“I won first place, too,” he said. “And, after I got my shit together and realized I didn’t have a thing in the world, since I had no other family and my parents turned all their money over to the clinics they worked in, I joined the Navy. Made it through boot camp, earned my paycheck. Learned how to really defend myself and the people around me from the enemy, no matter what form that enemy took. And yeah, I started surfing again, but it was a hell of a long time before that happened.”
She put the camera down, turned it off and walked over to the bed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“And now you do. So just go, Rina.”
“I want to stay here with you.”
“No, you don’t. You already said so yourself, and that’s okay. It didn’t come as any big shock.” He paused. “Besides, I don’t want your pity.”
“That’s not why I’m still here,” she said, touched his shoulder lightly to try and force him to look at her, but he’d already retreated, turned his head and actually closed his eyes. And when the nurse asked her to leave, she said, “I want to stay with him. Please.”
“I don’t want anymore visitors,” he said firmly. “Tired. Just want to be alone.”
The nurse gave her a small smile. “I’m sorry, ma’am. But visiting hours are over.”
“I don’t want her back here,” Cash told the nurse. “Do you understand?” He couldn’t shift in the bed, but he closed his eyes and winced again.
Rina wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or telling the nurse, but either way, it was clear. She watched for a second as the nurse pushed medicine through Cash’s IV, and in minutes, his breathing became deep and easy. And then the nurse gave her a look that told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to leave, but there was pity mixed in with that look.
Cash’s words echoed in her ear. I don’t want your pity.
She collected her camera and her bag and she left Cash without another word.
The CO she knew as Hollywood had confiscated the tape of the accident immediately, had tried to send Rina home hours earlier, but she’d refused. If she’d listened, gone back to the hotel, she never would’ve pressed Cash the way she had.
Well into the night, in the dark and alone in her hotel room, she watched the tape of Cash in the hospital. Heard the pain behind his story—felt that and the risks he’d taken rip through her until her body ached.
She didn’t know it was going to be this hard. Cash was down, not out, but he could just as easily not have come up from those waves.
Maybe her mom was right. Safe and steady were good things. Practical things. There was a time for pushing limits and a time for being cautious, and Rina needed to find the right balance because Cash’s accident had toppled her in a way she’d never thought possible.
She wasn’t sure if things would ever feel right again.
19
SEVEN DAYS. They were some of the longest of Cash’s life, spent first in that hospital rack they called a bed and finally under his own covers as of last night. Alone. On sheets that smelled like Rina’s shampoo and her perfume.
He needed to do laundry more often.The bed-rest was a complete success. By the second day, his spleen had stopped bleeding. But both the doctor, and Cash’s CO, insisted he stay in the hospital, just to be sure.
Rina never did come back to see him.
“She needs time,” Jenny had told him when she’d come to visit. “She’s confused. So upset….”
“Makes two of us,” he’d said, because what else was he supposed to say? At least Jenny promised she wouldn’t tell Mac anything. Besides, he’d been the one to put the final nail in that coffin, since he hadn’t been honest sooner.
You knew she might have a problem handling your lifestyle. And, for the first time in his life, he wished his instincts hadn’t been right on the money.
All he knew was that next week he was back on the base for some light physical therapy. In a month, he’d be good as new and ready to go any time the team was needed.
Today, he just sat on the couch. He couldn’t stand sleeping anymore. So he flicked the remote from station to station, but nothing caught his interest. Until he saw the wave and the helo.
Until he recognized the surf board. Hooyah. And there was his brah, Mike, riding the waves in all his glory.
“Now that’s cool,” he said out loud. X-treme Sports, Part Three. Rina’s name was in the credits that opened the show, right after the words World Premiere.
Would’ve been better if it didn’t make him think of her, which in turn made him angry and sad. That he didn’t need right now.
He went to shut the TV off, planned on calling Justin to find something he wasn’t supposed to do, when the program caught his eye.
Ah, shit.
He leaned forward on his couch, not really believing what he was seeing. This was very, very bad. Rina had gotten a great shot of Bobo and a major drug dealer making an exchange. The same piece of film Justin was supposed to have confiscated.
Okay, no one would know that that’s what was happening, except for him. And the DEA. And Bobo.
And the happy voice over was saying something about people come from all over the world, and all walks of life, to visit this surf shop.
She must’ve had more backups of the footage than he and Justin had destroyed. She’d have had no idea why she wasn’t supposed to use this particular piece of film. Telling her would have meant breaking cover and possibly ruining the investigation.
As he all but ran out of the house and jumped into the car, he was frantically dialing Justin. When his friend picked up, he told Justin to put on the damned TV.
“How did this happen?”
“That’s what I wanted to ask you. I thought we got all the copies of that footage of Bobo.”
“We did. I found the original and the backup in her editing bag and destroyed them. I did it that night you stole Rina’s keys,” Justin insisted. “She had to have a hidden backup somewhere we never found. Shit.”
