by D. R. Rosier
She shook her head, “That’s not what I asked. I asked what you were feeling, not what you did. You’re a good fighter if a little raw and low on stamina, and from what Katy said you know meditation, she’s also told me last night you may be limited but have a lot of raw power to use in those two spheres. I’d expected you to do better, so what were you feeling?”
Great, now he had to share his feelings? Maybe they’d paint their toenails later.
He humored her and thought back to it… what had he been feeling?
“Self conscious, I felt absurd trying to channel magic. But I was trying anyway.”
Katy’s eyes widened a bit, and Erin started eating with a smug look on her face, as if she’d solved the problem.
He grunted in frustration, “What?”
Katy answered, “You don’t believe it, not really, not yet. You might believe I have magic, or that you’re on another world, but you don’t believe you do, not yet. You need faith and belief in your magic for it to respond. It’s why you failed today.”
Katy asked Erin, “How did you know?”
Erin muttered, “It was written all over his face when you answered me earlier.”
He thought about that through the rest of the meal, although he wasn’t sure what he could do about it. He couldn’t just decide to believe if he had doubts, could he? It would… take time for his mind to adjust to his new reality. After dinner he took a quick bath and then got some sleep, it was going to be another long day tomorrow.
His muscles ached as he half parried and half dodged that last strike. They’d been going at it for about twenty five minutes now, a full five minutes longer than yesterday. It wasn’t that he was that much stronger, he just wanted to avoid that damned pole exercise for as long as he could and was pushing it.
Erin’s grin was feral, “Not bad, but you’re getting sloppier. Do you need a break?”
He growled and attacked. He knew he was outclassed, and he’d been keeping up only by the skin of his teeth, and his movements weren’t economized or smooth and only got worse as time went on. The fact that Erin was hardly even breathing hard put a dent in his pride, her sword style was smooth and looked effortless.
His body was in shape, he was a black belt in martial arts and had stood well in competitions. He had taken pride in his health and body almost as much as he did in his ability to take whatever he wanted and not get caught.
But now, he was coming to understand he was way too soft. The latest pass of their swords was just embarrassing, and she struck through his guard no less than three times.
Erin stopped him, “Enough sparring for today, you need to work the pole. Get the other sword first. Now, here is what you’re doing wrong.”
She went over how he kept overextending, and hitting harder than he needed to, which was causing him to exert more strength to return the sword to a guard position, or parry her next blow. Swords were sharp, they didn’t need to hit harder than was required to sink through armor, or flesh. This wasn’t like fighting with fists and feet. It was the cut flesh that killed the enemy.
She summed up, “You really are in good shape, and although you do need to work on the pole and increase your stamina, much of your problem is your style. I want you to think about that while you’re beating your pole.”
He started laughing at her last few words, and couldn’t stop. It was juvenile of course, but his arm was sore and he was frustrated, and it just struck him as hilarious. No doubt the endorphins released from the intense work out also had a part in it. She looked really pissed off, but he wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t messing with him, or even flirting. Her eyes were sparkling.
“Sorry, I’ll go… do that,” he said between breaths.
He walked over to the weapons shed still chuckling and got the heavier weapon. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his laughter or not, but she had him add two more moves to the series before he took a step back into a defensive posture before starting over. He wasn’t sure, but he thought she’d left him at it a little longer too. To be fair, he was learning a lot from her.
During lunch he was looking forward to the less painful afternoon in Katy’s presence. He still wasn’t sure what to do about that faith and belief idea. He and Katy walked out to the lake and took a seat by the shore. He looked around for a moment, and then focused on her when she spoke with intensity.
“There isn’t much I can do to train you until you touch your magic. I don’t know what I could say to make you believe in yourself and your magic, but know that I believe you can do it. You are the one who can help us with our task, no one else. Go ahead and give it a try.”
He stared at her a moment longer, he had so many questions he wanted answered, but knew she wouldn’t answer them. He also wondered what would happen if he tried to kiss her. He’d been around enough women to know when interest was returned, but something held him back, and it wasn’t just the thought of Erin’s sword between his ribs.
He closed his eyes and slipped into a meditation trance quickly, emptying his mind of everything around him, excising the presence of Katy last. He could see the same glowing white center of his magic. He was looking at it, how could he not believe it? But when he beckoned magic from his core, it didn’t happen. He even tried to fake himself out by pretending it was a game, make it real in that sense. He’d expected that to work, the magic to flow, but it didn’t.
He felt like he was letting Katy down, which was ridiculous, why should that matter to him? Did he think she wasn’t real either, or Erin? He clearly wasn’t on Earth anymore, did he think he was hallucinating, or did he think all the rest was real but couldn’t accept he had magic now?
No wonder it wasn’t working, it was more than simple doubt, it was confused disbelief. He ignored the magic, and simply meditated, trying to feel his center. Then he examined his emotions one by one, trying to make sense of it, remove its power over him, and remove his doubt. He was no stranger to meditation, and working through doubts. He may have been a thief, but he was always more than that as well, it was why he’d never been caught or had needed to hurt anyone to escape.
