Played

by Liz Fichera

  I hadn’t been able to study all weekend. I had two exams and a paper due, and all I could think about was what I’d told Riley about Fred Oday. Why had I opened my big mouth? Then I had to go and kiss her. Kiss her! What was I thinking? And now I had to run interference with stupid rumors….

  “Finally,” Peter said, as Mr. Oday’s van chugged down the road, dust kicking up behind its rear tires.

  We watched the van until it stopped. I lifted my backpack from the ground and threaded it over my shoulder. Then I tugged open the creaky side door.

  I squinted inside. Fred sat in the passenger seat next to her father. A Native radio station played through the tinny front speakers, reporting what we already knew: it would be hot and sunny today on the Rez. The Navajos and Hopis were still fighting about water rights. Someone wanted to build a freeway along the Gila River Indian Reservation. There would be a potluck at the community center this weekend. Blah blah blah.

  Fred leaned over, her shiny black hair curling around a bare shoulder.

  My stomach dropped somewhere around my feet. Whenever I was within spitting distance of Fred, it was like being in an elevator that dropped too fast. All I could do was hang on and hope the sinking feeling would pass quickly.

  “Oh, god, Sam,” she said. “I heard about what happened. We all did.” She nodded toward her dad. Her clear eyes widened with more concern than I deserved.

  My chest caved in another notch as I stared at her perfectly soft lips. The sun shone through the window, bathing her bare shoulders in a golden light.

  When I didn’t answer, she said, “Sam? Are you all right?”

  My throat dried up, and I stared mutely back at her.

  She didn’t want to know.

  21

  Riley

  After Ryan parked the Jeep, we got out and waited on the front curb, although not close enough to talk. He leaned back on his elbows, ankles crossed, as I pretended to read the first book that I could pull from my messenger bag, despite my best efforts to pretend that the hot throbbing all along my leg didn’t exist. I should have worn that dumb brace, despite its hideousness. One thing was certain: Ryan and I were both watching for the arrival of the Oday van.

  It was impossible to ignore the stares of people who passed around us, mostly on foot, some pulling alongside us in their cars. “Is that her?” a senior girl whispered. A couple snapped my picture with their cell phones. It was strange. For the first time in my high school career, I was noticeable, all thanks to an ungraceful tumble down the Mogollon Rim.

  Normally the Monday–morning buzz was about who’d thrown the best party that weekend, who’d gotten arrested and, sometimes, who had lost their virginity.

  I wasn’t naive about popularity, though. I’d seen how a person could rise to the higher echelons like a comet—like Darcy Sherman, a freshman who looked like a senior, following her epic, everyone-was-invited after-hours homecoming party—only to be a footnote by the next weekend. Darcy had been invited to sit at one of the senior lunch tables in the cafeteria, but I’d noticed that she was back with her freshman friends by the time October rolled around. You had to give her points for trying. I wasn’t anywhere near that courageous. My brother had gotten most of the brave genes in the family. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about it.

  I’d learned that Sam and I had been on the news about fifteen minutes after Mr. Romero had officially reported us missing, kind of like a televised version of one of those milk-carton things. Fortunately it was my sophomore class picture that had been flashed across all the local television stations. I would have been mortified if they’d used my freshman picture, the one where I still wore braces and was going through an unfortunate stage where I’d always had a too-tight ponytail.

  If the attention and whispering from the other students bothered Ryan, he didn’t say, although I had told him to stop talking to me in the Jeep.

  Finally the van sputtered into the parking lot and pulled alongside the curb. As soon as the van stopped, three guys burst out, including Sam. I recognized the other two boys from the reservation. Like Sam, they were quiet and always kept to themselves. The short one—Martin, I think his name was—was pretty funny. I’d had him in a foods class freshman year, and he used to balance olives on his nose when the teacher wasn’t looking. I didn’t know the other guy very well. In fact, I didn’t know his name and, suddenly, that made me a little bit sad. Why didn’t I know Sam’s friends? If they were as nice as Sam, I would want to get to know them. What was preventing me from walking right up to them and introducing myself? After Saturday, Sam and I were at least friends now. He’d even kissed me—although, when I’d thought more about it, I’d realized it was just a caught-up-in-the-moment kind of kiss that didn’t mean anything. Over and done with. Right? He was totally in love with Fred Oday, that much was obvious.

