“I have to go to her,” Irena said. “I’ve never seen her like this. Not ever.”
“Go.” Rafael let Irena’s fingers slip from his hand, and she raced into the trees. “Well, Silvie, so much for leaving her without hurting her.”
Silvana tried to speak, but her tongue had sealed itself to the roof of her mouth. She steadied herself against dizziness and took a deep breath. “It’s for the best.”
“For the best? God above, did you see the same reaction I did?”
“If she had reacted any other way, she wouldn’t be the woman I love, so full of pride and defiance. I can only believe that her forgiveness will come in time.” Silvana touched her stinging cheek. Perhaps by design, it was the same cheek that bore the silver tree.
Rafael stood. “I’m so sorry, Silvie.” He drew Silvana into his arms. As her head met his chest, the numbness reached her heart, and she wept.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Adelina, unlock the door!”
Adelina pulled her blanket over her head. “Go away, Ira.”
“But Ada!” Fists hammered at the door. “Don’t you understand? She meant everything she said!”
“I said to leave me alone. If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone our new secret.”
The knocking stopped. After a moment of silence, a sob echoed in the corridor, followed by the sound of receding footsteps. Adelina pushed her face into her pillow and commanded herself to die. As if to prove her powerlessness, her body continued to stubbornly draw breath. How had it ended this way? This morning she’d woken in a rapture of love, and now…
God, had she really wished for Silvana’s death? What if it came true? Adelina shuddered and drew the blanket tight around her body. If only she could stay here forever wrapped in darkness.
Thinking of those sweet, lying lips.
She closed her eyes and waited. Finally, darkness filled her mind and tossed her senses into turmoil. And in that chaos, a dream bloomed.
Tipu was neither boy nor girl, would never become man nor woman, and was divine because of it. Tipu bowed to the princess, who smiled at her new friend.
“You were not born of your mother, princess,” said Tipu. “You were born of the heavens.”
“The heavens?” The princess frowned. “But how can that be?”
“Some things in the cosmos simply are. There’s no need to ask how.”
“There’s always need to ask how.”
Tipu laughed, a sound like a thousand bells chiming together. “I can’t answer you, but I can show you. Will you come with me?”
The princess pointed to her emerald-studded diadem. “I’m a princess. If I go, who will take my place? My mother and father will mourn for me. The children I play with will find new friends. The palace will be too quiet without the music of my wandering feet.”
“Have no fear. Time will wait for your return.” Tipu took the princess by the hand. “Many are the suffering hearts that long for respite. They wait for you to bring peace to the world and water to the desert.” Tipu soared, and the princess trailed behind, her dress and its silk train billowing behind her.
A voice shivered, like something dead and old.
The blood will call.
Nightmare descended.
A tree rose before Adelina, its branches splayed like antlers. Silvana sat in its limbs. “Old roots wend deep, Adelina,” she said, and a many-fingered breeze tousled her auburn hair. “I feel this night will never end.”
Adelina approached the base of the tree. Tipu held her hand tightly. “Silvana, what do you long for most?”
“That which we all do.” The wind snatched a tear from Silvana’s lashes. “Death.”
Adelina turned to Tipu. “Tell me, Tipu. What do I do? I don’t want her to die.”
“Then let her live,” said Tipu. “Walk forever beneath the canopies, night wanderers swathed in starlight, lovers locked until time’s cessation.”
Silvana walked along one of the tree’s gnarled branches. At its end hung the silhouette of a noose. She crouched and placed her hand upon the rope’s hoary knot. “I give myself in sacrifice to be in your embrace.”
“No!” Adelina stretched out her hand. “Silvana!”
Her beautiful dryad, those dark and knowing eyes…
Silvana lowered the noose over her head, as reverent as if she were being crowned.“I love you.”
Not the voice of a nightmare now, but the last breath of the woman she loved.
The silhouette fell…
Adelina woke, her body covered in sweat, as a torrent of angry knocking shook the door.
“Adelina!” Oh, God. It was Mother. “Explain why you refuse to answer your door!”
