by Anne Jolin
I hate this. I hate that my mom feels the need to use me like this. I always feel sick to my stomach when her ‘friends’ come over. “I know Mom. Just look pretty and let him do what he wants.” She smiles at me before fixing the comforter on my bed.
“Maddie, you know I hate that I need your help. However, my friends take care of things for us as long as you’re a good girl.”
I look at myself in the mirror one more time and she comes up behind me. “Baby girl, don’t forget men are only after one thing from a woman. Give them what they want, but don’t let them trap you baby. A man will treat you a hell of a lot better if you aren’t his. You are beautiful and you will be able to get any man you want, but don’t let them try to get you into a relationship. You get what you want from them and they take what they want from you. Does that make sense to you?”
I look at her through the mirror. “Not really.”
She smiles at me in the mirror again. My mom is absolutely beautiful. She has long blond hair, bright blue eyes and is always dressed perfectly. Her looks are everything to her. My mom has never been the one to attend PTO meetings, class plays or even back to school night. She always had a date or something else going on. She has men coming and going all the time. She has a lot of girlfriends that spend the night in various bedrooms, with ‘friends’ as well. The only reason we live in this huge house, with expensive cars and enough clothes to dress my whole sophomore class at school, is because she sleeps around. I am almost certain she is some kind of high paid hooker.
That is what she is trying to turn me in to. She has ‘friends’ that like young girls. She was nice enough to keep them away from me until I turned 16, then she said I was old enough to be helping her. She took me to the doctor to be put on birth control and a month later, I had sex for the first time with a much older man. It was horrible. He was rough and it hurt like hell. I cried the entire time, which apparently was more of a turn on. I have begged my mom these last few months to not make me do it again, but she always says the same thing. “This is why we have the beautiful things we have. Men will give you anything if you give them your body.” I have just stopped trying to fight it. It makes it easier to just let it happen.
“Maddie, I can see your wheels turning. You do this every time. Just relax and let him do what he wants. You will enjoy this one day, baby girl. You will want men to do these things to you. The earlier you become familiar with what you like and they like, the more you will enjoy this when you’re older. Now did you put on the pretty light pink bra and panties I got you?”
“Yes.” She fixes my hair and pulls my dress down to show off more of my cleavage.
“That’s my girl.” Just then, the doorbell rings and I begin to shake.
After Ted has his way with me, I am laying in the bed while he gets dressed. “You were a very good girl, Maddie.” I don’t say anything and I don’t turn to look at him. I just want him to leave so I can shower. “Look at me baby girl.” I hate when they call me baby girl, it makes me sick. I don’t want to look at him, but mom always says to do what they ask. I roll over and make sure to keep the sheet tucked around myself. He is smiling at me while he buttons his shirt. He sits down on the bed and runs his hand down my face. “I will definitely be back baby girl. You are a beautiful girl; I will have a hard time not thinking of your sweet little body.” I close my eyes tightly because I don’t like when they talk to me like this. I don’t want to have any kind of relationship with them. I want them to just leave. I feel his hand on my cheek again. “Don’t be ashamed, baby girl. You are a sexy little thing and you should be proud of what you can do to a grown man. I am getting hard again just thinking about it.” I squeeze my eyes tighter because I can’t do this again. When they start to linger like this, it’s usually because they want more. He runs his hand down my side and touches my ass. So much for him leaving.
This is how my life went from sixteen up until I was leaving for college. The only difference was I got to choose the men later on, and I had all the guys my age that I had sex with. The only thing my mom taught me that would stick with me was to never get tied down. I will never let a man own me, and I refuse to become one of those women dependent on a man emotionally. Sex is fun, carefree, and I fucking love it. It takes me away from the reality of things.
One thing I can guarantee is that I will never have a committed relationship. There is not a man in this world that would be able to make me believe otherwise.
