by Jess Bowen
Darkness is the absence of light. Happiness is the absence of pain. Anger is the absence of joy. Jealousy is the absence of confidence. Love is the absence of doubt. Hate is the absence of peace. Fear is the absence of faith. Life is the absence of death. We are all made of little absences here and there. Truth comes from which absences fill us. Strength comes from how we fill the absences.
“Truth and strength come from how we embrace those absences when we are pushed to the breaking point.” Phoebe uttered her own words with strength and vitality.
Something fluttered and smacked against the floor as something else depressed the right side of the bed—at least that’s what Phoebe assumed she was lying on—and a cool hand embraced hers.
She finally found the muscles that controlled her eyelids as a spark of electricity shot up her arm from his hand. It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t really be here. Had she really done enough good to earn that?
Yet, as Phoebe opened her eyes she was blessed to see the features that she knew so well. Silver eyes, messy, black hair glinting in the sunlight, lightly tanned skin, hard square jaw, and firm, perfectly shaped lips made up only a small portion of the man she loved more than life—or whatever this was—itself.
His smile was hesitant and relieved, but he was distant. He perched on the very edge of the bed with only his fingers touching hers. She almost couldn’t believe it when she saw that her skin was clean and unmarked. It had looked so different the last time she had seen it.
“What are you doing here?” Phoebe finally managed to ask.
His eyes darkened, and his fingers left hers. “I know you’re angry with me. I just had to know that you were really okay. I’ll leave.”
As he stood, Phoebe found the muscles in her right arm and locked her hand to his wrist. His skin scorched and cooled at the same time. He hesitated and looked at her with tortured eyes. It took her a moment to remember what she could possibly be angry about. Her memory finally provided her with an answer—Kali. Do trifling things like obsessive girls matter when I’m dead? Her heaven suddenly turned to hell as she wonder if she’d be doomed to watch the two of them together for an eternity.
“I don’t understand. You’re really with…with her?” Phoebe barely choked out the words as her stomach turned. She had been so sure that Lucy was right, that the small voice in her ear was right, but reality was slapping her in the face.
Wait. Reality? This isn’t reality. Is it? She was very confused. She let go of Dorian’s wrist and pressed the palms of her hands to her forehead as she sat up. She quickly pushed the pillows up so she could rest her back upon them, and then pulled her legs toward her, crossing them in front of her. “I don’t understand,” she muttered again when Dorian failed to say anything.
“Phoebe.” Her name was soft and tortured, and longing was evident in his voice.
“Please tell me what’s going on. I’m so confused.”
The pressure on the bed returned as he sat back down. He still felt too far away. Phoebe had lost everything, her friends, her family, her life, and now she was being tortured anew with the loss of Dorian. Was it too much to ask for a small ray of sunshine in her darkened little world?
She looked back up to see Dorian’s forehead creased with confusion. He reached out for her, then stopped, and his hand dropped. “What do you remember?”
Phoebe’s heart ached, and her throat burned. She wished he would embrace her the way he had before. As fresh rips tore at her heart, she couldn’t help but notice the steady drumming of another heartbeat beside hers. At least she still, apparently, had Sapphire.
Phoebe took a deep breath to keep her voice from shaking as she answered. “I remember everything, up until I…” the word stuck in her throat for a moment, “died,” she finally managed.
Dorian’s face relaxed, and he smiled. “Phoebe, you’re not dead.”
“Not dead?” she repeated in shock. “I’m so confused.”
Dorian scooted a little closer to her on the bed. Their hands rested inches from each other. Phoebe resisted the urge to close the gap. She glanced back up, and his eyes captured hers. A flood of emotions pierced her body. He still loved her. That powerful emotion couldn’t be faked or duplicated. How had she ever doubted it?