Adelina threw aside her blankets and unlocked the door. It opened to reveal a furious apparition in black. “Thank you, Adelina,” Mother said, her voice expressing far more menace than gratitude. “It is almost noon, and you’re still in bed. Why?”
“Noon?” Adelina looked at the window. Sure enough, a strong noon’s light passed through its open shutters. “I fell asleep, Mother, with the door locked.”
“Why in Creation would you lock it, girl? Do you not feel safe in your own home?”
“It’s open now, isn’t it?” Adelina tried to match her mother’s stare but ended up looking at her feet. “It’s not like I did something so terribly wrong. It is my room.”
“And your sister’s, so you have no right to lock her out of it.” Mother clutched Adelina’s shoulder with her thin hand. “Daughter, your father and I need to discuss a matter with you in his study. Follow me.”
“A matter?”
“Yes, girl, a matter.” Mother’s grip tightened. “Don’t protest. The sooner we discuss this, the better.”
Adelina nodded, and Mother released her. They walked together through the sun-soaked corridors, through carpeted hallways and into her father’s study. Father waited behind his desk, his face slack. Adelina’s entrance did nothing to lift his expression.
“Adelina,” he said. “Good afternoon.”
“Father.” Adelina tensed. When Father spoke so formally, it never ended well for her. “Is something wrong?”
Mother stood beside the desk. “You tell us, child. You’re the one who locked herself in her room.”
“Is that what this is about?”
“No. It’s not.” Father shifted a paperweight between his hands as he spoke. “Adelina, you are a woman of twenty-three. Most women at your age are already married.”
Adelina’s heart lost its timing. “It’s true then. You’re going to marry me to that monster.”
Father grimaced, while Mother’s face remained stern. “I suppose that Silvana told you,” Father said. “Damn busybody of a woman.” He sighed and tossed the paperweight to the desk. “You are not to be ‘married to him,’ as you put it. We have given him permission to court you. And after he has made certain ritual gestures of appreciation, we will give him permission to marry you.”
“No.” Adelina’s vision blurred. “You can’t do that. Mother, do you really want a daughter of yours to be married to a pig like Orfeo?”
“I had little choice in this matter.” Mother spoke in a monotone. “Your father says that Orfeo is a decent man beneath his exterior, and he has pointed out the strategic advantages of the marriage. His economic and social standing is beyond reproach, even if his moral reputation is more questionable. But the same could be said for your father.”
Sebastian winced. “Don’t start, Delfina.”
“You can’t do this to me!” Adelina let herself scream, finding her only pleasure in the dismay and shock on her parents’ faces. “You gave Irena the opportunity to choose!”
“Think of the benefits. You’ll stay close to home. You’ll be near Felise.”
“Father, he will rape me!”
Mother gasped. “Adelina! God preserve you, girl, he’ll treat you as a husband treats his wife, that’s all…”
“And it’ll be rape, Mother, because I don’t wa
nt to be treated that way. You idiots, you don’t know me at all. I don’t want a man to touch me. I need a woman’s embrace.”
Mother held the desk as if to steady herself. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Don’t I? I’m not a virgin, Mother, and yet I’ve never lain with a man. Use your remarkable gift for logic to determine how it’s so.”
“You are unchaste? From a woman? From that masculine hussy?”
“She’s not masculine, damn you. She’s a woman and so am I. For God’s sake, so are you. How can you be so obtuse? We are not unwomaned by claiming from men what rightfully belongs to us as well!”
Father cleared his throat. “Adelina, you are provoking your mother.”
“It’s about time somebody did. Maybe if I provoke her enough, she’ll realize her daughter is being used as barter for a parcel of land.”
“Be quiet.” Mother seemed calm but for the heat in her eyes. “If you are truly so depraved as you claim, then you are not even worthy of being traded for cattle.”
Adelina exhaled a sharp, wounded breath. “What we did was not depravity. It was beauty.”
“You will be courted, and Orfeo will be your preferred suitor,” Father said. “This admission of yours only makes that all the more certain.”