  Ryan sprinted to the passenger door and smiled at Fred through the window, saying something to Mr. Oday at the same time. But his eyes stayed locked on Fred. Always on Fred. It was as if the rest of the world didn’t exist whenever they were together. I sighed. I certainly had my work cut out for me, but I was up for the challenge. It was the very least I could do, and I wanted to do it. I had to.

  I stood up from the curb.

  Sam didn’t notice me as he bolted around the van and into the stream of students making their way from buses and cars to the front door. Hold on. Was he avoiding me now?

  “Sam!” I called, limping in his direction, a good ten paces behind him. It felt like the scavenger hunt all over again, but this time my ankle ached when I walked too fast. “Wait up.” He might have been wearing the same jeans and T-shirt from the weekend, something we’d have to work on….

  Sam turned. He had a look on his face like he wanted to rip someone’s head off. When he saw me, fortunately, his expression softened a fraction. He morphed into the sweet Sam that I’d gotten to know beneath that pine tree.

  “We need to talk,” I said.

  He nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Didn’t expect you back at school so soon. How’s your leg?”

  “Better.” I patted my right hip, even though it was an effort not to wince.

  “Not much time before homeroom. Can it wait?”

  “Nope,” I said. “Cafeteria?” I limped toward him.

  Students swarming around us stopped to stare, mostly upperclassmen that I didn’t know. I pretended to ignore the obvious eavesdropping.

  “Yeah,” Sam said. He reached out as if he wanted to take my messenger bag, but then pulled his hand back.

  “S’okay,” I said, adjusting the strap across my chest. “I got it.”

  “I should study,” he said.

  “So should I,” I said. “But this won’t take long.”

  We moved toward the cafeteria, Sam walking silently beside me, matching me step for step. Whenever we approached groups of twos and threes, the conversations stopped and the gaping started. I wasn’t sure Sam even noticed.

  I spotted a rare empty corner away from the cafeteria food line and the vending machines. People continued to stare as we walked to an empty table. As we passed, I could hear their whispers, but I couldn’t make out much of what they said. I did hear someone say, “So that’s Riley Berenger?” Again. Sam kept up his usual stoic, I-don’t-care-what-anyone-thinks expression, and I did my best to feign disinterest. It wasn’t so hard. For some reason, nothing seemed difficult beside Sam.

  Sam sat down and I sat across from him. We plopped our bags beside us. It was a relief to be off my feet.

  Leaning forward, I got straight to the point. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

  “So have I,” Sam said.

  “You have?”

  Sam nodded.

  “Good. ’Cause I totally think we can do this.” I placed my hand over his.

  “Wait. Do what?” Sam said, looking down at our hands.

  My ribs pressed against the table’s edge. “You know.”

  “No, I don�
��t know what you’re saying,” he said, but I knew right away he was lying. I realized that when Sam lied, his eyelids narrowed and for the briefest of moments his irises flickered. I noted that for future reference.

  “I said that I would help you with—” my voice lowered another notch “—you know who and I meant it.”

  “I don’t need your—”

  I sat back and raised both palms. “Yes, you do, and you shall have it.”

  “What if I don’t want it?”

  I leaned closer to him again. My whisper changed to a hiss. “After what you told me Saturday night, I should think you’d be begging me. What have you got to lose?”

  Now Sam leaned back, swallowed and then stared at me with a hard gaze. I could tell he was at least considering my proposition.

  “Look, I said I could help you have your chance. But winning Fred’s heart will be completely up to you.”

  “This is crazy, Berenger.” Sam’s head nodded yes even though he was all about no. “I mean, she’s your brother’s girlfriend. Remember?”

  “I know. And I’ve thought about that. Ryan could do with a little competition.”

  “So this is another game?”

