Was his fate to be blind and helpless?
He pounded a fist on the mattress, but wished he could put his hands on something he could smash into a thousand pieces.
He didn’t fear darkness. He didn’t fear danger, but the idea of being helpless was too abhorrent for words. And he was, indeed, helpless. Helpless and confined.
He patted his arms and legs and torso—someone had put him in a shirt and drawers, he realised. He lifted the fabric of the shirt to his nose. Clean clothes. Not a hint of smoke. Someone had bathed and clothed him.
Had she undressed him and clad him in a clean shirt? In drawers?
He strained to remember. He recalled leading people out of the fire. Of fire blasting his face. He vaguely remembered being jostled in a carriage, but those memories were mere flashes, with no coherence at all.
His head throbbed and he pressed his temples. How injured was he? He stretched his arms, flexed his legs. The rest of him seemed in one piece. He felt the sting of burns here and there on his skin, but nothing of significance.
He could still walk, could he not? If so, he’d be damned if he remained bedridden.
He slipped off the bed. His legs held him, so he felt his way around the bed’s edge before stepping away. He hated not knowing what lay in his path. Waving his hands in front of him, he took tentative steps. Was this life without sight? Caught in emptiness? Unsure of every step?
A door opened.
‘Mr Westleigh!’ It was Mrs Asher’s voice. ‘You should not be out of bed!’
He heard the clatter of dishes—and smelled porridge. He felt her come near. Caught the scent of roses.
She took his arm. ‘Let me help you back to bed.’
He pulled away. ‘I will not be an invalid.’
She tugged at him. ‘No, but you must rest or you risk being that very thing.’
He still did not wish to comply. ‘Did you bring food?’
‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘And a tray. See? You will be able to eat nicely in bed.’
He jerked away. ‘I cannot see.’
She stepped back and left him in the emptiness again.
Let her abandon him! He’d find his own way back, if necessary.
He turned to where he thought she stood. ‘Is there a table and chair in this room?’
She did not answer right away. ‘Yes.’
‘Then I will sit and eat like a man.’
‘Very well.’ She sighed. ‘Stay where you are.’ He heard furniture being moved. She took his arm again. ‘Come here.’
She led him to a chair. He sat and heard the table being moved towards him. A moment later he smelled the food and heard the sound of a tray being placed in front of him.
She took his hand and placed a spoon in it, and showed him the bowl. ‘It is porridge. And tea.’
He was suddenly famished, but he paused, trying again to face her, wherever she might be. ‘Mrs Asher?’
‘Yes?’ Her voice was petulant, as it should be after his abominable behaviour.
‘Do forgive me.’ He’d behaved badly towards her again. ‘I should be thanking you, nothing else.’
It took several seconds for her to speak. ‘Your apology is accepted, Mr Westleigh.’ Her voice softened. ‘But do eat. You need to eat to gain strength.’
‘I am grateful for the food. I am quite hungry.’ He dipped the spoon, but missed the bowl. ‘Blast.’ He’d forgotten where the bowl was located.
She directed him on his next try. This time he scooped up a spoonful of porridge and lifted it. He missed and hit the corner of his mouth.
She wiped it with a napkin. ‘Let me help you.’ Putting her hand on his, she guided the spoon to his mouth.
The first taste made him ravenous, but he could not bear being fed like a helpless infant. ‘I think I can manage it.’ He groped for the bowl and picked it up in one hand and held it close to his mouth. With his other hand he scooped the porridge with the spoon and shovelled it into his mouth.
No doubt his manners were appalling.
He scraped the bowl clean and felt for a space on the table to put it down. With his fingers, he carefully explored what else was there.
A tea cup, warm to the touch. How was he to manage lifting a tea cup without spilling it?
‘How do you take your tea?’ she asked. ‘I will fix it for you.’
‘Milk and one lump of sugar.’ He listened to the clink of the spoon as she stirred.
When the clinking stopped, she again guided his hand to the cup. He grasped it in both hands and carefully brought it to his mouth, aware of the aroma before attempting to take a sip. He sipped slowly, not because he savoured the taste, but because he did not wish to spill it.
When he finished, he managed to place the cup into its saucer. ‘Thank you, Mrs Asher. You have been very kind.’
‘You should rest now,’ she responded. ‘The surgeon said—’
‘I will give you no further argument.’ He felt for the napkin and wiped his mouth.
She came close again and touched his arm.
‘I want to try to manage by myself.’ He pushed the chair back and stood, getting reoriented to where the bed was. He groped his way back to it and climbed under the covers, aware that she must be watching his every awkward move. In his underclothes.
‘Shall I write to your family and tell them where you are and what has happened to you?’ she asked.
His family? Good God, no.
After this trip he intended to throw off the shackles of family responsibility for a time. He’d been at the family’s beck and call ever since leaving the army.
‘Do not write to my family.’ He raised his voice. ‘They must know nothing about this.’
She did not speak.
