by Fiona Keane
“I’m having an anxiety attack over here.” Julian’s tone was almost as quiet as mine, suggesting this phone call was breaking the social rules of wherever he was. “I had an alert on my phone that something happened to the heating system. Perhaps someone attempted to burn down my home while I was gone?”
“Sorry.”
“Are you apologizing for trying to destroy my home or for something else, Aideen?”
“I got really hot. I wasn’t trying to break it. I was just…I thought…” My mouth went numb, unable to articulate my thoughts and unsure of whether or not I could even talk with him, allowing him to know and manipulate my weakest of thoughts.
“You what?” he questioned, his tone softly demanding. “What’s wrong?”
“Never mind. I’m sorry to have taken you from whatever you’re doing.” My thumb hovered over the red icon, prepared to end this call, when Julian spoke from the receiver, his tone gentle. Gentle.
“What happened between coffee and now, Aideen? Don’t. I’m coming home right now.”
***
The bedroom door opened with a small creak, a hushed sound I barely deciphered between incoherent thoughts while my brain swelled with heat beneath the cocoon of covers. The sound tickled my heartbeat, but I couldn’t move. I wasn’t as frightened as I had anticipated once Julian ended our phone call. I knew it was him before I felt the mattress shift beneath his weight. The covers were slowly pulled from my face, his index finger holding a layer inches from me while his head tilted sideways in analysis of my current condition.
“Did you at least try the stove first?” His deep blue eyes flickered between mine while a small smile battled his lips. My gaze wandered to those lips, watching the way his tongue slowly licked between them before they sealed together. I shook my head, my lashes wiggling as hair fell over my face. Julian tugged at the blanket, exposing more of my clammy face to his view. I watched with worry as his brows met in mirrored concern, probably regretting the fact he harbored such a nut. Maybe he will let me go. But…I don’t…do I even…what the hell is wrong with me?
“I know that expression,” he whispered with a heavy exhale, eyes scouring my face. “What took you back there?”
“What are you talking about?” Damn wizard. My gaze fell, again mesmerized by the intricate trinity knot around his neck and the way it was just slightly exposed through the open button of his wool coat. He hadn’t even taken it off before coming in. He was either in a hurry to get out or in a hurry to get me.
“You’re hiding under the covers, your already -porcelain skin is whiter than the snow, and you’re sweating while your skin,” the knuckles of his right hand grazed my moistened cheek, “is frigid. What happened, babby? Did you think about the weekend? What took you back there?” I tried to process his words, his attempt at consolation or curiosity. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, why he wanted to know. Julian’s behavior all morning was suspiciously gentle, frighteningly…different. What can I tell him? I don’t want to kill him right now. The longer I let my gaze flicker between his focused stare, I found myself needing Julian. I’m clearly reaching for anyone, anything. Against my better judgment, my mouth opened.
“I hadn’t let myself think of it.” My voice sounded so weak to my ears. “It just came out of nowhere. I have a hard time remembering things sometimes, but this just…it attacked me. The memory. It just…” I felt like a fumbling fool, unable to develop a sentence while Julian’s eyes burned into mine with desperation. Something in him was intrigued by my words, or perhaps he felt obligated to listen. Either way, his gaze refused to falter, maintaining its burning spell while he watched me.
“Do you know why it’s hard for you to remember things, babby?”
“No.” Do you? What type of arrogant question is that? Julian softly pushed the covers further away from my face.
“I am sure you don’t want to discuss it with me.” He paused, his lips opening with a slow intake of breath. “But you need to know what I did there, what happened to protect you, was the only option I would ever have pursued.”
“I don’t want to discuss it with you,” I muttered, tugging back at the edge of the blanket beneath my face for protection. “I want you to tell me why it happened, who it was, why you had me watched, and…”
“What?” Julian’s vibrant eyes flickered back and forth, consuming every particle of my soul through his vision alone, while I lost my words. My body warmed, the chill and paralysis of my nerves subsiding. The strange peace, the dangerous comfort returned to my blood while my mind examined the specimen next to me.
