“Do it,” Evie ordered.
“I–I can’t.”
“You can.”
“I’m scared.”
“Me too.” She embraced me and held me closer than anyone had ever done in my life. “Stop hiding inside of yourself. Stop giving him control of your life. I’m no head doctor but I know something between you and him must change, because all of this is killing you inside, and that’s not cool.”
My phone buzzed. His name lit up the screen.
Okay. Evie is high, but…maybe she’s right. How can I stop being a fuck-up if I don’t end what is messing me up in the first place?
I pressed the button and placed the phone to my ear. “What?”
“Where are you?” His deep voice traveled through the line and delivered tingling sensations through my body.
“I’m at South Beach.”
“I’ll drive up to see you.”
“No. Don’t come here.”
Evie let me go and backed up. “Oh no. Tell him to come.”
She proceeded to punch the air a few times like some professional fighter shadowboxing in preparation for a big fight.
“Don’t call me anymore,” I said.
“Why did you tell your friend I hurt you?” he asked. “She was calling me the molester, right?”
“Yes.” The word was a shiver, my nerves slippery liquid forms of themselves.
“I didn’t molest you.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Is that really what you think of our love, pain?”
“Yes. Pain. Damage. All of that. Don’t you get what you did to me?” I wiped the side of my face.
Evie paused from boxing. “No tears. Get mad, not sad.”
“I hate you.” I breathed in and out as Evie nodded. “I–I hate you.”
“I love you,” he replied.
I paused for a few seconds to try and push his three words out of my mind. “Don’t call me anymore. Don’t email me. Don’t—”
“I won’t stop. Our love can’t stop.”
“You’re sick and twisted.”
“You’re everything that I’ve always longed for. Now is the time to pursue this. You’re of age, and my love for you has never ended.”
This was how it always went. I moved forward with my independence, and he shoved me right back. Why can’t I stand up to him? What has he ingrained in my head to keep me latched onto him? I tried to hand the phone to Evie.
“Nope.” She shook her head. “Don’t forget rule three.”
“You never said rule three.”
Evie twisted her lips to the side. “Well rule three is Cynthia will fight her own battles.”
“And if I die fighting?” My voice sounded like a shaky mess.
“Then you’ll die a warrior.”
Maybe I should smoke what she’s smoking.
I put the phone back to my ear.
“Cynthia?” he asked.
“I’m going to the cops to file a report against you.”
That had to unsettle him. It took him a good minute to respond. Meanwhile, Evie gave me a thumbs up.
“I haven’t done anything to warrant a police report,” He said.
That pissed me off. If he’d been right in front of my face, I would have slapped him or maybe even hit him with one of Evie’s gut punches.
“You killed me.” Those words were the first ones that came out clear and strong, no stuttering or glint of uncertainty. “You murdered the normal part of me that was supposed to grow up, go off to college, marry, and be normal. You shattered that. Don’t you call me anymore. You…you piece of shit!” I shut the phone off.
“Tell him, girl!” Some guy yelled from a booth farther down in the darkness.
Okay. I’m okay.
“This feels good,” I said to Evie.
He called back and I answered with no problem, ready to tell him off again.
“Cynthia, have you been drinking?” he asked.
“I’m going to file a report and sue and get a restraining order and…and buy a gun—”
Evie waved her hands to stop me. “Maybe you should slow down a little bit.”
“Cynthia, where is all of this coming from?” he asked. “I’ve never said a mean thing to you—”
“Shut up.”
And he did. That very reaction was like an electric shock to the system. Energy surged through me. I told him to be quiet, and he closed his sick little mouth. For once I had control, no more of him commanding the conversation.
“Tell his ass to lawyer up,” Evie ordered.
“You better lawyer up this week!” I hit the air. “I’m done with you continuing this twisted game that you play with my mind. I’m done!”
“Hurry up and be done, sweetie, so we can enjoy our night,” another guy yelled out from the shadows.
“This thing that you’ve caused ends tonight. I advise you to get your resources together because the future weeks will be rough ones.” I shut off the phone.
Evie high-fived me. “And that’s how you take control of the situation.”
Pipe ducked his head in the doorway. “Dear God, I figured this would be the last place you two would be.”
“She needed a quiet place to talk on the phone,” Evie admitted.
“So you take her to the B.J. section?” Pipe captured our hands and guided us away.
“BJ? I thought you said make out area.” Evie stumbled forward.
“What are we, in high school? If anyone is giving a hickey back there it is not to the other guy’s neck. Let’s go.”
We rushed out of there and then further past dancing men.
“Anyway, we got to go, people. Speed it up.” Pipe towed us forward. “Jay is waiting for us outside.”
What is wrong with you?” Evie tried to get out of his grip, but it looked like there was no escape for her. “Why do you want to leave all of a sudden? Where the hell is the fire, crazy?”
“He’s here.” Pipe glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t want Jay and him to meet.”
“Who’s he?” I asked.
“Pipe’s lover.” Evie picked up her pace.
“What’s wrong with Pipe’s lover?” I asked.
“It’s complicated,” Pipe muttered and dragged us away.