Up until that last job at least, and his escape there had been rather unique, one in a million. Perhaps it was the lack of control in his own life right now that made it worse, as he depended on the puzzle of a woman sitting across from him, and her very intense companion and guard, to build a new life in this world.
He focused on that for a while, the idea that he needed to build a new life here, and he would. He’d learn what he needed to know from them, help them retrieve what was taken, and move on. It was just another job. That seemed to help balance him, the rest of it didn’t matter. How he got here, or how magic is possible, Katy’s secrets, none of it matters. He was here, magic was real, and he had a job to do.
He wasn’t going to get that done, and create a new life by watching the grass grow.
He turned his attention back to the source of his magic and beckoned to it. It was like taking a breath, the magic filling his body and waiting to be used, like oxygen in his lungs. He felt… strange, almost like holding his breath, but it also felt good and his body felt refreshed. But now what did he do with it?
Katy said softly as not to startle him, “Good, now send it back. Don’t try and do anything with it, or create anything, just send it back to the source.”
He wasn’t sure how to send it back, pushing it seemed wrong. He likened taking it in as simply breathing in, so he mentally released that breath while focusing on his core of magic, the magic left the rest of his body and he suddenly felt bereft, and a little worn out.
He opened his eyes, and her wide smile prompted one on his own, “What now?”
Katy smiled, “One of the first things we are taught is to make a light. Illusion can do so just as easily as summoning, and it’s safer besides. I want you to have a good grounding in the basics of illusion before we try shadow magic.”
He asked curiously, “Is shadow magic dangerou
s?”
She got a serious look on her face, “All magic is dangerous, but yes, shadow magic is different than the other spheres. All the other magic is about creating new things, modifying current things, or destroying something. Shadow magic is… using and manipulating shadows, so it has dangers that are unique to its own sphere.
“For instance, you could send your mind into a shadow, and then observe a room far away as long as there’s a shadow there. The danger in that is if you don’t understand exactly what you’re doing, you could get lost in the shadow realm and never get back to your body. That’s an extreme danger, but caution definitely applies, I urge you not to experiment too much by yourself and let me guide you until you understand exactly what you’re doing.”
He frowned not liking the sound of the danger, but the idea of spying from a distance appealed to him, “What’s dangerous about illusion?”
She sighed, “Nothing so dire as shadow, the dangers are more subtle and mostly for the people around you. Illusion magic is not something to be used in direct confrontation. Normally people with that sphere on our world use it for entertainment and performances, since illusions have no solidity. But they can be used for misdirection, even cause harm in that way to others. Perhaps you were right about what the gods had in mind taking you, misdirection would benefit a…”
She trailed off with a blush and he chuckled, “A thief?”
He shrugged, “It is the truth, I imagine thieves aren’t looked well upon here anymore than they were in my world?”
She shook her head slightly, “Not really, we have laws against it, some quite harsh. Why…”
He shrugged not sure why he was indulging her curiosity he answered, “At first to survive. I was lacking options at the time being a teenager on the street. Then it just… was what I was good at. I’m not an overly greedy person, I only took what I needed to live, and I never hurt anyone before. Something tells me that it’s going to be much harder on this mission for you to keep that a truth.”
She seemed to be struggling with it, but said, “I think stealing is wrong… but in this case, it may be the best way. Plus, it’s more of a retrieval of stolen property than the other way around, and the ones that guard it do not deserve to die. I would be happy if you could still honestly make that claim after our mission, but something tells me this world is a lot more… dangerous than yours was.”
She shook her head, “I can tell you more about the world later, let’s get back to your lesson. I want you to visualize a small ball of light a few feet away from us. Light is easy to understand, so there isn’t an issue there. Just make sure you visualize exactly how big and how bright it is. After that, send some magic into it and will it into being.”
He closed his eyes and beckoned the magic again, it took him two tries to get it this time, which was much better he thought. He imagined a ball of light the size of a light bulb, with about sixty lumens of soft white light. He smiled a little at that, had to go with what he knew. He opened his eyes and looked a few feet away, which almost broke his concentration.
After a moment, he willed the light into existence as he breathed the magic out into his visualization this time, and the light appeared for a second, then flickered and disappeared.
He shook his head, “What did I do wrong?”
She giggled, “Nothing wrong exactly, you just didn’t give it enough magic. Try absorbing more into your body first.”
He tried again, this time visualizing a large intake of magic, he felt really uncomfortable, his skin was tingling and felt tight. He visualized the light again, sent the magic and willed it to be. The light flickered a moment and then solidified, and he had a little ball of light floating a few feet away. He wiped sweat off his brow, he felt really tired actually.
“Should it be that hard?”
