I blinked at the smoking joint before snatching it up and sticking it to my lips. The first time I smoked with him, we were in a room full of people, and I was scared that I would look stupid. So I did it. Not everyone snorted stuff at their parties, but everyone did smoke, so I joined them. I didn’t clarify it as a habit because I didn’t have the urge to do it all the time. I just did it when I was with him.
I let the smoke slide down my throat and fill up my lungs. My entire body began to tingle as every ticking nerve relaxed. I took another hit and slowly all of my troubles began to fade away with the smoke. I had no inhibitions. My sweaty hand gripped it, and I took another long draw. The buzz hit me hard this time causing me to cough. I shut my eyes as Reese’s laughter rang out, and he smacked my back.
“You gotta take it easy, love. You’re just getting used to it.” He gave me another pat on the back and grabbed the joint.
“Where are we even at?” I finally asked, taking a good look around the room. He’d talked me into skipping school today and hanging out with him. We were in a small studio apartment. Movie and band posters hung along the walls, held up by scotch tape, and wrinkled at the corners. We were sitting on an old, tattered blue futon, and the only thing that didn’t look like it was picked out of a trashcan was the big screen TV hanging on the wall across from us. In the opposite corner, a large mattress was lying on the floor without a bedframe, covered with sheets and un-made blankets.
“This is my bro’s place,” he answered, finishing the joint off, tossing the residue onto the magazine and kicking his feet back onto the table. “He doesn’t care if I crash here sometimes.”
“How old is he?” I asked curiously. We didn’t share much about each other. He’d only mentioned his brother a few times. We didn’t talk about our personal problems. We didn’t share our dreams or goals, most likely because we didn’t have any. Our time together consisted of hanging out at his friend’s houses, getting dinner, and going to parties. I’d invited him over to watch a movie once, but he spent the entire time sticking his hands up my shirt and slobbering all over my neck. That was the last time that happened. I needed alcohol before I was going to be able to handle that shit again.
I was inexperienced, and I didn’t want him to know that. Sure, I’d messed around with guys before, but I was still a virgin. With my brother and Dawson around, it was hard for me to go on a date, let alone let a guy get to third base. They’d let guys take me out and then threatened them the next day at school. Finally, they just quit asking. Guys, especially high school boys, don’t want to deal with threats. They just want to get laid.
“He’s twenty-two and tight as fuck, so don’t worry. If he comes come, he’ll be cool and won’t kick us out or anything like that,” he added.
“Oh,” I said, the small word just popping out of my mouth.
“He won’t be home for awhile anyways. He usually goes to the pub around the corner and shoots darts after work.” He grabbed the vodka bottle in his hand, moved the heel of his foot to the edge of the table, and slid it forward. He winked before taking a swig from the bottle and handing it to me.
I grabbed it with both hands. “Chaser?” I asked, raising a brow.
“He doesn’t have shit in his fridge unless you want water?”
I curled my upper lip cringing and shook my head. “That’d probably taste worse.”
“Babe, it’s just like taking a shot,” he insisted. Instead of answering him, I nodded my head, took a gulp from the bottle, and swallowed it roughly. He laughed, grabbing it back and took another drink as I handled the after-effects of the harsh liquid hitting my belly. “See, I told you it’s not so bad.” The bottle came back my way, and I took another drink until I forgot how many gulps I had ingested.
I gasped as I was suddenly shoved back onto the couch. My eyes shot wide open, and I tensed as Reese’s weight hovered above me. I attempted to push myself forward, but my shoulders hit the arm of the couch at the same time he grabbed my hand and settled it down against his jean-covered bulge. I flinched, immediately reacting, and pulling my hand back, but he stopped me and kept it there.
“It’s okay, love,” he whispered, leaning down and pressing hit hot lips against my neck. “I know you’re inexperienced, and I fucking dig it.”
I pushed on his chest and managed to yank my hand away from his crotch. He pulled away as I lifted myself up with my elbows and looked directly at him. “You do?” I asked, shocked.
