“It doesn’t mean anything. Not anymore.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
He put his arm around Sarah, “Let’s get you back to town.”
They walked back to the wall of vines and found a way through. He helped her into the Viper and got behind the wheel.
His leg was tender, but not immovable. Working the clutch was going to be painful, but he was confident that he could make it back to New Hope.
He turned the engine over and moved back up Main.
“Thank you,” Sarah stared up at the buildings as they passed. “Thank you for saving me.”
Jerry was quiet. The pain in his leg was worse than he first thought.
“Why did you do it? Why did you come back to the town? Why stop the truck? You don’t owe us anything.”
“Well, I …” Jerry slammed on the brakes. The Viper screeched to a stop, the wide tires grabbing the pavement.
They had moved out in front of the car and blocked the street. There were hundreds of them. The featureless plants stood in the middle of the road and swayed as if blown by the wind.
He jammed the car in reverse and looked over his shoulder. They were there too. Quietly, they had surrounded the couple.
The silence suddenly broke. The creatures began to shriek. The horrible chorus sounded like a thousand people blowing on reeds of grass. The volume grew as more creatures filed in behind those that blocked the road.
Jerry looked around for a path. He looked for an alley, a parking garage, a lobby window to crash through. Anything. But there was no escape. There was no way out.
Unlike the Silver Lining, the Viper was stock. There were no defenses: no flames, no guns, nothing.
The creatures began to advance slowly, never really stepping forward, but leapfrogging one another. The wall of plant life came closer and closer with every shriek.
Their wailing reached a fevered pitch, the tone changing only slightly. He couldn’t tell if they were getting closer, or if it was in the way they swayed, but their horrendous voices seemed to develop a rhythm. A beat formed. The pattern grew more dominant and he thought he recognized the rhythm.
The advance stopped. The creatures’ shrieks changed. It seemed to go from frenzy to panic. Still, the beat continued.
He saw it first in the group in front of him. The creatures began to scatter—a few at first, followed by hundreds. They moved in waves from the back of the group to those closest to the car.
The beat grew louder, the rhythm evident and Jerry began to sing along to the chorus of Ring of Fire.
The blue, white, and charred pickup rolled slowly through the fleeing throng of monsters. Erica and the three boys rode in the bed. Carl sat behind the wheel. The mayor rode shotgun holding a loudspeaker out the window. Johnny Cash sang to the simple-minded creatures.
By the time the pickup reached the couple in the Viper, the horde was gone, their shrieking faded into the windows of the office buildings.
Sarah shot from her seat and ran to embrace her father.
Jerry stood from his seat and limped toward the truck. Erica rushed to him and held him tight.
“How many women do you intend to save in a week?”
“I think I’m done for a while.” He pointed to the wound.
She put his arm over her shoulder and helped support his weight. “It looks like I get to save you now.”
Jerry smiled and pointed to the truck. She helped him to it.
“Hey, Carl.” Jerry rapped on the hood of the car.
“Boy, you fellas weren’t easy to keep up with. If it wasn’t for those pillars of smoke we may never have caught you.”
“I’m glad you did. I owe you one.”
“Seeing how you saved my town and everyone I hold dear, we’ll call it even.”
“Still, I have a favor to ask you.”
“Anything.”
Jerry held up the keys to the Viper, “Can you drive a stick?”
“That’s what she said.” Carl laughed and slapped Jerry on the shoulder.
“Don’t do that, Carl. Never again, understand?”
Carl nodded.
Jerry pointed to the car. “Can you drive her back for me?”
Carl didn’t say a word. He simply smiled and snagged the keys from Jerry’s hand. He was almost in the driver’s seat when Jerry added, “I’m going to want it back, but there’s a Mustang at the end of Main you can have.”
The mayor helped Erica put Jerry in the truck’s passenger seat.
The three boys trampled each other trying to ride shotgun in the Dodge. Austin won and jumped over the door into the seat. He looked odd sitting there in his bear costume, but Jerry could almost see him smile through the mask.
