I shifted around, the leather of the couch squeaking underneath me. The room was inviting. A box of tissues sat on a table, and she rolled her chair towards me. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lina. Let’s get to know each other.” I nodded nervously. “Let’s start out with you telling me a few things about yourself.”
“Like what?”
“Anything. You can tell me your favorite color, your favorite book, things that annoy you, or how you’re feeling right now. You can tell me anything.”
“My favorite book is Pride and Prejudice. My favorite color is purple. And I’m nervous and completely terrified at the moment.”
She smiled brightly. “Let’s change that then, shall we?”
I left my therapy appointment feeling relieved. I knew my problems wouldn’t be mended from one appointment, but it was nice to be able to get everything out. There were things I was too embarrassed to talk to Dawson or my parents about because I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me or think I was crazy. But Lina seemed to understand me.
Dawson
I wasn’t going to push her about her appointment. All that mattered was that she’d shown up. If she wanted to share with me, I’d be there to listen. But if she didn’t I’d be her wall. I’d be there for her to lean on, and I could take her silence if she was getting better.
“Do you want to watch a show or something?” she asked, walking up the stairs. She wasn’t trying to be sensual, but my eyes clung to her hips swaying back and forth, with every step she took. I bit down on my bottom lip, resisting the urge to reach out, and touch her beautiful body.
“Sure,” I answered. “I’ll even let you choose one of your cheesy ones.” Watching TV with Tessa was a pain in the ass. We’d argue over what to watch, fight over the remote, and she’d always end up winning in the end. The girl was hard to say no to.
She halted in her step and looked back at me. “I don’t watch cheesy shows.”
I snorted. “Baby, you watch movies about vampires who are still in high school. You know that’s not normal, right?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “What? They’ve got fangs and an education to go with it. That’s a complete package right there.”
“You do realize they’re dead, right?”
“Obviously, we can’t all be perfect.”
I laughed. “Just in case you forgot, I don’t sparkle, so please don’t get your hopes up.”
She whipped back around, ignoring my comment, and headed into her room. “I’m sure you have glitter in your veins somewhere,” she replied, laughing and getting comfortable on her bed.
I shut her door to block out the noise of Derrick’s video games, fell down beside her, and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV, but it was immediately snatched out of my hand. “You said I could choose,” she said, flipping the TV on.
“Go right ahead, vampire-it up,” I said, wrapping my arms around her hip. She looked at me over her shoulder as I pulled her across the bed and situated her at my side. I bent down and pressed my lips to her shoulder. Her body shifted beside, her chin resting on my chest, and she looked up at me through thick lashes as her lips slightly parted.
Leaning forward, her chin left my chest as her palm hit it, and she lifted herself up to kiss me, making the first move, and shocking the shit out of me. The thrill of her lips hitting mine crawled across my skin, lighting me on fire. I wasn’t sure if it was relief that our love was no longer a “forbidden romance,” or because of everything we’d been going through. But something was different. This kiss, it was more intense than any kiss we’d shared.
My mouth flew open, immediately tasting the flavor of the hot chocolate. I drifted into another world, sliding my tongue against hers, and noticing the thickness of her breathing into my mouth as my hand traveled under her sweater. I stroked the smooth, bare skin, and she groaned, her hands winding around my back.
My hands grasped onto her hips. I wished I could push her down onto the bed and run my lips across every inch of her body, but I pulled away. I looked down at her nervously and gulped. My brain was screaming at me, calling me an idiot. My gut was telling me to shut the hell up and keep kissing her. But I ignored them. Because I had to know.
“Did you sleep with him?” I asked.
Her back stiffened. I’d detonated a bomb against the mood, but I couldn’t stop Alexa’s words from running through my mind. My stomach curled at the thought of him touching her.
“What?” She asked, averting her eyes.
“Did you sleep with him?”
