She’s still here, Jay. Don’t worry.
Evie hadn’t said anything to either of us since the kiss. She just tapped her left foot over and over and checked her watch. Any fool could sense that a violent storm was coming soon, and I wasn’t exactly sure that I wouldn’t be harmed in the process. My stomach was twisted in knots of worry the rest of the night.
Could this be the day when everything is all over?
The plan had been to go celebrate in clubs all over the city after the event, but when we climbed into the taxi, Evie gave the driver our hotel address. No one countered it, not even Jay who held his trophy in his arms. Business cards had been stuffed his pockets, most from agents and the rest from publicists who believed he would need some media cleaning up soon. All three of our phones rang over and over. None of us had the courage to pick up.
They’re probably just calling to congratulate Jay, but regardless, they’ll most likely ask about the kisses.
Once we arrived at the hotel, Evie yanked those heels off, jumped out of the cab, stormed through the lobby, tapped her bare foot on the elevator in a furious motion, and burst through the door of our room.
Jay stopped me from going in. “You don’t have to deal with this. I’m the one who messed up.”
“You didn’t really mess up. You were just too excited and forgot.”
“No.” He tossed me an evil grin. “I meant to kiss her in public like that, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s worth her chewing me out, but you don’t have to be around for the argument.”
“I’m a part of this just like the two of you. I’ll be fine.” I stepped into the room, spotted Evie’s angry expression, and immediately regretted my words. Jay came in, took off his suit jacket, and closed the door behind us.
Maybe I should go downstairs for a while.
“Not only did you embarrass Cynthia and me.” Evie pointed at him. “You ruined your career.”
Jay set his trophy and jacket on the table. “Oh really? What career?”
“Teams want you. I read some article about how you would get loads of offers from companies to sell their brands. Not happening anymore. You kissed two women while cameras were on you, and not friendly little kisses. You devoured our mouths! Really? That’s going to bring up all types of discussion on your morals and character, besides the fact that it made Cynthia look like an idiot girlfriend and me a boyfriend-stealing whore.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “First of all, I’m not even in the draft yet and don’t know if I’m ready for the pros, so slow down.”
“Whatever, Jay.”
He shook his head. “Second of all, it didn’t make either one of you look like idiots or whores. You’re putting all of that into your head yourself.”
“Just stop talking. You think everyone is accepting like you. It’s not true. They judged us all tonight.”
“Evie it’s not like that—”
“And you’re really going to try and say that you don't believe you're ready for the pros? Whatever. Your body is big enough to be a pro quarterback. You won the Heisman. Your career is all in front of you. Instead of being the freaking American boy next door that everyone painted you as, you have an orgy fest at the table in front of thousands of viewers! You make out with Cynthia and then turn right around and slob me down.” Evie slung her shoes on the bed and marched over to her bags.
“I didn’t devour anybody’s mouths or slob either one of you down.” He leaned on the wall.
I seized the opportunity to take my own heels off and get out of my dress. My phone buzzed. I checked it. Five missed calls from Mom.
What does she want? Is she pissed about the kiss too? Did she see it?
“Asshole!” Evie yelled.
“No one will care about some nobody quarterback—”
“You’re not a nobody. You just held a press conference, idiot. Clearly you’re somebody.”
He smiled. “I’ll be nobody by next week and those kisses will be replaced by another scandal from some more significant person.”
“Look at you over there grinning like you’ve accomplished something great. I tell you not to kiss me in front of people and you just do it in front of TV cameras.” She pulled out jeans and a shirt.
“It won’t get any press—”
“Google yourself! Have you ever done that?” she asked.
“No.”
“You have more internet hits than actual pro players, and you threw all of that away to be a big cave man.” She held onto her clothes and did this odd impression of a barbarian, arching her back up, raising her shoulders to her ears, and letting her arms hang out like guerillas arms. “Look. Me Tarzan. You Jane. Me piss on you to tell all the other jungle animals know you mine.”
I shouldn’t have, but I broke out into laughter. Jay glared at me. All I could do was shrug as Evie sashayed those hips past me.
“You’re an asshole! I asked you not to kiss me in public.”
“I asked you to wear my ring. You broke my rule. I get to break yours.” He unbuttoned his shirt, took it off, and also pulled off the thin shirt he’d had on under it. The lamp's light painted his chiseled chest with a lovely glow.
Evie turned around to say something else but stumbled on her words when her gaze hit his body. I knew from watching them fight before that things could go either way. Jay didn't control many things when it came to Evie, but anytime he talked to her when he was half-naked, she tended to be as easy to mold and reshape as soft clay.
She watched him throw his clothes to the side and said nothing else.
“What?” He moved her way, opened the top of his pants, and paused right in front of her. “We should be celebrating out in New York City tonight, but instead I'm arguing with you about a kiss, the same one you moaned through.”
“I didn't moan.”
He closed the small distance between them. “Yes, you did.”
She inched back. “Jay, we should talk.”
“No.”
