebe turned in her seat, allowing herself room to jump up easily from her chair if she had to.
“No, I can’t. I have to escort Phoebe to a meeting with Cassius. I’m sure Breanne could show you,” Dorian replied, politely of course.
Kali didn’t even look fazed. She finally glanced down at Phoebe. “Oh, well I already tried with her, but I’m still not sure I understand it completely. Perhaps Breanne could escort Phoebe.”
Phoebe could barely feel the rest of her body, just enough to know that she was tensed, ready to launch herself at Kali, and that someone had a hold of each of her arms. Phoebe felt herself shaking with fury. She heard Kali lying. Even as she spoke, the girl’s thoughts betrayed her. She was quite capable of every move that had been demonstrated yesterday, but she was yearning to have Dorian all to herself, to have his arms wrapped around her and his lips… Phoebe viciously pulled herself out of Kali’s fantasy as she stood up quickly. Dorian moved slightly. It looked like he was simply adjusting his stance, but he was subtlety placing himself between Kali and Phoebe before she could kill her.
Phoebe heard someone fall over behind her, whoever had had a hold of her arms, and suddenly Lucy was standing beside her.
“I don’t think so. If you’re having trouble, perhaps one of the other elves can help you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get going.”
Dorian turned, grabbed Phoebe’s arm, and steered her out of the hall. Lucy brushed her arm as she passed, reassuring Phoebe. As they stepped outside the doors, Phoebe felt a little better since she could no longer hear Kali’s thoughts. It wasn’t until they entered the garden that she realized they weren’t going to the right place. Dorian led her to the bench and sat her down gently as he knelt in front of her. Phoebe also realized that she was breathing as heavily as if she h
ad been running for an hour, and she struggled to bring her respiration under control. Slowly, her anger faded as Dorian watched her patiently.
Phoebe hung her head, ashamed again of her sudden burst of anger. What was wrong with her?
“Are you okay?” Dorian asked.
Phoebe couldn’t bring herself to look into his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I lose it with her.”
“She has a tendency to get under people’s skin. Edmund, the Guardian of the Cove, isn’t exactly the easiest to get along with either. Like father like daughter.”
Phoebe’s head snapped up. “Her father is a Guardian?”
“Yes, and she is Cassius’s niece. Cassius and the other four Guardians are brothers.”
“Oh, great. Now I suppose I have to be nice to her,” Phoebe said, even more irritated. What could be worse than having to be nice to someone who made you want to rip their throat out?
“Not necessarily. Cassius doesn’t care for her attitude. He’s been saying for years she needs it adjusted.” He chuckled. “Now that I’ve met her, I can see why.”
Phoebe’s hands were shaking. She could still see Kali’s fantasy in her head, and it prevented her anger from fully fading. Dorian noticed and covered her hands to still them. His skin was cool, a lower temperature than average, but hers burned beneath it. Her pulse quickened again, but not from anger.
“I wonder…” he said thoughtfully.
“What?” Phoebe asked, although she was completely distracted.
“Why does she bother you so much? I mean, a lot of people don’t like her, but you seem particularly…sensitive to her.”
“Weren’t we supposed to be going to Cassius’s office?” Phoebe asked, trying to change the subject. It was embarrassing enough for her to know Kali bothered her more than any other person on the face of the earth, but apparently others were noticing too.
Dorian smiled. “Not quite yet. I wanted to talk to you first. But if you don’t want to tell me, I have other things I wanted to ask you.”
18. Drained
Phoebe sighed. If Dorian wanted to know why Kali bugged her so much, she figured she might as well tell him. “Her mind is…deluded. She thinks about you a lot, fantasizes. It…bothers me.” Phoebe’s voice was just barely a whisper by the end of her sentence, and she stared down at her hands again, or rather his; they completely covered hers.
“I could see how it would be unappealing to have to think about something you find undesirable…” His voice trailed off; he felt hurt.
“No, I didn’t mean… What I meant was it bothers me that she thinks about you that way because you don’t think of her like that; at least I think you don’t. I mean, if you do, I can understand; she is very pretty. But it just looked like you weren’t interested. And then she keeps trying to force herself on you, and I don’t like that. I don’t like seeing her with you the way she does in her mind. She’s the revolting one, not you. But if you do…like her…then I guess I should just shut up and mind my own business.”
Dorian moved his hand and pushed Phoebe’s hair back over her shoulder before he lifted her chin so she could look him in the eyes. Her cheeks felt very warm. She was sure she had said too much. His emotions were carefully reined in, suppressed, but his eyes were warm.
“I don’t like her, not at all. I’m glad you told me, though. If it helps, I’ll try to stay away from her as much as possible.”
Phoebe felt her cheeks redden again. “That’s not necessary; you have to do your job. I can handle it. After all, I haven’t attacked her yet.”
He smiled and got up to sit on the bench next to her. “Regardless, I would much rather stay away from her. She can be very…insistent. I can always switch to another group.”
“No!” Phoebe’s response was a little too quick and loud. Dorian looked surprised, so she resorted to staring at her hands again. “I mean, I really like having you as an instructor. You’re the best, right?”
