by Jane Godman
The message was clear. Tonight he was getting a reprieve. On the following day, his brother would want to know everything.
“I thought we could order pizza?” Alyssa said when Casey had gone. “It’s getting late. And we can’t eat out.”
She indicated the sleeping figure on the sofa. Kennedy was sprawled on her back, snoring softly. Alyssa had placed the cushions from the other sofa in a line on the floor next to her. Something about the action both touched and frightened him. Concern for the baby’s safety was an instinct that came naturally to her. He’d never have thought of this particular gesture.
I have so much to learn.
“I get it now. That’s why Sean did this. No more beers after a long day. If the guys from work are going for seafood or pasta or Thai, I’ll have to pass. I can’t stay up all night watching movies, or go for an early morning run. And...” He clapped a hand to his forehead in mock despair. “I’ll have to get a family car.”
Alyssa regarded him with amusement. “You think your former best friend is controlling your life from beyond the grave?”
“I wouldn’t put it past the guy.” He drew his cell phone from his pocket. “Pizza Paradise has my regular order. How about you? Still sticking with the boredom special? Goat cheese and red onion?”
“You remembered?”
“Four years is a long time.” It was true. Although he wasn’t sure whether he was talking about the four years they’d been together, or the four years since they’d split up. One of those stretches always seemed much longer than the other. “And we did eat a lot of pizza.”
“Yeah.” Her smile still had the power to warm his whole body. “The same as always for me. And I checked your refrigerator.” Her little shudder took him back in time. “Add some diet soda to the order, please.”
He placed the order, and, when he ended the call, Alyssa had switched into serious mode. “There’s something I need to speak to you about.”
“I was being a jerk. I’ll move my stuff into the small bedroom after we’ve eaten.”
“Thank you. But that’s not what I was going to say.” She waved a hand to indicate the boxes. “Patty Griffiths said they only brought the basics. The rest of Kennedy’s belongings are at the house her parents owned.”
“Well, that’s where they can stay. We can’t fit anything else in here.”
“Exactly. Everett, look at all of this.” She held out a framed picture to him as she spoke. “Look how much they loved their little girl. I just can’t believe that Sean would have chosen to leave Kennedy all alone by killing himself and Delilah.”
* * *
Everett stacked Kennedy’s boxes neatly along one wall, which meant they could place the pizza on the coffee table. While they ate, Alyssa sat on the sofa next to Kennedy and Everett piled cushions on the floor and sprawled at her feet. It was a moment of normality in a day that had taken unreal to a whole new level. She still didn’t know why he’d taken off so abruptly, or why he’d asked Casey to come over. She figured he would tell her in his own time, and already knew she wasn’t going to like the explanation.
“Patty brought a cool bag with some jars of baby food, so Kennedy will have something to eat when she wakes up.” Alyssa smiled as she looked at the little girl. “But tomorrow, I’ll need to go shopping.”
“Have you thought about what this really means?” She figured Everett was entitled to the note of skepticism she could hear in his voice. “I don’t just mean shopping for diapers and formula. What about your job? Your home? My place in Phoenix?” He ran a hand through his hair in a gesture that was as familiar as her own reflection in the mirror. “And what about us? After all this time, how are we supposed to do this together?”
After her relationship with Everett ended, Alyssa had accepted that theirs, like all other love stories, was unique. It was like a quilt, made of scraps and pieces that once held so much meaning. Everything they had done together had left a mark on her life. Every time she thought she was ready to move on, something would happen to remind her of those vibrant threads of color that bound her to him.
But the reality was simpler and less poetic. Breaking up had been the only logical way of dealing with her fears about his job, but she had never stopped caring for him. And leaving him had been like trying to blow up a life vest while drowning. If they’d ended things because the feelings had gone, this conversation would have been different.
But she knew what he was saying. Taking on Sean and Delilah’s baby was a huge commitment. Their history would make it a thousand times harder. They had gone their separate ways, only to have their worlds shaken off-course years later in the blink of an eye by the wishes of a dead couple. In the end, it came down to one thing. The right thing.
“This is not about us. Kennedy needs a family. Today, a twist of fate made us her mom and dad. I’ll do whatever it takes.” She gave him a direct stare. “I took a couple of days leave of absence to come here and I’m going to email the principal of my school in the morning and request maternity leave.”
There was a challenge in the words. Over to you.
He held her gaze for a moment or two before looking down at the beer in his hand. And that was what she had expected. Professionally, he was razor-sharp and one of the most successful agents in his field office. In his private life, Everett didn’t do tough decision making. Keep it comfortable or walk away. During their relationship, he had never deviated from that rule.
“You’re sure I can’t tempt you to try a slice of pepperoni with extra anchovies?”
Ignoring the deliberate attempt to distract her with the tried-and-tested pizza line he’d always used, she forced the conversation back on track. “As far as our living situation goes, this place probably isn’t ideal. But with the holidays coming up, I think we have to make the best of it for now.”
“You mean we take turns to breathe?”
“I’d forgotten what a funny guy you are, Colton.” She pulled a face at him. “I mean we make this a nice home for Kennedy, and we give her a family Christmas.” She frowned. “Her first Christmas.”