“Why am I so…why does this…”
“Yes, Aideen…” Julian prompted, his head nodding with slow eagerness as though he was somehow reading my mind and already concluded my thought. Yet he waited patiently. This man doesn’t wait, he doesn’t do anything patiently, and he certainly doesn’t want to consume your soul. He is dangerous. He won’t tell me a damn thing. Right now, he is suspiciously…kind.
“Why am I not running from you right now? Why am I refusing to leave?”
“Because you’re safe. I’ve told you that. When I can tell you more, I will. It isn’t a fairytale right now. It isn’t…Aideen, you’ll know when you know too, just as I will know when you know.”
“This is more than a visit to Stockholm,” I mumbled, feeling my face fold with unease and concern as the thought flirted with my mind. “Someone tried to kill me, you saved me, and…I’m sorry I didn’t thank you. I should have, but I need to understand.”
“We hadn’t really talked about it either…the way we left things.”
I looked up at him, my mouth tumbling open before thinking. “You were a huge dick.”
“And you were quite drunk.”
“Get out of here.” I pulled the cover over my face again, groaning with displeasure while almost suffocating. “Please.” He was silent for a moment, hopefully letting me die in peace before I felt his weight lift from the mattress. His footsteps were but a quiet tap against the hardwood as he spoke from the doorway. I peered out of the covers, catching his calm stare.
“No theater tonight.” He shook his head. “I don’t want you feeling pressured after whatever just happened to you.”
“Is there a free dinner involved?”
Julian’s lips parted, his threateningly gorgeous grin forming. “Yes.”
I hid my face again, letting the image of his smile consume my thoughts. The sound of the doorknob turning was an alarm, forcing the covers from my body. I sat up, my body erect and determined. The door opened as Julian heard the shuffling of my covers. He returned to the bedroom with surprise plastered across his face.
“Why did you come back for me just now?” I crossed my arms, protecting my nerves and heart as he approached. His footsteps were confident while he glided toward me from the doorway.
“You’re hurting,” he confessed. “I want to help you with that. I want to save you from hurt. I have a soul somewhere in this body. It might be damaged, jagged, and near its end, but it’s in there.” My fingers twitched with a nervous tremble as he stepped closer, inches from me. I glanced up, following his stare while he again tugged on my mess of hair.
“I’m sorry you keep saving me.” That’s what I had to say? That’s my thanks? That’s all that can come out of my mouth right now? I don’t even know what my heart is feeling, what my mind can process. I just don’t know. I can’t. I almost fell back to the mattress once Julian leaned toward me, his cologne infiltrating my bloodstream with a single breath.
“You should know,” he whispered as his mouth hovered above my left ear, “I will kill every motherfucker who threatens you.” Okay then. Heart: Stopped. I didn’t know what that was. Flirting? Possession? Conspiracy? A threat? It didn’t matter.
Julian left as quickly as he arrived, leaving me alone again in his home. My bottom fell to the mattress while my heart and mind battled in the pit of my stomach. The devil’s cellphone buzzed from the small table
next to the bed, pulling my attention from the lingering smell of Julian’s cologne that remained in a cloud of serenity around me. I grabbed the phone from the table and swiped the screen.
Julian: Every single one.
The thought of Julian continuing to make threats hadn’t grown old. I hadn’t developed a passive comfort to it, but the fact he declared his threats toward someone else was a peculiarly bizarre…honor? You idiot. I wouldn’t draft a response. I couldn’t. I clicked off his message and jumped when I noticed it was already nearing noon. I jumped like a teenager. It was almost time for lunch. With Liam.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I recognized the butterflies, keen to the feeling as it had been a constant swirl beneath my ribs since Julian and I kissed, but that time they weren’t because his lips melted mine. It wasn’t because Julian’s eyes were so hauntingly burned into my thoughts or the way my jaw memorized the touch of his knuckles against my skin. It wasn’t even that such a touch, the contact, the fact I tried to pretend it was simply Stockholm, or the fact the monstrous burden of loneliness began to lift. It wasn’t Julian. The violent wings fluttering beneath my ribs, pestering the clenched walls of my belly, were because I just entered an elaborately detailed, prohibitively expensive restaurant on the corner of Beacon and Bowdoin Streets.
