by Jess Bowen
Oh no, no, no, no, no. She can’t go. She can’t handle it. Lucy appeared outwardly calm, but she was panicking in her mind.
Hector sighed. “We have to get Dorian anyway.”
Phoebe’s face hardened and her eyes became darker. “No.”
Her voice was so full of power that Ethan was surprised Hector was able to bring himself to argue with her. “Phoebe, you know he has to go. He’s still part of this.” Hector’s tone was gentle but pleading and persuasive.
Phoebe wasn’t giving in. “If you prefer to have him go over me, then fine. I have no idea how you’ll get there. But I won’t go if he does.” Her hands shook with anger.
Not good. Definitely not good, Lucy thought. “Phoebe, I think maybe you should talk to him. There was something wrong with him earlier. Maybe that wasn’t what it appeared to be.”
Lucy’s voice faded as Phoebe’s eyes turned completely black and her closed fists glowed blue. Phoebe had never looked at anyone like that, and her hands had never glowed before. For the second time in fifteen short minutes, Ethan pulled Lucy behind his back to shield her from Phoebe’s wrath.
“Dorian made a choice. If you would like to defend him, then why don’t you run off and join him. I can give you a push if you like.” Phoebe’s hands hardened into a more solid fist, and Ethan’s shield went up around Lucy.
“Don’t even think about it, Phoebe,” he warned.
An evil smile stretched across her lips as she turned her icy gaze to him instead. “Are you challenging me, Ethan? Since when do you have the skill to even compete?”
“Phoebe, that’s enough. Dorian doesn’t go—we get it. What do you suppose we tell him if he’s in his room?” Hector asked as he stepped between Phoebe and Ethan.
Ethan’s shield around Lucy collapsed; Phoebe’s acidic words had cut him down. The power he did have felt diminished and pathetic when compared to the power that radiated from every pore of her body. She was strong and powerful and everything else he wished he could be.
Phoebe’s eyes flickered back to blue, and she unclenched her fists. “Tell him that what I do is no longer his business,” she said coldly.
Hector glanced around. “We should all go.”
Evan, Jared, and Cynthia all stepped up beside him.
Are you coming? Lucy asked Ethan.
No, Phoebe and I need to take care of a few things.
Lucy squeezed Ethan’s hand. Give her a break. She’s in pain.
She then walked over to Cynthia and muttered a “Let’s go” to Hector. The five of them made their way down the hallway flanked by the companions—including Sapphire and Shade.
Dorian was, without a doubt, one of the best fighters Ethan had ever seen, but he didn’t stand a chance against all five of them. Hector and Evan would be the fighters while the rest of them subdued him with their Elemental powers. The only complication that might arise—and Ethan shuddered to think it—would be if Kali was there. She would put up one hell of a fight.
Phoebe cocked her head to the side and surveyed Ethan for a quiet minute. “Why aren’t you going to protect Lucy?” she asked snidely.
“Because you and I need to talk,” he replied.
Phoebe’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Talk? I wasn’t aware I had anything to discuss with you.” Her voice dripped with acid.
Ethan ignored her tone and took a deep breath. “Look, Phoebe, I know what Dorian did was screwed up, and you have every right to be upset and angry about it. But you will not continue to try to intimidate everyone else by taking your feelings out on us. We’re trying to help you and give you whatever you need. Save your anger for those who deserve it. Otherwise, you’re nothing more than a carbon copy of Kali to us.”
Her shoulders slumped, and the fierce expression faded from her face. Ethan had barely noticed doing it, but he had risen to his full height while power and authority surged through his veins. He had forgotten how much taller he was than her, because he always felt so much smaller when he compared himself to the great Phoebe. For the first time in a while, Phoebe looked small, breakable, and vulnerable. Even earlier, when she had been curled up in a ball, she had refused to let anyone come near her, because she didn’t want anyone to view her as weak and in need of their help.
