by Jo McNally
“I’m sorry, Jillie. You must be freezing. Go on up. Once I know you’re inside, I’ll take off.”
“You were probably on your way to dinner. You must be starving.” She hesitated for just a moment. In that moment he really wanted her to invite him up, but, of course, that didn’t happen. Instead, she flashed him a quick smile before turning to go. “Thanks again, Matt.”
Way too complicated. Just let her walk away.
She was on the deck before he called out to her.
“We’ve got the old ski lift working, but I need to give it a few test runs, to get acquainted with the thing. If you want a ride up to that rocky summit you like so much, I’ll be heading up there Sunday afternoon. It’ll just be us. No workers. No spectators.”
Her head started to move back and forth, then stopped. She looked down at him in silence, then gave a loud sigh. “Maybe. I’ll let you know. I’ve...I’ve got to go in.”
He watched her and Sophie go through the door. She turned and locked it, then gave him a tentative wave. For someone obsessed with privacy, it was interesting that this entire wall, right up to the peak of the A-frame roof, was glass. He lifted his hand, then headed to his car. He wasn’t sure what surprised him more. That he’d asked Jillie to ride to the top of the mountain with him, or that she’d said...maybe. As he turned the ignition, he realized he was smiling.
Chapter Five
Robbie sat by the fire, staring into the dancing flames that sent shadows across his troubled face. It struck Monica that perhaps she wasn’t the only one with stories to tell. They’d all lost something to the monsters of shadow. Maybe she wasn’t so alone after all.
Jillie stepped out of the woods on Sunday afternoon, glancing around for any activity before walking across the grassy ski slope and down to the lodge. She tried to tell herself this wasn’t strange at all. Just a woman with agoraphobia leaving her house, and her property, to go somewhere she’d never been before. Alone. To meet a man she barely knew. Perfectly normal.
Mack had been stunned into silence at the news over lunch yesterday. Jillie had met Mack, Nora and Amanda Randall at Amanda’s home. It was no ordinary home. It was a historic castle named Halcyon, built well over a hundred years ago. And rumored to be haunted. Amanda was an interior designer, and had renovated the old place into a comfortable, wide-open family home a few years ago—just before Jillie moved here. And then Amanda married its owner, Blake Randall, and they’d started a family. Halcyon was one of Jillie’s safe places to go, mostly because of its size—she never felt closed in there. And also because Amanda had become a dear and trusted friend.
“So let me get this straight,” Mack finally said. “You heard a group of people on your property at night, and reached out to Matt Danzer instead of one of us, or calling Dan?”
“Well...that’s not exactly how it happened.” She explained how she’d texted Matt first because she thought it was his workers, and then things had escalated quickly. But her friend had a point. She could have dismissed Matt and called the police chief. She’d started to, but...then Matt was on his way to her. Coming to her rescue. Mack and Nora, Amanda’s cousin, clucked their tongues and cautioned her to be careful. Amanda had remained silent.
Amanda pulled her aside after the lunch, as everyone was leaving. She’d experienced her own version of childhood trauma, being date-raped in high school. She understood Jillie’s anxiety disorder on a level few could. Amanda had brushed her long blond hair over her shoulder before grabbing Jillie’s hand.
“I know everyone’s telling you to be careful, but let’s face it—no one’s as careful with their hearts as people like you and I.” Amanda smiled. “So I’m going to tell you to...not be too careful. Careful can get lonely, as you well know. Trust your instincts, of course, but...if this Matt guy is igniting some kind of spark in you, don’t be too quick to extinguish it. See where it takes you.” She looked around the home she and her husband, Blake, had created for themselves. “Not all surprises are bad.”
See where it takes you...
Where it had taken her on this bright November Sunday was out into the open, walking to the Gallant Lake Ski Lodge to meet Matt. She walked up to the lodge, which was larger than she’d expected. And in better condition. It looked like it had a fresh coat of paint, at least.
She wouldn’t go so far as to say Matt made her feel comfortable, but...not terrible, either. Not panicked. Just...cautious. But hell, even that was an improvement over what she’d have felt with anyone else.
It wasn’t as if she’d swooned at his square-jawed smile and twinkling blue eyes. His golden hair that always looked like he’d just raked his fingers through it. Jillie stopped, feeling an unfamiliar flush under her skin. She wasn’t helping herself by cataloging all of his charms. Charms that had no effect on her at all, of course.
He stepped out of the lodge and onto the wide flagstone veranda above the parking lot, raising his hand to greet her. Even Mother Nature liked the man, as the wind ruffled his sunkissed hair.
“Do you want a tour of the lodge before we head up the mountain?”
Jillie blinked. His small SUV was the only car in the lot. But still...she and new places didn’t get along, and just being here was a huge move for her. He turned to lock the door to the lodge, calling to her over his shoulder.
“Never mind. Maybe another time. I’m feeling proud of this old place, after thinking it needed a match set to it a month ago.” He was being careful to stay on the far side of the steps as he came down. She wasn’t sure what to make of the butterfly flutter she felt in her chest at the realization that he was doing that for her. He stopped a few feet away, leaving her plenty of personal space. Another flutter. He grinned. “I’m glad you came. To be honest, I was surprised to get your text earlier.”