Chapter Fourteen
Evie
We walked along South Beach in the middle of the night. I moved between the two most important men in my life, Pipe and Jay. They held my hands as Cyn stumbled ahead of us, drunk from too many mojitos. Although she pretended not to, I noticed her constantly checking her phone.
“One more club?” Pipe rubbed my thumb with his.
“No way.” I leaned my head on his arm. “I can’t believe I can still walk.”
“You want me to carry you?” Jay asked on the other side.
“Oh God. Have we returned to this?” Pipe whined. “Jay being the big sappy Evie accommodator.”
“Be quiet, Pipe,” I laughed.
“Yeah, shut up.” Jay drew me closer to him.
Darkness surrounded us. Besides the distant lights from Ocean Drive’s lounges, clubs, and high-end restaurants, our sandy path was shadows dancing under a full moon. Waves crashed with the melodies of nature. Breezes harmoniously whipped through the tall patches of grass bordering the entrance. Unlike Coventon’s one beach, South Beach provided the softest and coolest sand. It had a powder-like texture and clung to my feet as I tip-toed through it.
Hungry lovers scattered throughout the beach. Every now and then, when the moonlight hit just right, I could spot two bodies writhing and twisting under blankets. One or two bonfires spread out further in front of us. There were at least four or five people hanging by each flaming centerpiece, drinking from bottles in brown paper bags.
“I thought it was illegal to make bonfires on the beach,” Cynthia glanced over her shoulder at Pipe.
Pipe took his hat off and placed it on my head. “It’s so late right now, even the cops are sleeping in their cars in some
hidden alley, or even worse, they’re handling something scarier than we could think of. No one cares about a few fires this late.”
In darker corners where many high lifeguard chairs posted, other shadier people lounged. Their chemical smoke drifted down our way and made me scrunch up my nose. None of us said anything as we passed them, everyone probably sensing the same creepiness as I did.
We’d been partying all night. Club after club. Electronica to hip hop to Latin soul. We laughed and joked, screamed over music and drunkenly mumbled in hoarse voices. And boy did we dance. Sweat drenched our bodies. My hair was a mess. My clothes were now wrinkled, thin fabric that had been stroked and teased by Jay’s groping fingers when he could find breaks in my barrier and sneak into my personal space. Cynthia had lost a shoe and simply hiked the other one into the sea. Pipe only wore pants. His cane of poor fish as well as the rest of his tuxedo was a distant memory on somebody’s dance floor. Even Jay no longer wore his black dress shirt and had his sports cap turned to the back with his jeans hanging low under those chiseled abs.
I sighed. “We look like a gang of ruffians.”
“We are a gang of ruffians.” Jay grinned. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Of course.”
Pipe had shown us his whole playground. We caught taxi rides up to Collins Avenue where one alcohol drink cost over fifty dollars and then down to Washington Avenue where bouncers not only checked for guns before letting you enter but perused your clothing choice. We ate the greasiest slab of pizza at a twenty-four-hour pizza joint on Lincoln Avenue and all four of us shared a slice of chocolate fried cheesecake in an all-night bakery on Ocean Drive.
I had no idea what time it was, but then I never did when I partied with Pipe. He didn’t have a clear idea of schedules or appointments, just that he liked to be where he wanted to be at the time and moment he decided to show up.
“I don’t think I can take another step.” Cynthia almost tripped but was somehow able to keep up a reasonably dignified pace.
“Don’t worry. Our beds are waiting for us.” Pipe yawned. “I still think we should have taken a cab ride back.”
“Your hotel is just a few blocks down and with all the stuff we consumed, a walk isn’t a bad idea,” Jay let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“My feet hurt,” Cynthia whined.
“I think our damsel is need of a hero,” Pipe whispered in my ear. “Do you see any heroes on the beach?”
“Of course.” Still walking, I got on my toes and landed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I believe you’re the only hero out here.”
Jay snorted.
“So then it is all up to me?” Pipe touched his chest in mock shock.
I nodded. “Yes, my love. It is all up to you.”
“I think I’m going to throw up,” Jay muttered.
“Will you miss me when I’m gone, sweet Evie?” Pipe released my hand and skipped up to Cynthia like a bouncing little diva.
“Oh, my love.” I waved goodbye. “I’ll be thinking of you every second, every moment. I’ll sit by the window with pretty little letters, dried flowers, and lit candles, just writing romantic poems about your heroic adventures.”
Pipe bowed. “And I too will be thinking of you, but I won’t be writing poetry. It will be songs, sweet serenades and harmonious sonnets—”
“Would you just pick Cynthia up?” Jay interrupted. “Fucking ridiculous! The both of you.”
I nudged him with my hip. “Someone’s jealous?”
He grumbled.
Pipe laughed as he lifted Cynthia up and then made a crazy dash ahead of us. She shrieked with glee. Of course, he couldn’t just carry her like a normal person. Pipe had to sling her over his shoulder and run off like a lust-driven monster in the wild of night. He even cackled as he raced away with Cynthia giggling the whole time.
“So Pipe is the only hero on the beach?” Jay asked once Pipe and Cynthia’s images shifted to tiny dots within moonlit darkness.
