Jillian said, “Would everyone mind stepping out? I’d like to have some time with Robert.” They left the room, but not before tearfully hugging their son and brother.
Jillian returned to the bedside and took RJ’s hand, “We have to talk. The longer you wait and continue to drink, your health will suffer. I’ve seen you mornings when you’ve been so ill you can hardly get out of bed. And then your day started with another drink. Alcohol’s taken over. I love you with all my heart and soul, but you can’t go on like this…we can’t.”
“How can you say you love me in one breath and in another tell me all this?” he said angrily.
Tears welled up in Jillian’s eyes. “I can, because I know somewhere underneath is still the person you once were. Now that I know your family, I believe that person’s still there. Remember, I’m ‘your’ physician. I see the values on your tests. I want you around to see our children grow up. I want to grow old with you, sitting on our front porch in our rocking chairs, Pa.”
Tears rolled down RJ’s face. He knew that he’d needed help for years. Now he had the girl of his dreams and didn’t want to lose her. He knew she was right. Without words he shook his head yes. Jillian put her arms around him, and he buried his face into her shoulder. She held him close, as they cried together.
“It’s going to be hard, but you’re a superstar, right?” They both chuckled. She had her hand on the doorknob. “Ready?”
“Okay, let them folks in and we’ll this get done,” RJ said. He cleared his throat and wiped his face with a cool washcloth that Jillian handed him.
There were papers to be signed for discharge and the treatment center faxed their paper work for completion. The paperwork was finally completed, and Robert was accepted into the program. It was time to go.
When they arrived at the airport, they drove onto the tarmac, Robert John Montgomery’s plane was sitting waiting to whisk away its owner. His mother had packed their suitcases that morning before coming to the hospital. It had been decided that it would be best to fly out directly from the hospital. Jillian slipped off the engagement ring and into its box then quietly placed it inside Natalie’s purse.
After all the family good-bye’s were said, Jillian and Robert got on board. To their surprise, Gary and Emma sat on the plane.
“What’re you two doing here?”
“RJ, Jillie… I…” Emma nudged Gary. “I mean, we couldn’t let our best friends go through this alone.”
The four hugged and got seated all the while making small talk, trying to avoid the obvious. The plane taxied out. “Just where am I going?” asked RJ.
“Palm Springs.” Jillian said. “I talked to the people there, and their program’s extremely secure. Actually, we’re going to land at Bermuda Dunes. The airport’s much smaller and there are fewer people around than at the Palm Springs airport.”
After taking off, the foursome settled into the flight. Jillian explained that a representative from the treatment center was to meet them at the Bermuda Dunes Airport. There, he and Jillian would say goodbye, as she wasn’t allowed to go with him. He’d been enrolled in their ninety-day residential program. The program included counseling sessions, specialized support groups on an individual basis, along with daily lectures.
Jillian knew Robert felt that he’d been ganged up on and forced into this program. Earlier, he told her that since she’d turned against him and forced him into center, he didn’t ever want to see her again. She also knew medically that he was on a downhill spiral health-wise. He finally admitted that he’d been having blackouts and migraines.
When their pilot announced that they were beginning their descent into the Palm Springs area, dread suddenly hit Jillian. Disturbing questions flooded her mind: How can I say goodbye? Is it just for ninety days, it or forever? Has our time had come to an end? With tears in her eyes, she looked at RJ. Tears were rolled down RJ’s cheeks.
With Gary and Emma standing beside the couple, RJ and Jillian held each other, neither wanting to release the other. The program representative touched Robert on the shoulder.
“Sir, my name is Clifford, when you’re ready. I have your bag.”
Robert nodded in the affirmative.
He whispered, “Jillie, I’m glad we had our time together. Was it all that bad? If so, I’m sorry. I love you.” Choking back tears, he knew he was losing the best thing that’d ever happened to him.
“And I you,” was all Jillian could master. She felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. She reached up, kissed his wet cheek, then turned and sank into Emma’s arms. “Em, I can’t let him go. I…..” Jillian sobbed almost uncontrollably.
