She was falling in love with him all over again.
She raised her head from the pillow, felt her eyes go wide at the realization. Katie was still there in the doorway, waiting.
"Oh no," Kelsey breathed.
"You should tell him before you get in any deeper."
How much deeper was there to go when she was already in love with him?
Chapter 9
Kelsey rushed out of the attorney’s office as if the soles of her sneakers were on fire. The weather had warmed over the last week, and the bright autumn sun warmed her head and shoulders.
She wished for a thunderstorm to match her mood.
"Wait up," Katie called out, exiting the Main Street storefront behind her.
Kelsey hurried to unlock her car and get in. In her desire to escape, she must’ve hit the unlock all button, because Katie slipped into the passenger seat before she could crank the engine.
Kelsey leveled a look on her sister.
Katie didn't look one iota apologetic. "What are you so upset about? We did it. The house is cleaned out. And now the probate is settled."
Kelsey's look turned into a glare. "I'm upset because no one in there listened to me."
"It was Mama's will. It’s impossible to argue with a dead woman."
So? Her sister's logic didn't make Kelsey feel any better.
She turned her glare out the windshield, wishing her sister would get out of the car. "I didn't want anything from her."
"I got that. Anybody who knew the two of you got that. Maybe it's time to make peace."
Kelsey blew out a sigh. "There's nothing left to settle. She didn't believe I could make it to the Olympics, and I proved her wrong."
"Do you really think Mama didn't believe in you?"
"She didn't. She said it enough." Kelsey flexed her hands on the wheel, remembering all the times Mama had told her to dream smaller.
She was tired of sitting here, tired of Taylor Hills, tired of the memories that clung to her like sweaty clothes at the end of a run. Chafing to the point of pain.
She started the car. If Katie wouldn't get out, she could take a ride back to the house and walk back to get her car later.
"It wasn't that she didn't believe in you. She just knew how hard life is. She of all people, right?"
Kelsey didn’t have an answer for that. She knew how many hard knocks her mom had taken. Abandoned by her dad. Husband left. Cheated out of a year of pay by an unscrupulous boss.
It didn't change things.
"She didn't want you to get your heart broken. She wanted to protect you."
Kelsey pulled out during a lull in traffic. "That's not what it felt like."
Katie blasted out a sigh. "Fine. Think what you want. What are you going to do with your half of the estate?"
"Nothing." She didn't want it. She'd been frugal with the money she'd received from her post-Olympic endorsements and had a nice chunk still socked away in her savings account. "I don't need the money. Mama might've tried to buy my forgiveness with it, but I'm not selling. I’ll give my share to you."
"I'm not taking your half.”
Kelsey pulled into the drive and turned off the car. She could find a way to force Katie to take the money. She could buy new appliances for the café kitchen and have them delivered. Katie wouldn't be able to turn them away.
She tapped her left foot on the floorboards. Man, her feet were itching.
"The only way you'd get me to take the money is if you stay in Taylor Hills and run the café with me."
The bottom dropped out of Kelsey's stomach and she clenched the steering wheel tightly. Slowing for a stoplight pulled even more tension into her shoulders.
How could Katie suggest such a thing? Kelsey hated that place.
"It hasn't been so bad, being here with me, has it?" Katie asked. "I thought we've been getting along pretty well."
"Yeah, but..."
But what? How could she tell her sister she didn’t feel at home here?
Even as she thought the words, her mind went to Matt.
Katie knew too much. "And Matt’s here. Doesn't seem like he's leaving."
"He might." Even as Kelsey blurted the words, she doubted their truth. He’d settled in at the Triple H. Had she secretly wished he'd say something different? Like that he was leaving?
Katie didn't challenge her, but her tone of voice changed from argumentative to resigned. "You could make your home here. Taylor Hills isn't so bad."
The itch in her feet got worse. She shifted the foot not on the brake pedal, but that small movement didn't alleviate it.
"I can't." She swallowed against the truth of it. "I have to go."
The weather had warmed, allowing Matt and the cowhands to do some needed repairs to the fence in the far west pasture. It was taking longer than he’d anticipated, thanks to some rotted fence posts in a little gully.
The steepness of the terrain played havoc on the muscles in his legs, as he was constantly balancing on an incline while pulling out old posts and replacing them with new ones.
Down the line, Trey and Nate worked in tandem.
Matt took a break as the slant of the afternoon sun changed. He climbed out of the gully and went to the pickup to grab his water jug. He'd quenched his thirst and wiped his mouth with his wrist when he saw someone headed his way. She was a silhouette on the horizon where the gentle hills rolled.
Kelsey. She wore running leggings and a loose long-sleeved T-shirt. As she neared, he saw she was drenched in sweat, as if she'd run all the way out here. Again.
He dumped the jug in the truck bed and stated toward her. On second thought... he turned back and got the jug out again.
Her eyes were slightly wild and unfocused as he neared.
He extended the canteen, and she took it with a grateful smile and a short nod.
"What's the matter?" he asked as she drank greedily.
She shook her head, capping the water.
He waited her out. Something had sent her all the way out here.
Her eyes flicked his way and then off again. "Mama's probate got settled, finally."