There was no way he dug me not putting out. He’d been frustrated with me before when he was drunk a few times, but never forced me to do anything. Deep down, I knew sooner or later, the day was going to come. He’d get tired of waiting. I knew what Reese liked, I’d overheard plenty of conversations, and it wasn’t about his fondness for dating virgins. It was about him steering clear of girls who didn’t spread their legs and entertaining those who did.
The weight of his fingers brushed against my arm. “Hell yeah, do you know how damn hot it is to have someone who hasn’t fucked all of your friends.” I tilted my head up at him. “How hot it is that you haven’t been screwing every guy in my neighborhood?” His mouth got closer to mine, and I immediately got a whiff of the rancid aroma of alcohol. “You’re clean and pure, love.” But he wanted to change that. Day by day, he was changing me. I was no longer that pure girl. My lungs were filled with smoke, my stomach poison, and my heart was paralyzed.
My head spun as his mouth worked its way to my neck .I shut my eyes and my entire body shivered as his hand slowly glided up my shirt, rubbing my bare skin. I was rushed into a whirlwind of emotions, losing myself. The feel of my bra loosened as the fabric was pulled down. I gasped as he groped both of my breasts. He massaged them in a circular motion, as a loud groan came from the back of his throat.
I grew more lightheaded with every passing second. His body began moving in rhythm against mine as he whispered all of the things he liked about me in my ear. He told me I was sexy. He told me I was special. His words worked my brain, his hands worked my emotions, and he grinded his hard-on against my core. I suddenly awakened, the cloud of fog still there, but growing clearer as excitement began to hit me. I lifted my arms up and he pulled my shirt over my head. My arms immediately went down to my side and away from his view.
“This cool?” he asked, his dark eyes boring down at my heaving chest. I nodded in response as I tried to control my breathing. His hips grinded into me rougher, and his groans grew more incessant. My drunken mind took over, and warmth began to spread through me. I moaned, moving my hips faster against his, pelvis hitting pelvis, his erection rubbing against my sensitive spot as my head fell back and his mouth latched onto a nipple. A hand went to the button of my jeans, flicking them open swiftly, and I immediately froze.
I rose up to stop him, but was immediately interrupted by a door slamming shut.
Tessa
I yelped, my head darting up, and connecting with Reese’s, resulting in both of us crying out in pain.
“What the fuck?” Reese snarled, rubbing his forehead and glaring past me. I crossed my arms tightly across my bare chest, trying my hardest to cover up, and reach for my shirt at the same time. Reese’s arm dropped down, and he handed me my bra. I hurriedly pulled my shirt on over my head and tossed my bra into my open bag sitting on the floor.
My face heated as I slowly rotated my body around to see what was going on. I gasped loudly, and my hand flew up to my mouth. It was him. The guy from the party who’d sat with me until Dawson came and who’d given me his flannel.
His eyes widened, and I knew he recognized me. His legs planted wide, those eyes now focused on me; as he slid the bottoms of his tennis shoes against the floor. His gaze moved to Reese who was still halfway on top of me, to the bottle of alcohol, and then to the crushed up pill residue. I was also sure he didn’t miss the smell of weed wavering through the air, either.
“Take her the fuck home,” he snarled, his voice rough as he pointed a thick finger at me.
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“Bastion, what the fuck is your problem?” Reese fired back, pushing his weight up off of me, and sitting up. He leaned forward, his elbows hitting his knees, and eyed his brother harshly. I kept my arms around my body and pulled my bag into my lap. The more I could cover myself the better.
He kept his eyes on me and ignored Reese. “I told you to stay away from his shit. If I would’ve known you were hanging out with him, I would’ve warned you even more.”
“Huh?” Reese asked, rising up, his back going straight. He looked from me to his brother. “You two know each other? What the fuck?”
