It seemed too far away to be making those kinds of plans, but in reality it was about two weeks to the holiday. Rachel blinked herself back to attention. “I have a few days, but I already told my mom and dad I’d join them in Calgary. My sister is flying in with the kids to spend Christmas Day.”
He nodded. One more adjustment and she was nestled against him, his arm wrapped around her as if he couldn’t get enough of touching her. His lips brushed her neck. “If it works, I’d love to have you come by for the Coleman Boxing Day party. Bonfire, sledding, food and more food. You know, a typical gathering.”
And a safe gathering. Everyone knew the four Coleman families still ranching in the area gathered on that day. Friends of the family were always invited, and on that day and their annual Canada Day picnic, the clan seemed to deal with the size of their collective gatherings by simply adding more people. Rachael had heard the event was fun.
It would be even more fun if she went with Lee. “I can do that. What time, and which family is hosting?”
“It’s at the Six Pack ranch this year. Starts sometime in the afternoon, as long as it’s not too cold or the wind chill too high.” He tilted her face toward his and kissed her as if he couldn’t get enough. “I’ll pick you up.”
She wasn’t sure if it was amazing to be the center of his attention or terrible. Gary had done that. Made her the center of all his attention for a short time, and then it had been gone.
Lee isn’t Gary.
No, he wasn’t. He was far more intense than her ex-husband, even at ten years younger.
She glanced around the room as someone else caught Lee’s attention, shouting noisily beside them. His twenty-four years didn’t seem that young until she spotted herself in the mirror behind the bar and considered she was thirty-three with one failed attempt at marriage.
Strange how emotionally torn she was. One minute she didn’t give a damn about the spread of years between them, and the next, it seemed huge.
Rachel shoved aside her concerns best she could. They were only dating. This was about fun and enjoying each other’s company. She certainly wasn’t looking for anyone to settle down with, and at twenty-four, a casual relationship was perfect for him too.
Still, the uneasy sensation in her gut didn’t go away, so she did the only thing she could.
She blamed it on the god-awful music.
**
Out on the small dance floor with Rachel in his arms, they’d finally reached what should be the highlight of his evening. Instead, something was off. Nothing he could put his finger on, but it was enough that he noticed.
They’d danced in the cabin, sort of, music provided by his cell phone before the battery had died, and they’d fit together well. But now, instead of melting against him, Rachel held herself so rigid he was worried she’d strain something. Her hands barely touched his shoulders, and he missed how she’d played with the hair at the back of his neck. The small noises she’d made as she’d danced, humming along with the tunes—tonight he got silence.
This was crazy. “What’s wrong?”
They were close enough she didn’t have to shout in response for him to hear, except her answer of “nothing” was no answer at all.
Everything was wrong. That’s what her tone of voice said.
Lee wrapped his fingers around her braid, tugging till her face turned upward. “Do you want to go somewhere to talk?”
She shook her head and gamely attempted a smile. “Don’t mind me. I’m just in a grumbly state of mind. I don’t know what’s wrong, and nothing’s wrong, and—we should drop this before I repeat myself another dozen times.”
Lee tucked her closer, cradling her head against him and moving slowly in time with the music. Hoping the contact would wash away whatever was hurting her.
It seemed to partly work, because when the song ended she took him by the hand and pulled him to the opposite side of the building. Around the corner and through the door to where, instead of music and the dance floor, there were tables to talk quietly. She found them seats, settling beside him with a sigh. “I’m being a party pooper—I’m sorry.”
He caught her fingers in his. “We’ve got no agenda. We can hang out here for a while. I don’t mind.”
What he did mind was feeling helpless to get her past whatever was bugging her.
Her expression brightened slightly as she looked around. “Not a lot of your family out. I expected to see more of them.”
“I did too,” Lee confessed. “Turns out they all ended up with plans for the night, between Christmas parties and school singalongs, and no, I didn’t want to go listen to an elementary-school concert.”
“What? You know you’re missing the fourth graders’ magnificent recorders rendition of ‘O Christmas Tree’,” she teased.
The thought made him shiver. “Thank God for that.”
She laughed before squeezing his fingers. “Thank you for trying to cheer me up.”
He nodded. “You don’t have to be sunshine all the time. If you want me to take you home, that’s fine. You’ve had a busy week.”
“Maybe soon.” She seemed finally ready to share when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.
He glanced up to see one of his father’s friends. “Hatch.”
The older man nodded politely toward him and Rachel before tilting his head to the side. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
Lee reluctantly rose and followed him, Rachel offering a commiserating wink before he lost sight of her.
Hatch paused by the wall and started in on something that didn’t need to be discussed here and now. Something about a hay order his father had promised. Still, he didn’t want to be rude and interrupt, but the longer it took Hatch to get to his point, the less patient Lee found himself.
It wasn’t as if he could solve the issue right then anyway. What did the man expect? That he’d drop everything to go dig a tractor out of the snow in the dark and start hauling bales?
“I’ll make sure my dad gives you a call first thing in the morning,” he offered.