I am in my bedroom getting dressed for the night. We are all going to the bar to get some drinks. We graduated a few weeks ago, so real life is now upon us. I was not sure when I entered college what I wanted to major in. I thought that I would always be destined to be like my mom and sleep around for what I wanted. Once I got here though, I realized how smart I actually was. I decided to get my business degree. Eventually I want to run my own fashion magazine. For now, I have an assistant’s position at a local magazine. Everyone needs to start somewhere.
I finish up with my makeup and put on my black mini skirt, white halter top, and my favorite strappy heels. I give myself a final inspection, and like what I see. I may have the shittiest mother on the planet, but she definitely gave me good self-esteem. I love the way I look from my hair to my perfectly painted toes. Even though she made me do things no child should do, she always made sure to tell me I looked beautiful. I smile at myself and a shiver runs through me. Looking in the mirror like this sometimes brings back memories I would like to forget. I can picture my mother smiling right back at me. I never told Kenz and Becca about the things I did at home. I am ashamed of it; I don’t want their pity. I know they wouldn’t judge me, but I need to leave that part of me in the past. I have overcome the way I was treated, so there is no sense dwelling on it.
I step away from the mirror to grab my purse and walk into the living room. Kenz and Campbell are wrapped around each other on the couch. I’m so fucking happy for my girl. I may not believe in commitment but those two belong together. “For fuck sake, give it a rest already.” They look up at me with their faces beaming with happiness.
“Jealous, Maddie?” I sit down in the big chair to wait on everyone else to be ready.
“Not at all, Campbell. If I wanted to be tied down I would be.” They both look at each other and grin. I know what they are doing. They think that Young and I have a thing going on. We don’t. We fuck and that’s it. I don’t do relationships and I won’t do heart to heart bullshit. That’s what gets you in trouble.
I definitely leaned on Young more then I should have after Kenz was attacked. It was hard when I was in so much pain for my girl and he was right there willing to let me cry on his shoulder. I know that he has feelings for me, but it is just something I won’t act on. Sex is one thing; relationships are something completely different. We still fuck, but I think he knows that’s all it’s ever going to be. At least I hope so.
“What time are we leaving? Shit, I would have taken more time on my outfit if I knew we were going to be waiting around this long.” I’m getting frustrated waiting around. I’ve been sitting here almost a half-hour. I could have been a drink in, looking for a hot guy who could rock my world.
“Dick texted, saying they would be here in a minute.” Campbell says before whispering in Kenz’s ear. I see her blush and rest her head on his chest. Before I can make a comment, Becca finally comes home.
“Damn, Becca, where the hell have you been?” She looks up at me with anger and hurt on her face.
“Where have I been? Hmm, let me think. Oh, that’s right, I was just at Drew’s apartment. After we slept together, he said he wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship, but he had a great time. He rolled over, effectively dismissing me.”
I’m going to kill the fucking piece of shit. I knew he was no good for her. I’ve been telling her for months that she can do better than that asshole. She didn’t want to hear it though. She thought he was going to be something great. I won’t say that to her though. I simply get
up and Kenz and I pull her into a group hug.
“Becca, I’m so sorry sweetie.” Kenz whispers.
“I’m going to cut off his balls and shove them down his fucking throat.” Becca is not like me, this would be the perfect situation for me. Not for her though, she is looking for a happily ever after like Kenz.
“Thanks, girls. I just feel like such a fool for thinking he could be any different. I don’t know why I always end up finding all the losers.” We break apart when the front door opens.
“What do we have here? The beginning of a threesome?” I flip off Young and grab Becca’s hand to pull her to sit on the couch with me.
“If you want to skip out on tonight and hang here we can do that.” She blows out a breath and shakes her head.
“No, I think I need to go out and get drunk.” She has glassy eyes and her makeup is pretty much run off.
“If you’re sure that’s what you want to do, then we will get your ass drunk. I think you may want to freshen up first.” Kenz grabs her hand and pulls her off the couch.
“I got this; we will be out in a few minutes.” I watch my two best friends walk into the bathroom and close the door. I can’t help the smile that makes its way to my face. I will never have a relationship with a man, but those two girls are the best relationship I’ve ever had.
