by Cindy Dees
“Are you tired?” she murmured under her breath to him.
“Need to think,” he mumbled. “You must be tired… Let you rest… See you in the morning…” He headed for the master bedroom, vaguely aware of Casey staring at him as he stumbled to his room. Someone closed the door behind him, and his bodyguards looked back and forth between him and the closed portal in amazement.
Frankly, he was pretty damned amazed himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had strong enough feelings for a woman to forgo sex in the name of honoring both her and those feelings.
Casey leaned against the closed door of her bedroom, unsure whether to sob in heartbreak or scream in fury. One night. That was his idea of a long-term relationship? One lousy night? Well, okay, one night, one train ride and one sexy date. Big diff.
And to think she’d been letting down her guard with him for real in the club, exploring her feminine side and discovering to her great shock that she enjoyed flirting with the right man.
She ought to be thanking her lucky stars that the jerk had dumped her this fast and hard before she really got emotionally invested in him. Right? Then why did she feel as if her stomach had just been used as a punching bag?
She stripped off her clingy little dress, threw on sweat pants and a sloppy T-shirt, scrubbed off her makeup and crawled into bed. And waited for relief from the grief and desire ricocheting through her body like out-of-control bullets.
She couldn’t possibly have more than an infatuation for Hake after such a short time. This would pass in a day or two. It was just lust. A crush. None of this was real.
One thing she knew for sure: Hake El Aran had no idea whatsoever of how to have a real relationship. She felt sorry for whoever his father forced him to marry. The poor girl was in for a miserable and loveless life.
As for her, she wanted more.
At least she hadn’t made too huge a fool of herself in front of Hake’s bodyguards. Sure she’d crawled all over Hake in the club, but they all knew that was just part of the act. The last thing she needed to do was have a torrid affair with Hake El Aran in front of his men. Word would get back to the Special Forces community in a heartbeat, and she would never hear the end of it. Yup. She’d dodged a bullet tonight.
Then why did she feel as if a bullet had torn right through the middle of her heart?
Chapter 13
G rumpy and tired the next morning, Casey dressed for exercise. She needed to do something physical and violent. Sleep—or a notable lack of it—had made two things clear to her. She’d definitely cared more for Hake than she’d realized. And just as definitely, she’d narrowly avoided destroying her reputation and career.
In that same vein, as satisfying as it would be to tear out Hake’s eyeballs, she had a job to do. Terrorists to catch. She had to suck up her personal hurt feelings and go on with the mission. But from here on out, it would damned well be on her terms. Girding herself to face Hake, she stepped out of her room.
He had his nose buried in a newspaper and said little to her over breakfast, which was just fine with her. She ate a light meal, and then turned to Tomas. “So, am I going down to the gym to work out, or can you and your guys make me break a sweat?”
The bodyguards grinned as one. Tomas, dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, replied, “Thought you’d never ask. Full contact or just to the touch?”
She laughed. “What’s the point if it’s not full contact?”
Hake’s newspaper came down. “What are you talking about?”
She answered breezily, “Nothing. Go back to your stock quotes.”
The guards were already pushing the furniture out of the middle of the living room. “Street rules?” Tomas asked eagerly.
She nodded and stepped into the clear space. The Swiss man stepped forward and the two of them circled each other for a few moments, assessing one another. Then he lunged. She slipped to the side and dropped him like a rock with a blow to the back of the head as he charged past. It was classic Medusa strategy. Don’t try to overpower a stronger opponent. Just don’t be there when he attacked.
The other men stared. Tomas got up slowly, shaking his head. “I knew you’d be fast, but not that fast.”
“Try again?” she asked him.
He nodded and settled into a fighting stance once more. This time he was cautious, focusing his efforts on wrapping his arms around her. It was a good tactic. Why chase her if he could make her stand still? But it still took him nearly ten minutes of grappling and lunging to finally subdue her. “Uncle,” she announced good-naturedly from within a crushing bear hug.
Tomas grunted, “This is only a stalemate. As soon as I turn you loose, you’ll be back at full strength. And in the meantime, I can’t do anything else because it’s taking all my energy to restrain you.”
“If you had a partner you’d be okay,” she pointed out.
“Still, that means I’d have to use two men to take you out.” Tomas turned her loose and she leaped to her feet and whipped around to face him all in one movement. He was ready for the attack, though, and mostly fended off the rain of blows she loosed on him.
“Hey!” Hake called sharply. “We’ve got places to go and be seen. Don’t give the girlfriend a black eye!”
Tomas stopped fighting instantly, and it was only by dint of her excellent reflexes that she stopped her fist from plowing into the man’s nose and breaking it. She turned to Hake, who scowled. She’d never seen him look that mad before, not even when he’d learned that terrorists had tried to kill him.
She answered tartly, “If I did get a black eye, you could always tell the paprazzi that you and I got carried away with rough sex. It would do wonders for your reputation as a bad boy.”
His scowl deepened even more. He bit out angrily, “I don’t hit women.”