She didn’t want to admit that she was surprised, too. “Getting up to the summit was a temptation I couldn’t resist.” He zipped his winter jacket and gave her a wide smile. Wow. The summit wasn’t the only thing she couldn’t resist. She cleared her throat. Twice. “Uh...the lodge looks sturdier than I expected, after being empty for so long.”
He squinted up at the long, low building hugging the mountainside. “It was pretty rough when we got here. A lot rougher than I expected from the photos on the auction site.” He patted the fieldstone wall. “But we got lucky, because the structure itself is solid as a rock. It was built to last, and just needed a little love and a lot of updating.”
They walked around the building together, and he pointed proudly at each accomplishment. The new, energy-efficient windows. The fresh blue-gray stain on the cedar shake siding. The solar panels being installed on the roof. A new layer of crushed stone in the parking lot. A new heating and air-conditioning unit. A massive generator sitting on a cement pad behind the building. She’d had no idea so much work had been happening over here. The outdoor ski hut and snack bar above the lodge had been stained to match, and sported a new roof and bright yellow door and shutters. A wide swath of ground had been bulldozed and leveled nearby. He gestured toward it.
“We’re expanding the outdoor dining area. The flagstone for that is arriving this week, so it will match the veranda. It will be partially covered, and we’ll have propane heating towers to keep it as toasty as possible.” He looked over to the opposite side of the slopes from her house. “And it should be popular in the summer, after people use the Alpine slide and the zip lines.”
Her heart fell. “You’re going to be open in the summer months, too?”
“We’re going to fix up the old cement slide and add zip lines. People will be able to take the ski lift to the summit, then choose their way down. Or just take in the views from up there and ride the lift back to the lodge.” He picked up on her displeasure at the idea. “Jillie, going year-round is the only way to make any profit with this place. Getting the right temperatures for good snow cover is a gamble with global warmin
g and all that. If we have a warm winter, we won’t make enough money to survive.”
She didn’t answer. The man had a right to make a living. But the thought of this place crawling with customers year-round sent a chill through her. People wandering into the woods. Her woods. Maybe she could talk him into building a fence. They continued around the buildings in silence for a few minutes.
“Why Jillie?” he asked out of the blue. “I mean, was that your birth name?”
If he was looking for a safe new topic, that definitely wasn’t it. She swallowed hard, keeping her voice steady.
“My birth name was Jillian, but I don’t use it.”
Just like everything else her birth mother had given her, it was useless.
Matt hesitated, as if he wanted to ask more. He seemed to be simply curious.
“Jillian is a pretty name. What don’t you like about it?”
There was something about the man that inspired blunt honesty in her.
“I had a foster mother who insisted on using my full name.” They stopped at the base of the ski lift, which was also sporting a fresh coat of yellow paint. She broke eye contact, looking up the mountain. A hawk swooped between the treetops before disappearing from view. “The way she used it made me hate it.”
He paused, digesting her words with a frown. “Okay. But why Jillie instead of Jill?”
Matt was trying to make small talk. He had no way of knowing how loaded his questions were. She did her best to give him a relaxed smile.
“You don’t think Jillie suits me?”
“It doesn’t exactly scream I write horror novels, but...” He tipped his head slightly. “Yeah, I guess it suits you just fine. But Jill is the more traditional variation, right?”
She stiffened, her eyes closing tight. She could feel Ted’s hot breath across her skin in the darkness.
Don’t make a sound, Jill. Stay quiet, Jill. Don’t tell anyone, Jill.
“I told you not to call me that.” Her voice was hard. There was a beat of silence before Matt spoke.
“You did. I’m sorry.”
When her eyes finally opened, he was staring at her, but not in a way that made her uncomfortable. It was as if he was telling her with his calm, steady gaze that, as much as he might want to know more, he was done. The pressure in her chest eased a little, especially when he immediately took the conversation in a different direction.
“Do you ski at all?”
“I prefer cross-country skiing. It’s a faster way to glide through the trees than snowshoeing, and the old trails are still pretty accessible for cross-country.”
His brow arched. “You snowshoe? I never got the hang of it. Too much work.”
“It’s not hard once you get going, and it’s the only way to get through fresh powder on the trails.”
“I prefer my powder under a pair of skis, thanks.”
“You like it the easy way—downhill and fast. Got it.”
Matt’s eyes darkened a shade.
“I don’t like all things easy and fast, Jillie.”
Was he flirting with her? She couldn’t remember the last time a man actually flirted with her. Or maybe he was just being literal. But...it felt like flirting. He’d turned away rather abruptly, so she couldn’t read his expression to make a determination. He headed toward the small hut near the lift, stepping inside the doorway to power it up. When he returned, he took another conversational detour.
“You can’t see the slopes or lodge from your house, can you?”
“Not really. I can see the upper slope from my bedroom window, but not in the summertime.” What was his point? “Even in the deep winter, there are enough evergreens that it’s hard to see this far.”