“Yeah we know each other,” Bastion answered, and I opened my mouth to argue we’d only met once, but he didn’t give me the chance. “I found her stumbling around Bobby’s yard drunk and oblivious to where the hell she was.” His eyes glared into Reese’s. “She’s not like us, and you fucking know it. Quit whatever bullshit you’ve got going on with her and take her home. And don’t you dare bring her here again, or I will confiscate my key,” he added venomously. “I’m giving you five minutes. Get this shit,” he pointed to the mess on the table, “cleaned the fuck up.”
He whirled around and stormed out of the room while slamming the door in the process. I smacked my palm against my forehead and groaned. “That’s your brother?”
I buttoned my pants, and Reese adjusted his clothes. “He’s being a complete douchebag. Why didn’t you tell me you knew him?”
Did he not realize we were all just as shocked at the revelation? “I wouldn’t say we know each other. He gave Dawson directions to come get me.”
His head jerked sideways, and his eyes turned cold. A vein began to pulse from his neck, as his breathing grew ragged.
Shit, wrong thing to say.
He grabbed the vodka bottle on the table, and it shattered against a Sports Illustrated poster of a model in a bikini. “Of course, he fucking gave your pussy-ass boyfriend directions to come get you and take you away from me!” He seethed, jumping up from the couch, and pacing in front of the table. He sniffled a few times, rubbing his nose in the process, as he tried to control his anger. It didn’t work. He kicked a few magazines lying on the floor and cursed under his breath rapidly.
“He’s not my boyfriend. You know that,” I said, nervously.
“Who knows who the fuck he is, Tessa. You barely talk about shit with me.” It was the same with him, but I chose to not point that out. I just wanted to go home.
I grabbed my bag and fished for my keys when I realized I couldn’t drive home. We were both drunk and high. There was no way either of us was getting behind the wheel.
“How am I going to get home?” I asked, changing the subject and praying he would, too.
He stopped his pacing and gave me a penetrating stare. “Is your car here?”
“Uh yeah, I followed you.” Did he really forget that?
He threw his hand out and motioned to the door. “Then go home.”
I flinched at the cruel tone of his words. “I can’t drive like this.”
“Then I’ll fucking follow you home in my car. You need to go see your other boyfriend or something?” He kicked the wall and yelled at the ceiling.
“Please stop,” I said quietly, my voice breaking as I shook my head.
He looked at me, something suddenly hitting him, and his face fell. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I just like you so much, and I don’t know what’s going on with you guys.”
“Nothing, okay? Just let it go,” I said, exasperated.
He shook his head and blew out a hard breath. “Let’s just get out of here.”
I nodded, knowing I had no other options. I could handle this. It wasn’t a far drive. I’d just drive slowly and carefully. I rested my bag on my shoulder and followed him out the door.
His brother was leaning against the wall when we walked out of the door, startling me. His arms were crossed, one leg kicked back against the wall, as he eyed us suspiciously. “I know you’re not planning on driving?” he asked me.
“I’m following her in my car. She’ll be fine,” Reese explained.
“You’re not driving either, drunk ass,” he told him.
“You just kicked us out, how the fuck do you think we’re supposed to leave?”
“You stay here. I’ll take her home.”
“But my car is here,” I said, finally joining the conversation.
“I’ll drive your ride and have a friend pick me up from your place.” He pointed at Reese. “You get your ass back in there and clean up my place before I beat your ass.”
“She’s not leaving with you,” Reese argued. I clasped my hands in front of me, leaning against the wall as I suddenly grew dizzier, and watched their heated exchange as my stomach rumbled.
“Don’t start this shit,” Bastion said. “I don’t fuck around with drunk girls, I’m better than that shit.” Reese winced at his words, and my stomach grew more nauseous. What did that mean? He looked at me. “Give me your keys.” I handed them over with shaky hands. “We’ll be back.” He didn’t wait for Reese to say anything. Instead, he grabbed my hand to pull me down the hallway.
“But you have no problem fucking my leftovers,” Reese yelled from behind us.
It happened so fast. One second Bastion had my hand, and the next he had Reese pinned against the wall. “Reel the fucking attitude in and quit with that shit. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Reese pushed him away and walked to the side. “Whatever. Take her the fuck home. I don’t give a shit.” He walked back into the apartment and slammed the door behind him.
