“You wish you could put me on time out, sister.” Pipe snapped, and we all laughed. “So Jay, when Forty Bomb does his video, will you do a cameo?”
Jay’s chest vibrated a little as he talked. “Hell no.”
“You got to do a cameo.” Pipe chuckled. “Are you kidding me? You got to do it in the purple football pimp suit.”
“I would be a joke,” Jay said.
“Just go with it, golden boy.”
Pipe and Jay continued to go back and forth, joking on each other every few minutes. I said nothing, just enjoyed their conversation. That moment reminded me of old times, when things were simpler, and life made more sense.
I didn’t know if they thought I’d fallen asleep or not. I continued to listen to my two favorite men share. Things got deeper. Jay confessed about his nightmares. Pipe admitted to his own. Neither described them, but there seemed to be a silent understanding that bridged between them.
What the hell was that in the bathroom, tonight? Should I be worried or were we just bugged out? No more of this smoking and drinking all the time. We both need to stay clearer.
I thought of Pipe’s face and chest. Fear whipped at my heart. Several messed up scenarios ran through my head. I almost thought I wouldn’t fall asleep. But then, I thought of my mom’s answer for everything.
Prayer. We just need prayer. Some things are bigger than our control.
Chapter Nineteen
Pipe
In my dreams, I was a bruised angel. My wings beat against the air, and I rose high in the dark sky, eluding lightning that zig-zagged through the sky. Cold wind thrashed against my skin and irritated all of the scars. They opened a little. Blood spilled out of torn flesh.
Still, I rose.
It stormed. Rain poured down on my body, wetting my feathers and stinging my sores. Blood mixed with cold water. Thunder crackled in my ears. I blinked through the downpour. There was no sun or moon, just white clouds that glowed in the lightning and then darkened back into the black of the universe.
I knew where I was going. My wings battled the air. Still climbing the sky, I formed my hands into fists and roared.
“Pipe,” someone called off in the distance. “Pipe!”
The person shook me, and I woke up.
No. I want to stay asleep. I’m not done flying!
I opened my eyes.
“Pipe?” Evie tapped at my chest.
“Fuck, Evie.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned. “I wanted to know where I was flying to.”
“What?”
“I was an angel, and I was flying.”
“Well, you might want to sprout some wings now.” Evie glanced at the door.
A knock came. Jay was no longer in bed. Instead, he stood in front of the door like a nervous cat. Another bang came.
I turned to Evie. “What’s going on?”
“Your father’s outside the door.”
“My dad?” I jumped in my skin. “What?”
“Yes. I thought Jay was fucking with me. He’s been banging on the door for the past minute.”
“How the hell did he figure out I was here?” I rushed off the bed.
“Same way you probably did,” Evie whispered. “How did you find us?”
“That stupid balcony video.” I scrambled for my jeans.
Jay did his best to whisper, but it came off as a loud murmur. “Should I open the door?”
“No.” I wagged my hands. “I can’t see Dad now. I can’t. He’s going to lose it if he sees my face. He’ll just go crazy.”
Evie got up from the bed. “He won’t be mad at you.”
“I know that.” I struggled to get into my pants. “I get that now. I know he loves me. I’m not exactly the type of man Dad wanted me to be, but he loves me.”
Another knock came. My father’s voice sounded through the door. “Jay, I know you’re in there. I hear whispering.”
Jay held out his hands and glanced at me. I placed a finger in front of my lips and then pointed to my jacket, hoping that he understood me. Evie grabbed it, tip-toed over to the balcony door and gestured for me to come. Nodding, I headed her way.
“Jay!” My father banged at the door. “Open this up.”
“I’m coming, sir.” Jay signaled for us to hurry.
“Don’t sir me.” Dad knocked again. “I’ve been standing outside of this door for twenty minutes.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Don’t be sorry, Jay,” Dad said. “Just open the door.”
He’s pissed. He only gets this angry when he’s stressed out of his mind. Fuck. I don’t want him to be worried about me.
Evie had already snuck over to her room. She was always good with getting in and out of a sticky situation while Jay and I tripped over our own feet and got caught.
I opened the balcony door and waved Jay over to me. The moon hung in the dark sky.
“What?” Jay crept my way like a stud muffin idiot.
“What are you doing?” I whispered. “Why are you walking like that?”
“Hey, I’m making sure he doesn’t hear me moving around in the room.”
“Dad already knows you’re in here. He might as well hear that you’re walking around.”
“I’m not used to sneaking like this, and you know I can’t lie to that man.” Jay wiped sweat from his forehead.
Goodness. He’s already sweating. I’ll be lucky enough to get a five-minute head start.
“Calm down.” I placed my hand on his chest.
“I can’t. You know he’s going to get everything out of me.”
“Would you calm down?”
“Okay.” Jay inhaled and then exhaled, coughed, and then shook his head. “No. I can’t do it. He’ll do what he does, that whole talking me into circles thing. I’ll expose us all.”
A smile broke out on my face.
“This isn’t funny.” He frowned.
