“Why are you working so hard to provide for us? When you have no idea what will happen between you and me?”
He seemed confounded by my question. “Because that’s what I do.”
“Circe might never appear again. I need to start accepting that. She wasn’t doing well before, and it’s only getting colder out there.” My eyes began to water. “Convince me to let Aric go.”
“You could no more give up on him than you gave up on me. The second you figure out a way to reach him, you’ll be saddling up to go.”
“Why won’t you yell at me? Get mad? Stop being so freaking patient and fight for me!” I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I was frantic for resolution in at least one area of my life. “Tell me I’m staying with you no matter what happens in the Arcana world.”
“And what about the Reaper’s son?”
“You said if we couldn’t save Aric, then you and I would raise this kid together. Could you love Tee?”
“Your kid?” Jack leaned in and put his forehead against mine. “Ouais.”
“Then tell me you’ll raise him as your own son. Demand to.”
“I’m trying to do right by you, Evie. You think this is easy for me?” He drew back, something like panic in his eyes. “I’m scared to hope. Scared to get too attached. I know how this song ends.”
The Jubilee all-hands-on-deck horn blared over his words, signaling LOOT! More than that shift could carry.
Jack muttered a curse. “I bet they breached our goddamned frigate.” He strode over to his gear. “I got to get down there, me, or all the meds’ll be picked over.”
Wait, what? “You can’t go without Kentarch.”
With a resigned shrug, he said, “Got to learn to navigate those ships without him.” He dragged on his coat and grabbed his helmet. “I give him a couple of days tops.” He turned toward the door.
I rushed forward, grabbing his arm. “Don’t you dare leave!”
“You just got through telling me you want me to step up and demand to raise Tee as my own. Then you tell me not to go out and provide for him? You can’t have it both ways. You stay put, you hear me?”
“No.” I jutted my chin. “I won’t. If you leave, then I will too.”
“I’ll be so worried about you, I woan be able to focus. You want my concentration divided?”
He knew how much I feared losing him again, and he was using that fear to manipulate me! “Of course not, but—”
“Then stay put.” He slammed the door behind him.
“Ugh!” I hadn’t felt this helpless since the days right after the Flash when I would primal-scream in my barn.
If he could risk himself in the trench, then I could risk grabby hands and drunken apocalypse survivors in a freaking eatery. Either we trusted saintly Lorraine’s laws—or we didn’t.
I went to the makeshift sink and washed, then laid out my best outfit: new jeans and a red sweater that Jack had found for me. I had to lie on the bed to zip the fly over my rounding belly.
Suddenly the ground seemed to totter. Metal screeched in the trench, and explosions sounded.
A sob escaped my lips. “Jack.”
33
Death
Just inside the sphere
I gazed over my shoulder at the castle in the distance, then forced my attention back to the road. The edge of the sphere loomed not even half a mile away.
No time for doubt, Domīnija.
Thanatos whickered impatiently, as if reminding me of the stakes: the loss of the entire game. And just as importantly, the loss of revenge.
I would find my wife before she died, in time to collect her head myself, and then I would proudly wear her icon for the next several centuries.
As I always did.
How badly do I want her, Fool? Very badly indeed.
I dropped the visor on my helmet, urging Thanatos into a gallop. His breaths smoked, his hooves crunching the snow.
As we picked up speed, I leaned forward in the saddle, our movements unconscious after all these years together. I’d missed this rhythm, had missed the chill air stealing through my helmet.
We approached the yellow boundary. Nearing . . . I tensed as we crossed.
Freed.
I took a mental inventory, then exhaled with relief because I felt no different. My hatred of the Empress still seethed. I laughed and ran my gauntlet along Thanatos’s neck.
My laughter faded as a hollow feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. Clear of the Hanged Man’s influence, my memories began to take shape differently in my mind. I shook my head hard, fighting vertigo.
As emotions shifted, righting themselves, bile rose in my throat. Paul had . . . reversed me.