Now, with her hands clutched to her chest and nothing nearby to support her, she needed help. Ethan sighed and took the four steps that separated them and let her collapse against him. It was a little awkward, because he wasn’t sure how to soothe her, but she didn’t cry. She took a few deep, calming breaths before she stood back up.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to deal with this. I just can’t be near him. I do know that.”
“All you have to do is talk to us, Phoebe. You don’t have to do this by yourself.”
She nodded. “I know. Thank you, by the way. You’re right. I don’t want to be like her.”
Ethan hadn’t meant to be hateful when he said that, but it was essentially true. If Phoebe just continued to bully everyone around her into doing what she wanted, then she would be no better than Kali, and he knew she didn’t want to do that. She also had the hardest time of anyone he had ever known at asking for help. She didn’t have to be so independent all the time. Everyone needed help from time to time. It was like she was trying to be strong for everyone even when she was weak, but that wasn’t working for anybody.
“I didn’t think so.” Ethan offered her a small smile that she returned with some effort.
35. Running
It was likely to be a while longer before the others returned to Ethan and Phoebe. “Since we’re waiting here, we might as well take care of the minor details so we can be ready to leave as soon as the others get back.” Phoebe cringed but raised her hand and snapped her fingers.
“Minor details?” Ethan asked.
Link zoomed down the hallway and came to a halt in front of Phoebe. She knelt down so she could be a little closer to his level.
Link bowed. “What can I do for Miss?”
Phoebe forced a genuine smile on her face. “I have a couple of favors to ask of you, Link. First, I need you to go straight to the infirmary and get me as much Revitalizing Elixir as you can. Put it in a bag and bring it straight back here. If anyone asks, you are getting it for Cassius and you are not allowed to say what it’s for. Do you understand?”
Link’s eyes were orb-like. “Yes, I understand.” He took off at the speed of light.
Phoebe shook her head. “I hate taking advantage of his loyalty and submissiveness like that, but it is necessary.”
“Why?” Ethan didn’t understand why it was necessary to lie about what they were doing.
“If we announce what we’re doing, then it’s going to slow us down because someone will undoubtedly want to join us, and we can’t be burdened with any more people. We have just enough; any more will be too many.” And she didn’t want Dorian to find out what was really going on. Ethan knew he would demand to come, and his new love interest would probably tag along as well. Phoebe was right. If anyone found out what they were doing before they left, it would only slow them down.
Link zoomed back down the hallway with a large bag in his arms, which he promptly handed over to Phoebe.
“This is wonderful, Link!” Phoebe pulled open the sack and beamed. “This will be more than enough! You did a great job. Did anyone stop you?”
Link hopped up and down in excitement. “No, I was very fast and quiet, Miss.”
Phoebe leaned back down. “Excellent. Now, I have one more thing I need you to do for me.”
“Anything for Miss!”
“This is very important, Link.” He stood very still. “A few of us are leaving for a few days, but we have to go before anyone finds out. After we leave, I don’t want anyone to worry, so when the sun comes up tomorrow, I want you to find Cassius and tell him that Ethan, Lucy, Jared, Evan, Cynthia, Hector, and I had to go and he shouldn’t send anyone out after us. Can you remember that?”
Link n
odded vigorously, and his ears flapped in the process. “Miss Phoebe and friends must leave and no one is to follow,” he recited.
“And who do you tell and when?” Phoebe prompted.
“I tell Sir Cassius at dawn.”
Phoebe nodded. “Very good, Link. Thank you.”
“Should I tell Sir Cassius that Miss is coming back?”
It was an innocent enough question. If someone was leaving, it was reasonable to expect that someone to eventually come back. Phoebe’s eyes flickered to Ethan’s. “Tell him we hope to.”
Link nodded before zooming off.
Phoebe’s pleasant façade vanished, and when she stood back up her eyes clouded and she clutched at her chest again. “I might never see him again,” she whispered, more to herself than to Ethan.
He wasn’t even sure what to say to that. He could only imagine how she must feel. It was one thing to have the person she loved more than anything taken away from her, but it was another thing entirely, no matter how hurt or angry she might be, to face the possibility of never seeing him again. That might be the worst pain of all.