“If he doesn’t move soon, I’ll find someone else to work with,” Hatch warned.
This was not the time or place to discuss ranch business. Right now, all he wanted was to return to Rachel’s side and get out of there.
Lee turned back and his stomach clenched.
She wasn’t alone anymore.
Chapter Seven
As Lee walked away, Rachel found herself shutting out the rest of her surroundings. Except, there was a spot on the wall. A small one—and after staring at it for a while she figured out it was a nail hole where a picture used to hang.
In the middle of all the noise and laughter around her, for some reason that blank section of wall seemed fascinating. Maybe because it looked as empty as she felt inside.
Damn if she could figure out what had brought on this morose mood, and she had to snap out of it, now. It wasn’t fair to Lee to drag him down like this.
As soon as he got back, she’d ask him to take her home. Maybe a hot bath and long sleep would knock the cobwebs from her brain.
The chair beside her pulled back, and she took a deep breath, forcing a smile to her lips as she turned to face—
It wasn’t Lee.
“I thought I might find you here,” Gary said, resting his elbows on the table. He looked her over as if he had the right to look her over. “Are you moonlighting? Not enough work at the café?”
Rachel was sure her mouth was opening and closing as if she were a hand puppet the ventriloquist had forgotten to give a voice.
He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be sitting next to her or talking to her. Heck, he wasn’t supposed to break her heart, or drive her crazy, or stir up all sorts of emotions she thought she’d gotten rid of.
Rachel made zero attempt at politeness. “Go away.”
She faced away from him, her gaze landing on the wall again, her gaze fixating on the teeny hole. The teeny flaw in the otherwise pristine pa
int job.
Gary chuckled, the sound more annoying than usual. “Well now, that’s not very friendly.”
Oh, no. That bullshit pushed her right out of her Zen-like numbness. She whirled on him. “I don’t usually try to be friendly with people who have proven themselves assholes.”
She rose to her feet and grabbed her purse, intending to track Lee down.
Gary caught her wrist in his hand. “Don’t run off. I need to talk to you. I’m serious, I came here to see you—”
“If you want to keep breathing without inhaling teeth, get your hand off her.” Lee’s deep voice was soft, but his anger clearly showed as he stepped beside her and glared daggers at Gary.
Maybe it was foolish, but having Lee there made a huge difference. She leaned against his chest, the warmth of his body and the power of his solid mass giving her an anchor.
Gary let her go the instant Lee spoke, but he too stood, glaring angrily, trying for some kind of face-saving move. “Don’t boss me around, boy.”
“Then I’ll do the bossing,” Rachel offered. “Don’t touch me again. Ever.”
“I was just—”
“Just nothing,” Rachel snapped. “You lost all right to just anything when you broke our vows. I don’t care what you want to ask me. Do it through my lawyer.”
She twisted her back on her ex-husband, glancing up into Lee’s face.
He responded with careful tenderness even while keeping an eye on the man standing beside them.
“You’re not welcome here,” Lee said pointedly.
“Don’t you dare try anything,” Gary barked even as he stepped back warily
“You’re not worth the energy.”
It made Rachel childishly happy to see Gary move well out of their way as Lee escorted her toward the door.
“Come on,” he told her as he helped her into her coat, and they headed into the parking lot. “I’ve had enough of Traders for the night.”
She was still mixed up. Still not sure what the sensation in her belly was telling her, but she completely agreed with one point. “He isn’t worth the energy. He’s really not. I was just surprised to see him. I’m not upset or anything. Not really.”
But she curled against Lee’s side and thought about it on the way home. Silence stretched between them while music—real music, thank God—beat through the truck cab. The entire trip she attempted to figure out what was bothering her so much.
Lee opened the driver’s door and slid out, pulling her after him.
“Was he there with someone?” she asked.
Lee gave her a strange look. “Not that I noticed.”
He followed her into the house as she tossed her purse on the side table. Kicking off her boots, she dropped her coat haphazardly on her way to the couch to collapse.
She stared at the ceiling and tried again to shed the sensation of impending doom. Damn her impulsive past, and damn Gary, and just…
Damn it all.
**
He wasn’t sure what was going on, but even confused he understood one thing. Rachel was in pain, and watching her hurt was killing him.
He dropped to his knees in front of where she sprawled on the couch, sliding his hands up her thighs. “You’re so tense.”
“That’s what happens when I get surprised, I guess.” She stared over his shoulder, shaking her head slightly. “It wasn’t supposed to bother me anymore. I’ve known since October we were over, and I’ve put it behind me, I’m moving forward,” she insisted.
“Gary.”
“He’s a jerk.”
“He’s an ass,” Lee agreed, “but he’s not here.”
She dropped her gaze to his, and his heart clenched. Her dark brown pupils were drowning in tears, liquid pooling along her lashes until it was too much to contain, and her grief spilled over to form a perfect drop that rolled down her cheek.
“I want it to be over.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “But it hurts in here, so much. Is it always going to be like that? Whenever he wants he just tugs at these strings he’s got looped around my heart, and I’ll have no choice but to break all over again?”