She took the towel one of the men offered her, wiping her face as she strolled over to him. “Good for you. I’d hate to have to break you in half.”
He glared at her. “You know, it’s not the slightest bit attractive to say things like that to a man.”
She draped the towel over her shoulder. “Where is it written that women have to be wilting lilies to be attractive? Why should I pretend not to be strong and able to take care of myself so a man like you can feel macho and protective?”
He stared at her. “Don’t you want a man to take care of you?”
She stared back. And then laughed shortly. “I can take care of myself.”
“Then what’s a man good for in your world?”
Maybe it was because he’d taken her by surprise, or maybe it was because he’d pissed her off with his brush-off, or maybe it was because a tiny part of her did like the idea of a big, strong man looking out for her that she snapped, “In my experience, men are only good for one thing.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, then continued, “And barring that, they’re only good for decoration.”
Hake stared at her in open shock. Apparently, having his philosophy about women thrown back in his face was like having a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. She snorted. That was just too darned bad.
She turned on her heel and marched into her room to take a shower. Only after spending a good long time under the soothing jets could she admit to herself that men—some men, at any rate—were good for other things. When they weren’t being insecure about the girl doing too dangerous and manly a job, that was. Did the other Medusas get that from their men, or was it just her? Was she really a man-hater at heart? She’d never thought so, but now she wondered. Was she the problem?
Maybe love just wasn’t in the cards for her. The idea of falling in love with someone else at the same time they happened to fall in love back was a minor miracle. Throw in a whacky career like hers and the odds went even higher against finding that perfect guy at the perfect moment.
It was all well and good to fantasize about a man like Hake El Aran. But one thing she knew for sure: he would never love anyone except himself, and surely not a wom
an like her.
Hake was losing his mind. Casey had pulled back from him abruptly and completely, and nothing he could say or do seemed to get through to her. Here he was, falling in love with the woman, and she acted as if she wanted nothing to do with him. Women were the most contrary and incomprehensible creatures on the planet!
The next several days settled into a steady and infuriating pattern. They avoided each other during the day. At night, he took her out to the sexiest, most crowded venues he could find. They all but made love to each other in public, and each time magic swept over them, transporting them to a special place where only the two of them existed. It was extraordinary. He fell in love a little more with her each night…and returned to their hotel room at dawn each morning where she retreated to her bedroom alone.
When he confronted her, she made lame excuses about not wanting to ruin her reputation, or she claimed to need to concentrate on the mission. The mission was to be his girlfriend, dammit, not just play-act it for a few hours each night! If she did deign to join him for a meal, she treated him with polite disdain as if they were total strangers. It was maddening.
Every trick of seduction he tried backfired more spectacularly than the last. He sent her a dozen red roses, and she gave them to the maid. He sent her ten dozen red roses, and she donated them to a local hospital. He sent her an expensive necklace, and he found out from one of the bodyguards that she’d returned it to the jeweler and donated the money to a women’s shelter. He considered buying her something truly outrageous like a sports car or a jet, but in his heart he knew that wouldn’t be any more effective than what he’d already tried.
Finally, in desperation, he went to Tomas. “Do you happen to have the phone number of the women Casey works with?” he asked his man.
Tomas was alarmed. “Is there a new threat I should know about, sir?”
Only to his sanity. He shook his head. “Nothing like that. It’s personal.”
Understanding lit the guard’s eyes. “Ah. Do you want her boss or her best friend?”
How was it that his men knew who her best friend was and he didn’t? He frowned. “The best friend.”
“That would be Roxi. Here’s her cell phone number.”
Hake waited impatiently until it was a semi-civilized time to call someone in the United States, and then he dialed the woman’s number.
“Hello?” a cautious voice answered at the other end.
“Hello. This is Hake El Aran.”
“Is everything all right? Is Scorpion in trouble?” the woman asked in quick alarm.
“I’m the one in trouble,” he replied grimly.
“What’s happening?”
“I’m crashing and burning—”
“Say your location,” she interrupted tersely. “I’ll have emergency response en route immediately.”
“No, no. I’m crashing and burning metaphorically.”
“Excuse me?”
“I called you to get some advice. About Casey.”
“Are we talking romantic advice here?” The woman sounded incredulous. Frankly, so was he that he was making this call.
“Well, yes,” he admitted.
There was a long pause. Then a slow chuckle. Then an outright laugh. He endured it grimly, determined to figure out once and for all what had changed Casey’s tune for the worse.
Finally the woman’s mirth mostly subsided. “Striking out with our girl, are you?”
“In a word, yes.”
“And you want my help getting through to her?”
“Yes,” he bit out.
“Let me ask you this, Mr. El Aran. What makes you think you’re good enough for her?”
His back stiffened. “I beg your pardon?” What was she talking about? Women all over the world were after him. He was a prime catch…wasn’t he?
Her voice interrupted his indignant thoughts. “Why should I help you?”
The question startled him. “Because I want her.”
“And you always get what you want?”
He didn’t answer the question, stung.