Suddenly, Ethan panicked. Lucy, he called out with his thoughts. He had blocked her while he had been talking to Phoebe.
We’re almost back. No trouble at all; Dorian wasn’t even there. Although, I don’t want to think about where he might be!
Ethan was relieved to hear her thoughts. I’ve changed my mind, well, sort of. I still don’t want you to go, but I do at the same time.
She had obviously not been paying attention to him and Phoebe, because she was shocked by his change of opinion. What? Why? What’s going on? Her carefree train of thought had switched over to concern.
Look at Phoebe, and you’ll understand. Lucy looked through Ethan’s eyes to see Phoebe slumped over with her hand clutched over her chest, pain evident on her face. He could almost feel the empty, hollow space inside of her.
What did people do when the deepest, purest love they had ever known was ripped away? How did they hold themselves together? How did they look forward to the future and see anything but darkness? How did they remain human when their souls detached from their bodies and left them alone? Where was the silver lining?
Lucy rounded the corner first as question after question poured through Ethan’s mind and hers. She ran to his side and into his arms faster than he could blink. Ethan was hers. She held his life in her heart. A body can exist without a soul, and a soul can exist without a body. But what is each worth without the other?
“I’m right here,” Lucy, his soul, whispered.
Ethan’s arms contracted around her. “And here is where you will stay,” he promised.
Even until his last breath, he would keep her safe.
Ethan could feel Phoebe’s eyes on them, watching them with longing and pain and emptiness. Ethan felt guilty. Her love had been ripped away from her, and in light of that loss, his was becoming stronger and more complete. Love grew; even when it seemed impossible, it did.
When the others arrived, Hector saw Phoebe’s slumped figure and hurried over to her. Instead of trying to comfort her, which Ethan thought would have been appropriate, he assessed her for a second before handing over her gear.
Further to Ethan’s disbelief, Phoebe turned and took her things silently with a grateful smile. Her eyes hardened back over as she pulled the strength to deal with her grief from somewhere inside of her.
They understand each other, and Phoebe’s strong. I think she’ll be all right, Lucy thought while Hector handed over each piece of gear and Phoebe strapped them on.
Evan sighed. Even Phoebe’s unnatural strength has a breaking point.
Lucy’s emerald green eyes searched his. Hopefully, with all of us, she won’t reach it.
“We’re going to have to get the elixir,” Cynthia said after Phoebe stuck her last two knives in their respective holsters.
Phoebe held up her bag, and glass vials clinked together inside of it. “Already done.”
Hector took the bag from her and handed it to Evan, who tied it to his belt. Phoebe looked at Hector quizzically. “It’s not much, but I’m just trying to lighten your load. Of all of us, you’re going to be expending the most energy,” he explained. “If I carry it and one the vials hits my leg, it’ll break.”
Phoebe nodded in understanding.
“Are we going to let anyone know where we’re going?” Jared asked.
Ethan spared Phoebe from answering. “Phoebe took care of that too. Link is telling Cassius at dawn.”
“That’s everything, then. Let’s go,” Evan said.
Heaviness settled into the air. The preparations had been made. They had a plan. They were ready. At least that’s what Ethan told himself.
His heart and lungs worked harder than he had ever remembered them having to do. As if it had been a long-standing plan, Phoebe and Sapphire turned and took the lead. Evan, Bree, and Hector, with Pele perched on his shoulder, flanked her. Jared and Cynthia spread out and took the sides while Lucy and Ethan took the back with the rest of the companions filling in the spaces. They already resembled a practiced troop as they prepared to depart.
But, so very unlike a professional military unit, Ethan reached out and took Lucy’s hand, and she squeezed his appreciatively.
