“I didn’t even know he had that house on the beach.” “Right, because he only bought it about six months ago. He wanted you to have a vacation home close to Cade’s family.”
“So you felt this way for how long?” “The day of his memorial. When I sat there, I thought about the fact that he would’ve loved what we did. Then I thought the smug son of a bitch was probably watching.”
I shake my head, kn owing that I’d missed all of the signs. One thing I’ve learned through all of this is that I have a few people I can depend on and my father, whether he loves me or not, has never been one of them.
Chapter 30
Cade
Daria and I have been home for a we ek now. She’s been resting. The girls come by when I have to go to practice. I was worried about leaving her to start with, but Dr. Schmitt assured me that if I smother her, she’ll push me away.
The day I came home to get her some clothes I actually had a little breakdown myself. It was the first time I’d really been alone with my own thoughts since we’d lost the baby. I walked in and saw the baby books on the coffee table and the real-estate ads, and I just lost it. I locked all of the books up in the spare bedroom. I’d have hated for Daria to come in and see them.
The guys have definitely been trying to take our mind off things. Russ is his usual self, making smartass comments and giving Gabby shit. Anna just sits back and laughs.
My mom and Richard will be here tonight for the weekend. They’re coming to watch the first game of the season tomorrow. I also know my mom really wants to check on Daria and me herself. I have a few other tricks up my sleeve for this weekend, though.
When I called them the other day from the hospital, my mom was beside herself that she couldn’t be here for us. She was working long hours because they’ve been shorthanded. She cried on the phone until Richard finally Richard took it from her and asked if he could do anything.
I walk into the living room. Daria’s sitting on the couch very quiet. “You okay?”
She nods. “Yeah. I was just thinking. Can you come over and talk for a minute?” “For you, I have all the minutes in the world.” I sit on the sofa next to her. “What’s on that beautiful mind of yours?”
“I think I still want to buy that house.”
“Okay, I told you whatever you want to do.” “I’ve been thinking. I hate this apartment. It makes me angry because it was yet one more decision dictated by my father. He chose this place, not me, and he did it out of guilt. I know when I buy the house, it’s still the money that he left me. But he really has no say in it. Plus, I fell in love with that little house.”
“Hey, I’m cool with whatever. You know that. As long as I’m with you, I’d sleep in a cardboard box.”
She smiles. “Well, I wouldn’t.”
“Good to know you got my back. But there’s something else you aren’t telling me.” “I just... It’s hard to explain. I want what I thought I would never allow myself to have. I want a house and kids. I’ve been sitting and thinking for the past few days and some of the things Dr. Schmitt has been trying to get me to understand for almost five years have finally started to sink in, I guess. I can’t continue to let the actions of my father control my future. Especially now that he’s not in it.”
“That’s wonderful, baby. I’m glad you finally understood what she was saying. Stop carrying around the guilt of what your father has done. You aren’t him. You couldn’t be selfish or put a child in the situations he’s put you in. I’m happy for you.”
“I had some moments of clarity lying in that hospital bed and sitting around here for almost a week. I realized that I wanted that baby. I wanted a little girl with your eyes and my hair or a little boy that looked like you.”
“We can still have those things. Hell, I’ll knock you up tomorrow if you want or, well, we can try.” She shakes her head. “I don’t mean that I’m ready for everything right this second. But most definitely in the next couple of years, I’d like to start again. I also decided that not only am I going to give money to those centers, I also want to work and volunteer at one. I’m going to finish my degree in social work. I want to help people. I want to be that person who could help that fifteen-year-old girl that I was. The good news is that, looking at my transcripts, I don’t have many hours to fulfill the requirements. Somehow with all of my changes I did get most of the right classes. Maybe somewhere deep down I knew this was what I needed to do. I actually need several clinical classes to finish my BS and then I can finish with my Master’s in counseling.”
“Wow, you’ve done a lot of thinking. I’ll stand behind you with whatever you want to do.” I look down at my watch. “Shit, baby, I hate to cut this short, but I have to get to practice.”
She stands up and kisses me. “It’s okay, I’m glad you’ve been patient with me and that you listened to my plans. I was hoping it would go okay. I practiced on Gabby yesterday.”
I laugh. “I love you.”
~*~*~ Getting to practice, I see Linc and Russ. They ask about Daria. I fill them in on some of the conversation we had before I left.
Linc says, “That will make Gabby happy if you guys move close by, so in turn, I’ll be happy.” I have to admit I’ve missed having Gabby next doo r to me. When I think about that just a few years ago Gabby and I were arguing over whose turn it was to drive. She would talk trash about the skanks (well now I see they were skanks) I was dating.
“Cade.” Linc shouts at me breaking from daydreaming. “Come on we have to run the rocks.”
I head over to the concrete bleachers. “Why are we running the rocks?”
“Well Coach calls it conditioning. I’m calling it stupid freshmen running their mouths.”
“Damn it.” I take off up the bleachers.
After a couple of hours in the blazing heat, Coach calls practice for the day. I make my way into the locker room. Coach pulls me over to the side to ask me about Daria. For some reason, the grumpy old man has a soft spot for her. He says that she reminds him of his late wife.