I’m in my own head thinking about what an asshole Drew is when I feel someone plop down on the couch. I look over to see Young with his hands folded behind his head giving me that cocky ass smile of his. I’d love to say it has no effect on me, but that would be a lie. It turns me on and he fucking knows it. “Looking sexy as hell tonight, Maddie.” I cross my legs revealing more skin, tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, and give him a wink. Flirting comes easy for me; I’ve been doing it far longer than most girls. Well, at least with the payoff I used to get. He leans closer to me and my heart starts to beat wildly in my chest. I hate when this happens. Men usually don’t have this kind of effect on me. When things like this happen with Young, it scares the shit out of me. He looks me up and down, pokes out his tongue to wet his lips. “I better be the one making you come tonight, Maddie. No one else, not tonight, I want your sexy ass body wrapped around mine.”
It is instant wet panties and hard nipples for me. I will never let him know the effect he has on me though. I give him a coy smile. “I guess we will see how the night goes.”
We finally get to the bar an hour and a half later then I thought we would. It is packed, which may be a good thing because I can look for a guy to take home and blow Young off. My eyes roam the bar as we make our way to a table. There are actually a lot of good-looking guys here tonight. I am looking for the ones that don’t have girls hanging off of them. Those are usually girlfriends or sometimes even wives. I’ve learned that the hard way. There are tables that have groups of people, like ours. Some have couples making out, some have just girls, and others have just guys. The bar has a mix of people, some sitting on the bar stools, others leaning on it waiting for their drink. I notice one guy, tall, dark hair, muscles that look like they could easily rip off that tight shirt. He may be just what I need tonight.
We are all sitting at the table while Dick goes to get us drinks. Young is sitting next to me, which isn’t a good idea because I can feel myself getting turned on just by his cologne. “Red, got any good stories going on down at the paper? Any secrets you want to share?”
Kenz looks at him like he is crazy. “Why the hell do you always think I’m like an undercover agent that has all these secrets? I don’t even get to write the stories yet; I file shit and get coffee.” Campbell laughs kissing her cheek and Young rolls his eyes at her.
“Sure, whatever you say Red.” He really is a fucking idiot. I look over at Becca and I can tell she is lost in thought. I will kill that fucker.
Dick comes back with shots for all of us and I am so grateful. “I figured we could all use one of these.” He gives Becca a sad look and passes out the shots.
We are all several drinks in and feeling no pain. “You know what time it is fuckers. Truth or dare!” We all start laughing when Young suggests it.
“Hell yes, let’s do this.” I raise my Appletini up before taking a sip.
“Alright, I’ll start. Dick, truth or dare?” Dick looks at Young and cocks his one eyebrow.
“Dare.” Young has his eyebrows draw in and taps his fingers on the table while he thinks. He snaps his head up and gives Dick a huge smile. I am already smiling because I know it will be hilarious.
“I dare you to go over to that table, sit down next to that blond, put your arm around her, and act like she is your girlfriend.” I immediately bust out laughing. Young looks over at me and winks, which sucks the air out of my lungs. I hate that shit.
“Are you fucking serious? You come up with the stupidest dares.” Dick pouts, but he will do it because none of us will back out of a dare. He gets up and walks over to the table. We are all watching closely, no one saying a word. He sits down, throws his arm around the blond, and kisses her cheek. I can’t hold my laughter any more, especially when she slams him.
“Oh, shit, I’m dead.” Young says laughing so hard he has his head thrown back.
When Dick comes back to the table, he points at Young. “Dare, asshole.” Young tries to compose himself. The rest of us don’t even bother to try.
“Fine, dare.” Dick sits down slams back the rest of his beer and smiles at Young.
“Take off your shirt, pinch your nipples, and act like you just blew your load.” I spit my drink out of my mouth and begin to choke.
“Holy shit, this will be fucking great.” Campbell says pulling Kenz onto his lap and kissing her neck. Becca is laughing and that makes me happy.
“Easy, watch and learn, Dickhead.”