“No?” She raised her eyebrows. “No, you don't want to talk?”
“No, I don't want to break up.”
The fact that she didn't give him a quick response knocked me right into a pool of unease.
Why did Jay think Evie was breaking up? What would that mean for us, or even more important, Jay and me?
They stood there, staring at each other for several quiet seconds. There was no doubt that Jay would do anything to keep her, and that she would simply demand that he leave me. I gulped down a thick lump of fear. Odd sensations fizzed in my stomach. It was that weird bodily reaction I had right before my anxiety attacks took over.
Was she really that upset with the kiss or had she been planning to leave earlier?
“You're not going to say anything are you?” Jay whispered.
Evie’s phone rang for the tenth time tonight. She darted around Jay and checked her phone on the dresser. “It’s my mom again. Probably trying to figure out the exact location of my ass so that she could put her foot in it.”
“What do you want to talk about, Evie?” Jay didn't face her. Anger glazed over his expression.
She ran her fingers through her hair. “You already said it.”
“You want to break up with Cynthia and me over a damn kiss?”
“No, and it doesn't really matter why. We said this would be temporary.”
“No, you said that.”
“It doesn't matter. This was never going to be a long-term relationship.”
“Why not?”
“Because, it doesn't make sense.”
“You're the only one confused.” He marched off into the bathroom. The door slammed behind him. Evie avoided my gaze and fumbled around in her bag, probably to keep herself busy rather than actually needing anything.
“Evie?” I asked. Questions flooded my head. I would have to grovel and figure out a way to get her back on board with us.
“What Cynthia?”
“It hasn't even been a month or—”
/>
“Please, stop. I just don't want to be a part of this.”
“Why not?”
She seared me with her gaze. “Because I'm tired of sharing. I'm the third wheel.”
She's the third wheel? Is she insane?
I focused on not getting too loud. “That's ridiculous. I'm always giving you two space.”
“Well, now you don't have to do that. You have King Jay all to yourself.” She twirled her hands in the air. “May you revel in his awesomeness!”
“Yeah, right.” I headed over to the bed and plopped myself down close to her. A phone vibrated. It must've been Jay's. The shower sounded from the bathroom. “He'll drop me as soon as you give him your ultimatum.”
“What ultimatum?” Evie asked.
“You'll tell him that he can only be with you, and then where will that leave me?”
“I don't even want to be with him.”
“You're lying.”
“I'm not.” She snatched up a pair of socks and twisted them in her hands. “Any man who can convince me to be in a relationship with him and another woman, is a man I need to avoid. It means he could get me to agree to anything. I'd rather stop this now.”
“Could you just try—”
“I've already tried,” Evie snapped. “Just, stop. Seriously. You're worse than him.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “I'm just trying to find a way for us to all be together.”
“I don't want to be with all of you.”
“Why? You're always laughing when we hang out.”
“That doesn't mean I should be with you both. I laugh with lots of people. Does that mean I should just start marrying the whole bunch? We could go for a whole twisted community, bring the hippy days back.”
“But—”
She held her hands to her forehead and rubbed her temples. “Seriously, Cynthia. You're going to want to stop talking to me now. I'm in a shitty mood, and I'm really tired of trying to convince both of you that this situation is just not for me.”
“I think I'm asexual.” I blurted it out and had no idea if it would help the situation or not. Maybe she figured that I would eventually hook up with Jay and like it, and that somehow it would matter. She hadn't liked the fact that we did things when she was in class, even though I got nothing out of it.
“You're what?”
“Asexual. I've been researching it. There are more people out there like me who don't have any real physical reaction to sex or even care to ever have it in their lives. Some of them are in relationships where it's more like companionship than intimacy.”
“How does your confession relate to me?” Evie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “I mean I'm glad that you think you know what you are, but your being asexual doesn't have anything to do with me wanting to get out of this relationship.”
“I think you feel threatened.”
“Whatever.” She stood up.
Maybe that was a wrong approach.
“Evie, can we just talk about it?”
“I'm going downstairs to see if I can sit at the bar and have some old guy buy me an illegal glass of wine. You enjoy Jay and your asexuality.”
I got up with her and grabbed her arm. “Wait, you owe me an explanation.”
Frowning, she stared at my hand on her. “I don’t owe you anything. You've lost your mind, Cynthia. If you were Jay, I would have punched you in the stomach. Because you're you, and don't know any better, I'll wait a few seconds before punching you.”
I didn't let go. “Jay and I won't have sex anymore.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You were still having sex?”
Fuck muffins. I thought he told her. He didn't say anything?
“Uh.” I tried to say more, but she punched me in my stomach. I mean with no warning at all, she slammed that brick of a fist into my core. Shit! Pain bit at my gut. I doubled over in agony. All those times she'd hit Jay and he groaned, I always thought he was reacting like a baby. Now I knew. Evie boasted a lot of strength in that right arm. Oh my god! I focused on breathing instead of the pain.
