by Frankie Love
“Shh, it’s okay, girl,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.
“I don’t know how you live here, if there are bears so close.”
“Of course there are bears. It’s the woods, Everly.”
“I know,” she says, sniffling, her breath ragged and rocky. “But it’s so scary. I could never feel safe here. What if—what if the bear had attacked me? Or worse, what if he’d attacked you? I’d be stuck there, watching you die, all alone. Silas, I can’t take care of you if there’s a crisis, an emergency. What if—”
“Baby, there are always what-ifs. But nothing happened.” I try to soothe her worry, but damn, it’s not working.
“Nothing terrible happened today,” she says. “But next time it could. Silas, I can’t fly a plane or work the damn radio.”
Part of me hears her worry and feels shitty; the other part holds a sliver of hope as I listen to her cry. She’s saying words that sound like she doesn’t want to leave me.
It’s about motherfucking time she comes around. No way in hell am I letting her go. And now it sounds like she doesn’t want to let me go, either.
“You can learn how to work a radio, Everly. I can teach you to shoot a gun.”
“And what about children?” she cries, pulling out of my arms. “Pretend I stayed, and we had a baby…. Silas, there are no doctors here. Who would deliver our children? How would it even work? There are no schools this far out.”
I run my hands over her face. “I don’t have all the answers, but people do it. They’ve been doing it since the beginning of time.”
“I thought the biggest issue about living here would be the isolation. But that’s not it, Silas,” she says, shaking her head aggressively, as new information dawns on her all at once. “The real issue about being here in the woods with you isn’t the fact that we’re here all alone; it’s the fact that it’s dangerous.”
“I’ll protect you,” I tell her, fiercely.
“We both know you can’t always be there for me. And I know I can’t protect you.”
“We can protect each other. It’s a partnership.”
“I don’t know, Silas. It feels like so much pressure. I don’t want to mess up and lose you.”
My jaw is tense as I watch this gorgeous woman think this through.
“Sounds an awful lot like you want to stay.”
“With you?” she asks, wiping her tears. “If that was the only factor, then yes. I’m falling for you, so hard. And I know you’re falling for me … and that’s just icing on the cake considering we’re already married.”
“But?”
“But it isn’t the only thing to think about. That bear could have killed me.”
“There are a million ways to die, Everly,” I tell her.
“But Silas,” she whispers, pressing her hand to my heart. “There are also a million ways to live.”
Later, we lie in bed, and I hold Everly in my arms. She’s finally starting to calm down, but the bear encounter rocked her world. I can’t help but pull her closer, not wanting anything bad to happen to her under my watch.
“I don’t want to leave, Silas,” she whispers, her hands holding mine at her waist. “But I’m scared to stay.”
I kiss her neck, wanting to erase all her fears, but not knowing how to do that. Even if I got her a gun and taught her how to shoot, that won’t eliminate some of her concerns. She’s right about delivering babies out here, raising kids in the woods. I never thought that far out when I moved here. I only wanted to take my money and leave the bullshit behind.
But as my cock presses against Everly, growing just from the nearness of her warm body, I can see how her being here changes everything.
She pulls down her panties and reaches behind her, taking hold of my cock.
“You’re the only thing that makes sense right now, Silas,” she murmurs. “You alone.”
She strokes me, and I guide myself into her opening. She spreads her legs, letting me take her as she’s cradled in my arms. I thrust into her, softly, and her slick pussy welcomes my hardness.
“Girl, you are speaking my mind.” My hands take hold of her round tits, squeezing them as I take her deeper, her ass grinding against me as I do.
I lower a hand to her bare pussy, circling her soft folds as I pound into her from behind.
“Oh, just like that, Silas,” she moans, her body arching as I hit her deeply, her pussy pouring her sweet juice over my hand as my cock fills her. I take her harder, realizing that this is the only way to release our pent-up adrenaline from earlier.
We come, both of us breathless as we rock in unison.
We come, neither of us knowing where we go from here.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Everly
In the morning, the bed is empty, and a deep chill has settled over the cabin. Realizing we could use a fire, I kneel before the wood fireplace and open it.
It’s empty, so I take a few small logs and fill it, adding crumpled paper as kindling to the pile. Striking a match, I try to light a log. When it extinguishes right away, I try again, and again, before finally getting smart and focusing on the kindling.
Once the fire is started, I look to see if Silas made any coffee. I am amazed I slept though him waking this morning, but the long daylight hours have messed with my internal clock.
I smile, seeing that he did indeed leave me some coffee. I quickly pour a mug for myself and then step outside to see if he is close by.
Guessing he’s down by the lake, I figure I’ll go say hello before coming back inside and making some breakfast for us.
He’s on the dock, fishing just like yesterday, and I suppress a grin as I take in his backside, his firm ass, and his broad shoulders. I remember the way his arms held me last night, consoled me after the encounter and then claimed me as his own as we made love.
Love.
Is that what’s developing here?
Blinking at the truth, I know it is.
“Silas?”
