“I don’t know.”
“Go talk to him, Kate,” Jenner said more sternly. “Don’t walk away from this. Most people spend their entire lives looking for the kind of relationship you two have. You’re both crazy in love. It’s so obvious to everyone. I don’t think you should give up on this.”
Later that afternoon as Kate was poised outside Sam’s studio, she silently berated herself a thousand times over. Dropping in unannounced to her best friend’s workplace should not feel like a major moral dilemma. Nor should she feel this afraid, but Jenner was right. This was important. Sam was important. And of course, she was madly, desperately in love with him. How could she not be? But before Kate fell too hard, past the point of any chance of recovery, she had to tell Sam the truth. If he couldn’t handle it, she had to know now before it was too late.
Bracing herself with a deep breath, Kate opened the door. The front reception area was abandoned so she walked quietly down the hall. She heard hushed voices through an open door. She stepped inside and stood silently in the shadows of what Sam often referred to as his ‘magic room.’ The large open area resembled the interior of an empty warehouse, except several large windows flooded it with natural light.
Near the center of the room, Hannah lay half-naked on a raised platform. A sheer, white cloth was draped across her breasts. With camera in hand, Sam crossed the room, snapping off several shots. The sight of him squeezed her heart. Wearing an old T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans that rested low on his tight waist, he looked so magnificent and so strangely unfamiliar. Everything about him was different, masculine. Even his posture was changed. He stood with a loose slack.
“I was thinking about Elena the other day,” Hannah purred as she stretched lazily.
“The duke’s daughter from Milan?” Sam questioned.
“Remember her glorious pussy?” Hannah prodded.
“I remember that bitch gave me gonorrhea,” Sam shot back.
“That was unfortunate,” Hannah conceded. “But she was a good fuck. Speaking of, you haven’t been out much lately.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“With Kate,” Hannah stated drily.
Kate braced herself against the wall, trying to remain invisible. Feeling both incredibly rude for eavesdropping, but also insatiably curious, she stood fixed and immobile.
“You’re always a selfish bitch with your new toys,” Hannah said coyly. “I think you’ve kept her to yourself long enough.”
“Kate isn’t like that,” Sam answered harshly.
“How would you know?” Hannah said softly. “And I’d be willing to bet you haven’t fucked her yet.”
“Shut up, Hannah,” Sam growled with warning.
“What—is she a virgin?” Hannah asked with disdain. “Seriously Sam, I don’t understand the attraction. What’s the point of keeping a pet if she won’t play?”
What a dirty, depraved, horrible little bitch, Kate thought to herself.
A few seconds later, Hannah sat up and blinked in surprise. “Kate, darling, I didn’t see you there. Did you just come in?”
Yeah right, you stupid, skinny, ugly cow. Hannah knew she had been standing there the whole time. Pet—my ass. Why don’t you come over here so I can bite you?
“I just got here,” Kate said as she stepped out of the shadows.
Sam turned around and looked at her apprehensively. He then turned back to Hannah and said, “We’re done today. I got what I needed.”
“So did I,” Hannah retorted with a playful wink and then walked unabashedly out of the room.
Once she was gone, Sam motioned towards a table near the back corner. After he sat down beside her, he said, “Sorry about Hannah. She’s a nasty little cunt.”
“No, no…nothing says a good time like a nobility-grade STD. If you have to get one, it’s best to get the proper and refined variety,” Kate said in a lame attempt at levity.
Sam let out a ragged breath. His hands rested casually across his knees, but his foot bounced against the floor uncharacteristically. “This can’t be good news. You never come over without calling first.”
“I just dropped in to say hello.”
“Hello,” Sam said drily with a shy smile.
Kate stared quietly at his face for several seconds before blinking and looking down at her hands. “Everything about you is different. You look different, sound different, you even smell different. I feel like I’m talking to a stranger.”