Desperate to understand, Phoebe searched out Kali’s mind and found it in the training arena. She instantly scanned through her memories. She watched Kali digging through the books in Cassius’s office as she waited for her uncle after her battle with Phoebe at the lake. Another flash showed Kali finding the instructions for a love elixir in one of those books. Cassius kept those books in his office because love elixirs were strictly forbidden. She copied the elixir down, replaced the book in its proper spot, and then carefully mixed the elixir until it was perfect. Anybody could make elixirs, but witches were generally the best at it.
Another flash showed Kali intercepting Dorian on his way to Phoebe during the break at the Earth Tournament. Dorian downed the persistently offered drink so he could get away from her. Kali had stood close to Dorian and the rest of the group all through the break, but was surprised when nothing happened. She found the book again when she was sent to Cassius’s office after the tournament. Phoebe could see the passage.
*To Redirect a Soul Connection
It is said to be nearly impossible to break a soul connection, but there is a way to redirect that connection. By simply adding the hair of the subject’s soul mate, doubling the calisaya bark, and adding your own hair and blood, you should find the subject pliable to your commands.
WARNING—Redirection of a soul mate requires constant use of the elixir. There have been cases when, although the subject’s body may follow your directives for a time, their connection to their soul mate is so strong that their mind remains unaffected and they develop a resistance to the elixir quickly.
The flashes stopped when Phoebe had all the information she needed. Kali had tried a love elixir on Dorian once, and it hadn’t even affected him. Her second attempt had been a bit more successful, but not by much.
“You were able to resist…because of me?” It wasn’t quite a question, but Phoebe had to say it out loud because she couldn’t quite believe it.
Her eyes refocused on Dorian’s, and he smiled warmly. “Yes.” Then his face darkened again and anger filled it. “I had no idea. I couldn’t do anything. I saw how much pain you were in, but I couldn’t even make myself look at you or say anything. It was like being possessed. I was a prisoner in my own body.”
Phoebe finally closed the gap between their hands and breathed a sigh of relief as she laced her fingers with his. She briefly remembered the flash of pain she had seen in his eyes. It had been for her. “I know. It wasn’t your fault.”
He nodded. “Cassius is sending her back to the Cove. She isn’t happy.”
“No.” The word came before Phoebe could stop it.
“No?” Dorian asked, his eyes becoming clouded with confusion.
Phoebe knew what had to happen with absolute certainty. “She and I have to finish this. If she still hasn’t gotten the message, then someone has to let her know that she is being obscenely foolish. And she still has to complete her training. I can handle her…that is…if I’m not dead, which I’m still not sure about.”
Phoebe felt incredible, and now that she knew what had happened with Dorian, she felt like she should be flying. But her brain was moving too slowly, like it had recently been rebooted and was still powering up.
Dorian smiled. “Always doubting. May I?” He scooted closer, and Phoebe nodded.
He slowly, cautiously, wrapped his arms around her. She thought about resisting, just to tease him, but she still felt like she was in a daze as things slowly trickled into her brain, so she leaned against his chest while her mind continued to sort itself out. Maybe it was the bright sunshine that made everything seem so surreal. It was very different from the endless darkness right before she had died. Or whatever.
Phoebe breathed in his
wonderfully unique scent, and finally her mind seemed to grind into action. She almost wished it would have waited just a little longer so she could stay wrapped in his strong arms for a while longer. As it was, she pulled back and leaned against the mountain of pillows behind her. Who needs this many pillows? One quick scan of the room told her she was in Dorian’s room. Dorian looked her over carefully as he patiently waited for her to speak.
Questions queued up in Phoebe’s mind. “All right, if I’m not dead—how am I not dead when I most definitely died? And what happened to the others? How did we get back here? Is Sapphire okay? What exactly is Power Shifting? Where is everyone? If you thought I was mad at you, then why am I here? How did you know stuff that I wrote in my journal? And why didn’t you try to explain yourself?”
Phoebe took a deep breath, and Dorian laughed. She lifted his hand and pressed it to her cheek, still not sure that he was real.
“Where would you like me to start?”
She quickly prioritized her list. “With the death, or non-death, issue.”