He’d buried anything good in me—as if in a grave.
I spurred Thanatos into a breakneck pace. What had I done to my wife and child? Images of her escape flashed through my mind.
I gnashed my teeth, my insides flayed. Dear gods, what have I done?
34
The Empress
On the widow’s walk, I stared down at the mindboggling scene. “Jack!” I shrieked, not expecting an answer.
Ships sloshed about, toys in a giant bathtub. The ocean liner had tipped over, its bow underwater and sinking fast. Enormous propellers crept round and round.
Much of the metal framework had crashed down.
Rain-soaked Jubileans gathered on this platform, murmurs carrying through the crowd. “They’re gone. They’re just gone.” “The Rift took out the entry ship.” “Anybody trapped in there is dead.”
All the workers had made it into the first ship and beyond, but then their sole way out had been turned upside down.
Like a reversed tableau.
One by one, Jubileans staggered off the platform, shaking their heads. No citizens mounted a rescue brigade—the crowds that were so quick to call for executions had fallen quiet—because nothing was left to be done.
From my chronicles, I knew that a past Empress had been able to see through her vines. Could I use them to locate Jack amidst that colossal snarl of wreckage? If so, how could I bring him back to the surface?
At my wits’ end, I screamed for Circe. No answer as usual. My claws dug into my palms as I fought the urge to pull out my hair.
What can I do? Jack, I can’t lose you again!
Mind racing, I scanned the surface. What could I do—?
I spied something out of the corner of my eye. A faint light flickered just above the waterline. I squinted against the foam and stinging rain. A helmet light?
My breath left me. “Jack!” He clung to a remnant of scaffolding.
An enormous wave rumbled along the trench, barreling down on him. If I didn’t get him out of its path, he’d be washed away forever.
I was transported right back to that night when I thought I saw him burned alive.
Can’t lose him again! Glyphs blazing, I slashed my claws over my forearm, bleeding vines. Uncaring that I might be seen, I commanded my soldiers to charge down the face of the trench. They spread like lightning bolts, forking out.
When they reached him, I perceived the vibration of his relieved yell. Coiling around him, my vines began returning him to me.
I sensed him bellow, “Go, Evie, faster!”
That wave raced toward him. In its grip was more lethal wreckage. He’d be crushed, drowned.
“No, no, no!” I clenched my fists. My vines responded in fits and jerks. Going to be so close. Why couldn’t I control my soldiers? They sputtered—even as that foaming wave crested . . . .
Panic drummed in my chest. Nothing mattered beyond this!
With a scream, I raised my bloody hands. “Obey me, soldiers, or pay!” They shot higher, as if in fear.
The wave roared by just below Jack’s feet!
I sagged against the railing, murmuring, “Bring him to me . . . .” Soon he was close enough for us to exchange a look.
His face was pale, but his eyes were intent on me. So incredibly brave.
Even over the tumult, I heard a gasp. I whipped my head around. The widow I’d met earlier stared at me, her eyes wide.
I said, “You can’t tell anyone about this.” A glance from her to Jack. He was only fifteen or so feet away. Almost to the railing.
Mouth ajar, she backed away, then sped down the platform steps. Shit!
I couldn’t worry about her right now. Jack was still in danger. Getting him topside was only the first step. I had to get him warm. Closer to me, closer . . .
Here. He hauled himself over the railing. Somehow I forced myself to release him from my protective vines.
“Peekôn?” He yanked me against his chest, his strong arms locking around me.
Against his coat, I cried, “You almost died!”
“You saved me.” He pressed a kiss atop my head, then drew back. “Come on, I’m taking you home. You got to be freezing out here with no jacket.”
“Me?” I felt nothing but adrenaline and the tingle of regeneration across my clawed arm. “What happened?” Though the horse might be out of the barn concerning my abilities, I commanded my vines to drop off into the deep. Sacrificed soldiers.
