by CJ England
"I walked out and went back to the cave. Elizabeth came after me and tried to get me to come back, but she didn't understand. Where I had loved ... I now hated. She had turned me into a monster. I could never forget. Never forgive.
"I swore to myself I would leave. Go somewhere where no one knew me. Then, at least the people I knew and loved would be safe from me."
"And what happened?"
"The next night I headed home. I had to tell my family goodbye and warn them about the monsters in the manor house, but when I arrived there to warn them ... it was too late."
Chapter 15
Kira covered her mouth with her hand. His pain drew her till she wanted to crawl inside of him and block out all the hurt he carried inside. “Oh no, Gallegar."
"Yes, my family died horrible deaths just so Elizabeth could punish me for walking away from her."
"What did you do?"
He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I gathered my family's bodies together and put them in their beds. Then I walked out and set the house aflame. The village thought we all perished in the fire."
"Afterwards, I went back up to the manor house. I came into the living room where Elizabeth was playing the piano and took her in my arms. She thought I had learned my lesson and had come back to where I belonged.” He met her eyes again and Kira flinched at the hardness in his. “I ripped her heart out with my bare hands."
Kira gasped, but Gallegar wasn't hearing anything but the memories that pursued him.
"When her loving husband came in and saw what I had done, he ran screaming for help. I chased him to the roof, where he pleaded with me for his life. It had all been her idea, he said. Of course, he had fed when they were dead. Good food shouldn't go to waste, now should it?"
His eyes were steely. “I twisted his head from his shoulders and threw it over the side of the building. Then, I burned the manor house to the ground. I left my home that day."
"Where did you go?"
"I wandered for years, drinking the blood of animals, until I met Damion."
"The one who carved the circle above your fireplace?"
He nodded. “He saw what I was, but wasn't afraid. As I told you, he knew of our kind. Knew that we weren't all bad. His brother had been changed and used Damion for food. He offered himself to me for that purpose. He was my one true friend for over a hundred years."
"Gallegar, I am so sorry—"
"Do not be sorry, A Ghra ... That is not why I told you the story. I told you because if I had told my family the truth about my lover, they would never have been killed. My lies caused their death."
"No,” Kira disagreed. “It was that horrible woman who killed them, not you."
"It may not have been my teeth that did the damage, but it was my fault. Elizabeth would never have gone near them, had I not gotten involved with her. She hunted only outside the parish."
"Gallegar...” She tried desperately to find something to hold onto. She had to stay strong for both of their sakes.
"I did not trust my family and so they were destroyed. As was I. It wasn't until I learned to trust Damion, that I began to heal. I tell you this, because I know you are hiding something. Something that frightens you. You must tell me what it is. Trust me. It is the only way we can help you."
Her whole body shook like a leaf. She wanted to tell him, but the image of what she had seen in the Gate was imprinted on her heart and mind. She loved him too much to put him in danger because of her. She closed her eyes, fighting with herself, knowing he would never let her leave without telling him something.
He took her into his arms, ignoring her efforts to get away. “A Ghra ... tell me. Tell me what I need to know."
At his words, she froze. Unknowingly, he had given her the perfect reason. Tears burned at her eyes. She opened her eyes and looked at the vampire. “I will tell you what you want to know, but first, I must ask you to let me go."
He frowned, but he did as she wished. As soon as she was free, she moved several steps away from him. “Thank you."
"A Ghra..."
Kira lifted her chin. “I must ask you not to call me that any more."
He staggered back from her. “What?"
"I said I do not want you to call me that any more. It bothers me to hear it. I am not your love."
Gallegar felt twin emotions. Searing pain and outraged anger. “What do you mean by this? I love you. You love me."
She looked down at her feet. “That is what I am trying to tell you. I have not before, because I did not want to hurt you."
"Tell me what?” he growled.
She shook her head. “I am sorry, Gallegar. I did not understand until too late. I was all mixed up because of my creation and then all of the joinings. Everything was so new and frightening."
Swallowing hard, Kira bravely looked into the vampire's beautiful green eyes. “I do not love you, Gallegar. I never did. It was a mistake."
"You lie!” The pain in his eyes was indescribable.
Her eyes flooded with tears. “I am sorry,” she choked out, turning away from him. “I did not want to hurt you. But it is true. I do not love you."
Weeping, she pulled away and ran upstairs.
Gallegar sat where she'd left him, his whole body numb with shock. She didn't love him? Had never loved him? He couldn't accept it. He had felt her touch, had reveled in her kisses. Those could not lie.
Patrick popped in beside him and looked seriously at the vampire. “She couldn't have meant it. Everyone knows that little gal loves you something fierce."
Gallegar's heart was too sore to be angry at Patrick for eavesdropping. “You heard everything?"
Even as an Ethereal, Patrick managed to blush. “Yeah, sorry about that. I started to leave and then got caught up in your story."
The vampire shrugged. “It did what it was supposed to do. She shared her secret with me. And now I am twice damned for it."
"Hell ... ya can't believe her, Gallegar."
"Why not? I am tired of fighting it. First, I have to keep her chaste so her power stays strong. Then, I have to fight Lucas for her. Now, I find out it was all for naught? I don't have anything left."