“No, it’s not.” I couldn’t take that grin off of my face. “It’s just that, this reminds me of old times.”
“It should.” He gestured to the balcony. “Evie is already gone.”
I checked, and he was right.
Jay continued, “You’re right behind her. And me? I somehow get caught and drilled by your dad or Mrs. Elaine.”
“They always had a way to get shit out of you.”
“Evie thinks they planted a no-lie chip in my head that only they can control.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”
“Jay!!” Dad banged at the door some more.
“Coming, sir. I wasn’t dressed, and I have diarrhea!” Jay sucked at this.
The knocking stopped.
“Well, that will perplex him for a few minutes.” I squeezed Jay’s shoulder. “I just wanted to tell you thank you for defending my honor, but Jay, you’ve got to go back to Coventon.”
“We’re not leaving until we know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not,” I admitted. “But this is going to take time. Give me some space, but—”
“Fucking answer your phone then.”
“I will.”
“I want to see you tomorrow,” Jay added.
“Definitely, I’ll call you and give you a place.”
“What are you going to do?” Jay asked.
“Go back to my hole and sleep.”
“I mean about your dad.”
“I just...” I gazed back at the door. “I don’t want him to see me like this right now. Do you get it?”
Jay didn’t say anything.
“I just would rather heal some more. Just feel a little better on the inside and out, and then I can face him.”
Jay nodded. “Okay.”
“Tell him that I love him and that I’m going to be okay.” I pulled Jay into my arms and hugged him. “I’m going to be okay. You know that, right?”
Jay put his huge arms around me and tightened his grip. It felt like I would never be able to ge
t out of that cage of muscle.
“You’re getting fucking big,” I mumbled.
“Jealous?” He let me go.
“No, I’ll be back in the gym soon. You need to catch up.” I walked off.
Jay grabbed my arm. “Oh wait.”
“What?”
He targeted me with a hard gaze that came out of nowhere, one that made me shiver with fear.
I quirked my eyebrows. “What?”
“I don’t know what happened in the bathroom between Evie and you.” He released my arm. “But don’t let that happen again.”
I blinked. We stared at each other for a few seconds.
“No quirky reply, Pipe?” he asked.
“None.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know.”
Worry etched near Jay’s eyes. “Maybe you should just say, ‘Okay, Jay. That won’t happen again.’”
But, I don’t know what I want right now, and I can’t hurt you.
I backed up and let out a long breath. “We should probably talk about this later.”
“Or you could just promise me—”
“I can’t.” I continued to walk away from him. “I can’t lie to you, Jay.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he yelled after me.
“I’ll call you. We’ll talk about it.”
I could’ve sworn he growled or made some odd animal sound behind me. I picked up my pace. Logic told me to just agree to what he asked, just tell him that sure, I would never touch Evie again. But things happened too fast. Odd feelings had sparked in my body. Maybe I was an injured animal hoping for salvation. Or did something exist between Evie and I that I should at least think about? Things I’d thought I squashed down inside of me arose and made themselves known.
Was I in love with Evie? Of course. But did I want something more than friendship? I couldn’t confirm or deny it. Was it worth losing Jay? No. I knew I would do my best to keep her in the proper part of my heart, the friendship side.
But there was one thing that I couldn’t do. I could never promise to not touch her again. Even in that moment as I rushed across the balcony and tiptoed into Evie’s room, my fingers itched to run across her skin before I said goodbye. I didn’t want to make love to her, but I yearned to have her in my arms for a few seconds.
It might’ve been fucked up or wrong, but I had to smell her, hold her frame, and hear that voice, right before leaving.
Darkness swallowed me as I entered the other suite. This must’ve been Jay’s room. Perfume lingered in the other. No lovely scent existed over here, just the stale odor of beer. Moonlight shined through the opened balcony. A cool breeze waved in.
I lowered my voice. “Evie?”
Several empty cans lay crunched on the table. I waved my hands around to make sure I didn’t bump into anything. “Evie?”
“Shh,” she whispered. “I’m at the door.”
I guessed where it would be in relation to the other room, and mimicking Jay earlier, I crept across the room, doing my best to not laugh out loud.
“What the hell are you doing?” she whispered.
“Ask Jay when you see him. Do it just like that.”
“O-kay.”
I got to the door. “Did Jay let Dad in yet?”
“I don’t think so.” Evie kept her head to the door. “I can still hear your father talking in the hallway. There’s at least five guys with him.”
“Shit. He brought his legal team. He’s out for murder.”
“Yeah.”
“You think he figured it out what happened to me?”
“No way.” She glanced at my face and her eyes watered. “No one could guess this.”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you feeling sorry for me.”
“Okay.”
“This is why I can’t let him see me like this,” I said. “It would crush him. He already lost Mom. All he has is his work and me. I can tell he feels like a failure as a father, and maybe he could’ve done better, but...”
“He loves you.”
“Yes.”
A few quiet minutes passed.