Jack helped me down the stairs. “I was on the scaffold, about to step onto the ship. I watched it break off right before my eyes. The steps above me collapsed.”
As we hurried through the town, people milled around in shock, like Baggers without prey.
“Christ.” Jack yanked off his helmet. “They’re all gone. An entire shift of workers. Dead.” Was he reliving the devastation of his army?
One thought was on repeat: Almost lost him again.
Almost lost him.
Almost lost him.
To keep from screaming, I bit my lip till it nearly bled. Finally home was in sight.
As soon as our tin can’s door closed behind us, I turned on him. “I told you not to go!” I burst into tears as I beat on his chest. “You’ll never go down in that cursed place again! Do you hear me, Jack? Never.”
“Stop it.” He grabbed my wrists. “Calme-toi! You got to keep yourself calm.”
Tears fell unchecked. “Screw calm! Do you understand what that was like? To see you clinging . . . and that wave coming. And if you knew what I went through last time . . .” Twist, tighten, constrict. “When I thought you died, I imagined a tourniquet around my heart because it was bleeding out!”
“Evie, non. I’m here.” He cupped my face, using his thumbs to brush away my tears. “Not goan anywhere.”
He was here. But in this world, how long could we possibly have together? “Jack, I love you. I can’t ever lose you again.” Adrenaline and fear morphed into heat. Desire. I turned my head to nuzzle one of his palms, kissing the callused skin.
He sucked in a breath, and his big body tensed against mine. Combustion ignited.
When I faced him, his attention dropped to my lips, so I wetted them. His eyes met mine, his smoldering expression asking, Do you want this?
Mine answered: Try to deny me.
He bent down; I’d already gone to my toes. When our lips met, logic evaporated like a water drop on a sizzling skillet. I tasted cold and salt on his lips. Almost lost him. I deepened the kiss, tugging on his neck as he yanked off his heavy coat.
The tension that had been building between us erupted. I drank in his raw passion, unable to get enough. Between kisses, he tore off his soaked shirt as I snatched at his belt. His strong chest heaved breaths.
Tumbling to the pallet. More kissing. Tongues twirling. My God, he’s a sinful kisser.
As he helped me shed my wet clothes, he murmured in French how much he’d loved and missed me, how much he’d lusted for me. “Now you’re in my arms. I’ve imagined this so many times.”
The winds gusted, reminding me of when I’d first been with Aric. As soon as the thought arose, I felt myself shutting down, my hands settling on Jack’s muscled chest.
He sensed the change, drawing back.
My guilty gaze flitted to my wedding ring. Aric’s not coming for you; you can’t go to him. Circe’s MIA. Make a life with Jack, the man who deserves all the happiness you can give him.
I’d almost lost him tonight.
All I had to do was accept him and revel in the fact that he’d survived.
He grasped my hand. “Let’s take this off.” He gently drew the ring from my finger, like a reverse engagement.
A nullification.
But I let him. He set it beside the pallet.
“Be with me,” he said, his accent thickening. “Stay with me.” He nipped my bottom lip, as exciting and sexy as he’d ever been. “Let’s stop regretting and start living.”
With a breathless nod, I allowed myself to fall under his spell. I gave myself up to it, to him.
His brows drew together. “If I’m goan to love once, I’m glad it’s you, peekôn.”
In answer, I pressed my lips to the cleft in his rugged chin. I feathered kisses along his jaw, then down his neck. I felt his groan beneath my lips. Then I kissed the brand on his chest. It was part of our history, the one we kept making together.
Once we were naked, his heated gaze roamed over me. My body was changing. What would he think of my new shape?
“Mère de Dieu. You’re so goddamned beautiful.” I’d never felt more naked, more vulnerable, but he sounded . . . awed. “A divinité.”
My glyphs glowed brighter, the light reflecting in his gray eyes.
His head dipped, his mouth trailing down my body, seemingly everywhere. My eyes widened as he explored me with his wicked lips and seeking tongue. Between kisses, he’d nip my inner thighs.