He took the hit silently. The settlement was the only thing that had kept Kelsey tethered to town.
He didn't know if their relationship was strong enough to keep her here.
"I'll bet your glad to have it done with," he said.
She shrugged, her eyes still focused far off. "Katie and I got into an argument. About Mama."
He knew her mom was one of her hot buttons. "You want to talk about it?"
"Not really. I had something else in mind." Now she shot him a hopeful look. "Things have been...different for us since you came back home."
Yeah, because he couldn't remember breaking things off.
"I was wondering...or hoping maybe..." She stopped to take a deep breath. "Is there any way we can keep this going after I head back to Houston? I mean...maybe commute on the weekends or maybe you eventually decide to move on from the Triple H..."
Oh, wow. All the ways he'd imagined this might go, this hadn't been one of them. She was inviting him to tag along with her.
He was close enough to reach for her and he used one hand to tip her face back. He examined her eyes, the slight wrinkle across her smooth forehead, the tension around her mouth. What had prompted this? He couldn’t tell if what he was seeing in her eyes was hope… or fear.
He loved her, but he’d promised Gideon in that email that he’d run the Triple H. He'd spent the last weeks re-learning the lay of the land, reconnecting with his roots and the family property.
Carrie and Scarlett depended on their share of the income from the Triple H. With Gideon out of the picture, the weight of keeping the place afloat fell to Matt.
He couldn't walk away from it. He was needed here.
But he couldn't walk away from the woman he loved, either.
"It's definitely something to think about," he said carefully, aware that he might be stepping into a minefield.
>
"Something to think about," she repeated softly. A shadow passed behind her eyes.
"What we've got is—always has been—something special."
Now that shadow deepened. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the past. He felt like he’d inched closer to one of those mines.
"Special enough that we shouldn't throw it away." He opened his arms, inviting her in and fully aware that she might pull away. He warmed with an intense flash of gratitude when she stepped into his embrace. He tipped her chin up. "I love you, Kels. I've never stopped."
He felt her quick inhale, saw the vulnerability in her face as her eyes scanned his face.
"You can't know that," she breathed. "Your memory—"
"Maybe I haven't remembered everything yet, but I just know. I've always loved you. Always known we were meant to be."
He saw the flare of panic cross her expression at his last words. Meant to be. Did that have some deeper meaning for her?
His reaction was too slow as she pushed out of his embrace. "I have to go."
"Kelsey, wait."
The way she ducked her head and wouldn't look at him put a pit of fear in his stomach.
"Kels—!"
But she was already running off, running away.
He whirled in a circle, one hand grabbing the back of his neck as he tried to decide if he should get in the pickup and follow her or let her go. Following would mean leaving Trey and Nate out in the field with their tools, and the day was almost over.
He blew out a breath. Maybe if she had some time to cool down and think, she'd stop freaking out about whatever it was that he'd said wrong.
He glanced her direction once more, but she was already gone, having flown over the horizon and out of sight.
Trey reached the top of the gully and spied his boss. Something had happened. Trey could see it in Matt's face as he approached.
Maybe this wasn't good timing, but he'd gathered his courage, and if he waited much longer, he'd chicken out.
He glanced over his shoulder. Nate was still in the gully, gathering his things.
"You got a minute, Boss?"
Matt's expression tightened. "Sure. What's up?"
Was he really going to do this? He thought about Carrie and the expression that had crossed her face when he'd said the Triple H was her home. She hadn't believed it. And he knew it was because of him.
The words wanted to stick in his throat, but he cleared it. "This might not be the best time, but... I'm giving my two weeks’ notice."
Matt jerked. He'd been putting some tools up in the truck bed but now straightened and turned to level his gaze straight at Trey. "Come again?"
"I'm quitting."
For someone like him, someone who'd sworn he'd never give up like his pops had, the words tasted like bitter failure. He wanted to yank them back, but he thought about Carrie. She deserved better.
"You can't."
Trey’s mouth twisted in what might have been a smile. He appreciated Matt's argument more than he could say.
"I have to."
"This about Carrie? Gideon mentioned something was going on between you two."
Her name was like a punch, but he took that too.
"Nope," he lied. No way was he going to create a situation where Carrie felt even more unwelcome on her own property. He couldn't shake the memory of the shadows in her eyes. "It's just time for me to move on."
Matt shook his head again. "I can't stop if you you're determined, but I'd appreciate it if you could give me more than two weeks. There's no way the boys and I can do the round-up next month without you."
They'd be shorthanded, especially with Dan gone—he was still in prison after stealing from the ranch—but Matt could hire someone temporarily.
He thought about Carrie again. And Scarlett, the little girl who needed a daddy. He'd wanted to be that.
His throat was scratchy when he spoke. "I can stay on a while, but not indefinitely. After the round-up."
It wouldn't be long. Maybe by Christmas. And then he'd be on his way. To where, he didn't know. He'd loved this job, loved the land. This job was what he'd dreamed of. The income wasn't staggering. He'd never get rich, but for someone like him, someone who loved the open land and working with animals, someone who’d come from nothing, this was a good job.