“Reese?” I nodded, my pulse pounding when she broke out of my hold and rose up. She scooted backwards, her back hitting the headboard of the bed, and rubbed her hands down her arms. “I don’t think this is the best time to talk about that.”
“You’re right, it isn’t. There’s probably never going to be a good time to talk about it. But let’s get it over with and move forward.”
I shifted and settled down in front of her. I opened up my hand, gently palming her cheek, and stroked my fingers against it. “Nothing will change my mind when you answer, okay? Just tell me, and we’ll never bring it up again.” I was a glutton for punishment.
Seconds passed before her mouth opened slowly. “I did.”
I nodded slowly, keeping my hands on her, but feeling my muscles pulsating underneath my skin. I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn’t. That asshole had preyed on her weakness when she was down, and I wouldn’t be that guy, too.
“Are we stopping because of that?” she asked, apprehensively.
“No.”
“Then why?”
“I’m not like him. I’m going to let you work your shit out before you stress about having sex. I want to wait until you’re ready to take that step.” As bad as I wanted to peel those skintight leggings down her legs and feel how good it felt to be inside of her, I had to hold back.
“What if I’m ready?”
“You’re not ready.” Her mouth opened to argue, but I kept talking. “We’re not ready, baby. Us having sex will change things, and you’re already going through enough changes. I’m not going to leave you or go hook up with other girls. I’ll be here watching vampire shit every damn night if you want.”
“I know sex will change things, but I’m okay with that. I know you’re not like him.”
“Do you regret having sex with Reese?” I asked.
“Well, yeah.”
“Exactly, I’m giving you time, baby, and you take it.”
“But we’ve known each other for years,” she argued.
“I know, but we’re new to our relationship.”
She tipped her head back against the headboard. “When did you get so un-sexual. I thought you were some sex god or something.”
I chuckled. “Sex god? I’m far from a sex god. I’m not saying we can’t mess around. I rested my hand on her thigh before slowly elevating it.
“Okay, maybe you just suck a little,” she said, biting the edge of her lip.
“Just no sex,” I said, moving my hand higher, feeling the soft cotton of her leggings against my palm.
“No sex,” she repeated, smiling.
I grabbed her feet, slid her body down the bed, until her head rested on a pillow. “Thank you for giving me this chance and not being pissed at me because I didn’t have the guts to do this a long time ago,” I whispered, moving back up, and hovering my lips overs hers before kissing her hard. She kissed me back, and my hand went back to exploring the silky soft skin underneath her sweater. Her breathing hitched as I traced my fingers around her bellybutton, moving it in circles, as our kiss grew heated. She let out a shallow breath when my hand hit the underwire of her bra. The fabric was rough against my skin, feeling like a thick lace, but I needed to see for myself.
She lifted up on her elbows, like she was reading my mind, reached behind her back, and I felt bra loosen. Her hands flew down to the hem of her top, brushing against my arm, and she swiftly pulled the sweater over her head. I fastened
my eyes on her bare stomach, her ivory skin, and stopped at the bra hanging loose around her plump, breasts, a nipple peeking out from underneath her bra. I used both hands to slide the thin straps down her arms and toss it onto the floor.
The only thought in my mind was giving her, this girl I’d been in love with for years, pleasure. I cupped her breasts with both hands and massaged them gently. They fit in my palms perfectly. “Is this okay, baby?” I asked, looking down at her.
She nodded.
I bowed down and tenderly took a nipple in my mouth. It hardened against my tongue. She gasped at the same time her back arched up into the air.
“Yeah, that’s definitely fine,” she said breathlessly. I mentally gave myself a huge high five. I’d thought about this for years. Every time she sauntered around in her tiny bikini, every time we lay in her bed and I ached with need to touch her, it was finally happening. I gave her breasts my full attention and felt her squirm underneath me. “More,” she said.