“If you want me to stay…” He trailed off, thoughtful again.
“Only if you want to,” Phoebe replied, not wanting him to base his decision on her. She also realized that she did want him to base his decision on her. She wanted him to stay.
“I do,” Dorian responded. “I was curious, though.”
“What?” Phoebe asked as she silently celebrated his decision.
“Why did you throw your shield up yesterday when we sparred?”
She smiled. He was genuinely curious. “Well, you didn’t even flinch when I elbowed you in the stomach the other day, and to be quite honest, it hurt my arm. So you can understand why having a boulder thrown at me would cause self-preservation to kick in.”
He laughed, and she finally looked up. He brushed her hair back over her shoulder again. “Do you mind if I keep questioning you?”
“I guess not.”
He thought for a moment as she turned and rested her elbow on the back of the bench and waited. “How are you doing? Here, I mean.”
“Oh, well, training is going okay, I guess. It’s only been a few days.”
“No, I meant, how are you adjusting to living here. You left a lot behind; that must be difficult.”
Phoebe couldn’t reply right away. What was she going to say? She missed her parents very, very much. She kept pulling out her phone at night, hoping the battery would be miraculously recharged, so she could call and reassure everyone that she was all right. She ached for her friends that she had known her whole life. She wanted them to know she hadn’t abandoned them. She missed her simple life where her biggest worry was what crazy project her mother was going to pull her into next. She kept missing little things, mementos that had been left behind, pictures, letters, memories… It all stung.
Dorian brushed his hand across Phoebe’s cheek and smoothed the frown lines on her face. She hadn’t realized tears had been falling. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
She shook her head. “It’s all right. It’s just hard, leaving it behind, no contact, no reminders—only feeble memories. But I like it here. It’s beautiful.”
Dorian nodded. The light was starting to fade in the garden. “I wish there was another way this could have been done, a way that didn’t cause you pain.”
“Will I see them again, my parents?”
His eyes were troubled. “I don’t know.”
Another tear spilled over. She might never see them again. She knew he didn’t say it to hurt her. He was just being honest; she couldn’t ask for more than that. It would hurt worse if he got her hopes up now only for her to be disappointed later. He lifted his arm up again to brush the tear away but hesitated. He was very uncertain about something. Finally, he made a decision and leaned forward and pulled Phoebe into his chest. She broke down. Her parents, her friends, school, her constantly flaring anger, everything that was happening outside the safe place, her frustration—all of it rose to the surface as she cried. She didn’t know how long they sat there. She didn’t care, because for the first time in days she was feeling her own emotions. She couldn’t do it before, it had been too painful, but Dorian had known, and he had helped.
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t scoff at her for being a crybaby. He didn’t make any noise at all. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. He didn’t even move other than to rub comforting circles on her back. Finally, her tears slowed and then stopped. With one last composing sigh, she pulled herself away from his embrace and dried her cheeks with her sleeve. The front of his shirt was wet, but it dried quickly, compliments of his Wind power.
“Are you okay?” he asked, watching her like he knew she was far from okay.
“Better,” Phoebe replied. She really was. Sometimes, just crying things out was therapeutic, especially when there was nothing else that could be done.
“Whenever you need to talk, or if you need anything else…” He struggled for a minute, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. “I’m here for you.”
She didn’t mind that. Not at all. She could have sat there with him forever, not that she would tell him that. “Thanks,” she replied.
He lightly wiped a stray tear away as she straightened out her hair. “I have to get you to Cassius now, if you’re up to it.” His voice was soft, soothing.
She nodded. “Yes.”
He nodded before helping her to her feet and leading her by the hand to Cassius’s office. He squeezed her hand reassuringly before taking up his post beside the window, and she stepped inside the door. The office was the same as the last time she had been there, except this time Cassius sat behind his desk instead of upon the cushioned dais. Phoebe wasn’t sure if she should apologize or if she should wait for him to speak. Fortunately, Cassius looked up at her and spoke first.
“There is no need for apologies. You have reacted in a perfectly acceptable way, and being that you are a Truth Seeker and a Master, I am blessed it wasn’t worse.”
“Blessed?” Phoebe was confused.
“Well, for instance, you could have struck me with a bolt of lightning, which although may have been appropriate, would not have been advisable under current conditions.” Cassius leaned back in his chair as he surveyed her.
“Oh, right. Um, sir, if I may ask one question before we begin…”
Cassius was quiet for a moment before answering her. “You may, but only one. Our time is limited, and you have much to learn.”
“Yes, sir. Ethan and I were wondering if our fathers are indeed brothers.”
“They are.”
“So that means Ethan and I are cousins?”
Cassius was quiet again for a moment, “You two are related, yes. I believe you had different names in the Realm of Non-Magic, but here you are known as Ethan and Phoebe Halloway.”
Phoebe felt relieved. It was no more than she expected, but nice to know for sure. “Thank you.” Halloway, not such a bad last name, but it would take some getting used to, another adjustment.