He turns, a soft smile playing across his bearded face, and it makes my heart flutter. He stands beside his boat, and for the first time I see the name written across the side of it.
Everly.
“Your boat’s name is Everly?” I ask.
He shrugs. Damn, he’s sexy.
“It was my mother’s maiden name, which made it all feel a little bit like destiny when you showed up at the airport.”
I step toward him, wondering what Monique knew that I didn’t. Because she may have sent me to a man in the woods, but she delivered me to the man of my heart.
Silas’s eyes aren’t on mine, though. They look past me.
“Do you smell that?” he asks.
Sniffing the air, I notice a burning smell. “Yeah, I do.” I turn in a circle, following his gaze.
“What the fuck?” he mutters. “I think the cabin’s on fire.” He runs toward it, and I follow him.
“Motherfucker,” he shouts as we reach the porch. Smoke billows from the open screen door, and we see orange flames flickering inside.
“Turn on the hose,” he shouts.
I jump into action, knowing there’s no alternative. The hose is hooked up to the spigot that runs from the lake, and it’s a few dozen feet from the cabin. Turning it on, I run the hose to him, and see he’s busting in the windows, letting the smoke out.
Covering his face with his shirt, he takes the hose and runs into the cabin.
“Silas, be careful,” I scream. Feeling helpless, I grab buckets from his fishing gear on the porch, and run to the lake, filling them.
I drop them on the porch; Silas comes out, grabs them and returns to dousing the flames.
I watch, feeling helpless, and my stomach turns, knowing my fire must have started this.
He comes out, the hose in hand, water spraying everywhere as he reaches for me. His face is covered in soot and his hands are rough and his eyes are ablaze. I’m scared he’s going to scream, and cast blame where it belongs.
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br /> He grabs me hard, pulls me close. His solid body covers me with his strength, his grip, and his fierce hold not letting me move a single inch. He looks down at me, his jaw tense.
“We need to go,” he says. “The cabin is ruined. We can’t stay here.”
“Silas….” I start, but my voice fades, because I don’t know what to say.
“None of our things are salvageable. It’s destroyed. All your books. Everything.”
“Silas, I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. It’s all my fault.”
He pulls back, swallowing whatever may have been at the surface. Holding the hose, he returns to the cabin, and I follow at his heels, covering my face with my shirt. It’s hard to breathe, the air is thick. And he’s right, everything is damaged.
I’m such a fucking fool.
There is nothing here that we can save. My books line the shelves, ruined with smoke and fire and water.
Ruined because I don’t know how to hack it here, and I destroyed everything either of us owned in the process. What was I thinking? I haven’t started a fire since I was a preteen. And then it was around a campsite, with adults taking the lead.
“The door to the wood stove was open. I’m guessing it was overstuffed with kindling. Paper or sticks must have fallen out as the fire grew, caught on kindling left on the floor, and picked up steam real quick.”
I swallow, knowing he’s right. I wanted a fire, and then I got distracted by coffee, and then I just walked out the door. Like an absolute idiot.
Silas, a man who knows his way around the wilderness, would never want to tame a foolish girl like me.
“We should go when I finish this. There’s no use staying here.” Silas stands in his wrecked home, spraying it down with the hose.
I walk out of the singed shack, wondering: if we aren’t staying, where do we go?
He doesn’t look at me with eyes full of longing. All he must see is a girl who destroyed his life. A mail order bride who showed up here and set fire to every last thing he loved.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Silas
Taking off in my plane, Everly by my side, I’m drained. This was not the fucking plan.
Hosing down my home, I felt relief that the fire hadn’t stretched out the front door of the cabin, and reached the woods—but, shit, it did enough damage.
She’s not talking, just crying, and I swear to God Everly’s spent more time shedding tears than anything else since she arrived in Alaska.
Well, she’s shed her panties plenty of times, too.
Still, this isn’t funny. The shy, insecure, but funny girl I met a week ago is long gone. What’s left is this woman, torn up and broken down, all because she met me.
Fuck it.
I need to get to Anchorage, and I need to speak to my lawyer. Make a new plan for my goddamn life.
After we land, we go to Target and get a shopping cart full of necessities: food, and some changes of clothes. Nothing about it is lighthearted; we’re both all too aware of what these purchases represent. What they mean we’ve lost.
Everything.
We check into a hotel, both looking like train wrecks in dirty clothes, in need of a shower, and starving. I want to pull Everly close but I don’t know how. She’s finally stopped crying, but she won’t meet my eyes, won’t say a word. We’re back where we started.
After showering, I dress and stand at the door, keys in hand. I tell her I’ll be back soon.
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asks. She’s sitting on the bed, undressed, with a towel wrapped around her. She looks small and scared, and she needs to rest.
“Just stay here, I got some shit to take care of.”
“Are you going to get an annulment?” she asks, her voice scratchy and desperate.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I don’t know if you can forgive me.” She shakes her head, her chin quivering with the threat of tears. “I don’t know if you hate me.”
Fuck. I take three long strides and pull her to stand. Her towel drops, and I don’t fucking care.
I can’t leave this room with my wife thinking I’m leaving her.