Everett was silent for a moment or two. When he spoke again, there was a new tone in his voice. “I came back to Cactus Creek to investigate a murder. Pierce Tostig was a ranch hand at Selectman Clarence Edison’s OverHerd Ranch. Casey was investigating a rustling case and he found the body near the corpse of one of the stolen cows. Sean, Delilah and Georgia were behind the operation, and confessed their involvement in Tostig’s death when they cornered Casey and another of Edison’s ranch hands, Melody Hayworth, at gunpoint. Luckily, Melody—who is now Casey’s girlfriend—made an SOS call and I was able to track their location. I arrived with a team of agents in time to arrest the rustlers.”
“So when he died, Sean was awaiting arraignment for a potential murder charge as well as cattle rustling?”
“That’s right.” His face was turned slightly away from her, but she could see the tension in the fine muscles of his jaw. “He rammed that fancy car of his right into a wall, killing himself and Delilah rather than face prison. At least that’s what the suicide note that was taped to the dash said.” She noticed his fist clench tight against his thigh. “There was just one small problem with that note.”
Alyssa waited. They weren’t touching, but she could feel the emotion coursing through him. When he looked up, the pain in his eyes made her breath catch.
“It wasn’t in Sean’s writing.”
“Could Delilah have written it?” she asked.
Slowly, he shook his head. “I compared it to samples of Delilah’s writing, as well. Neither of them wrote that note.”
* * *
Kennedy woke up just after Everett told Alyssa about the suicide note, and he was glad for a break so he could rein in his emotions. Although he had submitted a report to his senior special agent expressing his opinion that Sean and Delilah’s de
aths were suspicious, he had not yet been given the go-ahead to officially investigate further.
As he cleared away the remnants of the takeout meal, he watched Alyssa with the baby. Kennedy got more food on her face and bib than she did in her mouth, but she appeared to enjoy holding her own spoon and hammering out a drumbeat on the tray of her high chair. When she was finished, Alyssa deftly wiped her down and scooped her up. The little girl chuckled delightedly.
“She needs to get into a bedtime routine.” She looked across at Everett. “How about we do bath time together?”
“You mean just you and me in the tub, right? Because I’m not sure I’m ready for the three of us.” Alyssa gave an outraged snort and he held up his hands. “I’m new to this parenting thing, remember?”
She quirked an eyebrow at him, letting him know he wasn’t fooling anyone. “I’ll get her bath ready.”
Seconds later, his arms were full of warm, wriggling baby. Kennedy gave a delighted squeal as she tried to poke a finger up his nose.
“Hey.” He caught hold of her hand. “I think you and I should establish a few ground rules. Firstly... Whoa! What is that smell?”
It was like a combination of bad eggs and rotting garbage. He regarded the baby with suspicion. Surely that aroma couldn’t be coming from such a cute little body? As if to confirm his worst fears, Kennedy’s stomach gave a loud gurgle. It was instantly followed by a series of popping sounds in the diaper region. The smell grew stronger.
He held the little girl at arm’s length. “Alyssa?”
She emerged from the bathroom with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. “Yes?”
“I think there’s something wrong with Kennedy.”
Coming to the sofa, she leaned over his shoulder. Kennedy greeted her with an aimless wave and a fresh volley of stinky blasts.
“What makes you think that?”
Was it possible Alyssa had lost her sense of smell in the time they’d been apart? “Are you serious? I’ve supervised a drunk tank full of men who have spent a night consuming Mexican food and cheap beer. It didn’t come close to that level of toxicity.”
Alyssa laughed. “Her digestive system is immature and she’s still adjusting to solid food. A little gas is hardly surprising.”
She headed back into the bathroom.
“A little gas?” Everett studied Kennedy’s face. “I dread to think what you can achieve when you decide to fill a diaper.” She gave him a cheeky grin. “That wasn’t a challenge.”
A few minutes later, the complex preparations were complete. There was a brief power struggle when Kennedy seemed to feel that parting with her clothing was unnecessary. Everett watched in admiration as Alyssa won the battle with ease and placed the red-faced infant in the bathtub inside something that resembled a medieval torture device.
“It’s a bathing seat,” she explained in response to his raised eyebrows. “It means she can sit up safely without slipping around. And we have our hands free to wash her.”
It was yet another item on the growing list of “things Everett didn’t know about babies.” He wasn’t given any more time to ponder his inadequacies. Within seconds of Alyssa beginning to rub baby shampoo into Kennedy’s hair, most of the water had left the tub and was sloshing around on the floor.
Washcloth in hand, Alyssa fought on, attempting to clean every part of the shrieking, laughing little girl while Everett helped hold her still. In the end, she turned to look at Everett. “I think she’s clean enough now. At six months, she’s not mobile enough to get really grubby.”
“Shouldn’t you at least try to wash the, uh, delicate parts properly?” Everett wiped soapy water off his face and plowed back into the fray. “They get the dirtiest, after all.”
Although she was giving him a look of dislike, he couldn’t help noticing the way Alyssa’s drenched blouse clung to her curves. He’d missed those curves.