Emma held her and said, “You’ve got to. You know it’s the best thing. You of all people should understand that he’s going downhill and if he doesn’t get help, when he reaches the bottom the fall will kill him.”
Gary walked his best friend to the car. They started to shake hands, but the gesture became a hug.
RJ looked back at the girls. He saw Emma holding Jillian and began to tear up again. “See ya in ninety days. Let everyone I’m sorry.”
“RJ, you take care. I’ll be right here to pick you up ninety days from today.”
“The girls are waiting. Thanks. Gar, take care of her.”
“I will.”
Robert John Montgomery didn’t look much like a superstar as he entered the car. His head was bandaged, his right eye swollen and starting to black and blue, physically and mentally crushed, tears fell down his cheeks. When he looked over to the plane, all were on board. He’d never felt so alone as at this very second.
As they were taxied out, Jillian looked back to the parking lot and the saw black limo pulling out. She said to herself, Goodbye, Robert John Montgomery. Have a nice life. She found herself sobbing aloud. Loneliness filled her whole self. Granny, now I know what Dashed Dreams are all about.
Chapter 28
The next three months passed slowly. Jillian managed to fill her days with her medical practice and evenings with reading and crocheting. She kept to herself, trying to work out her feelings and mend her broken heart. At night in bed she talked to her grandmother’s spirit about dashed dreams and life not working out as planned.
Jillian’s parents came for a couple of weeks. Her father was very gracious regarding the Robert John Montgomery situation. The only thing he’d said was, “I knew he was hiding something. You’re going to be okay without him and his problem.” She and her mother sat up until the wee hours of the morning talking over dashed dreams. Jillian always became a “teenager” when her parents were around, but it was nice to have them back in Yerington. They were gone too soon for Jillian. They tried to get her to take a leave of absence and come home with them to heal. But Jillian knew she couldn’t grieve much longer. She was all out of tears and she had to mend.
She’d received letters from RJ, but never opened them. She put them in a desk drawer. Some day she’d read them, but not now. The wound was still too fresh. Once she thought that she should either return or answer but them, couldn’t bring herself to do either.
Emma called the office. “Hi, Joy. This is Emma. Is she in or too busy?”
“She’s here. You know, this isn’t any of my business, but she’s really hurting. I was going to call you for an appointment. Do you have anything open in the next few days for a perm and a cut?”
“Let’s see. How about Saturday at 11?”
“Day after tomorrow?”
“Yep, this Saturday coming up.”
“I’ll be there. I’ll let her know that you’re on the line. Hold on.”
“Thanks. See you on Saturday.”
In a couple of minutes Jillian came on the line.
“Hi, kiddo.” Her tone was low and monotone.
“Hope I’m not interrupting you.”
“I just finished with my last patient. What’s up with you?”
“I was wondering if you’d join Lynda and me at Geiuseppe’s on Friday night? W
e want to see you. It’s been months and you keep turning down our invitations. Jillie, we want to spend some time with you.”
“I don’t know. You know, I’ve got quite a few things accomplished while hanging around home.”
“Like what?” Emma asked, trying to get her best friend to talk to her.
“Well, I’ve painted my kitchen, caught up on my reading, and I hey even learned how to crochet a chevron afghan. And I’ve done a lot of thinking.”
“Sounds like you’ve been busy. What about dinner?”
“Sure, I’ll join you two. What time?”
“That’s great. How about seven?”
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.” She’d been saying this to her two best friends for weeks now, but never had.
“Bye, Jillie.”
Emma hung up the phone and instantly felt guilty, as she hadn’t told Jillian the true story regarding dinner.
On Friday night, Jillian arrived at Giuseppe’s a couple of minutes after seven. Meagan said, “Jillian, how nice to see you again! Your friends have already arrived. They’re in the first booth.” Jillian could see Lynda waving at her. When she approached the booth, she was shocked to see Gary sitting beside Emma. She said, “Hello, everyone.” She slipped in beside Gary in the booth. “Hello, Gary. Nice to see you again.”