“I won’t.” Adelina stumbled back a step. Were these cold-hearted creatures really her parents? It couldn’t be. Changelings were real after all, and last night her changeling parents had grown into goblins. “I’ll go into a convent instead. Mother, you said I could.”
“A convent?” Mother’s composure finally cracked, and her tone became shrill. “Do you really think I would allow you to befoul a house of God with your presence? Do you really think I would let you sow seeds of unnatural lust among the women who worship there?”
“You’re a foolish zealot. Your God isn’t real, don’t you realize that? A man invented your God to keep you obedient! If there were anything divine, it would be a Goddess, it would be love, it would be the coupling between two women—”
“You blasphemous devil.” Mother closed her eyes. “You will always be my daughter, and I will always share the burden for your abhorrent failings. I will never say that I do not love you. But in this moment, I struggle to comprehend that you share my blood. Our decision is final. We have no need of you.”
“Delfina,” said Father plaintively. “Must you be so hard on the girl? She’s only experiencing an infatuation, it’s harmless…”
“She is no longer a virgin, Sebastian! A guest under our roof, a woman no less, had knowledge of our daughter. By rights you should track this foreign harlot down and have her arrested.” Mother’s face twitched as she reached new heights of hysteria. “And God help us, her brother is still courting my Irena!”
“Rafael deserves no blame for his sister’s actions. Would you really want to punish Irena for her goodness by taking away her favored suitor? My verdict is that the matter is at an end.”
“Yes, it’s at an end.” Adelina’s anger subsided into chill resignation. “I have no need of either of you. You are strangers to me. I was not born of you. I was born of the heavens.”
She turned and fled the room. Her panicked feet carried her to her bedroom, where Irena sat gazing out the window. “Ada?”
Too breathless to respond, Adelina slammed the door and locked it. She inhaled a lungful of air. “They’re going to marry to me Orfeo,” she said, the words jumbling together.
“What? But you’re not yet twenty-five.”
“Mother knows now. Everybody knows. And it’s like I told you. They hate me. Only you still love me, Ira. You’re the only one I have in the world.” Adelina shut her eyes to hide her tears. “I need you to do me one last favor.”
“Last favor? Ada, why last?”
“Cut my hair.” Adelina tossed her tangled mane free from her shoulders. “Cut it close, just as Silvana wears hers.”
“Your hair? But it’s so beautiful, you’ve been growing it your whole life…”
“Which means that like my life, it is worthless and corrupted. Cut it, Irena.”
Irena bit her lower lip. “Mother will be enraged.”
“She can’t possibly be any more enraged than she is now.” Adelina dragged a stool to Irena’s bedside and took a silver pair of scissors from the table beneath the window. “Cut it.”
“Very well.” Irena gathered a bunch of Adelina’s hair into her palm. “About this morning…”
“You’re not to talk about this morning.”
The scissors snipped, and several black strands fell to the floor. “You can’t stop me from doing so. Adelina, little sister, dear heart—your Silvana loves you. The suffering in her eyes when you struck her, God help me, I’ll never forget the sight of it.”
“She doesn’t love me. If she loved me, she wouldn’t have lied.”
“It’s because she loved you that she told you the truth. How can someone so clever as you be so idiotic?”
A quick series of snips passed by Adelina’s ear. “You weren’t there when she took me beneath the trees. She told me the last thing she wanted was for either of us to be hurt. After the lie, she kissed me, and then we did more than kiss.”
“So I gathered from your tantrum.” Irena sighed. “The day after your confession, I awoke with reservations about your future. But when she came to us in the garden and I saw the way you smiled at her, every last doubt left me. You should be with her. I know in my heart that God would want it to be so.”
“There is no God.”
“Then be with her because I want it to be so.”
“Her love is false. Her words are deceptions. You just can’t see through them like I can.”
“You’re so angry, Ada. So angry you’ll even scourge yourself for the chance to inflict some pain.” Irena set aside the scissors. “It’s done.”