Erica moved into the seat beside Jerry. The mayor took the wheel and they rolled out of the city blasting Johnny Cash music the entire way.
At the Dallas city limits, Alex had them stop at the city’s welcome sign. He pulled a can of spray paint from the truck and added to the green and white sign so it read, “Welcome to Dallas, must have Cash.”
Jerry pondered the new sign and laughed, “I guess some things don’t change.”
They caught the road heading east as the sun began to set. Jerry watched it in the mirror as it touched the horizon and began a quick descent.
“Hmm.”
Erica heard his mild musing and asked what he was thinking about.
“The sunset is behind me. And I’m okay with that.”
- END -
More about me:
I was born in Canada; I grew up in Texas. In between, I’ve had a thousand fascinations. Little things. Trivial things. Almost anything can catch my imagination and spur on a thought—a random article on Wikipedia can cost me hours of a day as I link from page to page. Mix this active imagination with poor time management skills and you get me.
I have more ideas for stories than I have time to tell. But, I’m trying; I write in the wee hours, the downtime hours, and the many hours when I should be sleeping. One day I hope to write in the daylight hours. Maybe then I’ll be able to stay a step ahead of my imagination.
Until then, I’ll do my best to write books worth reading with jokes worth laughing at as fast as I can. The serious stuff is being taken care of by a world full of great writers. I don’t want to shock you or change your mind. I don’t even care if it makes you think. I just want you to squirt that drink out your nose.
Hope it’s not carbonated.
That tends to sting.
Please visit my author page here.
Check out my other books at amazon.com:
Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store (A Short Story)
Laugh-out-loud funny!
“Warning: Do not read this book anywhere where silence is necessary. This is a laugh-out-loud book. My three-year-old was sleeping beside me while I read it and I had to hold my hand over my mouth all the way through to keep from waking him up. The whole thing is hilarious! Good thing it’s a short story or I might have strained something trying to be quiet. I’ll be better prepared when I read Tortugas Rising and Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors (A Duck & Cover Adventure).”
Hurting (her)self only a little…
“Yes, I hurt myself laughing at the desperate antics of a dumb white husband who just wants to watch the game. Until now, I didn’t realize it was possible to create edge-of-the seat suspense from such a seemingly simple goal. Buy it. Enjoy. It’s hard to find entertainment like this for under a buck.”
The truth is painful(ly funny)
“Have you been following me, Mr. Wallace? Is it possible you’ve been spying on me!?!?! The opening page of Dumb White Husband leads one to believe that this is a fictional work, but I know better. Your observations are spot on. I laughed my ass off. Can’t wait for the next installment.”
Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween (A Short Story)
Great short story. As a Dumb White Husband I approve.
“I had been looking forward to this short story since
I heard the title on Twitter. I finished reading Ben’s other story, Dumb White Husband vs Grocery Store, and could not imagine how he could top that. The more and more I read, the more I laughed. I chose to read this story in the middle of my lunch break and the people around me must have thought I had lost my mind as I was laughing so much. I could see the story being played out. I do not want to spoil it, but I have never been looking to forward to Halloween so much in my life. Ben, I could see this being an every holiday event. What would the Dumb White Husband do to top this…is that Santa I see in his future……please say yes.”
Tortugas Rising
A class unto itself
“Yet again Wallace has proven that he is the master of the irreverent action packed novel! His protagonists are just 2 regular Joes put into a scenario that defies explanation and rise to the occasion, all the while providing some genuine belly laughs. I defy any one not to crack up during the Rhino scene! With all that being said he also paces the story and keeps the dialog and action moving at a frantic pace. I literally read this book in one setting, it was that gripping. Is it War and Peace? No but for what it is it is definitely a standout in his genre (I dare you to define it!) I look forward to more!”
A page turner
“Not really, as there are no pages but I think I sprained my thumb from moving ahead on my kindle. Seriously, it was hard to put down. If you are looking for an action packed story with humor, this is it.”
“Just plain fun!”
You can find me online here:
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-ben-
Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors Page 19