I share my entire past with him. Realizing I’ve never been this open with anyone. He sits quietly for a while taking it all in.
“Brayden, rehab will help you sort through all of this. You’re not responsible for what other people do; you cannot control anyone but yourself and your reactions to others. With that, with what happened to Bianca that was not your fault regardless of what anyone else has ever told you. Do you understand that?”
I stutter. “I can understand why you think that but it’s a fact and bottom line it should have been me not her.”
He shakes his head. “I hope in time you can view this all differently. You’re of value son, and I for one am thankful it wasn’t you all those years ago. I know Maggie, if she knew, she would also agree. I will respect your wishes for now and not share this with anyone. You’ve got to get clean, get back on track, and find your own way tell her. You’re carrying a burden much too big for one man alone. We all love you. You’re part of this family son and we’ll all help you anyway we can.”
“What am I going to do if it’s too late and I’ve already lost Maggie?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“I’ll tell you like I told her, there will be times where your heart says give it your all, but your head doesn’t want to be vulnerable. There are times where your head needs to be right to give you strength to fix yourself and get by. Only you will know in time what the best resolution is. Until you’re off the drugs, you can’t make any firm, long term decisions because they’ll all be clouded in the haze.”
We both remain quiet for a few moments, and then he continues. “I want to see you succeed, I want to see you and Maggie happy once again. As long as you’re clean whether you and Maggie are together or not, I will help you, I will listen, and I will encourage you. Mark my words, Brayden, if you don’t get off the dope, I will not support your efforts with Maggie. You will learn the other side to this dad and his love for his daughter. We clear?”
I feel like the wind is knocked out of me. “Crystal, sir.”
I knew coming here, I would have a lot to face, but never expected this. I didn’t think I would ever be able to talk about my sister, Bianca, with anyone. I feel relief at having shared the events with someone, but I don’t want to talk about any of this ever again. I know Harrison is going to want his own conversation with me, but I don’t want to deal with him right now. I just want to have time to be with Maggie before I depart for rehab.
Chapter Fifteen
Don’t Say It.
Maggie
Brayden and my dad stayed out in the shop talking for two hours. I was anxious to see him, but I know my dad wanted this time with him first. When he enters the house, my heart flutters at his mere presence. I still don’t know what to do about our relationship. Seeing him, I’m equally full of love and anger. Brayden comes over to me after greeting my mom. For the longest time, he just stares at me saying nothing.
“Maggie, I know it’s late, but can we go for a walk down to the beach and talk?” He finally asks.
I look at my dad for a sign as to whether I should go or not. He gives a subtle nod and I decide to go. My parent’s house is five houses up the street from Dina’s. Their house is walking distance to the beach, whereas, Dina’s house is right on the water.
We walk out. I shiver, not from the air, but from Brayden’s presence. I grab a blanket on the way out for us to sit on. We walk past Dina’s, all the lights are out but a soft glow from her bedroom. I smile inside knowing that my friend is finally coming to a peaceful place. She still stays in her childhood bedroom, leaving her parent’s master suite as a guest room. Maybe in time, she will learn to enjoy the house again for more than just beach access.
As I am thinking of all the heartache my best friend has overcome, I realize how much she has learned about herself. In the end, she has managed to find happiness. Thinking of all of this, I come to a decision about my relationship with Brayden, at least for the near future. I know what I have to do.
We arrive down to the soft sand, stars twinkling overhead. I lay the blanket out and sit down. Brayden sits beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to pull me close. I don’t know how long we sit like this, in silence just taking in the waves, stars, sand, and salt in the air. It’s peaceful, it’s my confirmation. Regardless the sun will rise and set again. I have to live with the decisions I’ve made in all of this.
Brayden begins to speak. “Maggie, I love you. I’ve messed up and I’m so sorry. I want to get clean, make things right between us. I….”
“Stop talking Brayden, now is not the time to go through all of this.” I interrupt. “Right now, I need the man I love to take me, hold me, kiss me and give me all the passion and emotion in him.”