“Maybe.” I got out of his hold but continued to walk beside him.
“Every time I touch you, you move away.”
“I told you I need my space.”
He stopped my walking and turned me his way. The cool breeze picked up, which was welcome within the warm air. Still, my sweated-out curls moved under Pipe’s hat as Jay drank in my view. “I told you I wouldn’t give you space.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m my own woman.”
Darkness hid part of his face. “You danced with a lot of men tonight.”
“It’s a free country.”
“I didn’t punch anybody in the face, not even that big guy covered up in all of those stupid heart tattoos on the side of his face.”
“He was a good dancer.”
“He liked to grab your ass.”
“Most do.”
Jay stepped closer. “I don’t like seeing you with other men.”
“Too bad.” I walked off.
“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.” He trailed behind me.
“It doesn’t matter, Jay. We broke up.”
“When we go back up to Coventon, guys are going to be in your face, even more due to this news scandal.”
“Thanks for that, by the way. I’m surprised no one recognized me tonight and started screaming out Heisman Whore.” I twirled my fingers over my head for added drama. “And I don’t care if you don’t like seeing me with other men. Don’t forget. I watched you kiss and hug with Cynthia so many times, I’ll be having nightmares about it.”
He seized my waist from behind and picked me up. “Let’s talk.”
“Wait. What? We are talking.”
He carried me toward the ocean instead of in the direction of our hotel. “Just give me a few minutes.”
“No. I’m tired. And why are we going out to the water?”
“Let’s go for a swim.”
“A swim at what, five or six in the morning? Really?”
“Really. Like we used to do when we were kids.”
“You mean skinny dipping.”
“No, but clothing is definitely optional, especially in your case.”
“I’m not getting naked with you.”
“Fine. Then swim in your bra and panties.”
“I’m tired.”
“The water will wake you up.”
I laughed. “Did you smoke one of Pipe’s joints?”
“No, I’m just high off of you right now and don’t want to end this night.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes but didn’t fight the idea of swimming anymore. He’d been right about one thing, I didn’t want to end this night either. It was the one time when all four of us got together and everything was laid out for us to enjoy. There were no dark feelings lingering in the background, no jealousy or envious thoughts, no creeping behind anyone’s back or resentment for being there in the first place. We all just had fun for once in our lives.
“You spent most of your time with Pipe tonight.” Jay placed me on my feet when we got next to the shoreline. Salty bubbles rolled forward and then lazily floated back. “I’m just asking for twenty or so minutes of just you and me.”
There was something odd in the way he said those words, so I asked, “Are you jealous of Pipe and my time?”
“Always.”
“Stop playing.”
“I’m serious.”
“Pipe isn’t interested in me.”
“Not sexually, but he wants your companionship. He loves the fuck out of you, and if you had a penis, he would be serious competition for me, so crazy I would just forfeit the game.”
“We’re just friends.”
“His hands and lips were all over you tonight.”
“That’s how it always is.”
“Which should tell you how bad he has it for you.”
“Okay, whatever. You’ve clearly been drinking too much.” I blew out a long breath, not really sure if Jay had much of a point or not. I had given all of my
time to Pipe tonight, but I didn’t see him much and part of me was still pissed with Jay. But in the end, Jay was my friend as well as Pipe, and I didn’t want to ruin that part of what we had. “Let’s do this swim.”
“Really?” Jay formed his lips into a huge smile.
“Yeah. Really.”
I gazed around. No one was near us. Although many scattered people hung out on the beach, they were far enough away that if they looked at us, they’d just see black images of our frames in dim lighting. The closer we got to the sea, the less they could make us out.
“Are you scared to take off your clothes?” There was a hint of dare in Jay’s voice.
“No. Are you?”
“Never, Evie. Not when it comes to taking my clothes off with you.”
“When did you get so corny?”
“After the third mojito, I think.”
“Well thank goodness you’re done drinking.” I stopped staring into the darkness. “Alright, I’ll take mine off after you.”
“God, this reminds me of the old days.”
“Yeah, when times were much simpler,” I muttered.
Jay and I always lived next to a beach when we were kids. It was like we were birthed from the sand. We were true beach babies. A swim in the middle of the night was nothing. What had me on edge was the results that could come from our diving in the water. I didn’t need to go back to Jay, not now. My heart required time to heal. My mind needed a lot of space to just think about all the things that had happened.
But my body disagreed.
I was starting to believe that my hungry little frame was made up of different things that others didn’t have. Clearly, I had a higher level of hormones that interacted with my system more than others because there I stood under the bright moon, shedding my clothes and drooling as Jay took off his shoes and pants. Of course, he was gorgeous. That one fact had never been disputed by anyone, from national TV to our hometown. He was curves and muscle, sleek confidence and everything else that made women’s panties wet just from sight alone. My body craved him—my nipples stiffened, skin shivered with thirst, and my gaze danced all over that able body of his.
This is not a good idea.
“Just a swim,” I said.
“Okay.” He licked his lips.
The COMPLETE Coventon Campus Series: Books I, II, & III Page 24