“I don’t feel any different,” Sam said quietly. “And as long as we’re going with the five major senses, I wouldn’t taste different either.”
“Hmm,” Kate murmured shyly. “I wanted to apologize about this morning. Last night was beautiful, and I was horrid this morning. I just wanted to say I’m sorry…” Kate started wearily, placed her elbow on the table, and rested her cheek against her palm, “…and I’m sorry that I have to keep apologizing for the same thing over and over.”
“I’m not angry,” Sam said. “I just don’t understand, Kate.”
“Well…” Kate started with a nervous giggle but quickly her face fell. “…My panic attacks began near the end of my freshman year in college. My parents took me to a psychiatrist, and after a full evaluation, it was decided that the stress of school had caused them. And because I liked that version of the story much more than mine, I went with it.”
“What happened?” Sam whispered.
“I was raped,” Kate announced flatly. It was odd saying those words for the first time in her life. Over the years, she had furiously guarded them deep in her mind, never saying them aloud to anyone. Not even Jenner knew the truth. She always imagined it would be so much harder to say, to admit, but she felt strangely disconnected, as if she were telling someone else’s story, not her own.
“It’s just so stupid, all of it. I was so incredibly stupid,” Kate whispered.
“Kate, it wasn’t your fault,” Sam denied.
“But it was. At least, part of it was. I knew better. Jenner and I had went to a party, and I drank too much. There was a boy there named Gabe. All night, he was so nice and solicitous. It was getting late, and he offered to walk me back to the dorms. He said he wanted to keep me safe. Keep me safe—how ridiculous is that? He took me to my room, and it happened. I was so drunk I couldn’t remember most of it. Only flashes. Me saying ‘no’ and him whispering, ‘shh.’ The next morning Gabe was still there. He said I was such a good fuck that he wanted to do it again. And I remember everything about that time. I fought, I cried, I begged, but nothing would stop him. After he left, I got in the shower and stayed there for over two hours. No amount of hot water and soap made me feel clean. And then I crawled back into my bed and stayed there the rest of the weekend. Jenner called, but I told her I had come down with something. On Monday, I got out of bed and went to class because I had a final exam. I decided to pretend that it never happened because that was the only way I could cope. For a few months I was fantastic—until I met a theater major named Jeremy. We went out on a few dates and kissed a couple times. One night, Jeremy grew bold and tried to reach under my shirt, but instead of touching my breasts, he ended up driving me to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack. After him, I tried to date a few more boys, but it was always the same. They would get frisky, and I would freak out. The attacks were almost worse than the rape. I lived in constant fear that they would return until I realized that I would never be able to be intimate with anyone ever again. And then you came along.”
“So I did,” Sam agreed.
“The thing is—I’ll never be normal, Sam.”
“Have I ever said or done anything since we met that made you believe I desire normalcy?”
“It will happen again,” Kate said.
“So, this morning was a tad jolting, like being awoken by incredibly loud alarm clock without the benefit of a snooze button, but I can handle it,” Sam readily stated.
“It won’t just happen in the morning. I may just randomly freak out in the
middle of a grocery store,” Kate warned.
“And I may just randomly show up at your parent’s house wearing a corset,” Sam said, causing a slight grin from Kate. “The thing about us is we’re a pair of freaks, both of us, but I believe with every fiber of my being that no one will ever make either of us happy but each other. I’m in love with you, Kate. I told you so last night. I just want to be with you. I’ll do whatever I need to do.”
“Sam, I love you too,” Kate whispered.
Sam stood and pulled her up into his arms. When his lips eagerly descended upon hers, Kate froze and pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” she whispered.
Sam ran his hand through his raven hair. “It’s okay,” he said raggedly.
“It’s the light,” Kate explained. “Both times there was light.”
“The light?” Sam questioned. “Kate, I’m a photographer. I have a darkroom.”
“Oh,” Kate gasped. “That could be promising. Do you have any more appointments today?”