Phoebe’s back was straight and her head held high, the pose of a leader. Then her hands shook. Sapphire nuzzled her cheek, and Phoebe stilled her hands by clenching them into fists and started walking. The rest of them followed their leader in silence. Soft moonlight filtered through the windows to light their way. It reminded Ethan of the dream Lucy had been having what seemed like hours ago. The way her soft, pale skin sparkled in the soft glow had been nothing less than extraordinary. The way his fingers had caressed that skin started a tingling and burning in his stomach and fingertips as he longed to do that for real.
Goosebumps had erupted under his fingers in her dream, and even now, as he thought about it, a shiver traveled down Lucy’s spine. Embarrassment colored her thoughts.
I can’t believe you saw that.
Ethan glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as they descended down the back stairs. Why? There’s nothing wrong with it.
She shrugged as she looked everywhere but at him.
Lucy, he thought. Do you want that?
He could feel her blood pressure go up and her heart pound at the very thought. Yes. No. I don’t know. I think about it, I guess.
He felt a smile form on his face. Obviously when I’m not paying attention.
They walked across the large entrance hall that contained the Pool of Companions. Well, yeah. Mostly when you’re sleeping or training.
A flash of one of their more recent training sessions played though her mind. Watching Ethan fight was something she truly enjoyed. She especially liked the way his muscles pulled, tightened, and rippled, and the look of concentration and intensity on his face. She also liked watching the power he used almost, to her, effortlessly.
They passed through the front doors, and cold air hit them. Even though the air didn’t affect any of them, Ethan still preferred warm air to cold. They had been lucky to not meet anyone on their way out. Then again, with Phoebe’s talent, perhaps luck didn’t have anything to do with it. She kept them in shadows as they headed to the tunnel entrance. The importance of their journey weighted down in the pit of Ethan’s stomach, and he squeezed Lucy’s hand again.
When we get back we can figure it out. We have to stay focused for now.
You mean if we get back. For the first time Lucy sounded scared.
Power rippled down Ethan’s spine, and his muscles tightened. No, I mean when. I will get you back safely.
Lucy shivered as his thought echoed through her mind. “I trust you,” she whispered so only he could hear.
Phoebe paused when an owl took off in a tree not far away. Ethan listened closely as everyone stopped behind her, but nothing else moved, and after listening intently, Phoebe started walking agai
n. It wasn’t long before they reached the bridge that passed over the river and entered the tunnel. Phoebe paused for a moment before squaring her shoulders and walking over the bridge resolutely.
She led them down the tunnel a little way, far enough so that when they spoke they couldn’t be heard by those in the Haven. As she led them down the tunnel, it finally struck Ethan why she was the leader. Not just because she took the role, but because she was the role. She was strong and confident and embodied the spirit of a leader. Now, through all that was weighing her down, she found the strength to continue. She moved with grace and elegance and determination, sure of her path and mission.
She was willing to lead and to have others follow her when it was necessary. She had love and compassion for those who needed it and wrath and justice for those who deserved it. Still, like any good leader, she listened to the judgment of those around her when her own judgment was not what it should be. She had power and beauty but also humbleness and humility. She had her moments of weakness, but didn’t they all?
That could have been Ethan’s position, leader instead of follower, if he could ever stop drowning in self-doubt long enough to embrace his power and position. His moment of authority was over as soon as Phoebe had realized the error of her ways and had apologized. Then she had once again, humbly and unobtrusively, taken back her leadership. Ethan had never noticed these characteristics in Phoebe, because Dorian had always been their leader, so Phoebe had never had to truly fill that position. But she had always been second in command—or maybe “partner” would have been a better word.
Even Hector embodied the spirit of a leader, but he knew his power was under Phoebe’s so he, humbly and unnoticeably, took his position behind her. Evan had taken the third position because he, too, was strong and confident—maybe a little cocky, but that made him unique and needed in his own way.
So what are the rest of us? Ethan wondered. The meek followers who do what we’re told? Trusting in the judgment of those who have the confidence and assurance to lead us? Ethan didn’t quite like the sound of it, but that’s exactly what he was. Was there really anything wrong with that, aside from his pride? Some had to be leaders and some had to be followers. Not everyone could be the leader. Nothing would ever be accomplished that way.