He shook his head, realising how he must have sounded. ‘I apologise again.’ He spoke in a milder tone. ‘My family would be the very worst of caretakers.’ They were not expecting him, so they would not worry. He’d not written that he’d left Brussels. Better to not give them any time to find a new task he might perform for them. ‘I beg you would find another solution. I realise I am imposing, but I can well pay for my care. I must not be put in the hands of my family. On that I must insist.’
‘Very well. I will not contact your family.’ He heard the sounds of her picking up the tray from the table. ‘But you must rest now. Someone will check on you later.’ He heard her footsteps walking towards the door. It opened and she spoke once more. ‘Mr Westleigh?’
‘Yes?’ He stiffened, expecting a rebuke.
‘You are not imposing.’
The door closed.
He was alone again. In the dark.
Mrs Asher’s presence was a comfort, an anchor. Alone it was as if he floated in a void. He listened and thought he heard a bird singing outside, a dog’s bark at some distance, footsteps outside the room.
He stilled, waiting to hear if the door would open.
The footsteps faded.
His head ached, his throat ached, his eyes ached, but he was determined to remain awake. If he remained awake, he was not totally helpless.
To keep awake, he recalled the details of the fire.
He’d been leaving the inn’s tavern, returning to his room, when shouts of ‘fire!’ reached his ears. He’d jumped into action, knocking on doors, getting people out. The fire had started in a room on the ground floor. He and others had cleared that floor and worked their way up to the higher floors while the fire kept growing and the task grew more dangerous.
The excitement of it had spurred him on. People had needed saving and someone had to brave the threat to save them, a perfect role for Hugh. He always did what needed to be done. If there was risk involved, so much the better.
He’d fought in the war because England
needed him and, if truth be told, he’d loved the adventure of it, the risk to one’s life, the chance to test his mettle. The army in peacetime was not for him, though. He’d sold his commission and prepared to discover his next adventure. He’d travel, he thought. To Africa. Or the Colonies. Or Chile—no, not Chile. With his luck he’d get embroiled in their War of Independence. It was one thing to risk one’s life for one’s own country, quite another to act as a mercenary. Besides, it was his own independence he yearned to indulge.
Instead, a family crisis had snared him. First his father had nearly impoverished the family by gambling and philandering away its fortunes, then he had tried to cheat the man who’d come to their rescue, his own natural son, John Rhysdale.
After that, Hugh, his brother Ned and Rhysdale had forced their father to move to Brussels and turn over the finances and all his affairs to Ned. Hugh was charged with making certain their father held to the bargain, which meant repeated trips to the Continent. At least this last trip had been the final one. Hugh had been summoned back to Brussels because his father had dropped dead after a night of carousing and drinking.
Hugh suffered no grief over his father’s death—the man hadn’t cared a whit about him or any of the family. His father’s death freed him at last.
Now Hugh’s independence was again threatened when nearly in his grasp. Only this time it might not be family obligation holding him back.
This time it might be blindness.
* * *
Daphne strode immediately from Westleigh’s bedchamber through the cottage and out into the garden where beds of red tulips and yellow narcissus ought to have given her cheer.
How could she be calm? She’d counted on Westleigh’s family coming to care for him. Who would not want family to nurse them back to health? She’d planned on leaving as soon as a family member arrived. They would never see the elusive Mrs Asher. A mere note would be all they knew of her.
The Westleighs would detest knowing the despised Lady Faville had cared for a family member. Hugh Westleigh would detest it, as well. She’d once tried to steal away Phillipa Westleigh’s new husband after all.
And, because her vanity had been injured, she’d heaved a lighted oil lamp against the Masquerade Club’s wall. It had shattered, just as her illusions had shattered in that moment. In a flash, though, the curtains and her own skirts had caught fire.
Her hands flew to her burning cheeks. She’d been so afraid. And ashamed! What sort of person does such a thing?
Yes, the Westleighs would hate her, indeed.
She’d been a coward that day, running away after Phillipa had saved her from her burning skirts. She was a coward still. She should simply tell Hugh Westleigh her identity—she should have told him from the beginning—
What would the abbess have said? Do what is right, my child. You shall never err if you follow the guide of your own conscience. Do always what is right.
But what happens if one does not know what is right? What is one supposed to do in that event?
Was it right to tell him the truth or better to hide the truth and not upset him?
Daphne paced back and forth. It would only be two weeks until his bandages came off and he’d be on his way. She stopped and placed her hands on her cheeks.
Unless he was blind.
Please, dear God. Let him not be blind!
She shook her head. Who was she to pray?
She, Carter and Monette simply must take the best care of him. Not upset him. Give him the best chance to heal.
Perhaps the dear abbess would intercede with God for him on Daphne’s behalf. And perhaps the abbess would forgive her if she did not tell the truth this time. No real harm in him thinking she was merely Mrs Asher for such a little while. Feeling only slightly guilty, Daphne strolled around to the front of the cottage.
Two young women approached from the road and quickened their pace when they saw her.
‘Beg pardon, ma’am. Are you Mrs Asher?’ They looked no more than fifteen years, each of them.
‘I am Mrs Asher,’ she responded.
