by Iris Parker
"Okay," I said at last, my heart pounding in my ears. "I'll do it."
Dominick
A small orange leaf spiraled down past the window, sinking towards the ground to join its fallen companions. Maybe there was poetry there, but all I saw was confirmation of what I already knew.
What had been the best summer of my life was now over, leading straight into a miserable fall. And a miserable winter, a miserable spring…a miserable life, really. Now that I knew what I was missing, there was no way I could go back to the way things used to be.
All that was left for me was bitter coffee and loneliness.
At least I still had my integrity. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but Helena and Ali would be safe now. They'd gotten along for over a decade without me, and only knew me for a few months. By this time next year everything will be back to normal for them, and they'll have forgotten all about me.
They would be free.
I was doing the right thing, wasn't I?
Nothing worth doing was ever easy, and running back to Helena would've been the easiest thing in the world.
I sighed, hoping Alton didn't hear me this time. I'd put the poor guy through the wringer with this, and I knew that even friendship had its limits. He'd already bailed a couple days ago. It served me right, I supposed. To be honest, I liked it a lot better that way. Alton meant well, but I couldn't stomach his forced upbeat attitude or the obvious concern on his face when it failed. He just didn't get it.
I guess he didn't know what it was like to lose a family.
Ironic.
"Hey buddy," Alton called out from the kitchen, and pinched the ridge of my nose between my thumb and finger. I wanted to sigh again, but then he'd just hear again and we'd go around and around, making it worse with every second.
Spiraling down towards the ground.
But there was no ground to catch me, not anymore.
"I'm going to bed," I said, not caring that it was still early evening.
"No!" Alton blurted out suddenly. "I mean, I'm making coffee. I thought you'd like to have some."
"Is that a joke?" I snapped back. I already had at least three mugs of the stuff sitting on the window, and I certainly didn't need another.
"Fresh coffee, Dom," Alton said, ignoring the annoyance in my voice. "If you're going to drink it, you might as well enjoy it."
I loved Alton like a brother, but it was painfully obvious he had no idea what he was dealing with here.
"Fine," I muttered, slamming back one the contents of my current mug as Alton brought two new ones out. Sitting on the couch, he called me over to him.
I stared at him blankly.
"There's something on TV I want to show you," Alton said, checking his watch. "It's almost on."
"I don't feel like watching TV," I said.
"I'll leave you alone all day tomorrow if you come watch this tonight," Alton offered.
I couldn't really blame him for finding excuses to bail on me. Alton had spent his entire adulthood running from misery, living the life of a carefree bachelor. There was no question that my brooding was dragging him down.
But I shook my head anyway.
"Do you really think this is what Helena would want, Dom? To watch you turning into an empty shell? Is that what's best for your family?" He asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.
How fucking dare he.
"I told you not to mention them," I said, biting back the rage that had already replaced my numbness. He had no right to use them against me, no right to act superior when he couldn't begin to understand how hard this—
"You're not helping her. She's worried sick. And so am I."
"You talked to her?" I said, realizing that I was going to have one less friend by the time this conversation was through. "You talked to her?"
"Your cowardly ass tried to get me to break up with her by proxy. What did you think was going to happen? Of course I talked to her!"
"Cowardly? You have no idea what it's like to lose—"
"I lost Nicole," Alton whispered, and the pain in his voice was enough to quiet my fury almost as quickly as it had begun.
"That…that's different," I said, feeling like I'd gone too far.
"No, it's not. And you think I don't recognize a self-destructive rampage when I see one? I've got you beat by years, buddy. Now get your ass over here, aim those mismatched eyes at the TV, and shut the hell up."
I don't know why I listened. Maybe it was because I didn't have the energy to fight, or maybe it was because Alton hadn't said that name in over a decade. Perhaps I just desperately wanted a way out of this, a way to fix everything.
Or maybe—just maybe—Alton knew something I didn't.
Whatever the reason, I moved over to the TV and watched.
Dominick
"It was the only way to fix this whole mess, Dom," Alton explained as my eyes scanned the giant TV screen in a panic.
Helena in high definition.
Under the spotlight.
On television.
"Why would she do that!?" I asked, shaken to my very core. If Helena was talking to the media herself, what the hell had I destroyed my life over? They would never leave her alone now; no matter what, she'd always be the mother of Dominick Henderson's children.
"Why? Because she's in love with you, dumbass," Alton said casually.
Did I want to punch him or hug him? I couldn't decide.
"How?" I asked.
"Enough with the questions, or you're going to miss it," Alton said as the commercials ended and the interview began in earnest.
I'd have to decide on whether I should murder Alton or build a statue in his honor later, it seemed, because he was right.
There was no way I was going to miss this.
And I didn't. For the next hour I sat and watched in rapt attention, hearing the details of my summer—my life—repeated back to me in full. Helena held nothing back, beginning from the day Ali tracked me down right to my accident. In the middle, she spoke about our feelings for one another, the way we'd tried to resist and couldn't. How much it hurt her to hide the pregnancy from me, the way she felt trapped by her split-second decision to not tell me as soon as we met.