But he loved Carrie. She deserved better, and if it was him keeping her from having it, well, he couldn’t live with that.
She came first, even if it meant he lost out. He'd have to find somewhere else to belong.
He just didn't know where.
Chapter 10
Matt woke in the dark of night with a piercing pain in his head, sweating. He hadn't had an ache this bad since he'd been hospitalized after the roadside bomb.
He panted through the agony, which felt like a hot poker jabbing behind his right eye. Reached for the glass of water he knew he'd left on his bedside table. His knuckles knocked into it, sloshing water over the side of the glass and getting his hand wet before he got hold of it.
The tepid wetness in his throat did nothing to soothe the ache in his head. He had prescription pain meds that he'd never used. They were somewhere around here...in the bathroom?
He tried to stand, but the moment his feet hit the floor, his head spun and his legs buckled. He collapsed back into the bed. His head pounded even harder.
He thought about calling out, but the other guys slept upstairs. Would they be able to hear him? He wasn't sure he could muster the strength to shout.
He focused on each pulse of pain behind his eye. For a long time. Forever.
Until the split-seconds between each pain lengthened into seconds and then moments and then breaths.
And he realized that each pain was dumping memories back into his brain. He could remember laughing with his buddies in a mess hall in a desert, all of them in their uniforms, hidden tension behind their smiles. Gideon's wedding, where he'd stood up for his brother as best man. Getting a video of Scarlett's birth and that moment she'd described for him where he'd held her the very first time.
And, floating slowly to the front of his mind, as if his subconscious self knew he needed to see it...
Kelsey in a navy graduation gown and cap. The tassel kept floating into her eyes. Or maybe she was playing with it in her nervousness, as he watched from the bleachers in the high school gym. She was seated with her class of thirty in folding chairs lined up on the basketball court, in front of the moveable stage they'd erected for the event.
He hooted when she crossed the stage. She flushed a delicate pink, and he knew she'd heard him.
After the ceremony, he'd found her in a crowd of friends and family. It seemed almost everyone in Taylor Hills had shown up.
He scooped her up and twirled her in a circle. She'd giggled, her hair falling on his face.
He kissed her soundly when he put her down, not caring that they were in public.
"Where's your ma?" he asked, not wanting to get her in trouble on such an important date.
Kelsey's smile faded slightly. "She had to go back to the café. Everyone and their dog will want to eat out today to celebrate. She let me have the day off, though."
He knew the café was a point of contention between the two, knew that Kelsey hated working there and that her mom relied on her too much.
He followed her like a puppy toward the parking lot behind the gym. "Do you want to drive down to Dallas? I bet Uncle Pat knows a fancy restaurant, and we could call ahead for a reservation." He was so happy for her, proud to bursting and he knew he was rambling. "When we're married, we can do that every weekend. You deserve it."
He'd parked next to her car, in the back forty of the lot. Why had she parked back there anyway?
Her head was down as she turned to him. She was playing with her keys, her hands almost hidden in the folds of the voluminous gown. "I think we should talk."
"Okay. Shoot." He'd had no idea what was coming. Had been so blindly in love.
S
he took a deep breath. "I think we should break up."
He laughed, sure she was joking. Until the downward tilt of her chin and the fact that she wasn't looking at him cut through his confident happiness. "What? Kels, what's going on?"
When she raised her face, tears stood in her eyes, but he also saw the determined set of her jaw. "Matt, you're a small-town guy, and I... I want more than Taylor Hills. I'm going somewhere with my life."
He already knew that.
"If this is about me taking a gap year—"
"It's not. I don't want a long-distance relationship, and I don't want to be together anymore."
He didn't know where this was coming from. "If you want me to come to Houston while you're in school, I will. I can find a job—"
"That's not what I want."
Her tone was final. He knew she wasn't going to change her mind. His stomach caved in on itself.
"You don't love me anymore?" he dared to ask.
Her eyes glittered as she stared at his face, but it was a hard glitter. Not tears. "Maybe I never did."
A sucker punch. H didn't know what to say to fix this, to make it right. He stood there like a dummy while she got in her car and drove off.
He'd stuck to the Triple H and avoided town until September, well after she'd left for university.
She hadn't come back. Hadn't changed her mind.
And the small-town boy had enlisted in the USAF. Partly to prove he could be more than what she'd thought of him. And partly to get away from the memories that plagued him in Taylor Hills.
He'd been heartbroken. Still hadn't understood what was it about him that wasn't good enough for her.
She'd walked out on him.
She’d walked away, and his entire life had changed because of it. He’d changed. Enlisted. Become an airman, a good one. He’d seen enough of the world to know that Taylor Hills was just fine, thank you very much. Seen enough to know that the grass was not greener over the horizon. He was a different man because of what Kelsey had done.
And he liked the man he’d become.
He didn’t know what life would have looked like if Kelsey hadn’t broken up with him, and he couldn’t say for sure it would be better. Even with the roadside bomb, even with the amnesia, maybe this had been the better path. Maybe he had Kelsey had needed to separate to learn how much they truly meant to each other.
Kissing Kelsey: a Cowboy Fairytales spin-off (Triple H Brides Book 1) Page 7