by Rue Volley
“Liv!” Court exclaimed as she bumped him from the side. “Stop being coy, it’s annoying.”
She grabbed the book that he wanted as he reached for it again, but she moved down the row and leafed through it to mess with him.
“Well, he’s a reader, like us, and think about it, Harper. What do all of these dead boys end up doing?”
Both GG and I hung on his words. He smirked. “What?” We spoke in unison, forcing him to blink.
He offered his cryptic warning with, “They propose.”
“Propose what?” GG asked.
“What do you think?” he scoffed.
Then it hit me. I backed away, fidgeting with my hands. He was suggesting the same thing that my mom had. I felt attacked. Completely and utterly.
GG’s voice rose a full octave. “What? What am I missing?”
Court handed Liv the book. Ironically it was Romeo and Juliet. I think he wanted to hold it like a prop to drive home his warning about toxic relationships. Because that relationship was probably the most toxic one of all, and she was so young—I am, too.
I don’t even know how old Killian is! I never asked. He could be a senior for all I know!
My stomach ached. She looked at the two of us while leaning into his side. “Marriage.” She added, and GG sucked in her breath so dramatically it could’ve won an oscar.
I collected myself. I refuse to let him believe that he’s upset me. He has, but I need to hide it as advantageously as I can. I know him. He’s vicious when he smells blood in the water. He wanted to plant these little seeds of doubt and fear in my mind.
Unfortunately, it was working.
He was right. All of the dead boys that I loved were overtly romantic and did make grand gestures when you least expected it.
I could feel the sweat on my palms. “I’m fifteen.” I felt like I was confirming the obvious.
He stayed the course. “And?”
“No—I’m fifteen,” I repeated with conviction, “I can’t do that.”
Liv leaned in closer to me. “So—what’s the plan? Is he moving in with you and your parents?”
“Rude,” GG grumbled next to me. At least someone was on my side.
“What?” his eyebrow cocked. “Am I wrong? Tell me that I’m wrong. Just think about it. Every single one of our favorite books ended this way, didn’t they? Two kids fall in love so desperately that marriage is inevitable. Especially when everyone is against it.” His eyes locked on me. “Everyone.”
I parted my lips. The shock of it had my thoughts swirling. I couldn’t think clearly enough to argue. That’s when I knew just how serious it was.
Killian’s actions were leading down one path and one path only. A path I couldn’t follow.
Liv waited for my response, and so did Court. She’s an enabler when he gets like this. Prodding him was a pleasure of hers, but I’d never been the target before. It was hurtful. Liv seemed to love Killian—too much even. He pushed for him to be in the club. He was thrilled when he showed up at my house. Now he was unraveling my ignorant bliss, thread by painful thread.
I mumbled under my breath. “Not every one of them.” But I couldn’t think of a single one of my favorite books that didn’t end this way—with a wedding, or a proposal.
Oh, he can’t propose to me. He just can’t.
My thoughts twisted and turned. Everything innocent and good about Killian seemed to darken with each passing second. I wanted to cry, but I refused to give Liv the satisfaction.
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the bookshelf. “Don’t be so delusional, Harper. It’s coming. Mark my words—it IS coming, and when it does, you better start packing because a boy like that isn’t going to want to stay in Juniper Hollow. He only came here because of his dad. I’m sure that he’s just waiting for the day when he can get far far away from this little town. I mean, he looks like a city boy, doesn’t he?”
Court nodded. I wanted to hate her. I wish I could, but everything Liv was saying held some truth.
Truths I didn’t want to admit.
“Harper, really?” GG whispered. Panic distorted her pretty features. I didn’t know what to say. She was in shock, and Court was in drama heaven. Neither one of them would be coming to my aid any time soon.
I scoured my mind for something—anything, but I was so upset I couldn’t—I just—
He shrugged his shoulders. “Well, there’s only one thing you can do now.”