“Bobo knows that Rina shot the film. He had her phone number, and her company’s phone number. If he called and spoke to her boss, he’d have no reason not to give him her information, even where she’s staying.”
“I’m calling Karen now. She’s still in Hawaii, nothing has gone down yet, but thanks to this debut, it’ll have to happen now.”
Cash pushed a hand through his hair as he listened. The light was taking too long to change, and if there weren’t three cars in front of him in the other lane, he would’ve blown right through the intersection.
“I’m headed to Rina’s hotel. I’ll stay there until everything’s resolved. Just let me know if I need to move her.”
“Will do, man. Just hang tight, all right? Tell Rina not to panic,” Justin said. “Of course, that will be easier to do if you stop panicking yourself.”
“I am not panicking,” Cash yelled into the phone.
“Yeah—you’re the picture of grace under pressure,” Justin said, then clicked off before Cash had another chance to curse at him.
He did anyway—out loud, into the phone, until he felt moderately better. Then he shoved the phone into his pocket and he took the next turn with one hand on the wheel, ignoring the ache in his side.
And then he forced himself to tamp it down, to pull into the hotel’s parking lot slowly because burning rubber into a space was certain to draw attention to him. And he didn’t know if anyone was watching.
Rina was away from the street, so he disappeared around the back. No one seemed to be watching the room, which was a bonus. Now, he just had to get in there and explain to Rina.
Who wasn’t speaking to him. Who he’d kicked out of the hospital.
He knocked on the door once, and waited. Then he banged a little louder, still not wanting to have folks notice him. No answer. He banged again, louder and still, no Rina. He took a deep breath, fought panic and prepared to slam the door open by any means possible.
Rina swung the door open s
econds before he did, and he caught himself in time, though he nearly barreled into her in the process.
“Cash, what are you doing?” she asked, looked at him as if he was crazy. Her hair was pulled up in some kind of crazy knot held together with pencils, and she wore a long T-shirt and heavy socks and she looked beautiful.
“Did you even look to see who it was?” he demanded. “Do you always just open the damned door like that?”
“Why were you going to break the door down? I thought you knew how to pick any lock?” she asked, and okay, she had him there.
He grabbed her, held her tight to reassure himself she was really alive and breathing. And then he shoved her back inside the room and closed the door behind them.
“What’s going on?” she was asking, but he ignored her in favor of locking up the front door before striding across the room to pull the shades.
“Where are Stella, Zoot and Keith?” he asked.
“They left for home this morning. Stella needed to start on another job for Vic and I’m finishing up some loose ends here.”
“Has anyone strange tried to contact you today?”
“I’m not answering any more questions until you tell me what’s going on.”
What was going on was not going to make her happy. True confessions time again. This wasn’t easy.
“I watched your documentary,” he said. “The X-treme surfing one that premiered tonight.”
“You’re not in it at all. I made sure of that.”
“I know.” He took her by the shoulders, pulled her close and lowered his voice. “Tell me you didn’t shoot the footage of Bobo outside the shop.”
She stared at him, looking convinced that he was insane and yeah, he was more than halfway there. Especially when she nodded, like it wasn’t any big deal. “Well, yeah. I went into the shop asking around about you, I promised him that he’d be in the film in exchange for where I could find you.”
He let go of her shoulders, ran a hand through his hair and commanded himself to think. Think and breathe. That could get him through anything, although a grenade wouldn’t hurt, either.
Backup plans were never a bad idea.
“Okay. I need to see any extra footage you’ve got. Do you have that here?” he asked.
“I think I still have the memory stick,” she said. She went over to her bag and rifled through and pulled out a tiny zip drive.
“I never saw that one,” he muttered.
“Why would you have? It’s just something I stick in my pocket after I film so I never have to worry about losing any. Actually, it’s my second one. I back up everything a zillion times because you never know what could happen.”
“I should’ve checked your pockets. Too distracted,” he admitted, not sure who he was angrier at.
None of this was her fault. She was going about, getting the story the way she was supposed to.
“What do you mean, checked my pockets?” Her gaze held his, and part of him wanted to hug her, to ask if maybe she’d had enough time. To ask if she’d even missed him. Although the worry on her face told him that things were too far gone for that.
“Remember in Hawaii, when your keys went missing?” he asked, and she nodded, slowly. “Well, I took them.”
“Why would you steal my keys?”
“I can’t tell you the full story, and what I do tell you, you can never mention to anyone.”
She nodded her assent, and he told her as much as he could as fast as he could. Like he was ripping off a Band-Aid or something.
“I was working undercover. Part of a sting operation for a drug bust. Our friend Bobo was running a major operation, using his surf shop as a front and using young surfers who didn’t make enough money from endorsements to help move the drugs to our to the ships and avoid customs.” He paused. “Bobo’s never been caught because he’s good. And we were so close to having him in the palm of our hand. But your footage caught him making a deal with another major player in the game, and we couldn’t afford to have that footage leak out. If Bobo knew you had it…”
He didn’t have to go any further with that. Rina covered her hand with her mouth, and he continued. “We had to keep everyone involved in the mission out of your camera range. For everyone’s safety.”