  “Not at all.”

  “And you don’t think I have a chance.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Now you’re the one who’s being silly.” I paused. “Look, Sam, you’re a great guy. Why don’t you see that? We’ve just got to make Fred see it, too.”

  Sam opened his mouth and then closed it. I wanted to hold his hand again, to reassure him, but I didn’t.

  Instead I said, “Love is fickle.” Then I groaned inside. Suddenly I sounded like an anti-Hallmark card. Not exactly what I was striving for.

  The first warning bell for homeroom rang. Saved by the bell. I reached for my bag. “We’ll have to meet after school. I’ll come to your house—”

  Sam nearly leaped out of his chair. “Um. Say what?”

  “You heard me. First things first. We’ll start with the basics.” Another pause. “I need to take a serious look at your closet.”

  Sam laugh-coughed. “No way.”

  “Way.” I paused. “You’ve got to trust me, Sam. I trusted you Saturday night. Now it’s your turn to trust me.”

  Sam started to take rapid breaths, the closest to hyperventilation that I’d ever seen him. In a softer voice, he said, “Why are you doing this, Riley?”

  I leaned forward and looked from side to side, making certain that no one’s prying ears were too close for comfort. “Sam, you’re the first boy I’ve slept with—well, not slept slept, but you know what I mean. I told you one of my darkest secrets and you’re the first boy to see me in my underwear. I figure the least we can be is friends.” I reached for his forearm. Our noses were inches apart. “Besides, I believe in you.”

  I didn’t dare mention the kiss. It would sound so desperate. And, let’s face it, for a junior like Sam Tracy, the kiss was probably ancient history. Did guys dwell about kisses like girls did?

  And then Sam did it again. He looked at me with his bottomless brown eyes and it was as if his eyes were trying to tell me something that words couldn’t.

  “Riley!” Drew screeched my name from across the cafeteria, breaking the stare-down between Sam and me. Everyone in the whole room stopped what they were doing. We had no choice but to swivel in our seats and watch her run toward our table.

  “Drew. That’s my best friend, Drew,” I said to Sam as he started to stand and gather his backpack.

  “Are you okay?” Drew said when she reached our table, breathless. “Why didn’t you answer your texts last night? I’ve been looking for you all over the place. You weren’t by our lockers. Ohmigod, I’ve been worried sick about you. Are you okay? Are you sure you’re okay?” She talked a million miles a minute, her eyes sweeping over me before sweeping between Sam and me.

  “I’m fine. No worries. I’m back at school, aren’t I?” I tried to laugh off her concern. “Drew? This is Sam. Sam, this is Drew.” I really wished she hadn’t made such a spectacle and sent Sam running. I wouldn’t have minded a few more minutes with him, alone.

  “Hey.” Sam head nodded toward Drew and hoisted his backpack over his shoulder, clearly eager to leave me to Drew and her inquisition. “See you later?” Sam said to me, surprising me. I was thrilled to know that he was on board with a later. There would need to be lots of laters.

  “Of course.” I smiled up at him and he walked away.

  Drew tossed her messenger bag on the table and plopped into Sam’s seat. “Ohmigod, he is too adorable,” she whispered to me, leaning forward. “Tell me everything.”

  “It’ll have to wait till lunch. The bell’s gonna ring.”

  “Are you and Sam, you know, dating now?” She tossed her shiny brown hair behind her back.

  I scoffed at this. “Sam and me? No way.” Besides, I saw the love-struck way he looked when he talked about Fred— Well, technically, I couldn’t really see him in the dark on Saturday night but I’d heard the tug for her in his voice.

  “Well, he totally looked into you from what I just saw, chica.”

  “You saw the back of his head, Drew. That’s all.”

  “That’s not all I saw. You guys were all over the news this weekend. You looked kinda cute together, too, especially when the news played that clip of you going into the hospital. Sam had his arm around your shoulder like he didn’t want to let go.”