“There’s your first problem. Casey’s not the type to go for arrogant men. She’s a strong, independent woman. She wants a partner, not a lord and master.”
“I don’t boss her around—” he started.
“I’m sure you don’t. She’d kick your butt if you tried.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He would suffer through this humiliating conversation if it was the last thing he did. He was at his wit’s end. “Tell me more about her.”
“She’s had exactly two boyfriends in her life that I’m aware of. She was engaged to both. One ultimately couldn’t handle her being hired by the FBI. The other couldn’t handle her becoming a soldier.”
Hake frowned. Her career was so important to her that she’d sacrificed two men she loved for it? He’d had no idea. “What else?”
“Look. This is none of my business, Mr. El Aran. I trust her judgment. If she doesn’t like you, she probably has a pretty good reason for it.”
“But what reason?” he ground out, as much to himself as to the woman at the other end of the line. “She hasn’t told me what it is.”
“Have you asked her?” Roxi asked. “The women in our unit can be a bit more direct than most. Too much of what we do is life-and-death stuff. We can’t afford to pussyfoot around issues that come up.”
He cringed at the idea of baring his soul to Casey. It went against everything he was. His life had been one long fight for privacy.
When he remained silent, Roxi said gently, “If you won’t let her in, why should she let you in?”
Still he said nothing. Roxi made one last comment. “Casey is one of very few women working in an entirely male world. We all have had to fight tooth and nail to gain the respect of the men around us, to deserve and get equal treatment. If she’s fought so hard to eliminate a double standard in her career, surely you can’t expect her to abide by a double standard in matters of the heart.”
He made a noncommittal sound, his mind running far ahead of the conversation at hand.
“Good luck, Mr. El Aran. I hope I’ve been of some assistance to you.” The line went dead in his ear. He stared at the instrument for a long time.
He could accept Casey’s career. And to his shock, he could even wrap his mind around making a long-term commitment to her. But she expected him to open his heart to her completely, with no reservations?
No way. He couldn’t do it.
Casey was getting tired of the jet-set life. Quickly. The great clothes and fancy clubs were all starting to look the same. No wonder the celebrities in the tabloids always seemed so bored. They were. The late nights didn’t agree with her, and waiting for someone to try to kill Hake grated on her nerves. And then there was the man himself. Fighting the jumble inside her of lust and simultaneous urge to kill him made thinking coherently a challenge.
But she knew not to give in to any of it. The more time she spent with him, the more obvious the man didn’t have the first clue how to conduct an actual relationship.
She dragged herself out of bed at nearly noon yet again and dressed in a pale yellow dress that reminded her of something she might have worn to Easter church services as a little girl. According to Roxi and her French stylist pal, though, it was appropriate attire for the polo match she and Hake were slated to attend this afternoon. At least Hake had relented on the subject of playing in the match. He’d been determined to ride until his father was finally recruited to call and talk him out of it.
Hake had been surly ever since that call yesterday. Not that she blamed him. It would bug her to death if her father tried to control her life at her age.
She paused in front of her door, going through the daily ritual of girding herself to face Hake. His sheer beauty never failed to hit her like a sucker punch to the gut. She threw open the door and marched into the main room. Oh, Lord. He wore a white linen suit with the palest of pale blue shirts. His tie was p
ale blue and white striped. From head to toe, he looked like a royal prince. She gulped and hoped desperately that he didn’t notice the check in her stride when she’d spotted him.
“Good morning,” she murmured distantly.
“Good morning, Casey. How are you feeling today?” he asked mildly.
She started over the distinctly different note in his voice. It alarmed her. She felt much safer when he was all but humming with frustration. “I’m fine, thank you. And you?”
He nodded slowly. “Better.”
“Better than what?” she asked cautiously.
“Hungry?” he asked, blatantly ignoring her question.
“I guess so.”
“Would you like to dine out on the terrace? It’s a lovely day.”
What the heck was going on with him? He hadn’t been this polite to her in days. “Uh, sure. If Tomas thinks it’s safe.”
“I already cleared brunch on the terrace with him. He muttered something incomprehensible about sight lines and high ground but declared it safe.”
Casey smiled. Since the resort was one of the tallest buildings in the city, the penthouse would, indeed, be difficult to shoot at. Hake held open the door for her, and she slipped by him, concentrating with all her might on not reacting as she passed close to him.
She craved their nights on the town like she craved air to breathe. She counted the hours until she could let go of her precarious self-control and crawl all over him, kissing him and putting her hands on him and giving herself to him the way she wanted to.
Not here, she thought sharply. They weren’t out in public. She had to behave until then. Not yet. Check that. Not ever.
Hake seated her himself, forcing her to brush past him again. She was intimately familiar with his scent now, but it still sent a rush of excitement up her spine.
“I took the liberty of ordering up brunch for us,” he said quietly. “I don’t mean to presume, but I thought you might not want to wait for the meal to be prepared. If you don’t like what I chose, by all means, feel free to order something else.”