Lee lifted a hand to wipe away the tear, softening his touch as he leaned in to brush his words over the still-damp surface of her cheek. “No. It won’t keep happening. There are no strings on you.”
He slid his fingers around the back of her head, cradling her gently as he held her in place. “There’s no one here but you and me, and there’s nothing he can do to you ever again. Don’t give him any power,” Lee urged.
“It’s not that easy,” Rachel whispered, her words trembling as they slipped through her tight throat.
“I didn’t say it would be easy, I said it was important. And that it’s true—and if you need me to prove the strings don’t exist, I’m more than willing.”
She nodded, such a small move, as if she was afraid to fully commit to anything, and Lee wanted to go and beat the crap out of Gary again like he had last summer. Seeing his usually confident and strong woman so devastated made him livid.
But he realized as satisfying as beating Gary up would be, it wouldn’t solve their current problem, and it wouldn’t prove to this gorgeous woman how much she already meant to him. Even though it was only a short time since they’d been trapped in the storm, he wondered how he’d ever survived without her.
Her smiles gave him strength. Her laughter made him want to be a better man. And seeing her in pain made him want to tear apart the world and turn it upside down until he set things right.
Those were his goals. Not revenge, not justice, just the urgent desire to wipe away her tears and bring back more than a smile.
So he kissed her. Tender and sweet for the first two seconds before he let himself taste her fully. He listened to her breathing grow unsteady as she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung on tight. Moving closer as if soaking comfort from his touch.
Lee held her as he took a seat on the couch, settling with her in his lap. The entire time their mouths never parted. He didn’t need to breathe. He’d survive because their bodies were in contact, his lips touching hers. Like a life-support machine, she gave him everything as their tongues tangled and lips moved and the dance as old as time began.
Tonight? He wasn’t going to tell her no. Tonight was not about waiting, it was about letting her see how valuable she was. It was about making her forget her tears and replacing them with as much ecstasy as possible.
Lee nuzzled under her ear. “I want you,” he confessed.
She pulled back her hands until they rested on his shoulders, staring into his eyes as hints that her what the fuck attitude had returned. “Oh, so now we’re going to have sex?”
Lee brushed away the remnants of another tear. “Yes.”
“Your balls got purple enough you want to deal with them?”
He laughed, rearranging her across his lap so she was straddling his thighs. “Not about my balls, baby. This is all about you.”
Rachel hummed knowingly. “And you’re not going to enjoy it at all, is that what you’re saying?”
“We all have to make sacrifices in this life—” he started, teasing in his tone before he let it fall away. Let the hunger he felt inside show on his face as he tightened his grip on her shirt and tugged it free from her waistband. “And some things are no sacrifice at all. I want you, Rachel. I’ve wanted you for a long time, and this has nothing to do with my balls and everything to do with my brain. You are gorgeous, funny, and you don’t let me get away with any bullshit.”
As he spoke her expression changed. Anticipation rising as he offered his honest confession. “I want to have sex with you,” she admitted as well.
Lee nodded. “Condoms?”
Rachel didn’t hesitate. She’d told him she’d been tested after discovering Gary had cheated on her. Lee had gotten tested after their interlude at the cabin, slipping her his medical report casually, although she’d never said anything about it.
“Condoms, y
es. I know you’re clean, but…”
He shook his head. “This is your choice, your body, and you never have to explain.”
He scooped her up, holding her close as he walked them toward the back of the house. It was time to give her some new memories and shred away Gary’s strings from around her heart.
And Lee wanted memories of his own. Not just the physical pleasure he looked forward to, but everything else that went along with it. If he happened to step a little quicker down the hall at the thought, Rachel didn’t complain. They were too busy kissing each other for her to notice.
Chapter Eight
Rachel alternated between desire and amusement as Lee found her room without bouncing them off the walls too many times. When he lowered her to the bed, she wiggled free, closing the blinds before facing him again.
The view that greeted her was mouthwatering. He was in the process of pulling off his shirt, the material bunching around his upper arms as he reached over his head and stripped the fabric from his broad shoulders. His lips tugged upward in the most intriguing way—like the Mona Lisa smile for men. She’d hate to call it that cocky expression guys get when they’re about to get laid, but if the shoe fit…
The way he looked at her made her tingle.
His solid chest took on a warm glow as he turned on the lamp beside the bed, the curves of his biceps and shoulders like carved granite—only hot instead of cold against her fingers.
He was still smiling as he straightened, undoing the top button of his jeans and lowering the zipper partway as she closed the space between them. Her hands reached out instinctively, driven by urges more animalistic than deliberate. “I can’t wait to touch you.”
She floated her fingers from his ribs to his pectoral muscles. Lee laid his hand over hers, briefly pinning her in place. “Tonight is yours. You get it all—and I’m ready to explode just thinking about what we’re gonna do.”
Rachel hummed as she stroked his skin, teasing his nipple and watching his entire body tighten under her caress. “Are you telling me you have a control issue? Because that’s the last thing I’d expect you to confess.”
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