He crossed his legs on the bed, mirroring her position, and moved close enough so his knees touched hers. He brushed her cheek with his thumb and then took both her hands in his. He seemed to be settling himself in for a long story. Phoebe didn’t mind. She had him back. She was extremely angry with Kali, but that was way down on her list of worries at the moment. Besides, as far as Phoebe knew, Kali was currently out of options for Operation Stealing Dorian.
Dorian leaned in and kissed Phoebe’s forehead softly before he answered. “Well, first of all, you are most definitely not dead. And, before you ask, you are also not dreaming or hallucinating.” His eyes hardened. “You were very close, though. Fifteen seconds more and Ethan would have been out of time to save you.”
“Wait, Ethan? What? How did—” A finger to Phoebe’s lips silenced her.
“Patience. I was getting to that.”
Phoebe mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key, and Dorian chuckled.
“Okay, now, where was I again?” She tried to glare at him, but she ended up smiling instead.
“Will you get on with it already?” she burst out.
“Sorry. I thought you might know this. Ethan said you were the one to encourage him. Hmm. Anyway, Ethan has—”
“Found his talents? So glad you were getting to that.” Ethan’s voice came out of nowhere.
Phoebe glanced around Dorian to see Ethan standing, beaming, at the foot of the bed. “How did you get in here?” she demanded.
She hadn’t heard the door open. Ethan disappeared from the foot of the bed, and he was suddenly sitting right beside her, crushing her in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re awake! Everybody has been worrying like crazy!” Ethan was more exuberant than Phoebe had ever seen him.
“I’d like to stay awake, but if you keep cutting off my oxygen that might not be possible,” Phoebe said when his grip showed no signs of weakening.
He let go of her quickly. “Sorry!”
Phoebe turned back to Dorian, who was good-naturedly disapproving of Ethan’s behavior. “Explain,” she requested.
“Ethan has the talents of Healing and Shifting. He has the most powerful gift of Healing that anyone has ever known. It’s strong enough to save someone on their very last heartbeat, no matter how extensive their injuries. And I’m guessing, since you appear to be in perfect health, that there are no leftover aches or pains?”
Phoebe shook her head. “No, I feel perfect. Well, it did take my brain a few minutes to start working properly, and my powers feel a little sluggish.”
Dorian nodded. “No matter how complete Ethan’s healing was, you were still within seconds of dying, and you still needed to recover from that shock and sort of…power down for a while.”
“A while?”
“Five and a half days, almost exactly,” Ethan supplied.
Phoebe felt her jaw drop. “Five and a half days?” She was pretty sure her voice squeaked.
The door swung open. “Yes. What were you thinking, scaring us like that?”
“Evan!” Phoebe exclaimed happily as he and everyone else poured in through the door.
Evan smiled widely and jumped on the other side of her bed, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug.
“Sorry, Dorian. Ethan saw Phoebe wake up, and we couldn’t stop him. Then Evan said if Ethan got to come, then he wasn’t waiting either,” Cynthia said apologetically.
“You could have at least brought me with you,” Lucy grumbled but settled against Ethan in spite of her annoyance.
“Yeah, we were all just as worried,” Jared added.
Hector walked through the door, and Phoebe was surprised when his emotions and a beaming smile came with him. However, the look in his eyes and his thoughts stopped the question she had for him in her throat.
I know you can hear me, but don’t tell the others, please. I want to talk to you first.
Phoebe nodded stiffly, since she was still being nearly strangled by Evan, to show that she had heard his message, and his shoulders relaxed. He looked older today. It was the first time he had used his talent to change his appearance since she had first met him. He was pushing twenty-eight, by her standards.
He stood at the foot of the bed since there was no room left on it after Cynthia, Lucy, and Jared squeezed themselves there. “Umm, Evan? You should probably let her go. We’d like to keep her around a little longer,” Hector commented.
“Right,” Evan said, and he let go of her. Air flooded into her lungs.
“Okay, well, that answers my question as to where you all were and if you were okay. But I’m still confused as to how I’m even still alive. Somebody better start explaining.”