“So you took me back to my room so you could steal my footage?”
“That was the original plan. Things got…complicated once I got there.”
“And the other footage—back at the editing studio?”
“Justin took that,” he said.
She just sat there, staring at him. Letting it all sink in. Meanwhile, he checked the windows and the peephole.
She didn’t explode. He thought she might. In fact, she was strangely quiet. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me about the Hawaii thing sooner. About all of this.”
“I couldn’t. I thought it was all over with, anyway. I thought we’d avoided any problems.”
“You used me,” she concluded, and he knew that quiet time was over. She stood and walked toward him, then pushed against his chest. “You used me. That’s the reason this whole thing started. Maybe it’s the only reason you kept things going—to keep an eye on me.”
He grabbed her wrists and held them. “That’s not the reason at all. That’s how it started, but that’s not why I made love to you that first night. None of what happened from that point on was part of the plan.”
“Why should I believe anything you say? You said yourself you weren’t going to call me again. If I hadn’t shown up on base—”
“I needed to stay away from you, Rina. Just in case. This mission isn’t wrapped up yet. And I thought you were leaving….” It was his turn to sit, especially when he heard the shake in his own voice. “You know I wasn’t using you when you came here.”
“I know you tossed me out of your hospital room. Out of your life.”
He ran his hands through his hair because he didn’t want to say the words out loud, remind her that she’d said he wasn’t worth the risk. His side still ached, and he knew he’d already overdone it today. Doc was going to kill him.
“You need to grab some clothes and whatever else you need in case I get a call that tells me to get you out of here,” he said. “We can figure everything else out later.”
She didn’t argue.
“Does Bobo have a way to reach you?” he asked, quietly.
“I sent him a copy of the tape a few days ago. My name and address are on the return receipt. I normally use the company’s letterhead, but since I was here and he’d personally helped me out…”
“Where’s your uncle?”
“He went out of town for the day. He’s unreachable, according to Jenny.”
Cash thought for a second. “I’d take you to Mac’s, but I don’t want to put Jenny in danger. Look, this should all be taken care of soon. Until then, we’ll just hole up here.”
He surveyed the tapes and cameras and papers strewn around the room. There were two laptops running, plus a desktop monitor and the TV was muted but running a tape of his team he recognized from that first day Rina had filmed.
“You need to be packed up if you want to take any of this with you. In case we have to leave fast.”
“Where would we go?”
“It shouldn’t develop into a problem. If the DEA can nip it in the bud, this will all be over soon. Really soon.” He was counting on it, praying for it, and praying was something he didn’t do very often. Not anymore.
“And if they don’t?”
“Let’s not worry about that now, all right?” he asked. And before she could ask any more questions, her cell phone began to ring.
“Who is it?” he asked.
“It’s Stella.”
He sighed, and then nodded. “Just don’t tell her anything about this. Not a word. Don’t even mention that I’m here.”
“I won’t,” she said. She took a deep breath and walked away from where Cash sat on the bed and hoped she could keep the e
motion out of her voice.
She said hello and knew instantly by the way Stella greeted her that something wasn’t right. “Stel, what’s wrong? You sound like you’ve been crying.”
“I hate to have to tell you this, Ri,” her friend said, and Rina knew instantly that they didn’t get the grant.
“Then don’t. Please don’t say it.”
“I’m so sorry. I found the letter waiting for me when I got home. The grant committee was very positive, said some great things. They said it was a really close call, but ultimately, there was someone just a little bit better.”
“Second place,” she said, not sure if getting that close made it worse or not.
“I thought for sure it was a shoe-in.”
“Yeah, me, too. Thanks, Stella. Look, I’ll call you later.” She folded up the phone. She so did not want to do this now, not in front of Cash. She wanted to be alone with her defeat. To curl up on the bed and possibly never get up. This last week without Cash had been horrible enough. Coupled with this she wasn’t sure if the universe was done kicking her down.
She’d kicked him when he was down. Hurt him, badly. She knew that now, but at the time, in the moment, her entire being had chosen flight.
She hadn’t meant to. But after seeing everything at the beach that day, him being dragged out of the water unconscious, her sitting desolate in the waiting area…they’d been some of the worst hours of her life. When she heard he was all right, that he was awake and she could go in to see him, she figured she’d be running to his bed to hug him. She’d never expected the utter and complete panic she’d felt when she’d seen him lying in bed, machines all around.
She hadn’t expected something that the other men looked on as a mere training accident to hit her like a ton of bricks. But it had. And she’d been horrible to him. She could’ve waited until he was out of the hospital before talking to him about how she felt, could’ve let herself get some sleep and some food. But no, she had to let her emotions hang all out, the way she always did.
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