‘We’ve come looking for work, ma’am,’ one said. ‘Mr Brill, the agent, told us you might be needing some help in the cottage—’
‘We can do whatever you need,’ the other broke in. ‘We’re strong girls. Mr Brill will vouch for us.’
Both were simply dressed and their clothing looked very old and worn. In fact, their gowns hung on them.
‘We need work very bad, ma’am,’ the first girl said. ‘We’ll do anything.’
‘I am not sure...’ Daphne bit her lip. Would it be right to hire maids to work in a house where she would stay for only two weeks?
‘Please, Mrs Asher,’ the second girl said. ‘We can show you how good we work. Give us a chance.’
What difference did it make to her? She had plenty of money to pay them. It was the easiest thing in the world to say yes. Besides, the abbess would say she’d done a good thing.
‘Very well, girls,’ she said. ‘Follow me. If Mrs Pitts approves, you may become our new maids of all work.’
They could deliver the meals to Mr Westleigh. Daphne would be able to avoid him altogether. Then it would not matter who he thought she was.
Chapter Three
Hugh lost his battle to stay awake. He had no idea how long he slept, but he woke again to darkness.
Cursed eyes!
Was it day or night? Was he alone or was someone in the room?
Was she here?
He remained still and strained to hear the sounds of someone moving, someone breathing.
It was so quiet.
The hiss of the fireplace; otherwise, silence. Was anyone near? Would they hear him if he called out for help?
Although he’d be damned if he’d call out for help.
Or for water.
His throat was parched with thirst. There must be water somewhere in the room. She must have left some for him.
He climbed out of bed, not as steady on his feet as he might wish. The carpet on the floor was soft and cool on his bare feet. Carefully, he started from right next to the bed, groping—and finding—a side table. He ran his hand over the table’s surface. No water. Merely a candlestick—certainly an item for which he had no need.
He groped past the table and bumped into a wooden chair. He backed away and knocked the table onto the floor. The carpet muffled the sound. No one would be roused by the noise.
Crouching, he felt around for the table, found it and righted it. The candlestick must have rolled away. Useless to search for it anyway.
Moving cautiously again, he made his way past the chair. With the wall as his guide, he inched his way towards the fireplace, feeling the fire’s heat grow stronger as he neared. His hand found the mantel. His toes smashed against the hearth.
He backed away and found more chairs and another table upon which there was a book. Another item for which he had no use.
Continuing, he discovered a door. It was a dressing room, smelling of dust, its shelves empty. He closed the door and his fingers felt along the wall until he came to another door. The door to the hallway. He turned the latch and opened the door and felt the change in temperature. But the hallway was silent.
He closed the door again and groped his way back to the bed. On the other side was another table. On the table he found a drinking glass and the water pitcher. He could never pour the water into the glass. He lifted the entire pitcher to his lips and took several gulps of the cool, minty liquid.
Placing the pitcher back on the table, he felt his way back to the bed, but halted. Lying abed like an invalid held no appeal.
He might as well continue his haphazard search of the room.
He found his trunk in one corner, his boots, smelling of bootblack, next to it. He found a ro
cking chair and a window.
A window! Fresh air. Hugh found the sash, opened the window and felt a cool breeze against his face. On the breeze was the scent of green grass, rich soil and flowers. He stuck his hand out the window and tried to sense whether it was day or night.
Without eyes, he could not tell.
He felt for the rocking chair and turned it towards the window. She must have sat in this rocking chair while in the room; her scent, very faint, clung to it. He lowered himself into it and rocked. The rhythm soothed him. The breeze cooled his skin. And banished the memory of the fire’s infernal heat.
* * *
He must have dozed. For how long this time? Half awake, half asleep, he became aware of a knock at the door. The door opened. He knew instantly it was not she.
‘Sir! You are not abed.’ A male voice.
Hugh shook himself awake. ‘Who are you?’
‘I am Carter, sir. La—Mrs Asher’s footman.’ The voice did not come closer, so Carter must have remained by the door. ‘I came to attend you.’
‘I am grateful.’ She’d said her footman would come. ‘Can you tell me what time it is?’
‘Seven, sir,’ Carter replied.
‘Morning or evening?’ Did they not see he could not tell?
‘Morning, sir.’
‘What day?’ Hugh tried not to let his impatience show.
‘Oh! You must not realise—’ Carter’s voice deepened. ‘Forgive me—I will explain—it is Friday. We arrived here Wednesday. The day after the fire. You slept most of yesterday. It is Friday morning now.’
He’d lost two days.
‘I will assist you, sir. Shave you and whatever else you might require.’
Shave? Hugh scraped his hand against the stubble on his chin. He must have appeared like a ruffian to her.
Carter’s voice came closer. ‘Unless you would like me to help you back into bed.’
‘No.’ Hugh forced himself not to snap at the man. It was not Carter’s fault he needed the assistance. ‘I will not return to bed. Shave me and help me dress, if you would be so good.’
A Lady of Notoriety (The Masquerade Club) Page 3