“When you say we should live here, you mean the way things have been?”
“No, the way I think we both want it to be.”
Hope rose up so swift, her throat ached. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and she prayed he meant what she thought he said, but she didn’t say. She’d spent too many days and weeks hoping for this.
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I talked to Jack and Sam today. Well, yesterday at this point. I told them I have feelings for you. Deep feelings, and I want to be with you.”
“You do?”
“More than anything, but you already know that.”
“And my meddling brothers gave you their blessing?”
“Sam already knew how we felt about each other.”
“He’s an FBI agent. Nothing much gets past him.”
“Jack didn’t take it as well at first.”
“But he’s your friend and knows you aren’t messing around.”
“I’m not messing around,” he confirmed, giving her one of those deep, penetrating stares that said so much when they’d been unable to speak to each other about how they really felt. He didn’t want a casual affair, dating just to have fun with no strings attached.
“This is serious.”
“Yes,” he confirmed.
Her stomach did a flip-flop. She held back the joyful squeal. He looked far too serious for her to go all girly on him.
“How serious?”
“We’ve wasted so much time already, and while I want to do this right, I don’t want to draw this out for months.”
So the man took all this time to finally come around and now he was in a hurry to bind her to him.
“We’re on the same page.” She hid another secret smile. Oh, he might think he had this all planned out, but she had plans for him, too.
It hurt her to see him dig the heels of his hands into his tired eyes and exhale so deeply she felt his relief.
She went to him, stood between his knees, and combed her fingers through his short brown hair. “It’s okay, I’m not mad it took you forever to tell me you want to be with me.”
He laughed and wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his forehead to her belly. “You should be.”
“The point is, now we can be together and you have a clear conscience.”
“I wish I did.”
“I thought you said Jack is okay with our seeing each other.”
“He is. It’s not about him, but other stuff.”
“The stuff that keeps you from sleeping.”
He fell back against the couch and stared up at her, so much turmoil in his sad eyes. “The things I’ve seen, and even worse, done, haunt me. Maybe after everything I’ve been through, I’m not the right man for you, or anybody.”
“Caleb,” she whispered, “you are a good and decent man. It takes a brave and strong man to do the necessary things you did and survive.”
He reached for her hand and pulled her down on the couch next to him. He needed to talk about his time in Iraq and put it behind him.
“Tell me about your life over there. How did you and Jack spend your days?”
“You don’t want to hear about any of that.”
“I think you need to remember that there were moments when things were good.”
“Being here with you is good.”
“You will always be with me.”
“Do you mean that?”
“If it’s what you want.”
Caleb didn’t say anything, just reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand, his fingers sliding into her hair. She leaned into his touch and gave him a smile. Something he had a hard time doing most days.
“Did you and Jack live in a tent? How hot was it there?”
She hoped the innocuous questions would get him talking. Reluctantly, he gave her the answers. She waited patiently, and with a sigh, he elaborated and told her one story after another. He talked about the people, the children, and the markets. How he had to be on guard at all times against roadside IEDs and suicide bombers. He talked about Jack and the team of soldiers they worked with and the kind of work they did.
Late, his voice trailed off after a cute story about playing soccer with some of the local boys, and he and Jack coaxing some of the little girls to play, too.
She sat beside him, her head on his shoulder, listening and letting him talk about the ghosts he lived with. He leaned in and kissed her forehead.
“Now, when I sleep, I see nothing but the enemy coming at me through the dark, and my guard goes up and my heart pounds, and it’s all I can do not to sit watch with a gun in my hand praying for daylight.”
Those words tore her heart to shreds. After everything he’d been through, he couldn’t even find peace in sleep.
He went quiet after that, staring into the dying fire as the quiet wrapped around them. She shifted into the corner of the couch and pulled his hand to make him lie with her.
“I’ll squish you, sweetheart.”
“Tonight, I’ll keep watch and you sleep.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she put her fingertips to his lips. “Just try.”
He settled onto the sofa, toeing off his shoes, and settling between her legs with his back to her chest and his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her legs around his waist, one arm over his chest, her hand over his heart. She brushed her fingers through his hair again and again. It took a few minutes before he relaxed into her and his breathing evened out. She leaned in and kissed his temple, still brushing her fingers through his hair. She stared at the flames in the fire and sighed.
“You’re safe with me,” she whispered.
His big hand covered hers on his chest. Within seconds, the tension in him gave way, and he fell asleep in her arms.
She stayed awake, watching over him until the predawn twilight broke the dark night. Sometime later, Caleb shifted to his stomach, dragging her beneath him. He slept with his head on her breasts and his arms wrapped around her.
That’s how Jack found them when he tapped her shoulder to wake her.
She squinted against the bright morning sun. Jack held up his hands in a gesture to ask. What’s up with Caleb?
She pointed to her forehead and then held her hand up with her index and thumb held up like a gun. That’s all Jack needed to understand Caleb couldn’t sleep because he’d been having nightmares. She wondered how many nights Jack lay awake at night, alone, and wishing for someone to protect and watch over him so he could find some peace.