“Hmmm.” She got up from the door. “I think they went inside. It sounds like something closed, and I don’t hear them talking anymore. Let me just do a quick look.”
She slowly turned the knob and opened the door a few inches. “No one is out there.”
“Good.”
She closed it back and handed me my jacket. “You better hurry. You know Jay can’t lie to him.”
“Nor your mother.”
“But he’s just fine with his grandparents.”
“They’re too old to try and catch him, and they’re just glad to still be alive to watch him be this great guy.” I put the jacket on and pulled the hood over my head. “They would believe anything he said.”
“Hopefully, no one shows his grandparents these latest videos.”
“Look, they don’t believe that the US landed on the moon. They believe it’s a big film production. They’ve already told me that they think all of these articles on Jay are a government conspiracy.”
“Wow.”
“Jay can do no wrong.”
“Let’s hope.” She began to move out of my way, probably to give me space to rush off.
“Evie?”
She paused.
“Make sure Jay and you leave tomorrow night. I’ll try to see you before you go.”
“But—”
“What are you two, my parents? Go back to school, finish the damn semester. You two have all summer to follow me around.”
“What if you disappear on us again?”
“Never.”
“Pinky swear.”
“Pinky swear.” I tilted toward her and kissed those lips.
When I pulled back, she opened her mouth in shock.
What am I doing?
She blinked. “You’re kissing me more.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I’m stockpiling kisses and warmth.” I pressed my mouth against hers and sucked on that bottom lip. “There’s a storm coming. I want to make sure I have enough memories to keep me warm.”
“If there’s a storm, maybe you should take boots and an umbrella.”
I laughed and opened the door. “I’ll try to remember them.”
“Call me every day.”
“I will.” I held the door open, ducked into the hallway, and stepped out.
“Do you need money?” she asked.
“Not yet, but I might if Dad freezes the accounts, and he will if I take too long to see him.”
“So do it. Talk to your father.”
“I’ll see him, Evie. Just not right now.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“How soon?”
“Soon, Evie.” I gave her my signature kiss—a peck on her right cheek, then the left, on her forehead, chin, tip of her nose, and finally ending with her lovely mouth. “I love you.”
I left her there, walked fast, and then broke into a skip toward the end of the hallway. I couldn’t look back. Evie would still be standing there in the hallway. She would still be watching. Maybe she hoped I would turn around and let her protect me. Perhaps she wondered what the hell was going through my head. Regardless, I couldn’t glance over my shoulder. If I spotted that sad expression on her face, I’d turn around. I’d give up and do what she wanted, just to see a smile on her face.
No, Evie. This time, I have to be the hero. I have to save myself.
On the elevator, I pressed my fingers against my lips and thought about those kisses.
I need some space and time. My head is haunted. Why am I thinking about her like that? I need space. I can’t do that to Evie...or Jay.
Down in the hotel lobby, I headed outside to grab a cab and turned on my phone. Even though it was late at night, South Beach would still be awake.
Tons
of text messages filled the screen. Most were from Dad. I only checked Kush’s.
Kush: Where r u?
Me: I’m coming.
Kush: R u okay?
Me: Yes. We should talk. I had a dream about an angel.
Kush: What happened in the dream?
Me: I was flying.
Kush: Where?
Me: I don’t know. I woke up before I could see.
Kush: Be my angel. Let’s see where you were going in your dreams.
Only Kush could say something like that. Most would’ve ignored the whole dream altogether and want to know where the hell I’d gone. Instead, he focused on the thing I was passionate about.
Kush: Be my angel, Pipe.
I had no reply.
What the hell is wrong with him? He knows me for a few days and now thinks I should just be his fucking angel. What does that even mean? And how would his Saka feel about that?
Kush: Pipe?
Me: I’m thinking . . .
Kush: 3 dots, really? What do the dots symbolize?
Me: They were just dots.
Kush: U put them there for a reason.
Sighing, I hailed a cab and then texted him back.
Me: Are all artists this dramatic?
Kush: Yes . . .
Me: Did those dots symbolize something?
Kush: Did they? Lol.
Me: I’ll see U soon.
Kush: Will I get an answer?
The taxi pulled up. “Where are you going, sir?”
“Wynwood.” I shut off my phone and got in the back.
Will he get an answer? Must he be so pushy? I was hurt, and he just expects me to want to flaunt off my injuries. I just…I can’t. I don’t know. I won’t hide, but…
South Beach glittered by my window as we rushed down Ocean Drive. This was my city. I’d adopted her a few years ago and promised I would never leave. Then a demon soared down into my place of worship and ate my soul.
Miami no longer held that sparkle. The fluorescent buildings dimmed. The lights appeared dusted and cracked. The gorgeous men and women stalking down the streets were now façades—creatures inside of pretty shells. The tropical weather had once been the thing that drew me here. I relished in the breeze and unexpected drops of rain each day. Now, heat swelled from battered concrete. Storms blew through the palm trees and dragged torn branches and scattered fruit all over the place.
The COMPLETE Coventon Campus Series: Books I, II, & III Page 53