“Fuck. I'm sorry.” She seized my arm and helped me to the bed. “I shouldn't have done that. It's just…hearing about you and him hooking up…when the hell did you two do this?”
I dropped down on the bed. “During your student government meetings.”
“Son of a bitch.” She glared at the bathroom door. “Soon as he walks out, I'm punching him dead in his dick.”
I rubbed my stomach. “Why? Did he tell you that we weren't having sex?”
“No, but he could've told me that you were.”
“Don't be mad at him. I always started it.”
“Whatever.”
“I would. Sometimes he would try to stop it because he felt bad, but I would push him to keep going. I wouldn’t let him stop.”
Shaking her head, she glanced at me. “Why?”
“Because.”
“What?”
“Because I didn't want him to ever want to stop being with me.”
Surprisingly, she didn't respond.
“You can take him away with no problem,” I said. “You're his best friend. You have this great chemistry in bed. What do I have?”
“Besides being pretty much guy and girl versions of each other?” She rolled her eyes.
“I knew if I had sex with him too, then I would have a fighting chance when the inevitable moment came, when you got tired of sharing him.” I leaned all the way back on the bed. My stomach didn't scream in pain, but it still ached.
“Why do all this for him?” Evie asked. “What are you getting out of it?”
“As much normalcy as possible. You're as normal as they come. You have a nice mom, a great group of friends who adore you, and a steamy relationship with the guy you loved all your life. I just hope to experience some of it.”
She lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “That's weird.”
“I'm weird.”
“No, you're not. You just think you are.”
Scenes of me making love with, not Jay, but him flashed in my mind. I shoved them away as fast as I could. “Trust me. I'm stranger than you know.”
“Then maybe you're fucking bananas.” A nervous laugh left her lips.
“I am.”
She quit laughing when she noticed the serious look on my face.
“You want to hear something crazy?” I asked.
“Probably not but go ahead.” Sitting up, she placed her elbows on her legs and buried her face into her hands. “It'll buy time for Jay until I knee him as hard as I can, and then I'll head down to the bar and get a dirty old man to buy me two illegal glasses of wine.”
“The first time I had sex I was twelve.”
“And now I'll need a joint.” She rose from the bed. “Cynthia that is horrible, but…twelve?”
I nodded.
She blew out a long breath. “That's fucked up. I don't even think I can handle the details.”
“I didn't plan on telling you the details.”
“Why did you confess that to me then?”
“Because I'm trying to get you to understand me and why I need you to keep trying with us.”
“By making me feel sorry for you?”
“No.” I slowly eased up. “I just. Look…you know exactly who you are and what you want in life.”
“No.” Evie wagged her finger. “I actually have no idea who I am or what I want, besides not being in a relationship with two people, regardless of whether the other woman can have orgasms or not.”
“I've had them, just not with Jay. Do you want to know who I've had orgasms with?”
“Is this going to make me throw up or feel bad for you?”
“Yes.”
She blew out a long breath. “Have you had orgasms with anyone else besides this piece of shit person who would have sex with a child?”
“No.”
“And he was an adult?”
“Yes.”
She fisted he
r hands, and I hoped she wasn't going to punch me again. “Was this bastard a close friend of the family?”
“No.”
“Teacher?”
“No,” I said. “And you don't want to know.”
“Was it a family member who had sex with you at twelve?”
I nodded.
Closing her eyes, she headed back to the bed and sat back down. An odd silence saturated the room.
“I'm sorry, Cynthia.” She didn't face me, but I recognized that sorrow in her voice that most people held when I decided to tell them. Either they pitied my story or yearned to run away from me as if I were a monster.
“I don't think I can have sex like a normal person,” I admitted.
Evie opened her eyes. “Maybe you can. Have you ever talked to a counselor about it? Do your parents know?”
“No one in my family knows, except him. And I don’t think I can talk to a therapist about it. They’ll just tell somebody.”
“What? All this time you’ve been dealing with this by yourself?” She faced me. Rage filled her face. “You have to tell somebody. Is this sicko still out there?”
“Yes, but you don't understand my family dynamics. He's sort of like the head of everybody. He's been real successful and sort of takes care of everyone.”
“So no one knows?” She shook her head. “Do you still have to see him?”
“When I go home.” I had to get off of this topic. It was venturing too close to where I didn't want to go. I twisted my own fingers in my lap. “Evie, can you just give us some time?”
“That's not fair.” She gave me a weak smile. “I feel like crap for what you've been through, but it's not right to talk me into a situation that I'm uncomfortable with.”
My phone rang again. I knew it had to be my mom.
She gestured to it. “We might as well start answering our phones and get all of these explanations over with.”
“Yeah.” I picked it up and scanned my mind for more ways to convince her. “Can we talk more about this later?”
“I don't think—”
“Please.”
She held up her hand. “Fine. Come down to the bar, and I'll talk about it a little more, but that's it. After tomorrow, I just want to move on.”
The COMPLETE Coventon Campus Series: Books I, II, & III Page 14