My glassy eyes landed on him. I felt like sobbing. The tears welled up in my eyes. What seemed like a wonderful thing was turning sour. The thought of losing my parents—even my brothers, terrified me. Killian wouldn’t be taking me away from anyone.
No, he would not.
“Pick out a dress.”
Court slapped him on the arm. “Okay, brat—stop. Look at her. She’s going to cry.”
My lip quivered. My stomach ached.
I love my family, my friends—this town, and Killian wasn’t from here. He was just as bad as Angel and Max. Showing up here and changing things, changing me! Making me feel different and forcing me to do things I never had before. I don’t step outside this comfortable space that I live in.
A bubble maybe—but my bubble.
It’s safe, and I know everything about it. Every sound, every sight—every single day plays out like the last one. I have a pattern I stick to and nothing had been the same since Killian Porter had so rudely interrupted my reading in the cemetery that day.
I didn’t ask him to talk to me. I didn’t invite him to show up right as I was finishing my favorite series. I wanted nothing, and yet here he was, disrupting everything.
My parents reacted badly. Now my friends. Should I be scared? Running? Terrified? Am I too blind to see what’s going on?
No—NO. Killian Porter would not be taking me away from anything. I’m fifteen! I have so much time left—things to do. BOOKS TO READ! I hadn’t read a single line since he arrived here. NOT ONE.
No. No. No.
My brow furrowed, and a sharp pain lingered behind my left eye. My sinuses flared.
I turned and ran away from the three of them. Liv was laughing. “Harper, come on! I was joking—sort of.”
Court swatted at him again. “Seriously, stop it. Harper! Come back!”
But I couldn’t.
I can’t.
I won’t.
Chapter Fourteen
I got sick.
Very sick.
So sick, I couldn’t leave my bed, and I barely ate. Appetite had been replaced by constant nausea. The thought of food made me cringe, as did the thought of Killian.
My skin grew paler, my eyes darkened. I coughed more, and my chest ached. I laid in bed for days. My mom brought me soup and fed me, but she wasn’t feeling very well, either. I could tell. Even Innis and Gunn were quiet, which was so unlike them.
The house grew colder as the days wore on. The clouds gathered, and the sky was gray. The storms had arrived, both physically and figuratively.
I slept, hard and heavy. Sinking into my bed and dreamless sleep. No butterflies, no dead boys—no blinding light. Just darkness. It was a terrible feeling. Like something or someone had died. The fever came and went. I tried to piece together what was happening, but I was weak—so weak that I couldn’t. At least the sickness had absorbed my fears about Killian. It gave me a viable excuse to stay away from him—from everyone.
Then on what I think was the seventh day, a little bit of light entered my room with a blurred rustling of curtains, and I felt like sitting up. I expected to see my mom’s smiling face, but no one was in the room.
I placed my feet on the floor and sighed. My body felt sluggish, my muscles ached, but at least I could sit up and enjoy the wood floor beneath my feet. I needed to move before I disappeared forever. I didn’t want that. Not really.
I swallowed, and it hurt, but not as bad as before. The burning was gone, and I was back to nagging tickle that always lingered in the
back of my throat — the manageable one.
I stood up and walked to the window. My brow furrowed when I noticed that some of the leaves seemed to be green again. The trees have a mind of their own, and why not? They’ve been here long before us, and I’m sure they’ll outlive the last of us.
I turned when my mom entered the room with a tray in hand. I could smell the vegetable stew. It made me smile. My stomach growled. It was a good sign that I was on the mend.
She appeared tired, pale—but at least there was a little color in her cheeks. I didn’t want to ask if it was makeup. It may upset her. She was never one to complain about not feeling well, so the fact that she looked somewhat disheveled told me that she had been just as sick as I had been.
But moms are the first to pick up a sword and shield for their children and the last to fall.
“Oh, honey. I’m so glad to see you up and walking.”