  “We were just exhausted.” But I smiled at this in spite of what Drew said. Sam had been so protective and helpful, at least until we saw our parents. It was also fun to think that Drew saw me with anybody, that she saw me as the center of anything. Usually we were always dissecting her latest crush, her issues. “Besides, I have my work cut out for me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I hesitated. I had to choose my words carefully. I leaned forward another inch and locked onto her eyes. “Can you keep a secret?”

  “Always,” she whispered.

  “Promise? You have to promise, Drew.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “I swear. I absolutely swear.” She grabbed the ends of the table with both hands and stopped breathing.

  I hesitated another moment. Then I said, “I’m gonna fix Sam up with Fred Oday.” Technically this wasn’t part of my promise to Sam. It was okay to share this minor tidbit, right? I wasn’t outing his love for Fred.

  Drew’s eyes looked like they could pop out of her head and bounce onto the table like a pair of gummy bears. “Wait. Your brother’s girlfriend? Are you crazy? Why would you do that?”

  This was a tougher question. I whispered, “I think Sam and Fred would be perfect together.”

  “But your brother is totally into Fred.” She paused. “Isn’t he?” Drew blinked back at me with hopeful eyes, like she hoped I’d say otherwise. I knew for a fact that she’d been crushing on Ryan ever since the day he picked us up from dance practice our freshman year. Drew, along with half the girls at Lone Butte, crushed on my brother. It was sickening, really.

  “He is. For now. But you know Ryan. He pretty much has a new girlfriend every time the season changes. Besides, I can’t imagine someone as smart as Fred sticking with my brother forever. She’s probably growing tired of him already. It’d almost be like I was doing them a favor.”

  Drew grinned. “You are so bad, Riley.”

  “Just being a realist.”

  Drew leaned back in her chair, musing. “Sam and Fred, huh? It’s got possibilities….”

  Good. I was glad she saw what I saw, but I think what Drew really pictured was herself with my brother by the way her eyes turned all swoony and faraway. I hated to tell her that snagging Ryan was probably a lost cause, but I just couldn’t. I could only focus on one project at a time.

  “By the way,” she said, doing a headshake, “Jay Hawkins was asking about you this morning.”

  “Jay? Me? When?” The words whooshed out of my mouth.

  Drew’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah, Jay.
In the parking lot. Before school. He parked right next to me.”

  “Jay knows we’re friends?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Well, what’d you tell him?”

  “That I was trying to find you, too. He said he’d look for you in homeroom. He asked me how you were doing. He seemed pretty worried about you.”

  I stood so fast that my chair crashed backward. “Ohmigod, I’m so glad I didn’t stay home today. We better go.” I reached for my messenger bag.

  But the final homeroom bell rang and we were late.

  22

  Sam

  Riley had asked me to wait for her in the parking lot after school. Unless she had her own car, which was doubtful because I’d only ever seen her riding with her brother, our options for getting back to the Rez were limited. That was my ace in the hole. Once she learned that we would need to walk, she’d gladly postpone any crazy ideas about coming all the way out into the middle of the desert to my house. I wasn’t going to ask her to hitchhike, either, something I did on occasion.

  Go to my house?

  Other than Martin, Peter and Vernon, no one came to my house. Ever.

  I smiled inside, relieved. With any luck, I’d be able to nip this in the bud pretty quickly.

  Then I saw Riley. She walked out the front door by the courtyard, limping, her bag slung across her chest. Students streamed out through the doors alongside her. Everyone walked faster than she did. The top of her blond head bobbed just above the surface of backpacks in every color you could think of. The crowd parted as the sidewalks opened to the parking lot.

  When she spotted me, a smile spread across her face and my body froze. This couldn’t be good. She looked way too perky for someone with a sore leg who’d just survived an entire day at Lone Butte High School. I was exhausted. Why wasn’t she?

  “Ready?” she said when she got within a yard.

  “Um. Yeah?” I said.

  “We’re still good to go to your house, right?”

  “Sure,” I said, unfazed, expecting a short conversation.

  “Good.” Her lips smacked. “’Cause my brother is giving us a ride.”

  “What?” It was like a kick to the stomach.