Patrick hovered worriedly. “I just don't think she's telling the truth. That wasn't her secret."
Gallegar stood up. The pain he felt was overwhelming. “I can't stay here. I don't want to see her. I'm going back to Sanctuary."
Turning, he walked out the archway and headed to the stairs. The slam of the door said he wasn't coming back.
Patrick stayed where he was, torn between following the heartbroken vampire and checking on Kira. “She ain't telling the truth,” he muttered. Popping out, he slid carefully into Kira's room, staying invisible.
One look at the blond girl crying her eyes out on the bed told him his instincts were right on the money. She was curled in a little ball, her face buried in a stuffed animal. When Patrick looked closer, he saw it was a white unicorn. He grinned. She loved Gallegar all right. The vampire had won that for her one night before all the trouble had started.
She had dragged them all into a carnival and proceeded to make them take her on every ride there was. Even strong Lucas had to sit down by the time she was done.
To make up for her disappointment when no one would take her on the “Zipper", Gallegar had gone over to the ring toss and using his vampire skills had easily won a big stuffed toy. The Chosen had all rolled with laughter when she had picked the white unicorn with gold mane and tail. Kira had given Gallegar a big hug and kiss for winning it. The love on her face had been easy for all of them to see.
* * * *
Patrick's next stop was The Keep. He popped in next to Danolas, who sat at his desk doing paperwork. The witch barely flinched when he arrived, so attuned to each other were they.
"Well? Are Kira and Gallegar talking?"
Patrick frowned, and turning corporeal, sat wearily on one of Danolas’ big stuffed chairs. “Not any more.” He filled the witch in on the whole con
versation, Gallegar's story and all.
Danolas shook his head. “This does not make sense. I felt her love for Gallegar."
"I agree,” the Ethereal said. He shared what he'd seen up in Kira's loft bedroom. “I felt kinda bad for spying on her ... but I just knew she was lying to him."
Danolas stood and picked up his staff. “You said she was weeping?"
"Yep. Crying her eyes out. She didn't even know I was there."
"Then this may be the only chance I have to see her when her shields are down.” Danolas looked at the shade. “Will you help me?
"Of course.” Patrick looked at Danolas. “What do I do?"
* * * *
They set up in Danolas’ bedroom. Danolas carefully cast a magick circle that would focus the energies in the room. “What I need from you, my friend, is your power. I'm not sure mine will be enough to get inside of her mind."
"How do I do that?” the shade wondered aloud.
Danolas lifted his staff, his eyes already glowing the deep sapphire of his staff crystal. “You will know when the time comes."
The high priest sent a spear of power onto the psychic plain straight to Kira. Both men saw her, still lying on her bed, her eyes closed. Little sobs shook her body.
"Oh, my sweet Lady...” Danolas murmured. “What are you doing to yourself?” Gently, he crept up on the barrier that separated his mind from hers. As Danolas approached, he felt Patrick add Ethereal power to his own. Together, they slid cautiously into Kira's mind.
"My God in heaven,” Patrick swore softly. They gazed around the psychic plain that was Kira's subconscious. “What is all this?"
All around them was a wasteland of empty muddy fields, scattered with debris and broken-down structures.
Danolas shook his head. “It is what is happening to our lady. Her mind is being destroyed. The gold of her aura is gone. This is much worse than I thought."
"But why?” The shade bent and sifted though the dirt at his feet. “What is causing all this?"
"That is what we are here to discover. Let's separate and look around. If you see anything odd, let me know immediately."
"What isn't odd?” Patrick's face was grim as he set off in the opposite direction from where Danolas had headed.
They searched for some time. As they walked through Kira's mind, they could feel the psychic energy starting to drain from their own minds and bodies.
"We can't stay here much longer,” Danolas gasped, wiping the sweat from his brow. “She is pulling my magick from me."
Patrick was heading towards a group of hillocks and looked back at the witch. “Is that why I'm feeling so tired all of a sudden?"
Danolas nodded as he caught up with the Ethereal. “She is absorbing our energy to replenish her own."
Patrick stopped listening, his mind on what he had just walked into. “Well ... what do we have here?"
Danolas stepped up beside him. They were standing next to five mounds of earth. Each mound stood about six feet tall and was made of earth and dried mud. The mounds had weathered boards piled up on them in a haphazard manner. Bits of earth and mud stuck out through the boards. Tiny gaps were lit with a murky veiled light.
Danolas put his hand on one of the mounds, and with a gasp, quickly withdrew it. “We have found it."
Patrick stared at the dirt mounds, his eyebrows raised. “What are they?"
Danolas looked around. “There should be one more.” He looked up higher on the hill. “Ahhh, there it is."
He ran up to stand next to a mound that was, twice again as large as the others. This one was subtly different. It had the same mud and earth, as well as the weathered boards, but there were huge gaps in it where a bright white light shone through all the holes.
Patrick watched him. “Ya wanna tell me what's going on?"