“Thank heavens, no,” Sam quickly said. “I’ll be right back.”
A few minutes later, Sam returned and reached for her hand. “Are you sure you’re all right with this? I don’t want you to feel forced into something you’re not comfortable doing.”
“You weren’t saying that last night,” Kate retorted with a wink.
“Last night I behaved like a horny asshole,” Sam answered softly. “If I would have known…”
“If you would have known—what?” Kate asked defensively. “I loved every minute of it.”
“So did I,” Sam admitted. “Besides the obvious, I thoroughly enjoyed embarrassing you. You’re so sweet,” he said and reached for a tendril of her hair. “I’ve been so debauched for so many years; it’s been a long time since I’ve met anyone like you. You’re still so innocent. I love that about you.”
“Is this your way of saying we won’t be playing with your other friends?” Kate asked coyly.
“Hell no,” Sam stated firmly. “I won’t be sharing you with anyone. Come here.”
Sam took her to the darkroom. When he closed the door behind them, it became just that. Sam stood in front of her. He gently gathered her hair in his hand, tied it in a loose ponytail, and then started to lightly massage her scalp.
“That feels nice,” Kate murmured.
“Nice, huh?” Sam chuckled as he slipped his hands to her front and unbuttoned her shirt. Next, he removed her lace bra and placed both items on some unseen surface. His hands moved up to palm her breasts as his thumbs brushed across her nipples. He whispered, “Does this feel nice too?”
“Yes, very nice,” Kate moaned.
“Very nice, is it now? You’re a hard woman to impress. Tell me, Miss Logan, how should I make love to you?” he wickedly whispered.
“Like you did before,” Kate whimpered.
“Which time?” Sam asked just before he took her erect nipple into his mouth.
“That feels good,” Kate moaned.
“From nice to good, progress I suppose, but you didn’t answer my question,” Sam purred against her breast. His hands moved to her jeans. After he unbuttoned them and released the zipper, he pulled them down over her hips. After Kate stepped out of them, he reached down and cupped her sex through her panties. “I think these should stay on for a moment or two,” he said as his finger slipped through her lower lips and caressed her clit with silk. “How does that feel?”
“Wonderful,” Kate groaned.
“Wonderful, now we’re definitely making progress, but you still haven’t answered my question. How do you want to be fucked? Because you see, I am quite willing and capable of doing it any way you like,” Sam said.
“Are you trying to embarrass me again?” Kate breathlessly questioned.
“Maybe, just a little. I have grown rather fond of your ambiguous use of adjectives, but I also want to know what you want.”
“What do you want?” Kate questioned.
“I want everything,” Sam said. “I want to touch every part of you with every part of me.”
“That sounds…”
Sam sank to his knees and kneeled down in front her. “Sounds what?” Sam chuckled. “Please let it be some synonym of good,” he teased.
“That sounds hot,” Kate choked.
“Miss Logan, you disappoint me,” Sam murmured against her silk panties. His hands reached around and massaged her ass, drawing her to his mouth. “I was looking for pleasant, enjoyable, or at the very least, gratifying.”
“All of the above,” Kate moaned.
“What about this?” Sam questioned as his fingers pushed up into her throbbing core. “You’re so tight and wet—what I should do about that?”
“Fill it,” Kate groaned.
“Fill it or fuck it?” Sam questioned.
“Both,” Kate squeaked.
Sam suddenly stood. “Not yet,” he announced and pulled her high up in his arms with her legs wrapped around his waist.
He opened his mouth against hers, swept his tongue inside as he slowly moved forward, and then set her down on what felt like a metal table. “Do you like your taste? I know I do. Before I fuck you, I want to worship every inch of your body.”
Sam proceeded to do just that—worship her body with his hands, with his mouth. No crevice went unexplored. By the time he finished, Kate lost count of her orgasms until one after another rolled into the next. She was so primed and ready she thought she might die if he didn’t take her soon.