She studied the light for a moment and then smiled, “Very good. That should last a good fifteen minutes before it dies out, which is amazing for your first try. Yes, it should be that hard, right now anyway. In a few weeks it will be effortless. Your body isn’t used to magic at all, you’ve never used it. It would be like a child picking up a sword for the first time and expecting to swing it around all day.
“Your body will become more accustomed to it as time goes on and you’ll be able to draw more and more power at a time. Think of it like just another muscle. I think were done today, but I have an exercise I want you to do for now on until I say to stop or when you’re sleeping. I want you to practice absorbing magic from your core, and returning it to your core, as you do other things.
“In a fight with weapons, you won’t be able to close your eyes and meditate. You need to be able to draw and release magic at any time and under any conditions. For now that means when you eat, think, during your sword practice, in the bath… every moment of the day until it’s as easy as breathing.”
He nodded slowly, it made sense, but it wouldn’t be easy.
Chapter 4
The next month went by rather quickly but all the while there was a sense of building urgency, although he had no idea what it was about. Whatever the job was, or what he was going to be stealing, was obviously very important to both Katy and Erin.
By the end of that first week, he was able to draw in magic and release it with a simple thought, it was easy as taking a deep breath and releasing it. Although, the first few days had been difficult, especially in sword training when he kept losing his concentration, Erin let him know it with a painful slap of her practice sword.
Katy hadn’t taught him any shadow magic, and he understood why. The magic keeping him safe in the shadows was limited, like that light spell. If it ran out while he was in the shadow world, he wouldn’t be able to get back to his body, since he needed magic to do that. She’d also hinted there were other things he could do, like physically hide in a shadow, and even move to other nearby shadows taking his body with him. But those spells were even more dangerous and required more magic than he could comfortably wield yet.
So for now he stuck with illusions. He could do the light, make a copy of himself though he hadn’t gotten it to move correctly yet, and a number of other things that were easier.
Despite his intentions to the contrary, and his mistrust, things continued to grow between him and Katy. At times the sexual tension was almost palpable, and he found himself actually liking her as opposed to just wanting to bed her. Yet, things started to become stiff between them because he knew there was some reason they shouldn’t be together, and that it was tied up in the secrets they kept from him. It was frustrating to say the least.
Erin was a different story, she started to trust him a little more over the last month. Every day he managed to fight a little longer, a little better, and his sword movements began to show an economy of graceful movement which extended his stamina even further. It seemed her estimate of him went up in direct proportion to how much he improved in the sword. She was opening up, and he found out her comment about beating his pole had been a joke of sorts. She had a very earthy sense of humor that seemed to come out the longer their workouts extended.
It wasn’t hard for him to figure out the workouts were making her horny, and she wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes, especially lately when the hard suspicion on her face had melted into cautious friendship and trust. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do there, he was tempted by her obviously, but should he go for it or try to break down the wall with Katy?
But it’d been a month since he was with a woman, and he was surrounded constantly by these two beauties who were almost opposite in demeanor and abilities. To say he was getting frustrated was an underestimation, and he desired both of them now. He also knew going after both would be foolish and sure to end badly. Or at least, he thought it would, he really didn’t know how relationships worked here, but they were still human right? It should be similar to home he thought.
The next morning as they walked out into the forest to practice she smirked over at him.
“S
o how long will you beat your pole today?” her lips twitched.
He was about at a breaking point, so he just couldn’t resist the wise ass flirty answer.
He gave her a direct look and smiled charmingly, “I thought I’d get you to help me with that.”
Her eyes sparkled as she answered in a lusty tone, “If you beat me today, maybe I will. No magic.”
Well that was what he called incentive. He wasn’t too disappointed at the qualifier either, he hadn’t tried to use magic during their morning sparring in a week. He’d gotten her good once by creating the illusion of a blindfold in front of her eyes, it may not have been real, but it was real enough to block the light so she couldn’t see. He had other ideas but so far he just wasn’t good enough with magic to pull them off yet.
They circled each other slowly for a while and when neither attacked for a while she smiled and tilted her head.
“What’s wrong Dan? Performance anxiety?” she asked archly.
He laughed and glared at the same time, and the cheater exploded forward to take advantage of his dropped guard.
He growled and somehow defended, and even backed her up a bit before they broke and started to circle again.
“Cheater.”
She shook her head and said, “You need to be able to fight in any circumstances, taunting is rather common you know, and I could think of worse distractions. Concentration is vital, so don’t let me break it… Besides, if you aren’t cheating you aren’t trying hard enough, this is about death and life, winning and losing, not fairness.”
They came together again with a clash of swords. His wooden blade flashed effortlessly as he used the sword’s weight and balance to work with his body instead of fighting its weight like he had in the beginning, never overextending or hitting too hard. It was a subtle dance that went on for what felt like hours, but was probably only five minutes. He still felt fresh and limber as he absorbed and released magic in the same rhythm of his breath.