“Ma’am.” David gained my attention, nodding toward our intended direction. “Mr. Molloy is waiting for you.”
I burned with embarrassment, unaware of how long I kept their favorite driver waiting in the lobby of luxury. I don’t hate David. He’s nice enough. He doesn’t look like he has a stick up his butt half the time or that he wants to kill me the other half of the time like my good ol’ chum, Ferrell.
“Yes. Thank you.” I nodded to him, following his extended arm ahead of us and beginning the pleasantly tense journey down a small hall. Our path led into the back of the restaurant, nearly hidden from other customers, but in sight of an entire wall of windows. Entering the space, I was quick to spot Liam. He hadn’t yet seen David escort me into the space and was staring out the window, squinting through the blindingly white glare of midday light reflected from the snow. His elbows pressed into the table, fists holding his chin.
“Sir,” David announced, leaving once Liam turned to us, delivering his nod of approval. My feet anxiously floated toward him, part of my heel resistant toward the casual manner with which I approached him. He is still a Molloy. You don’t know him. But…I could get to know him.
“Aideen.” Liam took both of my hands into his soft hold, lifting my knuckles toward his pursed mouth in greeting. “It’s wonderful to see you again so soon.”
“I’m glad you’re dressed.” I smiled, tugging away my hands so they were back in my possession. With a grin that mirrored his older brother, Liam pulled out my chair and motioned for me to sit.
“Eh.” He laughed while nestling into his own seat after tucking mine beneath the table. “I find it all overrated, clothes, shoes, underwear. The whole lot.”
“You’re quite brazen,” I noted, already feeling my cheeks tingle at the smile warring with my soul. How could the same smile from his brother fill my mind with desirable confusion, intoxicating torment? Liam reached for his cup of coffee, the liquid already depleted before my arrival, and sipped. His eyes sparkled over the lip of the mug, delaying his reply.
“How are you finding your current accommodations?” I was distracted by the approaching server, who avoided my eyes while she filled my cup with steaming coffee and refilled the cup Liam extended toward her. I studied her, somewhat mesmerized by the way her small hands rattled as she took the porcelain from Liam. My eyes traveled beyond the mug to the small space of Liam’s wrist exposed by the cuff of his crisp white dress shirt, blinded by his reflective silver watch. When the mug returned to the table, Liam shook his wrist to straighten the face of his watch, noting the time before glancing back at me.
“That’s quite the piece of machinery,” I observed, slightly disgusted by his family and their disposable income.
“It was a gift from my brother,” Liam stated, his blue eyes wandering to mine, “when I graduated law school.”
“Your brother.” I nodded, biting my top lip while thoughts of Julian returning from wherever he had been simply to check on me ran through my head. Simply. As though I could be the only reason. He probably wanted to be sure I hadn’t escaped.
“Speaking of whom,” Liam probed, leaning forward with his elbows pressed against the table, “how long will it be until you break up with him?” Break up with him? How about never? Because I’m not even with him!
“Please don’t say that,” I whispered. “You know the truth.” Liam leaned even closer to me, a pleasant breath of air drifting toward me with a heady cloud of his aftershave.
“The truth.” Liam licked his lips in thought, his eyes blazing across the table. “And what is it that you know, my dear? You and your questions…what’s left for you to know?” His focused stare was lethal, his mouth calm while his eyes spoke volumes of the wicked humor behind them. I wish these idiots would cut the limericks. Maybe I should just…ask?
“Your tattoo…”
“Which one? I have six. You’ve seen two. Care to find out where the other four are, bird?” Liam continued to lean toward me, his posture dangerously playful as though his primal instinct was waiting for me to run just so his claws could sink into me.
“The cr-cross,” I stammered, my mind blurred with the delicious vision of the ink decorating Liam’s perfectly defined stomach. On my bed.
“You’re one determined little bird, aren’t you?” The smile fell from Liam’s eyes, shifting from blue to gray. “What if Julian doesn’t want you knowing certain things?”
