She had gone very still, and he could feel that hungry, raging thing in his heart go still with her.
And the truth unfurled inside him like a bolt of bright silk, revealing an intricate, beautiful, fascinating pattern. A pattern he could spend the rest of his life studying and never get bored.
“I had all these reasons to give you about why I came back,” he said hoarsely, not wanting to move in case the feeling that gripped him would disappear. The sheer fucking wonder of it. The immensity of it, so powerful that if he moved, it would shake them both into pieces. “I wanted you to know that I was sorry I didn’t give you my promise. Sorry I made you hold a gun to my goddamn head. Sorry for pretty much everything. But those were all fucking excuses.” He took a breath. “I came back, Temple, because I love you. And I couldn’t go another day without seeing your face.”
* * *
She kept her head right where it was, pressed against the hard warmth of his chest. Not daring to breathe. She felt exhausted, all the meager store of courage she’d gathered together before she’d stepped into the room, utterly gone.
She hadn’t been able to believe how badly she’d fallen apart.
But the moment she’d seen him standing by the bookshelves, so heartbreakingly familiar, it was as if she’d encased herself in armor only to find that the enemy had rocket launchers.
Then he’d turned and the rocket had fired straight through her chest, tearing her apart as if her armor was made out of tissue.
He was wearing those nondescript clothes again. Jeans and a T-shirt, and she couldn’t have even said what color they were. Because the only thing she could see was his face. There were fading bruises on one cheekbone and eye socket, yet the beauty of him struck her again like a blow to the head, making her feel dazed. And his eyes, a deep green lake with a golden sunrise flaring slowly, brilliantly over it.
And she knew she’d been stupid to come. That she should never have listened to Eva. She should have gotten on that train and gone straight to the airport, never to come back to New York again.
But she hadn’t, and now she was in this room with him, and the hope she’d been gently nursing all this time had gone. Because she wouldn’t be walking out of here whole. He had broken her, and she would stay broken.
It was pathetic to realize. It made her ashamed of herself.
And then he’d somehow managed to pick on her distress, coming for her, and she’d had to hold out her hand to stop him to somehow limit the damage. But he’d ignored that too, taking her in his arms instead.
She’d tried to struggle. Tried so hard to be strong, to fight him off. But being close to him, feeling all that hard, strong muscle around her and the heat of his body against her. Feeling the desperate hunger in her soul wake to life, the hunger she’d been keeping at bay all this time, that wouldn’t be denied.
Then he’d whispered those words in her ear. “It’s okay, I’m here.” And she’d fallen apart completely.
It was too much, too strong. This want inside her, this need for him. She had no experience of it and no defenses, and it decimated her.
She’d sobbed in his arms like she was being torn to shreds. The pain of walking away from her sister. The loneliness that now lay ahead of her. The knowledge that there would be no forgiveness for anything. The terrible ache of lost hope …
She didn’t want to believe that there was something to hold onto now. Almost couldn’t bear to do it. But he’d said those words and she didn’t quite know what to do with them.
Temple didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to raise her head, tear herself away from the warm darkness and familiar cinnamon and sandalwood scent of him.
But she made herself do it, lifting her head and meeting his gaze, not caring that she probably looked awful with her hair everywhere and tears staining her cheeks.
His eyes were the color of the sun rising. Brilliant gold. And she saw the truth in them, along with uncertainty too, and a tenderness that made her breath catch.
“You what?” she said, her voice a frayed, ragged, shred.
He pushed a curl back behind her ear and smiled, more tenderness making the tattered remains of her heart ache. “I love you,” he said simply. “And I wanted to see you again. But I wanted you to have the choice, because I know I have no right at all to ask for anything from you.” His hand drifted to her cheek, one finger tracing the line of her cheekbone and she shivered helplessly. “Make no mistake though, I may not have the right to ask for it, but I want it all the same.” His finger dropped to her mouth. “Tell me what happened. Please. I don’t like to see you so upset.”
She was trembling. “I … went to see Thalia. I always thought she’d be alone, but she wasn’t. She had a kid and a husband and…” Her throat closed up. “I couldn’t…”
His hand stroked along her jaw, down the side of her neck, a deep, terrible sympathy in his eyes. “I understand. You didn’t want to upset her and her family. You didn’t want to bring it all back to her.”
Of course he would understand. How could she forget? They were the same. He had his darkness, just as she did, and they’d carry that for the rest of their lives.
“No, I didn’t.” She shook her head. “There must be a reason she hasn’t tried to find me—” She stopped again, the pain still raw.
His stroking fingers gently gripped her chin, holding her tight. “What? You think it’s because she didn’t want you?”
She couldn’t give him anything but the truth. “She gave up so much for me, Theo. So much. The things she had to do to protect me … I can’t ever repay that. I’m not ever going to be worth that sacrifice. And I just wanted to tell her how sorry I was. I just wanted her to…” She couldn’t go on. Couldn’t say it.