He ran both hands through his hair, then held them there, fingers intertwined on top of his head. He seemed lost in thought for a moment as he stared at her.
“I’m just sayin’... If you can’t see the place, and if you haven’t heard all the construction going on here at the lodge, then...maybe this place being open won’t be as disruptive as you think it will.”
“Maybe. But there’s nothing stopping people from exploring those trees between us. Maybe you could put up a fence or something.”
He didn’t answer, but his expression said volumes when he looked past her toward her place. A fence would be a major undertaking. He flipped a large lever on the side of the shack, and the motor inside ground to life. The lift seats, hanging from the cables above, began moving slowly. He grabbed one and lifted the security bar so they could hop into the seat together. It was now or never. She took a deep breath and stepped on the platform, getting swept into the seat and up the slope with Matt at her side.
The ski lodge might not be as disruptive as she feared. The presence of Matt Danzer on her mountain, however, was proving to be very disruptive indeed.
* * *
The trip up the mountain was silent. Matt couldn’t figure out if it was a tense or comfortable silence. The atmosphere on the lift seemed to careen between the two, although not a word was spoken. He might never figure out what was happening when he was around Jillie Coleman.
As they reached the summit, he made a mental note to talk to the guys about how jerky the cable was up near the top. The shudder wasn’t enough to make the chair buck. It was just a vibration, really. He wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to be a safety issue once the lift was loaded with skiers. When the chair started moving around the huge wheel at the summit, he reached for Jillie’s arm, just to make sure she knew to hop off before it was too late and the chair swung out over the rocky drop-off to return down the mountain.
As usual, Jillie was ahead of him. She’d already hopped off and moved to the side. He followed, shaking his head in wonder.
“I thought you said you didn’t ski?”
“I didn’t say I never skied. I said I prefer to do cross-country.” She moved up the incline toward the rocky mountaintop while he hit the large red stop button on the lift. “To be fair, I haven’t skied much. And it’s been years.”
“Because you’re so nervous around people?” He muttered a curse under his breath. “Damn it. Sorry. I swear I know how to be tactful, but when I’m with you I...”
She looked over her shoulder at him.
“Lose your filter?”
He barked out a laugh. “Yeah. I don’t have much of a filter, anyway, but with you? None at all.”
He couldn’t filter how much he wanted to know about her. For a guy who didn’t hang around a place long enough for real relationships, it didn’t make sense. He’d never met anyone like her, and he wanted to examine her like a specimen. No, that didn’t sound good. He wanted to know her, damn it. And she wasn’t making it easy.
She’d moved ahead, walking faster as she neared the old fire tower near the summit. “I haven’t been up here since midsummer. I’ve only made it up here in the cold weather a few times. It’s a treacherous climb if there’s even a little bit of snow on the ground.” She pointed down toward the town. “You can see a lot farther without the leaves on the trees. There’s the resort. And Halcyon. See the castle?”
He recognized the resort because he and Bryce had been there for dinner a few times. But he hadn’t seen the historic old castle before now. He’d heard about it, of course. Blake Randall and his family called it home. It was pretty impressive, even from way up here, with two round towers and the pinkish granite glowing in a shaft of sunlight that made the place look like a fairy-tale mirage on the lakeshore. Jillie was still smiling fondly.
“You’ve been there?” he asked.
“It’s even prettier inside.” She nodded. “Amanda Randall is an interior designer—she helped me redo my place a couple years ago.”
“So you...you have more friends here than the liquor store lady and the coffee lady. You go places...”
She rested h
er hand on the rusty metal framework of the fire tower. “I’m not a troll living under a bridge, Matt. Of course I have friends. I go out sometimes.” Her tone softened, losing its defensive edge. “My friends understand what I need. They go out of their way to make sure I feel safe.”
She’d said that before. He couldn’t wrap his head around all of her fears and how she managed them.
“What do they do?”
Her forehead creased in confusion.
“What?”
“What do your friends do to make you feel safe?”
The wind was stronger and colder up here, and a gust had both of them pulling their jackets tighter. They headed down toward the sparse and twisted tree line near the ski lift. The wind was coming from the west, behind the mountain, so it was just enough to get them out of the worst of it. Jillie moved to an outcropping of rocks, sitting on one that had been soaking up the sun for a while. Matt kept a few feet between them to make sure she was comfortable, leaning his hip against one of the larger boulders there and looking down to where she sat. She stared out over the valley, and he thought she was going to ignore his question entirely. When she did speak, she continued to look at the lake and that fanciful castle where her friend lived.
“It’s more about what they don’t do. They don’t bring strangers around. They keep the number of people small enough that I can have my space. They let me know where all the exits are, and where I might be able to be alone for a minute if I need that. I know the floor plan of Halcyon and places like the coffee shop or the liquor store. They’re almost as familiar to me as my home.” She gave him a rueful smile. “Sounds silly, doesn’t it?”
He shrugged. “It explains why I saw you go into the liquor store last week and never come back out. You used the back door, like you did at the coffee shop?”