“Come on,” Bastion said, gesturing to the doors with his chin. He unlocked my car, and hopped into the driver’s side, as I joined him in the passenger’s. “Where we headed? I need to tell my buddy where to pick me up.” I gave him directions, and he typed them into his phone. The motor purred to life, and we took off down the street.
“What’s your name?” he asked, beating his long fingers against my steering wheel to the low music coming from the speakers.
“Tessa,” I answered, playing with my seatbelt.
“Tessa, why didn’t you listen to me?”
“I don’t even know you.”
He looked over at me while steering with one hand. “So you don’t take advice from strangers? Sometimes we’re the best people to take advice from. We’re not afraid to hurt your feelings.”
“What did he mean about you messing with his leftovers?” I asked curiously.
“It’s a long story.”
“Shorten it then.” There was more to the story, and I needed to know why Reese had looked so pissed at him. The altercation and chaos was pulling away my high, and I was falling back into reality.
He groaned. “He dated this girl for awhile.”
“Alexa?”
“My shortening it means I’m not naming names. I’ll tell you the story, but you aren’t getting specifics.”
“Fine, carry on,” I said, waving my hands through the air.
“He treated her like shit, cheated on her all the time, and got into some heavy shit. Eventually, he ended up taking her down that road with him. He had her drinking, doing drugs, and doing whatever he wanted her to do. I came across her crying at a party one night. She was so messed up she could barely stand.”
“Sounds familiar,” I said quietly.
He nodded his head in agreement. “She was hysterical and crying about Reese hooking up with some other chick upstairs. I’ve known the girl since she was little, we’d all grown up together, and I wasn’t leaving her alone like that. I didn’t give a shit if she was my brother’s girlfriend or not. I was only giving a shit about her. So I put her in my car and drove her to my place to crash. I slept on the futon and let her have the bed. Reese stumbled in the next morning, still wasted and high off his ass, and flew off the handle. He always thought she’d be there, no matter what terrible shit he did to her or to himself. But she finally grew tired of his shit. I want you to do the same
thing.” He looked away from the road and stared directly at me.
“He probably needed an explanation,” I said quickly, averting the attention away from me. “I’m sure it looked bad.”
He shook his head. “Reese isn’t as dumb as he leads people to believe. He put his hands on her. I interfered, and that’s why he thinks something happened. He’s so fucked up he believes that only a guy sleeping with a girl would protect her. Now he wants nothing to do with her and he blames me for their break-up.”
“Why does she still hang out him if he did all of that?”
“She’s a strong girl. She acts like nothing bothers her. But deep down, she still feels love for him. He was her first boyfriend, her first love, and there’s always something about the bad boy that wronged you. For some reason, you girls always love them.”
I grabbed an old water bottle sitting in the cup holder and took a drink. “So you’re not a bad boy?” I asked.
He slowly braked at a stop sign. “I’m not anything. I’m not a fan of labels, but I’m nothing like my brother. My dad isn’t around to look out for him half the time, so I try my best to help him out.” He turned right and cruised down the street.
“But you buy him alcohol?”
“I don’t buy him shit. He has a fake.”
“Why would he lie about that?”
“Probably because he didn’t want you to know how often he frequents bars and gets wasted.”
I avoided his eye contact and looked out the window. I watched dead leaves fall to the ground to their new home. What a simple way to go. You die along with everyone you’re surrounded with, fall onto a beautiful setting, and then get blown away for a short ride.
“Oh,” I said quietly. In a way, I felt bad for Reese. Maybe that was in his past. Maybe he was trying to change.
“You realize now why you need to stay away? I know he’s my brother, but like I said, you’re a good girl, and you know it. You can tell just by looking at you you’re dealing with some heavy shit. That’s obvious, but he will break you, girl. He will make your problems ten times worse without you even realizing it until it’s too damn late. He’s fucking toxic. He will poison you.”
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