Once we finish talking, everyone else has pretty much left. I’m kind of happy to see that I get to shower by myself. It’s not that I have a problem showering in front of the other guys. It’s just that sometimes it’s nice to have some privacy. Even though our showers are stalled off, it’s still nice to be all alone.
When I’m done showering, I step out to grab my towel and notice someone standing in the doorway. I look up to see Carrie.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?”
“I figured you might want some company.”
She steps forward and pulls the tie on the wrap dress she’s wearing and it falls to the floor.
“Well, I don’t.” I’ve got my towel so tight around my waist, it’s cutting into me. “Get the fuck out of here.”
“Oh, but Cade, we could be so good together. Just let me show you.”
“No. You are a nasty piece of work. Now get your skank ass out of here.”
She just stands there.
I look at her. “Fine, I’ll leave.”
As I walk by, she grabs my arm. “Why don’t you want me?” “ For several reasons. First, I have a girlfriend who I love more than life itself. Second, I don’t like you. Third being you’re a nasty slut. I can keep going if you’d like.”
She snatches the dress up off the floor. “You’re just a dick. Too bad. We could’ve had fun. But you haven’t heard the last from me.”
“I really hope I have. I don’t like you.”
That damn girl is freaking crazy.
After she leaves, my phone pings that I have a text message. It’s from Daria.
I’m going to run some errands. I’ll be back in a few hours.
: I’m finished with practice do you want me to go with you? No I’m actually looking forward to driving myself around. As much as I like you for a chauffeur. Plus I have to go by Chandler’s and pick up my last paycheck.
Okay just be careful. Oh Gainer is having his
annual kickoff party tonight. Wanna go?
IDK maybe for a little while
Sounds good. Mom and Richard are going to watch Marshall so Linc and Gabby can go.
YAY -
See you soon. ILY ILY2
Chapter 31
Daria
I’ve been to the crisis center to talk to them about volunteering. I also talked to the director about the money I want to donate. After, I went by to see the realtor about showing me the house in Gabby’s neighborhood.
On the way home, I spotted a pretty silver Volvo XC60 that I think I’m in love with. I never thought for a minute that I would even consider spending that kind of money on a vehicle, but the safety ratings don’t lie. Normally, I’d still talk myself out of it, but I did some research after seeing it at the lot today and it has one of the best resale values too. So I guess it’s like an investment.
I head to the mall. I want to get a new outfit for the party tonight. I want something sexy. I went for a checkup yesterday and my doctor said it was okay to “resume sexual activity.” I may even treat myself to some new bra and panty sets.
In record time, I find a really cute outfit for tonight. I head to Frederick’s and, as per usual, I know I’m going to spend way too much money. I’ve found so many cute things. Even some stuff Cade and I can play dress up with.
A sales clerk steps around the counter. “Can I help you?”
“Not really, I’m just looking for some new bras and stuff.” “Oh, well, that new style you may want to try on. Several people have said they fit smaller than the other styles.”
“Thanks. I’ll do that.”
As soon as I go to the dressing room, Carrie steps out holding the same negligee I am. “Oh, hi, Daria.” “Hey,” I say, making my way to the dressing room.
“Trying to put some spice back in the bedroom?” she asks with a smirk.
“No, just picking up a few things. My bedroom is always plenty spicy.”
“Oh, really? Well, isn’t that nice.”
She’s just trying to push my buttons. I step into the dressing room so that I can quit talking to her. I end up leaving the store with several bra and panty sets. I have a serious addiction to bras and panties. I also put that damn negligee back on the rack. I cannot go through life knowing that I have the same one Carrie does. Now I get to rush home and put on my sexy outfit.
I call the girls on my way home and tell them about my run in with the she-devil. Plus, I wanna find out what time we are leaving tonight. We’re all meeting at Gabby’s since that’s where the baby will be and we’re taking one car.
A few hours later, I’m ready to go. When I walk out of the bedroom in my new Rock Revival jeans, sexy red sweater top, and knee high boots, Cade whistles.
“You look sexy, baby,” he says, slipping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.
I giggle. “Thank you.”
“We could just stay home tonight.” “No, Gabby’s already called and texted me this afternoon. She’s so excited about going out. I can’t disappoint her again.”
“What do you mean disappoint her again?”
“We never got to have our spa day like we planned.”
“She wasn’t disappointed by that; she was disappointed for you.”
“I know. I just mean she was looking forward to it and we didn’t get to go.”
“Well, you guys can do it another weekend. Maybe you guys could go in the morning before the game?” I start laughing. “You have to have an appointment. Plus, once you get pampered at the spa for hours, you don’t want to go sit at a football game.”
“How am I supposed to know this?” “Just know it’s not like Cost Cutters in the mall where you go. You can’t just walk in and say, ‘Hey, I’d like to get a massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure.’”
“Whatever, woman. You better behave or I’ll have to knock you back in line.” He pops me on the ass.
“Ooo, I might like that.”