“Oh, kitten,” he said softly, his beautiful voice like a warm blanket all around her. “You don’t have to tell her you’re sorry. And you don’t need her forgiveness. Because there’s nothing to forgive.”
“But what Dad did. What she had to do to protect me—”
“She did it because she was your big sister. Because her job was to protect you.” He let go of her chin, took her face between his big, warm palms, the intensity of his expression making everything inside her quiet. “Because she loved you, Temple.”
His face blurred, and she could barely speak. “How can you possibly know that?”
“Because I have a little sister too.” That beautiful voice of his had grown almost as ragged as hers was. “And it was my job to protect her. And I did.”
Violet. Of course.
She blinked away the tears, trembling and unable to stop. It didn’t seem that simple. To just accept that someone would have done something for her, purely because they loved her. “But I never did anything for her. I didn’t even know what was going on. And then after she’d gone, what I did to Dad—”
“Temple.” His hands were so strong, and yet they held her so very gently, cupping her face as if she was infinitely precious. “Did you mean what you said?”
She looked up into his green-gold eyes, the intensity in them making her shiver. “About what?”
“You told me you loved me. Did you mean it?”
“Yes.” The word was more a croak than anything else.
“You knew what I was and yet you loved me anyway. Despite everything I’d done.”
“I … did. I mean, I do.”
“Well, I know you, Temple Cross. And I know what you are and what you’ve done. And I love you anyway. And I know your sister will feel the same.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, because she had no words left.
But that was okay, because then Theo leaned forward and kissed her, and there was tenderness in the kiss and sweetness and an acceptance she never thought she’d find.
She opened her mouth beneath his, not caring suddenly about what would happen after this, what they would do or where they would go. It didn’t matter.
Because she had everything she needed most in the
world right here in front of her.
After a very long while, his fingers twined in her hair and he pulled her away gently. “There are some things you need to know,” he murmured. “The CIA cut me a deal after I was taken into custody in Paris. They want me to help them clean up the mess now the trafficking ring has been broken. Make sure there’s no one deciding to make a grab for power and that the women who’ve been captured are freed.”
She stared at him. “I wondered how you got out. Are they forcing you into it?”
Another of those beautiful smiles. “Well, it was either a lifetime in jail or I help them. I decided to help them.” The smile faded a little. “They kept my name and my involvement out of the media, and they’ve given me a new identity. It’s my penance, kitten, and I need to do it.”
Of course he would. She understood that. “So what are you saying?”
“That I haven’t got long here. I have to be back in Paris in another couple of days.”
Pain tightened its claws in her. “Oh, Theo…”
He cupped her jaw, the pain echoing in his eyes too. “I know. But I have to do this. It’s the choice I made.”
She put her hand over his, holding the warmth of him against her skin. “How long will you be? I mean, you’ll be coming back, won’t you?”
But there was only brutal truth in his expression. “I don’t know. They have plans for me and I suspect they may want me for other underground crime operations.”
She wanted to cry. “You wanted this to end. You wanted to be free. I can’t believe—”
He put his thumb across her mouth, silencing her. “No. Don’t say that. I want to do this. I need to. Jericho’s dead and so is Theodore Fitzgerald. I’m someone new. This is what I’ve been trained for. And if I can help more people, then that’s what I’ll do.”
It made sense. It all made sense. And yet it seemed so unfair, to finally have him within reach, only for him to be taken from her again.
Unless …
She swallowed as an idea came to her. A plan. And why not? It wasn’t as if she had anything better to do. And shit, she’d been trained for it too.
“I won’t let you do it alone,” she said suddenly fiercely. “I’ll come with you.”
Surprise flickered in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I almost didn’t come here to see you, Theo, because hope was all I’d been surviving on. The hope that you might feel the same way about me that I feel about you. And I didn’t want to come because I couldn’t bear to if you took that hope away from me. I’d rather not see you than lose that. But I came and now … you do feel the same.” She swallowed. “Theo, you said I was your hope. Well, you’re mine, and I can’t lose it again. I can’t.”
He was frowning. “I can’t ask you to join me. I can’t ask you to involve yourself in more violence.”
“You’re not asking me. And I’m not asking you either. I’m telling you. I need you. And I’m coming with you whether you like it or not.”
He said nothing for a long time, staring at her as if he was memorizing everything about her.
“God,” she said half desperately. “I mean someone’s got to protect your pretty ass, don’t they?”
He didn’t smile, his jaw tight. “You really would?” he asked finally. “You’d really come with me?”
She didn’t answer him. Instead she reached out and buried her fingers in his hair, pulling his mouth down on hers, giving him her answer in a kiss that was love and desperation and determination and need all in one.
“I don’t know if they’ll go for me having a partner,” he murmured against her mouth. “But I’ll convince them. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” She shifted in his lap, straddling him, kissing him harder, deeper. “Promise me you will, Theo.”
Strong hands in her hair, pulling her head back. The look in his eyes burned her, ignited her, set her blazing. “I promise, kitten.”
And he kept his promise.
Because he always did.