“Well, you can basically thank yourself and Ethan for that. No matter how stupid you were,” Hector said, looking a lot more serious.
Phoebe didn’t understand. “Stupid?”
Dorian’s eyes turned dark. “By sacrificing yourself.”
Her eyes flashed. “That wasn’t stupid. Would you rather be dead?”
Dorian’s palm was immediately against her cheek to calm her. “I’m sorry. Perhaps stupid was the wrong word. We were just really worried about you.”
Lucy shivered. “It was horrible having to watch that, especially when we couldn’t do anything.”
Evan nodded in agreement. He was remembering Zuriel flogging her with the metal shard-filled whip. Phoebe could almost feel the whip tearing at her back again, and it looked a hundred times worse to actually see it tearing into her flesh and sending blood down her back from his perspective. She covered her eyes as if that would block out the images—if anything, it intensified them—and leaned forward. Dorian pulled her against him and held her there.
“I don’t want to think about that right now. Just tell me how we got out,” Phoebe requested from somewhere in Dorian’s chest.
“I thought you would know. You’re the one who told me what to do,” Ethan said.
“I could feel your power, but I couldn’t tell what it was.”
“Oh, well, Cassius calls it Shifting. I can vanish from one spot and reappear instantaneously in another. As far as we know, I can carry an unlimited number of passengers. And, well, Dorian already explained Healing to you. Plus, we both have Irena’s power to share, so I can see the future sometimes. I don’t know. I just saw myself healing you and getting us out of there, and it happened. That’s also how I knew you were waking up.”
Phoebe pulled back from Dorian as Ethan explained. “What does the healing look like?” she asked.
Phoebe had already seen Shifting, but she didn’t think she could bear looking through someone’s memory to see exactly how bad she had looked while Ethan was healing her. Maybe someday she would be able to see it, but now was not that time.
“Just like this,” Evan said as he quickly pulled a knife out of his pocket.
Before Phoebe could blink, he dragged the knife from his elbow to his wrist, and his arm turned red immediately
with blood. Phoebe was glad her Truth Seeking wasn’t quite working in full force yet, because she didn’t want to feel the pain he must have been in. He held his sliced arm across her lap, toward Ethan.
“Evan! Why did you do that? I just wanted an explanation, not a demonstration!”
Evan huffed impatiently. “Oh, calm down. This is the fourth time I’ve done this. It’ll be fine.”
“Of course it will,” Ethan added.
He pressed his hand to Evan’s forearm. His hand glowed gold, and the light seeped into Evan’s arm as his wound sealed itself and all the blood disappeared.
“Wow, so this really worked on me?” Phoebe asked in awe.
She looked up to see everyone roll their eyes. “Of course it worked on you. You’re here talking to us, aren’t you?” Cynthia said.
“Well, yeah I guess. And Sapphire?” Phoebe asked. She could feel the heartbeat, but she wanted to be positive that her companion was all right.
Dorian pulled on her right arm and pointed to her companion mark. “If anything would have happened to her, your mark would be gone. You should probably let her out, though, so Ethan can double check.”
Phoebe nodded and Sapphire immediately burst out of her arm and nuzzled her neck. Ethan looked over Sapphire carefully, but she seemed to be perfectly healthy as she settled into Phoebe’s lap.
“But what about you? Your mark didn’t fade. Well, not all the way.”
It was old news, at least to those in the room, that Dorian didn’t have a companion anymore. It had taken him weeks before he told them, but Phoebe had eventually talked him into it. And, surprise of surprises, no one had considered him imperfect because of it. Phoebe had tried to keep her “I told you so”s to a minimum that day. Dorian glanced down at the sleeve that covered his faded mark.
“No one is really sure why. Cassius doesn’t even have a theory for that one.”
Phoebe already felt like she was on the brink of information overload, but she still had a million questions. “Okay, so Power Shifting. How does that work?” She directed her question at Dorian.