She teared up when she spoke of her feelings for me as a lover and father for our children.
So did I.
It was surreal to hear all these things repeated back so matter-of-factly, giving me a perspective I'd never considered before. It's easy to make dumb mistakes when you're living the events as they happen, but so much easier to notice them when you hear someone describe what was going on.
I'd made so many dumb mistakes.
And then the interview moved on to the accident, and Helena described the terror she'd felt that day. She told them everything, even the part about how I'd saved Ali by throwing myself in front of the car.
So many dumb mistakes, I thought, desperately wishing I could go back and somehow fix this. The interviewer agreed with me, describing my act with exactly the right word.
Unforgivable.
But Helena wasn't deterred. She fought back, arguing with a ferocity that I'd hardly known she was capable of. Somehow, she knew—we hadn't spoken in a week, but she knew—that I'd only been trying to protect our family.
And she didn't even consider that something that needed to be forgiven.
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Alton was right. She really did love me. And I loved her just as much. I felt dizzy and elated and sick all at once, infinitely grateful for Helena's patience and understanding.
I couldn't afford to waste any more time watching how the interview ended—not when I still needed to find out how the story ended.
Besides, every second I sat in front of Alton's television was one more intolerable second where I wasn't with Helena. It was already going to be a long drive back to Boston, but if I left right away I'd be back that much sooner.
Yeah, I needed to leave.
Now.
I grabbed Alton's keys.
"Sure you can borrow my car," Alton called dryly from the couch. "But—"
There was no time for buts. I yanked the door open, already prepared to drive as long as it took to bring me back to Helena.
But I didn't have to.
The door swung wide, and standing on the porch was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life.
Helena
My watch's alarm went off, letting me know that the interview would be over soon. The gnawing fear that had been threatening to consume me intensified, a feeling of butterflies in my stomach like nothing else I'd experienced.
Soon, I would have my answer.
Soon, it was all going to come down to this.
I'd tried my best to distract myself, admiring the scenery and watching the leaves as they fell in gorgeous autumn colors. It'd worked for a while, but the alarm had brought me back to reality.
Alton had assured me that we were doing the right thing. That Dominick felt guilty, that he needed something to snap him out of the funk and bring him back to life. I desperately hoped he was right, because the alternative was too terrible to consider.
Particularly now that I'd stomped on all of Dominick's boundaries, going behind his back to talk to the media…yikes. That kind of stunt was far beyond anything I'd normally consider, but what choice did I have?
But it didn't really matter, I knew, as I watched the seconds tick down on my watch. The entire experience had been harrowing, but deep down I'd been proud the whole time. Proud as I explained that Dominick was my man, the father of my children, and prouder still when I pushed back against the interviewer's judgmental comments. I usually avoided conflict, but defending Dominick's name had come naturally. The fire of our love was still burning deep inside of me, reminding me of everything Dominick and I had been building. Our life together, the happiness we'd had. I wanted that back, and I knew that deep down Dominick did too.
And so I'd fought.
And I would keep fighting, if need be.
The door sprung open unexpectedly, still minutes before the end of the interview. Suddenly, I got my first real view of Dominick since the accident, and immediately the breath was missing from my lungs. I'd spent hours by his side while he was sleeping in the hospital, but this was the first time he could actually look back at me.
It felt marvelous.
And very, very intimidating.
I stood motionless at the threshold of the house, unable to take another step.
"Helena," he whispered, his voice so hoarse that I barely recognized it. It sounded so raw that it took me by surprise, wiping my mind blank of all the grand speeches I'd mentally rehearsed as I stood outside waiting for the interview to end.
"Hi," was all I could manage.
Dominick's smile was like warmth being massaged back into my limbs on a cold day. "It's so good to see you awake," I continued, noting the way that he seemed just a bit thinner and more gaunt. My heart ached at the sight, and I hoped that I'd get the opportunity to nurse him back to health.
"Not half as good as it is to see you again. I could bet the Stanley Cup on that," Dominick answered, his eyes trailing between my face and my belly. I blushed, placing a hand over my stomach and waited.
"Come on in, Helena," Alton's voice called even as the man himself discretely bowed out of the room.
I took a step forward, closer to Dominick, my heart pounding like crazy.
"Dominick, I—" I began, but I had no idea what to say. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I fought the urge to do what I really wanted, to foolishly rush straight into Dominick's arms without saying another word. "I've—I've been so afraid. When I heard how bad the accident was, I was so scared you'd leave us, and—"
I didn't need to rush over to Dominick, because he came to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and I found strength there. Suddenly, all the words that had been trapped inside of me came rushing out at once, everything I really wanted to say.