Adelina hurried to the mirror. A startled breath escaped her lips. Her newly cropped hair, robbed by the blade of its exquisite curl, now exposed her slender neck and rounded ears. It was difficult to recognize herself in that vulnerable, frightened reflection. “I don’t know whether I look beautiful or disastrous.”
“You look different.” Irena stared at the mountain of black strands on the floor. “Your long hair suited you so well. Now you seem…fragile.”
“But I don’t understand.” Adelina ran her hands over her trim scalp. “Silvana didn’t look fragile at all.”
“Her features are sterner than yours, and she carries herself with assurance. And you are fragile right now, and afraid.”
“Don’t presume to know what I am.” Adelina began to loosen the laces of her dress.
“Why are you undressing?”
“I want to appear like a woman, not some laced puppet.” Adelina undid the countless hooks and buttons of the dress before throwing aside the garment. She opened her wardrobe and retrieved her short pants and tunic. “I want people to see me as I really am rather than as a ridiculous walking shroud.”
“Do you think less of me, then, for wearing a dress?”
“No.” Adelina pulled on her pants and slipped the tunic over her shoulders. “I like how I look in a dress too. But if I’m to ever be free, I have to start somewhere.” She approached the full-length mirror and stood with her hands on her hips. “I look like I’m off to corrupt somebody’s daughter.”
“You’re tomboyish beyond words.” Irena wrung her hands in her lap. “I think I know what you’re planning, but I’m not sure I can stomach hearing it.”
Adelina looked at Irena, whose eyes were glistening, and her throat tightened. Yet she willed herself to continue. “I’m leaving. I’ll take my jewelry to pawn, and I’ll flee this place. I’ll find a life somewhere else.”
“No, you’ll be mugged or worse.” Irena wiped her eyes. “Don’t do this to us.”
“If you do marry that man, I wish you well. And if you don’t, I praise you for clever reasoning.” Adelina sat beside Irena and kissed her on the fo
rehead. “When you have children, raise them more wisely than our parents did us.”
“I will.” Irena took Adelina’s hand and kissed its knuckles. “I’ve prepared myself to lose you ever since Father told me I was to begin receiving suitors. But I never thought it would be like this.”
Adelina squeezed Irena’s fingers. “I’m sorry I’ve teased you.”
“And I’m sorry I’ve frustrated you.”
“Will you tell Lise that I love her?”
Irena smiled, though her lips trembled. “Yes, I shall.” A tear wet her cheek. “Are you going to walk to town?”
“Yes. I’ll leave by the window and climb down that big tree. I don’t want to risk running into Mother or Father downstairs. Will you keep the door locked and tell them that I’m sleeping?”
“If I must.” Irena looked away. “I wish you’d forgive her.”
“I wish you wouldn’t mention her.” Adelina released Irena’s hands and stood. “Try not to worry about me.” She retrieved a satchel from beneath her bed and swept her jewelry into it. “I’m going now. No doubt they’re busy complaining over my behavior, but sooner or later they’ll come looking for me.”
“Go with my love, Adelina.”
“If you do care for that man…” Adelina swallowed as her throat squeezed tighter still. “If you do love Rafael, I wish you both the very best.” She unclasped the window and opened the shutters. After a last glance at Irena, who gazed back with solemn eyes, Adelina clambered onto the sill and crawled onto the branch.
It took little effort to wriggle along the limb’s length and into the crooked intersection of the tree’s uppermost branches. Silver leaves stroked her face, and the old boughs enclosed her as if she were entering a lover’s caress.
My nature was prophesied to be that of the earth and forest.
Adelina closed her eyes and kissed the mottled bark. It felt, even in that dark moment, as if something kissed her back.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Adelina sat by the window, her fingers pressed to the glass, and watched the morning activity in the street below. Mingled townsfolk traversed the cobblestones, many of them drab and uninteresting, though a few offered moments of excitement and color: troubadours in dyed pantaloons, groups of women trailing silk, guardsmen in glittering chainmail, merchants leading wagons and, sometimes, adventurers wearing feathered hats, swords in their belts and capes on their shoulders. These last travelers always recalled the woman Adelina had now spent a fortnight trying to forget.
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