She set the tray down on my nightstand and then immediately gave me a hug. She felt thinner. She’s a petite woman, so she doesn’t have much to lose by way of weight. But I could feel her spine through the fabric. It concerned me.
“Did everyone get sick?” I asked.
She offered a nod while toying with my bangs. They were longer, in my eyes. She pushed them off to the side. “Nearly the whole town. At least half.”
I shook my head and looked out the window. “Middlings.”
She laughed. “You do know that we’re Middlings.”
“You know what I mean, Mom.”
“Well, it seems that David and his friend were sick.”
My eyes glossed over. “Oh, no. They were?”
She nodded while cupping the side of my face. “Yes, with some virus, but it’s passed now. Look.” She glanced over at the window, and I could see sunshine and butterflies fluttering by the window. Too many to count. I half grinned. The sight of them soothed me for some reason. Then I started to remember everything that happened before I got sick.
“Did he try to come over?” I asked.
“Who?” she asked.
I narrowed my eyes. “Killian Porter.”
She looked confused and then she remembered. “Oh—the boy with the cat?”
“Yes,” I said.
“No one came, not a soul. Like I said, nearly the whole town was sick.” She ran her hand through my hair. No curls remained. It lay straight against my shoulders with a lingering wave from years of curling it. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was wearing my white nightgown. It clung to my collarbones. My eyes seemed darker. I fingered at my lip.
I don’t know why it worried me that he hadn’t tried to come over, but maybe he was sick, too. I should just let it go, but the thought of him nagged at me. I scanned my room and then sniffed myself. I grimaced. “I really need a bath.”
My mom snickered. “I’m already ahead of you. I have one ready, complete with oat, cocoa butter, and lavender. The tea bag has been steeping for a few minutes in the tub, go soak in it. Trust me, you’ll feel right as rain. I also put a little eucalyptus in there,” she pointed to her nose, “it’ll help with the sinuses.”
“Thank you so much, Mom. You’re the best.”
She gave me one more hug and then lingered longer than I expected her to.
“What?” I asked.
“I just—well, I wanted to apologize about the way I treated your new friend.”
My chin lowered, so she continued, “The boy with the cat.”
“Killian.” I corrected her.
“Yes, Killian. He seemed nice enough, and I shouldn’t have, well—we shouldn’t have said some of the things that we said to him.”
“Some?” I retorted.
She rubbed my shoulders and hugged me from behind as I stared at our reflection in the mirror. The light had cast a haze across the surface, which left us ghostly white. “It was very unfair. So, if you want to invite him over for a movie or something, you can. Your dad and I discussed it, and that would be fine, as long as one of us is home, of course.”
I didn’t say anything, so she rubbed my arms and felt my forehead with the back of her hand.
“Are you still feverish?”
I shook my head. “I—no, I’m not, I just, well—I think maybe you guys might be right about him. He is a strange boy, from someplace else. I don’t really know him. I just think it would be best if I do my thing and he does his.”
She looked surprised. “Is that what we call it now?” she asked.
“Call what?”
“Breaking up,” she added.
I felt the blood rush to my face. I pointed toward the door. “You know what? I do feel a little hot. I think I should go take that bath now.”
She nodded, so I left her standing there. I entered the hallway, mumbling. “We didn’t break up because we were never dating.”
I jumped when Innis began screaming behind me. “DATING!”
I turned and shook my head as my mom leaned out the door.
My dad popped around the corner, “Dating? Who’s dating? Are you dating?” he asked while pointing at me.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”
He stopped and stared at Mom. “I knew this day would come. I’m ready. I have plenty of ammunition.”
She grinned, I didn’t. This situation wasn’t getting any better.
“I have books I’ve studied. Let’s do this!” he exclaimed.
I took a step backward. “Do what, Dad?”
He took a deep breath and let it out. “The talk.”
I turned and began to walk briskly toward the bathroom. “Nope. No—no, no. We are not doing that today, or ever.”