"I always thought I was happy, but I wasn't. Not really. I was just surviving, and that's all I ever did for my entire life. But then I met you, and you rang my doorbell that day and changed everything. I finally understood what happiness was, and you gave that to me. You're the light of my life, Dominick. Alton says you think I want you gone, I don't—I want you back. More than anything else in this world, I want you back. I love you like I never thought I could love a man," I babbled into his chest, tears streaming down my face and onto Dominick's shirt.
I looked up at his handsome face, and saw the relief in his eyes. But it was tinged with uncertainty, a mix of wanting and needing and doubt. I stroked his cheeks with my fingers, hoping to reassure him as he'd silently reassured me, and ventured to place a chaste kiss on his lips.
"Hey," he whispered as our lips parted and he gently took my chin in his hand. "Thank you. But I don't deserve you, not really."
"What are you even talking about?" I asked. "Of course you do. You make me happy, and Ali too. That's not even a question."
"Maybe I make you happy, but you said it yourself. You were surviving without me. You deserve both, to be happy and to survive. You've known me a few months and I've already destroyed your old life. And because of me, Ali almost—she almost—she—"
"Ali is fine, Dominick, and that is thanks to you. I don't know what kind of bar you've set for yourself, but you threw yourself in front of a car to save her life. No one could ask for a better father. She's fine, and she misses you."
Dominick's beautiful mismatched eyes were wide and shimmering as my words sunk in, and I knew he was very close to accepting the truth. When his next argument came, I was ready.
"But—" he began, but that's as far as he got.
"Oh, shut up," I interrupted, letting my mouth crash into his as I silenced both of us. My arms wrapped around his back and I felt him shudder as he finally let the last of his self-doubt go. Our mutual fears evaporated as Dominick kissed me back, and I knew deep down that everything was going to be all right.
Our relationship had survived and we were happy.
Again.
Now.
And forever.
Epilogue
Alton
"Dominick Henderson! The elusive man of the hour, here at last," the journalist called in an enthusiastic voice, striding towards Dom with a microphone in hand. "Our viewers are dying to get some good news, and we've gotten hundreds of emails and tweets about you. Tell me, what's life been like for you since the accident? How is your recovery going? How is family life treating you?"
Alton shook his head slightly, recognizing that his friend was going to be trapped with the woman for some time—but that was no surprise, of course. It was all part of the publicity game they'd agreed to play when they signed on for the team, and the annual Bruins charity dinner was certainly no exception. Since it was all for a good cause, everyone was under the spotlight tonight. Players, coaches, executives, even random arm candy and family were all sure to at least get their pictures taken.
Not that Alton needed to worry about that. He had surprised exactly no one when he showed up on his own, without any family members to accost or dates to harass. It was much better that way. Attending an event like this alone just meant that he had the freedom to leave with whomever he wanted, should someone catch his eye.
Being chased by reporters wasn't half bad, as long as you were an eligible bachelor like Alton.
On the other hand, Dominick and Helena's strategy was working well for them. Unwilling to live their lives under a microscope, they were slowly but surely defusing Dominick's popularity. They appeared on camera often enough that no reporters came looking, but the appearances were measured and short, staid enough that the occasional interview did little to reignite public interest in their life together.
Of course, the birth of the baby would probably push them both back into the limelight for a bit. But on the whole, Dominick's star was falling—and that was exac
tly what they wanted.
"It's going well, thank you," Dominick told the reporter, and Alton had to resist laughing. It was a lie that wouldn't have fooled a child. Dominick wasn't just well, he was downright happy. From the gleam in his eyes to the adoring glances that constantly shot back and forth between him and Helena, it was obvious to everyone that domestic life suited the new couple perfectly. They were brilliant together, and one word sprung to Alton's mind when he looked at them.
Settled.
Alton never would've thought that he'd see the day Dominick Henderson was happy to settle down, but that day had clearly arrived. Even Alton had to admit that marriage—well, if you can call eloping in a tiny Upstate New York courthouse with an excited preteen in tow, marriage—had been the best decision for his friend. The fact that it had happened at all was surprising enough, but it had happened so fast….
Maybe some people really are just made for each other, Alton thought, goose bumps forming on his skin as a sinking feeling of something settled in his heart. Good for them.
Of course, the writing had been on the wall for some time. Alton remembered his escape from the farmhouse the night of the interview, when the couple had reunited in the most dramatic way possible. Alton was glad that he'd gotten the chance to help, and love wasn't supposed to be contagious, but why take the chance? He'd bolted as fast as his car could take him, getting well away from the danger zone and leaving the lovebirds to their privacy.
Which they'd put to good use, if the speed of Dominick's rehabilitation was any indication. Helena had certainly put a healthy glow back in Dominick's cheeks, and the two had even documented their mini-vacation via texts and the occasional picture sent to him. Swimming at the lake, grilling meat on the barbecue, sipping root beer on the porch—they had looked positively radiant, living life to its fullest as Dominick rapidly recovered from the accident.
They looked so damn happy together. Alton still couldn't figure it out, but at least his friend seemed to be in good hands. He'd need to take a little time to get to know Helena properly, since it seemed like she was going to stick around for a while.