Jack reached over to wake Caleb, but she grabbed hold of his wrist and held him off with a glare. He tried to pull free, but she gave him a dirty look, and he relented, so she released him.
“She’s fierce, isn’t she?” Caleb asked, opening his eyes and raising his head from her chest to stare up at Jack.
“She can be.”
Caleb rubbed at his eyes with one hand and met her gaze. He smiled. “Hey,” he said, looking rested and good.
“Good morning.”
“Yes, it is.” His gaze roamed down Summer’s face to her breasts. He shot Jack a sheepish look, but didn’t apologize for where he’d spent the night.
“I take it I’m late for work.”
“By more than four hours. It’s after ten.”
Surprised, Caleb met Summer’s steady gaze and silently thanked her with a look. She brushed her fingers through his hair as she’d done so many times last night that the gesture felt familiar now.
“Sorry, man, I overslept.”
Jack studied Caleb for a minute before he answered. “The point is, you slept.”
Caleb might have taken that answer to mean he’d slept and not spent the night making love to the woman underneath him. They didn’t often talk about it, but they shared the same experiences and suffered many of the same consequences.
“I have Summer to thank for that. She found me wandering outside last night.”
“Yeah, I heard you leave.”
Which
meant Jack hadn’t slept either, and Caleb hadn’t made it out to help Jack with the horses this morning, leaving him to do all the work.
“Sorry. I’ll get dressed and be down to help you . . .”
“I’ll see you when you get there,” Jack said with an easy tone and turned and walked out the front door like nothing happened or mattered.
Caleb laid his head back on Summer’s breasts, indulging the raging beast inside him even as he ruthlessly beat him back from taking her right here on the couch. She’d saved him from another sleepless night, and he wouldn’t repay her generosity by forgoing all the things they’d denied each other these last months. She deserved better, and he’d give it to her no matter how hard his body protested the self-imposed celibacy. He’d gotten through it this long, he could hang on until they shared a few dates, cemented their relationship on solid ground, and solidified their bond to each other.
Her fingers worked through his hair in that hypnotic way that eased all his muscles and made all the thoughts in his head disappear.
“What time do you have to be at work?” he asked, wishing for more time to stay like this, but knowing they both had responsibilities.
“An hour ago.”
He shot up and leaned over her with his hands on both sides of her shoulders. “Ah, honey, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I fell asleep, too. Besides, you needed the rest.” Her hands came up to cup his face. “You look so good this morning.”
“How could I not, waking up with you?”
She smiled, leaned up, and kissed him. He kept things light, brushing his lips against hers like he had all the time in the world.
She fell back into the pillow and smiled up at him. “Want to play hooky with me today?”
“Yes, but . . .”
“You’re already late and you don’t want to give Jack any reason to think you and I seeing each other is a bad thing.”
“You know me so well.”
“You better get up then.”
“I don’t want to,” he teased, rocking his hard cock against her sweet center where his hips rested between her wide thighs.
“I’m already late, another hour won’t matter.” Completely serious, her gaze locked on his.
“Ah, Summer, you deserve so much better.”
“I have exactly what I want.” Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck. She pulled him down for a kiss that turned hot and needy in seconds. His tongue slid past hers while her hands roamed down his back to the hem of his shirt. Her fingers slipped beneath and skimmed up his bare skin, sending a shiver down his spine. He kissed a trail down her neck to the swell of her breast. He licked the round softness and grabbed her shirt with his fingertips and dragged it down, taking her hard nipple into his mouth. She arched up, offering him more, and he took it, hungry to bury himself in her soft heat.
She rocked her hips, grinding herself against the hard length of him, making him groan. The woman was lethal. He shifted and her leg fell off the couch, her foot hitting the floor with a soft thud, bringing him back to his senses. He didn’t want to make love the first time in a frenzied need on the couch. He wanted her in a bed, where they had all the space they needed to explore and the time to do it right without the outside world intruding.
With a heavy heart, he released her sweet breast from his lips, kissed the rounded top, and laid his forehead to hers, taking in deep breaths to calm his raging body and leash the inner beast again.
“Woman, you’re going to be the death of me.”
“Don’t stop and we’ll both die happy.” She slid her hands down his back to his ass and squeezed while pushing him closer to her. He nearly disgraced himself.
In one swift motion, he gave her a quick kiss and pushed off her to stand beside the couch, looking down at her adorably rumpled hair and clothes and the gorgeous woman beneath.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
Her smile and brilliant blue eyes softened at his words.
“What time will you be home from work?” he asked.
“About six-thirty. Why?”
“Have dinner with me.”
“Okay.”
“I need a cold shower before I go to work. I’ll see you tonight.” He made it two steps out the door and went back. She sat on the sofa and looked up at him. He leaned down, gave her a quick kiss good-bye, and grabbed his shoes from beside her pretty feet.