He followed me. “Harper, you’re fifteen. It’s a bit overdue.” He stopped at the bathroom door as I grabbed the handle.
“I’m fine, Dad.” I punctuated it with a quiet nod.
“I’ve studied for this—prepared. It’s like prepping for the apocalypse.”
My mom joined him. “He has.” They looked at each other, and then it hit me, they’re doing it again! This was part two of their plan to make sure that I never dated anyone for as long as I lived.
“You know what, Dad? I’d love that. I want the whole enchilada like it’s taco Tuesday, and you know how much I love Mom’s veggie tacos.”
He parted his lips and glanced at my mom. They are so devious. I swear.
“But you know what would be better? Why don’t I invite the boy with the cat over here and we can all have the talk so we can make sure that everyone has the same information.”
I stood there with my arms crossed, tapping my foot. They knew at this point that the jig was up. My dad lifted his finger, and my mom grabbed it while simultaneously lowering it to his side.
I closed the door, and with that, their siege had ended.
Once and for all.
Chapter Fifteen
“They did not,” GG half-whispered. I hadn’t seen my friends in over a week, and according to them, they had all fallen sick, some as bad as I had, but no one complained of aches and pains—so, in the end, I guess we were all pretty lucky. I just felt so much guilt for bringing Angel and his friend back to our home. That meant they got me sick first and I was a carrier that got everyone else sick. The thought of it plagued me. I wanted to apologize, but how could I have known?
I perked up. “They did. They totally tried to use some reverse psychology on me. Ya know what? I think I’ve become the adult in my house. I knew it would eventually happen, and now here we are.”
She giggled. At least I could still make her laugh.
Liv sat down across from us in the cafeteria. I could see that he didn’t grab much. A lonely green apple stuck out against the ink-black tray.
“Are we dieting?” Court asked as she slid down next to him.
He glared at the apple. “It’s tuna fish casserole Tuesday. It’s a travesty. Plus, my appetite isn’t what it once was. That flu was awful.”
GG nodded. “Oh, my Goddess, it was the worst. Did any
of you dream? Because I didn’t, not one the whole time.”
Liv cocked his head. “No—I didn’t.”
I tried to steer the conversation away from the virus. “That’s right. It should be tacos. I mean, it’s Tuesday, right.”
GG leaned against me while giggling. “You don’t even eat meat.”
I glanced over at her. “No, we don’t. We eat Boca burger, and it’s delicious. You’ve had it before. My mom uses it in a lot of dishes. It’s just soybeans and wheat gluten.”
Liv narrowed his eyes while picking up the apple and inspecting it. “Boca is not the same.”
I tilted my head. “You’ve never complained before.”
His eyes wandered behind us. “You just think it’s good because you’ve never had the real thing.”
I glanced behind me, curious as to what he was looking at, and immediately regretted it. Killian was standing in the doorway, looking as disheveled and handsome as ever. It was ridiculous how he could make dark jeans, a button-down shirt, and combat boots look like a tuxedo. I faced forward, trying to hide a reaction. I wasn’t ready to talk to him again. I honestly didn’t know if I ever would be.
Court bit on the end of her straw. “Well, look who it is.” Like he needed an introduction.
Liv stood up, and so did she. I was shaking my head as they stepped away from the table. Then GG tried to stand, and I grabbed her hand and pulled her back down next to me.
She was NOT going to abandon me.
“Harper,” she whispered with a wide side-eye.
“Please stay. Please?” I begged.
She was always the easiest to manipulate among us, so she let out a sigh when I squeezed her hand out of desperation.
“He’s coming.”
“I know,” I replied.
“Like, now,” she added.
I stared at my tray, considering taking a bite of the unthinkable. The tuna casserole laid there, taunting me. I had accepted the tray while in line without thinking much about it. I couldn’t imagine eating an animal, but I may have to so I can run to the bathroom when it forces me to get sick. I can just pretend like I still don’t feel good. That won’t be hard to believe, right?