“You try.” She handed him the cloth and stepped back.
Kneeling at the side of the tub, he approached with caution. Kennedy, clearly aware she was dealing with a rookie, waited until he got in close, then grabbed him by the hair.
“This may be a two-person job, after all.” Alyssa came to his aid, freeing him from the chubby-fisted death grip.
“I’ll lift, you clean.”
To howls of protest from Kennedy, they completed the maneuver before collapsing side by side against the tiled wall.
“You know what?” Everett panted. “In future, I think a thorough clean each diaper change should take care of those bits.”
He ducked just in time to avoid the washcloth Alyssa threw at his head.
* * *
Once she was warm and dry after her bath, Kennedy was drowsy and ready for her bedtime bottle of formula.
“Why don’t you give it to her?” Alyssa held the onesie-clad baby out to Everett.
He paused for a moment, then took Kennedy from her and tucked the little girl into the crook of his arm. As soon as she saw the bottle, she reached for it, pulling it to her mouth and sucking greedily. Within minutes she was asleep.
Alyssa eased the bottle away from her and placed it on the coffee table. When she looked up, Everett was watching her face.
“She’s a lucky little girl to have found you.”
The lump in her throat was less about the words and more about his tone of voice. Don’t do this to me, Everett. This is day one. We have years ahead of us. Birthdays, holidays, starting school, boyfriends, graduation... The thought frightened her less than the intensity in his eyes.
“She has us both.” She brushed a stray curl off Kennedy’s forehead, and raised the question that had been at the back of her mind all day. “I know why I’m doing this. What about you?”
“Oh, come on, Alyssa.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “When you asked Ray Torrington what would happen to Kennedy if we said no and then you gave me that look, you knew I wouldn’t be able to resist you.”
She shook her head. “Not good enough. That answer might work if we were still together and deciding where to eat out or go on our next vacation. But this is about being mom and dad to a baby. It’s a lifelong commitment.”
He was silent for a moment or two. “First of all, you did influence my decision. Because there is no way I would have done this with anyone other than you.”
And there goes the last of my composure...
When he spoke again, his voice was little more than a whisper. “But you’re right. Just like you, I will be doing this properly, starting with a request to my boss for a leave of absence. And the reason I’ll be doing it is that it’s for Sean.”
“Because you don’t think he killed himself?”
“Even if he did—and despite his crimes—we were friends once.” He tilted his head back against the cushions. “I remember one summer when we were in high school, we got into a prank war. Neither of us could back down from a challenge. Sean thought it would be funny to use duct tape to fasten the handle of my school locker closed just when we had an important assignment due in. In revenge, I coated the seat of his bike in peanut butter. The jokes got wilder, until, one day, I enlisted Casey’s help. We were holding Sean down and filling his shorts with ice cubes when my mom walked in. She took one look, said, ‘I’ll give you boys some privacy,’ and walked out again.”
Although she had only met Maribelle Colton a few times, Alyssa could picture the scene. “Your mom likes to keep it classy.”
“Always.” He smiled. “The point is, I have a hundred stories about Sean. We kept those challenges going into adulthood, always trying to get the better of each other. But our friendship wasn’t all pranks. There was the time I tumbled into the creek and he jumped in to save me. Or when he fell off a wall and cut his head open, so I rode home with him on my crossbar. He screwed up with the way he treated Casey, but the earlier memories didn’t die.” He l
ooked down at Kennedy. “When he entrusted his child to me, he knew I would be there for her.”
Alyssa bowed her head. In all the years she’d known him, this was the most Everett had ever opened up to her. She’d never understood why he felt the need to conceal his emotions and had spent too many hours wondering whether he was trying to prevent conflict, protect her from hurt, or avoid worrying her. Would things have worked out differently if he’d been able to express his feelings?
She gave a tiny shake of her head. It wasn’t his emotional detachment that had ended their relationship. Everett had been the one to suggest taking things to the next level. He’d asked her to move in with him and Alyssa had acted like a jackrabbit when it heard the cry of a wolf. Dating Agent Everett Colton had been difficult enough. Knowing he went out to work every day and put himself in danger was hard, but she could just about switch off from it and enjoy the time they spent together. If she lived with him, if she was watching the clock, waiting for him to come home at the end of each day...?
“We should get this little one into her crib.” And leave the past where it belongs.
Everett shuffled to the edge of the sofa and got cautiously to his feet. Carrying her as though she was a piece of priceless china, he took the baby through to the master bedroom. Earlier that evening, he had positioned her crib next to the bed, and Alyssa had placed the photograph of Kennedy with her parents on a nearby side table.
After spending a few moments shifting back and forth to find the right position, he lowered her into the crib.
Kennedy made a soft noise of protest and Everett gave Alyssa a look of pure panic. She shook her head and pointed toward the door. Like teenagers sneaking out to a party, they tiptoed from the room.
Alyssa choked back a laugh as she switched on the baby monitor she’d found in one of the boxes. “The look on your face.”
“What do you mean?” he whispered, sneaking a look over his shoulder at the closed bedroom door.