“Maybe later.” He chuckles, walking to the front door.
I run and jump on his back to get a piggyback ride to the car. I lean into his ear. “I love you, Cade Johnson.”
“I’m pretty fond of you myself.”
~*~*~ When we arrive at the party, it appears to have been in full swing for a couple of hours already. Gabby was really excited and she was ready to go as soon as we got to their place. Linc was the one trying to make sure the grandparents knew how to call 9-1-1 if there was an emergency.
Walking in the front door, I have to step around a freshman, who is already way too drunk. Weaving our way through a sea of half-naked girls who are letting drunk assholes rub all over them we make it to the keg.
I motion to the drunk guy. “Guys, do you think you should find him a place to go or a ride home? He has to play tomorrow, right?”
Linc shakes his head. “No, he’s a red shirt. But we do need to get him up and get him sobered up. Coach will still be pissed if he shows up hung over.”
Russ helps lift the guy up. “What in the hell was Gainer thinking having his party the night before the game this year? He normally has it the week before or a couple of nights before.”
“Who in the hell are most of these people? I don’t really see many of the team in here.” Linc says looking around the room.
I realize I’m irritated with the new guys, the people crashing and the nasty skanks they brought with them. We’ve become the old people at the party. Although I don’t ever remember myself running through here in nothing but a thong, holding my chest and giggling.
The guys get our drinks and I motion for us to go out back. Once we are on the back deck by the fire pit, I look at my friends. “Was I the only one a little freaked out in there?”
Anna starts laughing. “No, did you see those two drunken guys in the corner painting each other’s chests?”
“I was referring to the girl in nothing but a thong running from the guy with a beer helmet on his head.”
Cade shakes his head. “I don’t know what happened, man. These new people are crazy.”
“I was thinking the same thing. I was worried I was just getting old, but I never did anything like that.” Russ chokes. “I really wish I could say that.” I laugh. “So, what? Did you and Linc get drunk one night and body paint each other? No, you ran through the crowd in nothing but your thong.”
Russ throws his hands up. “Busted. It was the thong.”
Shaking my head, I think, I love my friends.
We’re so busy laughing at Russ acting like he’s modeling thongs that we don’t notice Carrie.
Chapter 32
Cade
We’re so busy laughing at Russ acting like he’s modeling thongs that we don’t notice Carrie.
“Hey, Cade.” Anna holds her nose. “I thought I smelled something like Eau de Skank. Carrie, can you please go somewhere else?”
“I just wanted to tell Daria that I was sorry to hear about her miscarriage. It was a miscarriage, right?”
“Yes it was,” Daria replies. “I was just making sure you guys didn’t change your minds.” D aria’s face turns red and we push her behind us. Anna and Gabby both step forward. Gabby grabs her arm. “Carrie, you need to take a walk.”
Anna smiles. “Preferably off a cliff, but away for now works for me.” Carrie smirks. “Oh well, I was just going to say it was nice meeting you in the shower today, Cade, and that’s a really cute birthmark on your ass.”
And… there’s a slap, sports fans.
Carrie glares at Gabby. “You bitch. You slapped me.” Anna glares at her. “If you stick around much longer, that slap is going to seem like nothing compared to the fist you’re going to get from me.”
“What’s your problem? You unhappy with my leftovers, Anna?” Linc steps over. “Carrie, you need to leave. None of us want you here. Russ never slept with you. We all know that. The main thing is that you should never say something like that to someone who has lost a child.”
She rolls her eye
s. “You guys act like she’ll never get pregnant again or something. Hell, she wasn’t even that far along.”
Out of nowhere, Jason’s gi rlfriend, Macy, walks up. “Carrie, you are a horrible person. You need to seek therapy or something. I know last year you were trying to sow your wild oats and all. But grow the fuck up. You don’t say things like that to people. If I ever hear you say something like that to her again, I’ll make your life a living hell.”
I realize we’ve started attracting a crowd and I really don’t feel like having my personal front and center. I need to stop this.
“Look, Carrie, I told you today, when you walked in the locker room on me, stay away from me. I’m not interested in you and Macy’s right. You should see a counselor or something.”
Gainer steps in. “Carrie, I called you a cab. You need to go.”
“Why do I have to go?” She pouts. “I heard what you said and I jus t found out about the blow you were doing in my bathroom. I don’t want that shit in my parents’ house, so you need to go. The cab is out front now.”
For the first time, I notice the look in her eyes as she turns and stumbles. “Fuck you! Fuck all of you!” she screams as she stomps off.
Russ looks at Gainer. “Dude. She’s got some issues.”
Gainer sits down on the bench. “Tell me about it. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking having this party.”
I pat his shoulder. “Are you like us and starting to feel like the old people at the party?”
“No, I’m just irritated. They all just go crazy here, but I’ve never had to kick someone out for drugs before.” Daria finally speaks up, her eyes red. “Most of that shit she was saying was all the coke talking. She’s in defense mode. She thinks she can have whatever she wants, and when she can’t, she goes on the defense. I’ve been there. She won’t remember most of what she said to any of us.”
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