She wanted more, but I wasn’t sure how far I could go without wanting to plunge myself into her. I dipped my hand down, her legs instantly parting, and I rubbed her through her thin leggings as I kissed her deeply. Her hips withered and eyes looked at me with such passion it stole my breath. She moved in sync with my hand, and I slowly dipped it down underneath her waistband. She wiggled out of them without hesitation and took her panties with them.
She lay there, completely nude, giving me everything of her to see. She was perfect, every inch of her body was pure bliss, and I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I glided my fingers down between her legs and felt instantly how wet she was. A soft moan came out of her as I ran my fingers through her soft folds and then slowly slid one inside of her.
Her body arched off the bed as I carefully inserted another finger. She fit them like a glove. I grasped her hip as she began moving them against me. I worked her, my pace slow, and ravished in the sound of the ragged breaths coming from deep in her throat. Her body began to tremble, and I knew she was close. My fingers tingled as I quickened my speed, my hands getting faster with every passing second she got closer, until I felt her tense around my fingers, and her entire body locked up before relaxing. Her mouth opened wide as her eyes hooded on me and every ounce of stress she’d had from the day melted away. If me giving her orgasms gave her that look and feeling, I’d do it every day of her life.
“Holy freaking shit,” she muttered, throwing her hand over her face. “Really?” I slithered up and kissed her. “That’s what you’ve been keeping from me? You really, seriously do suck.”
I grinned, taking my fingers in my mouth, and sucking them gently. Her eyes jaw dropped. “No, baby, soon you’ll find out how good I suck,” I said, grinning.
She cleared her throat. “Well, I guess I can’t wait for that day.”
I chuckled and got up from the bed, situating myself through my pants, but there was no hiding this erection. She noticed, her eyes growing wide, but she was too shy to say anything about it, which was fine. I wasn’t expecting her to give me anything. I got just as much enjoyment getting her off as she did. Watching her come apart onto my fingers was plenty of pleasure for me.
“It wasn’t like this,” she whispered, as I headed across her room and grabbed a pair of sweatpants from her dresser and handed them to her. She grabbed her shirt from the floor, pulling it back over her head, without worrying about putting on her bra.
“What do you mean?” I asked, counting to ten and still trying to calm down my cock, as I sat down next to her.
“It wasn’t like this, or that, with him.” And there was my mood killer. Goodbye hard-on. I rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t want to know what it was like with him. “With you, I just feel so comfortable. It’s like I belong here with you. My mind doesn’t race as I question every touch you make. It was like my body knew you should be the only one touching me and anyone else was trespassing.”
I ran my hands over her silky tresses. “Because they are and you know what we do with trespassers?”
She looked up at me, her nose wrinkling. “We kill them?”
“Damn straight. Violators will be shot.”
She laughed, burying her head in my chest. “Oh God, that’s cheesy.”
“Really? I thought it was actually pretty original.”
“Don’t quit your day job, babe.” She grinned. If my cheesy ass jokes could get her to crack a smile, I’d be cheesy all damn long. “But you know it was the same way for me. Those girls were trespassers, but I’d suggest you not kill them. I don’t think you’d do well in prison.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m being serious. I slept with other girls, but it’s not like I actually saw them.”
“Then what did you see? Ghosts?”
“No, smart ass. This might make me sound like a huge asshole, but I didn’t see them when I was with him. I’d imagine them being you every single time. Why do you think I never had a serious girlfriend? When my eyes would open and reality would sink in, I’d realize they weren’t you, and I couldn’t give another girl something I couldn’t give you. I couldn’t spend my time with them. Instead, I’d come over here and hang out with you.”
“After you’d had sex with them?” She gave me a dirty look. “You’re really not making a good case for yourself, buddy.”
I laughed. “I should probably shut up now.”
She bent forward and kissed me softly on the lips. “Yeah, you probably should.” I kissed her back, moving my lips to her cheek, and then nuzzling her neck. “I wish we could’ve done this years ago,” she said.
I pulled away, balancing myself with one arm, and looked down at her. “Me too, babe.”