He leans in and slowly kisses me, almost timidly. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him into me. Together we lay back with Brayden resting his weight on his forearms, chest against me, his leg nudging between mine. I peel his shirt up, maintaining eye contact with him as I did. I gently run my fingers up and down his back and sides as he tenderly kisses my neck. Then ever so carefully, he pulls off my sundress, leaving me naked on the blanket only his body covering mine. I cherish every moment, every touch committing it to memory.
He trails feather like kisses down my breasts, only sucking when he finds my nipples. The trail continues as he pulls my hands off him placing them to my sides as his begins a journey south. He grants both inner thighs equal attention before beginning to deliberately and delicately kiss my most intimate part. His tongue is leisurely licking my clit and core. I arch my back pressing him for more, demanding, taking, craving, wanting, and seeking out that connection and the orgasm that is building ever so slowly and delicately inside of me. As I explode around his mouth, I can feel my body already building in anticipation for more.
He pulls close to me, tenderly kissing his way back up. He pushes my hair out of my face, and takes his time to look me in the eyes.
His voice trembling. “Maggie, I love you baby, always have always will. My fire and ice, my wild and my calm, you are the only good I’ve ever had in my life.”
Before I can respond, he is kissing me in a slow teasing manner. I can taste the salt in the air on his lips, the taste of myself, all mixed with the familiar taste of Brayden. Our tongues dance together in the way we both have grown accustomed to, like a routine in which a ballerina has practiced for years, knowing every millimeter of his mouth, but still feeling like it’s never enough. I feel him remove his shorts and lay over me, skin on skin, and I feel on the brink of explosion already and he hasn’t even started.
His hand finds its way down, gently, slowly circling my clit. I burn with desire to be one with him joined together rising to ecstasy and coming down consumed in one another. As he inserts one finger, he begins ever so delicately moving in and out of me, his body is positioned on mine in such a way preventing me from rising up much to reach my climax. The throb and hunger in me is growing as he adds a second finger. He finally picks up the pace enough to send me over the edge again.
This time as I am riding the waves of my orgasm, he enters me. He is unhurried, making my body crave more. I can feel the tears rising up to the back of my eyes as he moves in and out of me. The love and rawness radiating off of him is shaking me to my core. He starts a gradual increase in pace as I am once again on the verge of another climax. I can feel his body begin to tense, just as the trembling in me begins, he finds his release. We both reach our final orgasm. Together we lay tangled in one another, coming down from the most passionate and emotional sexual experience we have ever encountered with each other.
Brayden
She hasn’t yet said the words, but I can feel it as we lay here. Maggie has given up on me, on us, and this is goodbye. I hold her close as long as I can. I feel her body shutter in my arms, not from aftershocks of our orgasms but from her silently crying. Finally, knowing I can’t prolong the inevitable, I reach for her dress putting it back on her as well as dressin
g myself.
I take her by the hand and pull her to standing in my arms. I gently rub her back and her hair. No longer is she trying to hold back the tears. I feel the burning in my eyes as I know I have broken her heart as well as my own.
I whisper to her knowing I can’t stop her from ending things, but trying to make this easier. “Maggie, I get it, you don’t need to say the words. Let’s get you home. Harrison wants to speak with me, so I’ll wait up for him and then take a cot in your dad’s shop. Tomorrow, I’ll see about getting a hotel until Ryder is ready to leave.”
She sobs as I continue. “It’s okay, baby, this is my fault entirely. You trusted me with everything and I broke that trust. I broke us. You deserve better than me. Maggie, I want you to be happy, with or without me. My behavior as of late, gives you no reason to want to find happiness with me and I understand that.”
I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face and I don’t even care. This woman is everything good that has ever been in my life and she wants to be gone.