“Listen to me, Everly.” My heart sears and my veins course, filled with passion and filled with pain. I hate seeing her like this, and I hate that I’m the one who pushed her to her breaking point. The moment she told me she wasn’t cut out for the wilderness, I should have put her on that plane and taken her somewhere she wanted to be.
Because, dammit, I may love living in the wild, but it’s nothing compared to the adrenaline rush of having her next to me.
“Thank God,” I tell her, holding her face with my hands. “Thank God nothing happened to you in that fire.”
She seems to melt, then and there, in my arms, and I’m glad I’m the one holding her, because I swear I will never let her go. Her eyes are glassy with tears and my heart is spilling over with love for her.
“Silas, I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. It’s all my fault,” she sobs.
“I won’t lose you, Everly,” I say, pulling her lips to mine. Promising things with my mouth—promises I know, deep in my core, I will keep. I kiss her hard, and good, and then I tell her my deepest truth: “I love you, Everly.”
She pulls away, looking at me with surprise. Without saying a word.
I’ve left her speechless, and that’s okay. She’ll come around.
“I mean it,” I tell her. “And I have shit to do, but I’ll be back. I’ll be back for you.”
I leave the hotel, getting in my Land Cruiser, headed straight for my lawyer’s office. I don’t want an annulment, but shit, I have some business I need to work out before I return to Everly.
She may not know if she loves me, but I’m going to show her she has no reason to leave.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Everly
I go to the front desk and ask to use the computer in the lobby. After logging in, I search for Monique’s website, Modern Mail Order Brides, and place a call to her office. It sucks losing my phone, my computer, my everything—but I can’t complain about things like that right now.
Right now, I’m just grateful that Silas and I are alive.
There’s no answer, and I try to hold myself together as I leave a voicemail.
“Um, Monique, it’s Everly Matters. Er, I mean, Everly Sutton. I’m calling because there’s been a fire. Everything Silas and I owned was lost. And besides that, I have a few concerns with what you promised me here.” I leave her the details of the hotel and my room number, and hang up.
I scroll around her website looking for clues as to whether or not the whole thing was a sham, but every testimonial on the site talks about CEOs and millionaires, and not one of them mentions a crappy shack in the middle of the woods.
Not that Silas’s home is the reason I’m hesitating on this marriage. He has proved himself to be the most amazing man, a man who commits, and a man who loves and fights and doesn’t give up.
Silas is the sort of man I would have chosen for myself, but I didn’t have to choose him. Monique helped us find one another.
The reason I’m hesitating is because his land is so isolated and that scares me. What if the fire had been worse today and he needed me to save him? I couldn’t have gotten him to safety. I couldn’t have saved his life.
Knowing Amelia’s phone number by heart, I call it, hoping she’ll answer. She doesn’t, and neither does Delta.
Trudging back to my hotel room, I fall on the bed, deciding what I should do.
Silas said he loved me. And, deep down, I know my feelings for him aren’t flighty. They’re real.
The phone rings. I answer it. “Hello?”
“Everly?” a woman’s voice asks. “This is Monique. I heard your message; I can’t believe what you’ve been through, dear.”
“Well, we’re alive. We flew into Anchorage, and thankfully Silas was able to stop the fire from spreading. But his place is completely charred.”
&nbs
p; “Sounds like your mountain man saved you.”
I can feel her warmth though the phone and it annoys me. “Speaking of mountain man … Monique, you told me that your clients were loaded. That was one of the selling points of your entire offer. But Silas is not that guy. You should see his house.”
“I understand things can be difficult at first when you’re a mail order bride, but the good news is that I was right to match you up. Your desire to be a writer somewhere serene, coupled with your inexperience, compliments Silas and his easy going attitude. He can talk to just about anyone, sweetie, and you said you always jumbled up your words.”
“I suppose. Silas is really easy to—”
“Listen, I’m sorry about the fire, and it’s been good catching up, but I have a meeting to attend.”
Before I can say anything more, she hangs up.
Looking at the phone in my hand, it’s impossible not to feel mildly offended. My willingness to play along as her mail order bride is the reason she has business at all.
I hang up, missing my friends and annoyed with Monique, but mostly wishing Silas were back here, so I could tell him what Monique said about our compatibility. I wondered how she thought he and I would be a good pair—but the way she put it, so concise, made sense.
Silas and I are a good pair. Sure, I don’t have much to offer him in the way of survival skills, but I can learn. And sure, maybe he doesn’t have the money I originally thought my husband had, but I’ve never cared that much for money anyway. It makes me proud of Silas, knowing he works the land and provides for himself, that he wants to provide for me.
I stand up, and look through the Target bags. When I was getting myself bras and underwear, I grabbed something I thought he might think was sexy. It felt like a strange, last-ditch purchase, but in my heart I knew he would like to see me in the skimpy lingerie.
I want him to see me in it.
And more than that, I know I just plain wanted him. He’s the man for me—heck, he’s already my husband. He’s been all of my firsts.
And he’s forgiven me in ways I still need to forgive myself.