He begins to pull his shirt over his head and my fucking heart starts to pound in my chest again. Once he has it off, I can already feel my panties getting wet. I turn away from him and grab my drink. The cold drink does nothing to cool down my body, which is burning up now. “Oh yea, that feels good.” I snap my head over to look at him. He has his head back, biting his bottom lip, that sexy as fuck chest on full display and he is rubbing his nipples. Everyone at the table is hysterical, everyone but me. I am so fucking turned on that I can’t look away. My nipples are begging to be touched and my pussy is aching. “YES! YES! YES!” Young fakes his orgasm and the entire bar bursts out laughing. He stands on his chair with that cocky ass smile. “Thank you, thank you. I’m here for your viewing pleasure.”
I can’t take it anymore. I need to find relief. I literally feel like I am going to explode. While he is making an asshole of himself up on the chair, I look around for the guy I saw earlier. Luckily for me, I see him over by the pool tables. Perfect, since that is on the way to the bathroom. I get up and make my way over there. My nipples are poking out, that is how turned on I am. I walk over and purposely knock over a pool stick that was resting on the wall. When I notice he sees me, I bend over ass in the air, to pick it up. After I stand, he is right there, like I knew he would be. I bite my lip before releasing it and running my tongue over it. “I am so clumsy.” I smile at him and push my breasts out more.
He runs his eyes all over my body before looking back at my face. He gives me a sexy grin. “I’m Brad.” He sticks out his hand. I just need him to fuck me in the bathroom real quick. I don’t need to know his fucking name.
“Hi, Brad. I’m Maddie. If you’ll excuse me I need to use the ladies room.” I start to walk away when I feel him right on my heels. I smile at the victory of it.
I pull Brad into a stall in the bathroom. He looks very excited, like this is his first time having sex in a bathroom. He pushes me up against the door and begins to kiss me. This is what I need. I need the release. He begins kissing down my neck to my breasts. “I need you to touch me, Brad. I need you to suck on my nipples and pinch them. I need to have your cock in my dripping pussy. Alright?” I don’t need the foreplay. Young did that
for me. I just need to fuck Young out of my system right now. He drops his pants and boxers before rolling on a condom. I pull the halter top over my head and let my heavy breasts spill out.
“Oh shit. You are fucking hot Maddie.” I grab his cock in my hand and begin pumping. He closes his eyes and lets out a moan. Jesus Christ, this guy is killing me.
“Brad, I know I’m fucking hot, but if you don’t do what I need you to do this cock is not touching my pussy. I’ll get myself off.” He opens his eyes and I finally see determination. He lifts me up and slams his cock into me. I grab his hair and pull his head toward my nipples that need attention. Once he understands what I am trying to get him to do, he latches on to one nipple with his mouth and pinches my nipple of the other with his free hand. “Fuck, yes. Fuck me, Brad. Oh, it feels so good.” I am so turned on I’m already close to coming. I pull one hand out of his hair and fit it between us to rub my clit.
“Shit, Maddie, I’m going to come.” He moans at me.
“You fucking better not until I do. Pinch my nipples and fuck me harder.” I am very demanding with my partners, but that’s because I know what I want and like. He bites one nipple, pinches the other and I rub circles on my clit. “Fuck, I’m so close, Brad. Be a man and send me over the edge.” Men love when I say that kind of shit. He slams into me so hard the door almost opens, but that’s all it takes for me to explode. “Oh, yes, fuck yes!” I am riding out my orgasm and I feel him still.
“Oh, Maddie. Maddie, my sweet girl.” I snap my head up wide eyed to look at him. Who the fuck says that while they orgasm?
He puts me down and while he flushes the condom, I pull the shirt back on and straighten my panties and skirt. “Thanks, Brad. I guess I’ll see you around sometime.” I start to open the door and he grabs my elbow.
“Wait Maddie. That’s it?” He looks confused, hurt even. Ugh, another clinger.
“Well, yea. We both got what we wanted.” I give him a smile and shrug my shoulders.