EPILOGUE
FIVE YEARS LATER …
Theo sat on the bench in Central Park and watched a man and a woman play catch with a little girl. The summer sun gilded the woman’s blond hair and turned the man’s a glossy black. The kid’s was a deep gold.
Kind of like his own.
“I wonder how long it’ll take them to spot us?” Temple murmured quietly from beside him.
“If they haven’t already then Hunt’s lost his edge,” he murmured back, stroking her fingers where they interlaced with his. The touch of her skin was warm, grounding him and settling the unease in his gut. “Were you this nervous when you met Thalia?”
Temple laughed softly. “Seriously? You didn’t hear me telling you I needed to throw up about ten million times?”
Ah, yes. He did remember now. So many dangerous situations they’d both been in over the past five years, and yet it was meeting their respective siblings again that had put the fear of God into both of them.
Temple’s had had a happy ending. Thalia had promptly burst into tears and welcomed her sister with a hug that threatened to squeeze the life out of her. Then, unexpectedly, she’d given Theo the same hug. Because even after all this time, she still remembered what he’d done for her, how he’d saved her. And it turned out that Thalia had tried looking for Temple after she’d gotten back to the States. But, traumatized by her ordeal, it had taken her a while to feel mentally ready to find her younger sister, and by the time she had, Temple had gone. And Thalia hadn’t been able to find her.
He and Temple had ended up staying a week with Thalia in Minnesota. And he’d thought, after spending so long working for the CIA, that finally being released from his contract with them and then spending a week in small-town American would be suffocating.
But it wasn’t. It had been … like a weight had been lifted off him.
It had been a long five years. A hard five years. He wasn’t as young as he’d once been, and he had a bullet wound in his shoulder that still gave him trouble.
But now he was free. Finally.
He and Temple hadn’t decided what they’d do with the rest of their lives—the CIA had made it clear that they might require his services in the future and he hadn’t been averse to that and neither had Temple. But for now, the world was their collective oyster.
Except first, there was someone he wanted to see.
Violet threw the ball to Hunt, laughing as their daughter leaped and caught it before he had a chance to grab it. All carefully orchestrated naturally, but the kid was ecstatic, teasing her father with the ball then squealing in delight as he tried to grab it off her.
A perfect family picture.
“I want that,” he said. “One day, I want that.”
Temple’s fingers squeezed hard around his. “Then you should have it. You’re not getting any younger after all.”
“You didn’t seem to think that last night,” he commented lazily, giving her a sidelong glance. “In fact, if I recall, you were the one who wanted to go to sleep.”
Her mouth curved, her golden eyes brilliant. “Hey, you try being coherent after four orgasms.”
Out in the summer sun, Violet called something to Hunt. Then she turned to where Theo and Temple sat on the bench.
And Theo’s heart went still.
Violet began to walk toward him. Then she began to run.
Temple let go of his hand. “I think someone wants to say hi, Theo.”
He stood and his heart began to beat again, fast and hard.
And then Violet was there and he opened his arms and she flung herself into them.
“Hi, Peanut,” he whispered in her ear. “Long time, no see.”
Looking for more hot billionaires?
Don’t miss the first novel in the brand-new Tate Brothers series
THE DANGEROUS BILLIONAIRE
Coming soon from St. Martin’s Paperbacks
ALSO BY JACKIE ASHENDEN
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Mine To Take
Make You Mine
You Are Mine
Kidnapped by the Billionaire
The Billionaire’s Club E-Novella series
The Billion Dollar Bachelor
The Billion Dollar Bad Boy
The Billionaire Biker
Praise for Jackie Ashenden and her sizzling novels
“With a distinct voice and fresh, complex characters, Mine To Take is a sexy, emotional read that gripped me from page one. I can’t wait to see what Ashenden brings us next.”
—Laurelin Paige, New York Times bestselling author
“A scintillating, heart-pounding love story. A dark, sinfully sexy hero with a tortured past. I loved it!”
—Opal Carew, New York Times bestselling author
“The sex is dirty-sweet, with a dark lick of dominance and the tantalizing potential of redemption, and an explosive ending provides the perfect closure to Gabe and Honor’s story while setting up the next installment.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Mine To Take
“Intriguingly dark and intensely compelling … explosive.”
—RT Book Reviews on Mine To Take (Top Pick!)
“Powerfully suspenseful and, above all, sensual and meaningful … not to be missed.”
—RT Book Reviews on Make You Mine (Top Pick!)
“Ms. Ashenden is an incredible storyteller.”
—Harlequin Junkies
“Sexy and fun.”
—RT Book Reviews
“Truly a roller coaster of a ride … well worth it.”
—Harlequin Junkies
“Steamy.”
—Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jackie Ashenden lives in Auckland, New Zealand with her husband, the inimitable Dr. Jax, and their two kids and two cats. When she’s not torturing alpha males and their stroppy heroines, she can be found drinking chocolate martinis, reading anything she can lay her hands on, posting random crap on her blog, or being forced to go mountain biking with her husband.
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