She looks up at me. “Brayden, I love you more than I can ever put into words. I’m not saying it’s over for good, but it’s over for right now. You need to get clean. I need to find myself again. I got so lost in the illusion of our future I ignored our reality and missed the signs of your drug use. I want to be with the Brayden I fell in love with four years ago, the Brayden that wasn’t looking for an escape. The Brayden that would hold me and talk to me for hours on end about everything, give me that Brayden back.”
She holds me tight for a while. Then she pulls away, gathering up the blanket so we can walk back. Before we get to the stairs to get off the beach, she stops to say, “Brayden, let’s just take the time you’re rehab to find ourselves again. We can talk after you’re clean. One day at a time, no promises and no regrets. If we do find our way back to each other, I want it to be forever with no hesitations.”
All I manage to do is nod. With that we head back to her parents so I can face Harrison.
Chapter Sixteen
Rock Bottom
Brayden
After a quick shower, I make my way out to the back shop to pull out one of the cots to sleep on. Maggie and I didn’t say anything else to each other, as there honestly isn’t anything to say.
Harrison joins me not too long after that. It is now well past midnight. I want nothing more than to go to sleep, but I have to deal with grumpy big brother.
Without even a hello, he starts. “What’s the deal with you and my sister?”
I sharply retort. “Simple, I messed up bigger than shit, now there is no more me and your sister. What’s your next question?”
He looks at me almost as if he’s judging the integrity of my answer. The reality of my situation seeming to dawn on him, I almost sense some sympathy from him as he replies. “No more you and Maggie, huh? Then what’s the situation with Ryder and Dina? I’ve only met Ryder a few times through you, is he going to fuck her over?”
“Really Lawson, really! It’s way too late for this bullshit. Your sister doesn’t want to be with me right now, possibly not ever. As for Ryder and Dina, well she is blissfully happy; shouldn’t that be what matters given all she’s been through? You want to know what kind of guy Ryder is and what his intentions are with Dina, ask him your damn self!” I say staring him down.
“Point made, lunch tomorrow, you, me, dad, and Ryder. Noon at the Emerald Plantation, that restaurant in the back the girls love so much. I should kick your ass right now. I want to beat the shit out of you for hurting my sister. You seem to be beating yourself up enough though. Get some sleep.” And with that he is gone as quickly as he came.
Left alone with nothing but my thoughts, I just let myself drown in emotion. My mom is right, it should’ve been me. I’m no good for anyone. Normally, I would want the escape, the high, but right now I’m so broken even that won’t numb the pain. I sit up on the cot knowing there will be no sleep for me tonight. This has to be what they refer to as rock bottom.
Maggie
I wake up from the little sleep I managed, still full of conflicting emotions. I thought by making a decision concerning Brayden I would feel relief, but instead I feel empty.
I make my way to the kitchen for breakfast. My mom gives me a knowing glance. My dad comes around and hugs me.
“Where’s Brayden at now?”
“He spent the night outside in the shop. He’s gonna stay there until Ryder leaves or he can find another way back to Charlotte. I don’t want him to go back without Ryder and then end up getting high. I can’t be with him right now though. I need to find myself, sort some things out. I still love him with every part of my being. But we can’t be together until he’s clean and I know what I want for my future.” I answer with a shaky voice trying to contain the tears.
Harrison comes in looking tired, Tiffany trailing behind him. He immediately hugs me tight. He doesn’t greet me, he just starts about Brayden. “Your boy, Maggie, he’s a hot mess out there. You love him, he loves you, but you don’t need to be together while he’s fighting whatever battle he is fighting in his head. Just so you know, Dad, Ryder, Brayden and I are going to RJs for lunch today. I’ll be nice to Brayden, as for Ryder, he and I need to come to an understanding about Dina.”
With that he backs away from me to go kiss our mother on the cheek. She makes us an amazing breakfast of country ham, sausage, scrambled eggs, dip eggs for my Dad, grits, homemade gravy and biscuits. So we all sit down to enjoy the spread before us.