“He can go screw himself. You can too. In fact, why don’t you two—” My phone buzzed from the bowels of my small clutch, receiving Liam’s conceited chuckle in reply.
“It’s him.” My eyes briefly glanced at Liam before sorting through the message from Julian. “You both have impeccable timing.”
Julian: I’ll be home to get you at six. I hope you’re better and that you felt at home today.
I couldn’t explain the fleeting pang of guilt that trickled through my stomach after reading Julian’s text message, sitting across from his brother at lunch, trying to pry information from him. Liam paused, waiting for my attention to return. When it did, I was blinded by the smirk across his face.
“What’d he say?”
“That I should probably have a good public relations response to why I’m out to eat with his younger brother.” I slapped my forehead, allowing the tingling pain to bring me back to reality. “What am I doing?”
“You’re out to eat with your boyfriend’s brother,” Liam said as though it were entirely true. “I’ll tell him I showed up to his house unannounced because I forgot something. It won’t be a problem.” But Julian isn’t my boyfriend!
“You showed up? Why would you lie to him?”
Liam’s head shook, his words careless as he drank from his mug of steaming coffee. “Because he’s crazy about you and I’d hate to piss off that bastard. You clearly don’t know what that monster is capable of.” Monster? Crazy about me? Swallow. Breathe. Repeat.
“Bird,” Liam said with a laugh, “I’m kidding. Clearly, we’re all a little monstrous. Julian will know what I let him know. You haven’t learned that about him yet. Your relationship is still so new, and yet you already behave like old friends. I imagine in another life you’d have quite the fairytale.” Old friends. There it was again, the coy vocabulary that, when spoken, made my heart tickle in a curiously perplexing manner.
“Your research led you to some conclusions,” Liam interrupted the daydream, my thoughts beginning to swirl with images of his brother. “I’m curious to hear them. Which shall I rebuke first? The one about us being religious?”
“Okay.”
Liam’s playful laughter filled the empty room, swirling around us in a cloud of ominous humo
r. “I’m not. Julian’s not. Maureen might be. I don’t know what she does in her personal time. Our family is, but…times change. Priorities shift. Symbols simply become just that, images to which we attach a memory. It’s just like that ring from Maureen. I am positive it’s stunning, but unless it represents something to you, the thing is junk.” He adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves, folding them over his forearms while he spoke, his tone and demeanor casual.
“I ordered for you.” He nodded behind me while a server approached with a tray in her hands. “I hope you don’t mind.” As long as it’s not a piece of lettuce, we’re fine, buddy. I watched the server place her tray at the edge of our table, lifting two white plates to be set before Liam and me. The contents of our meal was hidden by silver lids, reflecting the dim glow of lights around us, but the server was quick to remove them before scurrying off. The pace with which she scampered from Liam’s side was unnerving. I would have assumed he was the friendly Molloy, not one from whom I should literally trot away.
“I know you’re more of a burger and fries sort of bird.” Liam chuckled, his voice pulling me back to him. What?
“I’ve never told you that.”
“I just figured,” he replied, clearing his throat. “Dig in. No cheese, right?” My glance was speculative, hesitant to respond while Liam cut the filet on his plate. Steak for lunch seemed excessive. Who am I kidding anymore?
“Right,” I muttered, lifting the petite bottle of malt vinegar from the table. “I didn’t think a place like this would make burgers.” He shrugged, his mouth full of medium-well cow, but a smile formed around the lump in his cheek. Once he swallowed, quickly sipping from his cup of ice water, Liam dabbed the corners of his mouth.
“Which theory is next, bird? I’m eager to dispel more myths.” His eyebrows playfully lifted, light catching his blue eyes. He was hook, line, and sinker, successfully luring me into something. Into him. The shimmering glow radiating from his eyes, almost as powerful as Julian’s, tickled my aura, sending a shiver along the length of my spine. A good shiver. A happy shiver. An exciting…what do I do now? He’s staring at me. Still. Shit, this is ridiculous. Which one is next? Do I ask about Julian? Maureen? Elliott? Inhaling a breath that rattled in my lungs, I decided to end my life.