“If Tanner were here right now, I’d go kick him in the balls.”
I laughed. “He was doing it to protect his baby sister.”
“Baby sister? I’m two minutes older than him.” She paused, her face suddenly falling. “Or I was.”
I tapped her nose with my finger. “He would’ve been happy for us.”
“I know. You were the only guy he trusted me with. I bet if you‘d told him you wanted to be with me, he would’ve been okay with it. You might’ve had to take a few punches in the face, but he would’ve accepted it.”
I chuckled. “You’re right. Deep down, I think I knew I was going to, I just thought I had more time.”
“I like how you’re always trying to be the good guy.”
“I try.”
“On that note with you being a good guy, can we watch one of my cheesy shows now? I’m really behind, and my DVR is almost full.”
I threw my head back in fake horror. “I guess,” I tickled her side, and she giggled.
She clicked the TV on and hit a few more buttons. “Here you go,” she said, handing it over to me.
I looked at her dumbfounded. I’d never won this easily with her. Actually, I’d never won the remote over her. “What’s the catch? Is this some kind of test where if the guy doesn’t pick the right movie for his girlfriend he really doesn’t love her?”
“Nope, this is the part where I realize that I don’t always have to be in charge.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Anyways, I think I’ll be a nice girlfriend today, I can’t even believe I’m calling myself that, and let you choose the show. Are you sure the medicine isn’t giving me hallucinations?”
I laughed. “If so, we’re both crazy then. I like the girlfriend version of Tessa.”
“That’s a really low standard if letting you watch shows makes me the best girlfriend ever,” she laughed.
“Oh, that’s just the icing on the cake with you, babe.” I flipped through her DVR list, putting it on her vampire romance to make her happy. If it meant watching bloodsuckers walk the hallways of their high school with my girl, I had no problem with it.
She gave me a bright smile and turned her attention to the TV while staying in my hold. Thirty minutes later, I heard faint snoring coming from beside me. I wrapped my arm around her tightly, rested my head on the p
illow, and settled her into my side gently.
“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked Tessa, starting her car and turning the heat on high.
She nodded, rubbing her hands together in front of the warmth flowing through the vents. “I’m sure.” She was going to regret this.
I backed out of the driveway slowly. Snow blanketed trees covered every rooftop, and the roads were icy. I turned on the windshield wipers, watching them squeak back and forth, and disposing of the large, falling flakes.
I talked to my mom last night, and she’d asked me to ride with her, but I’d told her I wanted to drive myself. I wouldn’t be able to face her afterwards. She’d probably leave me on the side of the road stranded to freeze to death.
She stretched the seatbelt across her body and buckled it. “My parents can come with us if you want?”
I cautiously kept my hand on the wheel and my eyes on the road. There weren’t very many cars out, which left the roads clear, with the exception of a few people out shoveling their driveways.
“I appreciate it, babe, but I’m good.” The less witnesses, the better.
“You know everything is going to be okay, right? You need to do what’s best for you.” I nodded but stayed quiet. I appreciated her trying to keep me calm, but my mind was racing. Would I regret what I was about to do? Would my mom hate me forever? “You need to quit trying to make everyone else happy and think of yourself for once. This decision is going to affect your life, too.”
“I’ll never stop trying to make you happy,” I threw back, gradually pressing my foot onto the gas pedal, careful not to give it too much power all at once, and passing a green light.
She grinned widely and slapped her hand against her chest dramatically. “I wasn’t referring to myself, you can keep making me happy all you want. But other people … screw ‘em. If they don’t want to see you happy, then it’s all you and me, babe.”
“It’s you and me,” I repeated, merging onto the interstate and driving at a steady speed. Tessa pulled out her phone from her bag and plugged it into her stereo as soft music began to stream from the speakers. She didn’t turn it up too loud; she just let it float through the air quietly to relax me as I focused on the winter wonderland in front of us.
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