“You too, Jillian.”
After their order was taken, Emma took Jillie’s hand and said, “You’re probably wondering why Gary’s here tonight.”
“The thought crossed my mind.”
“Well, we know what you’ve been going through these past months and we’ve been keeping our news under wraps, but now I have to tell you. Gary and I are getting married. And I want you to be my maid of honor,” Emma said with much excitement in her voice.
“I’ve noticed Gary at your house quite a bit. You certainly didn’t take me by surprise. Congratulations to you both! I know both of you are going to be very happy and have a great life together. Em, you know I wouldn’t miss being your maid of honor.” Jillie leaned over to Gary and gave him a brief hug, and he kissed her cheek. She was trying hard to control her tears.
Lynda said, “Now you’re going to make me cry. Hey, kids, tell her you’re other news.”
“Well, Gary talked to your Dad for his permission to marry his ‘adopted’ daughter, and he and Mom gave us their blessings. And he’s going to walk me down the aisle.”
Jillian smiled, as she knew how close Emma and her parents had become over these past years. The tears were filling her eyes again, she thought: Dad’ll be walking Emma down the aisle not daughter, as I’d dreamed. She took a deep breath. “Hey, Em, I know how much Mom and Dad love you. I’ll bet they were bustin’ their buttons. When did you talk to them? They didn’t mention anything of this to me last night.”
“Well, Gary went to Fort Worth to talk to them and I talked to Mom about a week ago by phone. They agreed not to tell you. I wanted to be the one to share the news with you.”
“Gary, you went there?”
“Sure, I wanted to make it right…to formally ask for her hand.”
Jillian smiled and thought: How sweet! She was filled with a mix of jealously and happiness for her friend.
Lynda and Emma excused themselves to go to the powder room. There was a sense of anticipation in the booth between the only two diners left. Jillian felt as she was going to burst. From the moment she’d seen Gary, she wanted to ask about RJ.
“How is he?” she asked, trying to control the tears.
“He’s home. He’s hurting. He misses you terribly. He went in a broken shell of a human and came out a changed man. The treatment center put Humpty Dumpty back together again. You know, he’s lost a lot, not just you, but career-wise. He’ll probably have my head when he finds out I’m telling you this, but the companies he was endorsing pulled their contracts. They didn’t want their product associated with a drunk in rehab. That’s really funny, `cause they wanted his endorsements when he was a drunk before rehab. As an employer of twelve men and women, all lost their jobs. He went in on top of the world and came out on the bottom with all this crap dumped on him. Hey, it’d cause a man to drink!”
Jillian’s heart was breaking thinking of what Robert was going through.
“Does he know you’re here tonight?”
Gary nodded yes.
“Jillie, I’ve ask RJ to be my best man.”
Suddenly, she wanted to run. She felt as she had no air, couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t see him again. She was too ashamed of herself for having totally abandoned him. Returning his letters had been something a schoolgirl would’ve done. He’d needed her support. How could she face him?
When Emma and Lynda returned, Emma leaned over to Gary and asked if he’d told Jillie yet. He shook his head yes.
“Emma, when and where are you going to be married?”
“At…,” Emma paused, hesitant to say where. “Two Hawks. Your mom asked me, it’s a wonderful place…so peaceful. It’ll be a June wedding. Jillie, are you okay?”
Again, Jillian felt like she’d been hit in the chest and all the oxygen drained from her body. All she could do was nod. She wanted to run, escape her pain. Suddenly she felt physical ill.
“Excuse me.” She got up and ran down the hall to the ladies’ room. She closed the door of the first stall and lost the contents of her stomach. She leaned over and rested her head on the stall wall. She inwardly scolded herself: Jillian Louise James, get ahold of yourself. Emma’s your best-friend. You should be happy for her. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t get married at Two Hawks. Grow up, girl.