I eat silently, my mind wondering over to Brayden. I wish things could go back to the beginning when it was all so much easier.
Tiffany tries for small talk with her annoying girly high pitched, super fake, rack my nerves voice. She is so snobby about everything that I just ignore her every word. I can’t believe Harrison brought her home with him. For this being the first girl to meet our parents since he was in high school, she isn’t what I would consider a match for my big brother. He needs someone more independent and less critical. There is this arrogance around her that I can’t work past. Harrison is smart this can’t be too serious; she must just be a great piece of ass. That has to be it, a good roll in the sheets because she has nothing upstairs.
Chapter Seventeen
How Serious Are You?
Ryder
Palms sweating, nervous anticipation coursing through me, I hope Dina doesn’t catch on. Maggie comes to the house, so I quickly kiss Dina and head out for lunch with the guys.
I go by and pick up Brayden. “What’s up, bro? You look like hell.” I say as he gets in my car.
“Maggie and I broke up. It’s what’s best for her with me leaving in just a few days. Still, this hurts like hell, man. Harrison is coming to lunch just so you have a heads up man.”
“Damn it, I mean I like Lawson and all, but this is not a conversation I want to have with Maggie’s brother around. I’m nervous enough about talking to her dad. Those two know me but only as your friend, it’s different to be in a serious relationship with Dina and have to deal with them.”
We arrive at Emerald Plantation shopping center, it’s only three stoplights up from Dina’s street. I find a parking spot that I hope is far enough out no one parks around my Camaro. We walk past the grocery store, the tourist shops, a pizza place, and head back to the restaurant.
Inside we are greeted by the hostess and head back to the bar area. We grab a booth so we can still be at the bar but have a little privacy. Not long after, Harold and Harrison arrive. We each order a beer except Brayden who just gets sweet tea. I tell our waitress to make sure I have a basket of croissants to go, as Dina left me with specific instructions since we are dining at her all-time favorite place.
Harrison starts with an almost smug look on his face. “Davenport, good to see you and all but cut the shit, what’s your deal with Dina? Is this serious or are you playing her like all the other females you’ve left in your wake?”
Man, sometimes, he pisses me off. Harrison and
I have never had issues. I know he’s just as ready to brawl for the people he loves as I am though. His time in the Marines built his body up as much as mine, so we’re quite the pair sitting here having a pissing match over my relationship with Dina. To answer his question, I reach into my pocket, pulling out the little black velvet box, opening it and setting it on the table, dead center, contents facing out to both Lawson men.
“That serious!” I say with sarcasm dripping off my tongue. “Mr. Lawson, Harold, I apologize, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go. I respect you; I respect the friendship you had with Dina’s dad. As he’s not here to ask, I’m asking you for permission to marry Dina.”
I make sure to lock eyes with the older Lawson so he can see just how serious my intent is. He’s silent for what seems like forever, Harrison too, they can’t seem to form words for a moment. Harold takes a pull from his beer then setting it down, never breaking eye contact with me. Then finally he speaks.
“Ryder, I don’t know you well, but over the years, I can see you’ve worked hard and have your shit together. I think that you and Dina’s dad would have gotten along well. Seeing that you’re this serious, I can say yes, you have my blessing son. Dina’s parents would have loved you and are looking down watching over their baby girl and smiling at the happiness you’ve given her.” His eyes are slightly glassing over in unshed tears.
Then he looks at Brayden. “Brayden, your time will come. First you gotta get clean. Maggie and you can work this out. She loves you, she is hurt and lost right now, but she’ll sort that all out in time.”
We all sit and eat, continuing in idle chit chat. Harrison looks at me, “Ryder, just so we’re clear, my dad may be happy for you, but you hurt Dina, I’ll rip you a new one. You got me? She’s been through enough.”
He looks to Brayden. “You, Brayden, just need to grow the hell up. Be a man and fix your shit. Nuff said on that.”
Love and Repair Series Box Set Page 17