I melted for him, my fingers tunneling into his thick hair. “Jack . . . Jack!”
As his rough hands kneaded and cupped, he groaned his delight. He teased me till I was at the very edge, till I was panting and writhing for more. Then he rose up between my legs, threading his fingers with mine.
He gazed down at my face—as he had when he’d taken my virginity in that suspended moment of time. “I’ve got you, bébé.” He’d often told me that, his way of saying don’t be afraid; you’re safe. Now those words held an aggressive undertone. As if he was telling me, “I’m never letting you go. Never.”
That tone thrilled me.
His rigid muscles quaked with anticipation. “À moi, Evangeline.” His hips tilted.
My back arched with pleasure. His sinful kiss stole my screams.
35
Day 583 A.F.
By what must have been morning, Jack and I lay side by side, catching our breath as the room stopped spinning. We’d had sex four times over the night.
In a dazed tone, I murmured, “It is like coming home.”
He grinned over at me. “That’s what I’ve been saying. When it’s good between us, it’s really good.”
Good? He’d set my nerves on fire.
When we’d slept together months ago, everything had been new for me, our feelings just taking root. This time we’d been different as people, two individuals deeply in love—who’d thought we would never have another chance to express it.
Rising up on an elbow, he peered down at my face, searching my expression. “How’re you feeling? Got to know, me.”
“I have no regrets, if that’s what you’re asking.” But now reality descended on me with all the finesse of a collapsed ocean liner.
“And guilt?”
I looked away. “Some.” Tons.
He pinched my chin, forcing me to face him. “None of that, Evie. We got no time for it.”
Though I agreed . . . “I can’t help it.” Aric was the ghost between Jack and me. Just as Jack had been the ghost between me and Aric.
Forever screwed, Eves.
Making his tone light, he said, “As long as we’re talking about the elephant in the room . . . You’ve been with two beaux, and one of ’em is a supernatural knight.”
I saw where this was going, but a comparison between the two was futile. What I’d shared with each man was diffe
rent—yet perfect in its own way.
And perfect for me couldn’t be bested.
“How’d ole Jack compare?” He was partly teasing, but kind of serious too.
His rare show of insecurity made me want to wrap him in my arms and never let go. “You were amazing, and you know it, you cocky Cajun.” I found myself grinning, before I shut down.
“No, doan you dwell. Enjoy this peace with me.” In a gruff voice, he said, “Being with you is the only thing that makes me feel this way, but it’s no good if you doan feel it too.”
“I did. Earlier. Now I’m just confused.” I didn’t regret having sex with him, and surely that made me a bad person. An unfaithful wife. “Jack, I promised Aric forever.”
He sat up on the pallet, his scars filling me with equal parts sadness and tenderness. “You made that promise to him when you thought I was dead. And you promised me always, long before he was ever in the running.”
“I know, I know.” At least in this life.
His broad shoulders rose and fell on a breath. “I’m about to feel a heap of guilt myself.”
“Why?”
“For taking advantage of you. The only reason last night happened is because I almost went into the drink. You would’ve gone your whole life faithful to him, but you relived when you lost me last.”
That was true. Still . . . “Maybe I took advantage of you. You were freaked out because you almost died. Didn’t you believe you were done?”
He admitted, “Ouais.”
“Don’t forget I’m supposed to be this minxy seductress/mesmerizer. A mere mortal like you stood no chance.”
His lips curled. “So what do we do now, séductrice?”
Despite Jack’s efforts, I couldn’t relax. I sighed. “After nearly two months, I need to accept that Aric’s not coming for me. And saving him from Paul seems even more impossible when we can barely keep ourselves alive.” My eyes went wide. “What if that woman from the platform tells others what she saw?”
“We can’t stay here anyway. That first liner has never gone down before. The infrastructure’s toast.”
The Dark Calling Page 23