“Forgot my shoes.”
Her giggle followed him all the way out the door and down the steps. It made him feel light and happy. He carried that feeling with him through the day.
Chapter Nine
CALEB HIT THE bottom of the stairs, stood in the foyer, and checked his watch. He had an hour. Probably not enough time to do all the things he planned, but he’d rush and hopefully give Summer a really great surprise.
“Where are you going?” Jack came down the stairs freshly showered, too.
“Over to Summer’s place. I’m surprising her with dinner.”
“She’ll be surprised if it turns out edible.” Jack slapped him on the back and laughed.
Caleb joined him, and some of the tension in his gut eased. “So, you’re cool with this?”
“Look, any other woman, I’d be all for it. This is my sister, which means you’ll be extra careful about the way you treat her. Not that you aren’t nice to women in general, but . . . ah, you know what I mean. So, yeah, we’re cool.”
Caleb smacked Jack on the back and headed for the kitchen to grab the rest of his supplies.
“Need some help?”
“I’ll take the box, you take the bag.”
Caleb turned to grab the bag from Jack at his truck and found him with his face practically inside the thing.
“Wine, pasta, sauce.” Jack pulled out the flowers. “Pink roses. All her favorites. You went all the way to town to get her flowers?”
“After I hit the grocery store. Yeah.”
“Did you get any work done today?”
“Not much,” Caleb said with a sheepish smile. “I want to do this right. You may not want to hear this, but I have some making up to do with Summer for all the times I avoided her, or made it seem like this thing between us wasn’t really there at all. I hurt her feelings more times than I care to count. I’m moving forward, and that woman is going to be mine by Christmas.”
For a second he thought he’d gone too far, revealed too much.
Jack’s face lit up, and he let out a hearty laugh. “You’ve got it bad, man.”
“You have no idea.”
“Please, no details.” Jack held up his hand and made a disgusted face. Caleb laughed with him and it felt like old times. “What’s with the tree and other boxes in the back?”
“She’s so into the Christmas tradition thing, I thought she might like to have a small tree at the cabin. I’m going to set it up before she gets home with some of the extra decorations.”
“Want some help?”
“Actually, I’d like to do it myself.”
“She’ll love it.”
“I want to make her happy.”
“The tree, flowers, dinner, her favorite dessert, whatever else you’ve got planned tonight.” Jack went quiet for a second. “I don’t want to think or know what you’ve got planned for later tonight. All of it, you, will make her happy.”
“Thanks, Jack. I gotta go if I’m going to get all this set up before she gets home.”
“Call my cell if you need me to stall her. I can ask her up to the house for some reason or another.”
Caleb nodded and climbed behind the wheel and drove across the property to the cabin. He might not be a gourmet cook, but he could throw together a decent meal. Pasta sauce soon simmered on the stove. A green salad sat on the dining table.
To shake off his nerves, he set up the fresh-cut pine in the living room and decorated the boughs with soft white lights, and green, red, and silver glass balls.
Next, he built a fire and set it ablaze.
Yes, the cozy living room looked perfect.
He checked his watch and his heart raced. Summer would be home any minute. He set the table and grabbed the wine glasses out of the cupboard just as Summer’s car pulled up out front. He met her just as she came in the door, flowers in his hand.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“What’s all this?”
“Dinner.”
“Is Jack coming?”
“Let me clarify.” He stepped close, wrapped his free hand around her back, and pulled her close, his lips meeting hers just as she gasped when her body slammed into his. He took complete possession, sliding his tongue along hers in one long sweep. She melted into him, and something inside him sighed with such relief he felt a hundred pounds lighter. He ended the kiss with a soft brush of his lips over hers.
“Dinner date.”
“Huh?”
“Our first date. Jack is not invited.”
“Something’s burning.”
“Me for you.”
“No. Well, yes, but something in the kitchen is burning.”
Caleb smashed the flowers into her chest and hands and ran for the kitchen, pulling the bread from the broiler just in the nick of time. The edges were a bit dark, but overall, it remained edible.
“Caleb?”
“Yeah, honey.”
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t mean the meat sauce he poured over the pasta. He stuffed the large spoon into the bowl and mixed the two together and sprinkled the whole thing with a heavy dusting of Parmesan cheese. His thoughts in order, he gave her the only answer that really made sense.
He took the flowers from her hand and set them on the counter before drawing her close.
“I’m making up for lost time. When I got here, I didn’t feel anything. Numb from the inside out. The war . . . I thought it killed everything good inside of me. Then you came along. As much as my nightmares keep me awake, you share the blame.”
Summer turned and stared at the beautiful dining room table set with her pretty dishes and crystal wine glasses, flowers, and a dozen flickering votive candles. The fire crackled in the stone hearth, adding to the intimate atmosphere. The tree glowed with tiny white lights, decorated for the holiday much like the tree they put up at the big house.
All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy Page 10