As she wiped her face with a cool towel, Emma came in. Saying not a word, the girls hugged each other, rocking back and forth, tears running down their faces. They both started talking at the same time. They looked at each other, laughing.
“Come on out and finish your dinner. I should’ve told you earlier, but I was worried about you and what you’ve been through.”
“Em, I’m so sorry I ruined your dinner. I’ve acted so selfishly. You have no idea how happy I am for you and Gary. You have every reason to be married where you want. My parents are your parents and they love you.”
“Yeah. We need to get back to the table. Gary’s there with Lynda,” Emma said. Both women laughed.
“Hey, when? How long do we have to plan for this blessed event?”
“As soon as possible.”
After dinner, all had coffee and cookies at Jillian’s. Overall, the evening hadn’t been a complete disaster.
That night, as Jillian knelt down beside her bed, her prayers included a blessed life for Emma and Gary. And as every night, she prayed to God for RJ’s safe-keeping.
Chapter 29
The next couple of weeks there were fast and furious, with wedding plans being made in both the Nevada and Texas camps. Jillian found that her mother had gone head-over-heels in transforming Two Hawks into a enchanting wedding setting for Emma and Gary. The girls were to arrive on Thursday, and the wedding was to take place Saturday evening.
Emma and Gary had made a quick trip to Texas to get their wedding license the week before. They found out that the Texas law has a 72-hour waiting period between the issuance of the license and the wedding. No blood tests were required, but both had to be present when applying for the license.
Tucker’s Hotel and Casino provided their transportation to Dallas, as Jack Morgan was coming to the wedding. He’d received two invitations, one from Gary and one from Lynda. When Lynda called to him invite him, he offered that the girls to fly with him. He’d send a car to pick them up on Thursday morning and they’d leave from Lake Tahoe.
When the car arrived at Jillian’s house, the girls were packed and waiting. Lynda almost beat the doorbell ringing to open the door.
“How nice to see you again, Miss Brockhurst. Congratulations, Miss Elliott.”
“Nice to see you again, Lionel. We’re all ready,” Lynda said pointing to the luggage sitting by the front doo
r. He nodded and gathered the bags. Emma picked up her bags and Jillian slid hers out the front door and locked it. She picked up her bags and headed down the sidewalk to the waiting limousine.
Jillian handed Lionel her bag. “How nice it is to see you again, Dr. James. I’m so sorry to hear ‘bout Mr. Montgomery. How is he?”
“He’s fine, and thank you for asking, Lionel.”
He opened the door for the ladies, then finished loading the trunk.
In the driver’s seat he looked back through the slider. “Ladies, you all know where everything is. Just sit back and I’ll have you three lovely ladies at Lake Tahoe Airport in no time.” He then closed the slider.
The ride to Lake Tahoe was enjoyable. As always, Emma and Lynda talked nonstop about this and that regarding the wedding. A couple of times they asked Jillie a question and she answered with only one or two syllables. They understood and continued to talk but only to each other.
Jillian’s thoughts ranged from the first time she’d ridden in this car to watching RJ being driven off in a stretch limousine in Bermuda Dunes. She glanced out of the window, only to see her reflection in the tinted glass. She saw a despondent-looking shell of Jillian Louise James looking back at her. She’d been looking in the mirror each and every day, but never really seeing. She mumbled to herself, “Oh, my God!”
Hearing Jillie mumbling, both Emma and Lynda stopped talking, trying to understand what their friend was saying. All they could make out was, “I’m sorry.” Tears were running down Jillian’s face.
When they arrived at the Lake Tahoe Airport, the sun was shining brightly on the pines. A huge noble pine forest surrounded the airport, the runway and taxiway was carved between the trees. The two-story terminal building looked like an A-frame chalet. The limousine drove out onto the tarmac. Jack stood beside the plane. Jillian was the first one out of the car. She smiled as soon as she smelled the crisp pine scent. She felt, as though these were their trees, their scent, and their home.
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