"I have found another spell that Kira cast. This one she did unintentionally. The wall we slid through ... was the spell she cast the night we came back from the apartment building. She tried to set up a shield and she used up most of her power to do it. That is why we can't feel anything from her any more. But she also cast these spells.” The witch motioned to the dirt mounds around them. “She just didn't realize it. These are what drain her life force."
"What are they?"
Danolas turned to him and his eyes glowed. “They ... my friend, are us."
* * * *
Kira walked slowly down the stairs to the lower level the day after her confrontation with Gallegar. She sighed wearily, feeling as tired as if she'd gotten no rest the day before. She was so tired of fighting. Not the war ... but her emotions. Even though it was the only way to keep the man she was in love with safe, she struggled daily to maintain the barrier. But she had to. She'd die herself before ever bringing any of them into danger ever again.
The story Gallegar had told her was constantly in her thoughts. He'd put it off, thinking she would stop loving him once she heard it, but in reality, she only loved him more. Her heart hurt for him, knowing the agony he must have gone through when his family died. She didn't blame him. Not for their deaths and certainly not for destroying the couple that had made him a vampire.
She hoped they were burning in Hell for what they had done to him. He had been a young man, who'd made a mistake. One that would haunt him forever, but she could see the man he was now.
Walking to the refrigerator, Kira pulled out some milk and poured herself a glass to settle her queasy stomach. Sipping at it, she glanced at the clock and saw it was still early. No one would be around for several more hours. She sighed again, relieved she would have the time to herself.
Unable to help it, she thought of Gallegar. Tears came to her eyes when she remembered his face when she told him she didn't love him. He had looked so ... devastated.
Wondering if he was all right, she closed her eyes and carefully made her way on the psychic plain to Sanctuary. She paused, not wanting him to know she was there, but her need to know he was okay was overpowering.
"Just one quick look,” she whispered, stepping through the hidden door.
Wham! She slammed into his secondary defense. Confused, she whispered the password and tried to go through again, but nothing happened. Kira pushed at the invisible barrier, her heart pounding in her ears. She tried several more times, before it hit her.
Gallegar had locked her out.
The milk glass fell from numbed fingers and smashed at her feet. Pain, such as she'd never known, swirled into her mind. He had given up on her.
Thinking instinctively to go to him, she stepped forward right onto a shard of glass. The pain was excruciating, but it was nothing compared to what was inside her. Her heart shattered, and fell to join the pieces of broken glass at her feet.
* * * *
Lucas pulled up in front of the loft. Patrick had popped into his apartment late last night to let him know there was to be a meeting at The Keep first thing that night ... without Kira's presence. The shade wouldn't say anything more, but the serious look on his face had told Lucas Kira was in trouble. That meant Lucas had to see Kira first.
As he walked in the loft, he felt how quiet it was. Del and one of the elf protectors, Tamblith, were standing watch, their hands on their swords.
Lucas noted their alert stances. “Where's Kira?” Lucas asked the elf.
"She went into the kitchen some time ago,” Tamblith answered. “We were just going to check on her. We heard a crash."
Lucas swore under his breath and hurried to the swinging kitchen door. As he pushed through, he saw Kira standing frozen in a puddle of spilled milk streaked with blood.
"Kira ... are you all right?"
When he got no answer, Lucas snatched her up in his strong arms and set her on the counter. Her body was stiff and unresponsive. “Honey? Can you hear me?"
She finally blinked and focused on the man standing close in front of her. “Lucas?"
He sighed, grateful she had come out of it. “You cut your foot. Hang on ... let me clea
n it up for you."
He grabbed a clean towel and carefully wiped off her foot. When he saw the gash, he swore lightly and firming his lips, tried a healing spell on it. He wasn't as comfortable with the magick as the others were, but after a few moments the cut closed up, so it only looked a little red and swollen.
"What the hell happened here?"
She stared at him, her mind still smarting from the knowledge Gallegar had deliberately shut her out, and her eyes filled with tears. “Gallegar will not let me into his room at Sanctuary. He is angry with me."
Lucas frowned. This was unexpected. “And why is he angry with you?"
She answered him without thinking. “I told him I did not love him anymore."
Lucas caught his breath and his heart slammed in his chest. “You don't?” he croaked. When Kira sadly shook her head, he tried to feel bad for Gallegar, but all he could think was ... I won!
"Oh, honey,” he said. He gathered her into his powerful arms. “I knew it all along. It was you and me, right from the start.” Dropping his head, he kissed her.
Kira went still in surprise. This wasn't what she'd meant, but Lucas had taken her words to mean she had chosen him. Now what was she to do?
Confronted with the truth, she realized she'd never felt for him the way she did for Gallegar. No! I do not love you. I cannot do this.
He didn't notice her hesitation. He was making up for lost time, his mouth searching hers, looking for the emotion he was expecting to find. Again and again he kissed her. His mouth touched her lips, her forehead, her chin, before going back and taking her mouth again.
After a while, Lucas raised his head, suddenly aware she was not kissing him back. “Kira?” His voice was hoarse, with pent-up need and desire.
She swallowed. Her voice broke when she answered him. “I am so sorry, my wolf. I do not love you either."
* * * *
Lucas drove aimlessly, knowing he should head to The Keep, but Kira's words had driven all thought from his mind. He was numb.