Sam gently nudged her down and then pulled her hips to the edge. He spread her legs wide and placed her feet on the table to rest beside her hips.
Kate heard him fumble with something before he slowly slid deep inside her. “You lied,” Kate moaned. “You feel different.”
Sam chuckled raggedly. “That’s because I am wearing a condom. Don’t you like how I feel inside you?”
“You know I do,” Kate whispered, feeling slightly tortured by his fullness. He pressed so deep she felt him in her tummy.
“Touch yourself, Kate. Like I taught you to,” Sam sighed as he rocked deep inside her.
“I can’t,” Kate protested.
“Yes, you can,” Sam affirmed and reached for her hand. He held their hands together at the apex of her spread thighs.
Kate relented and her fingers slipped past his.
“That really turns me on,” Sam whispered, “thinking about you pleasuring yourself. Last night, I nearly exploded when you started talking about dildos. I want to watch you sometime, Kate. I want to watch you fucking yourself.”
The erotic visual he created sent her flying once again, only this time she shattered around him, milking him dry.
After he pulled out, Sam whispered, “I want to ask you something. It’s fine if you say no, but I’d very much like to see you just as you are right now before we leave.”
Feeling calmer and more relaxed than she had since ever, Kate felt confident in her answer. “Yes.”
Instead of turning on the overhead light, Sam opened the door. The natural light flooded into the darkness, casting them in twilight.
“Sweet Jesus,” Sam whistled between his teeth.
Chapter 8
After Sam left, Kate scooted off the table and dressed. She suspected his sudden departure had nothing to do with rudeness and everything to do with fighting the temptation to stay. She found him fully dressed, packing up his camera equipment.
“You’re fast,” Kate said.
“A benefit of dressing down is it doesn’t take nearly as long,” Sam answered. “I thought tonight we should do something like a proper couple. Maybe grab some carry-out and take it back to my place.”
“Your place,” Kate teased. “How very risqué of you.”
“You could have visited before now.”
“You never invited me,” she challenged.
“I wanted to,” Sam admitted with a shrug. “I just didn’t, I guess.”
“Now who’s the one wi
th the ambiguous vocabulary?”
“I know, right? Let’s get out of here.”
They stopped off for some Chinese before Sam drove them to a high-rise, even higher priced, condominium building. He pulled in front of the building and a valet stepped forward.
“Good evening, Mr. Montgomery,” he said very formerly.
“I think it will be,” Sam answered.
At the elevator bank, Kate couldn’t help but ask, “What does he say when you come back in drag?”
“Good evening, Mr. Montgomery,” Sam answered with a mischievous grin. “Everyone around here is pretty much used to it but occasionally a new tenant will give me the stray look.”
“I imagine so,” Kate agreed as the elevator door opened. She suddenly remembered their last elevator ride together. Once the door closed behind them, she said, “You smirked at me.”
“When?”
“The other day in the elevator. You smirked at me.”
“I did not,” Sam denied. “It was more of a leer, and I only did that because you kept bending over, showing off your ass.”
“I wasn’t doing that,” Kate gasped outraged. “I was trying to see if you were still wearing your sunglasses.”
“Whatever,” Sam shrugged. “But trust me; I wasn’t the only one leering.”
“You’re such a pervert,” Kate teased.
“I’m a pervert because I look at a beautiful ass whenever it is shoved in my face but not because I dress in women’s clothing?”
“Exactly.”
“I imagine there might be a few people who would challenge that,” Sam said.
“What do they know?” Kate dismissed and strolled through the door when it opened on his floor.
Once Sam unlocked the door, Kate walked inside his condo. It was just as she imagined it would be, only a bit more high-end because she only recently discovered he was a multi-millionaire. The condo was designed as an open concept. The large living room spilled into a sitting area and eventually into the kitchen. Kate silently wondered if a few walls hadn’t been removed once he took possession. The black marble floors disappeared into a hallway where the back rooms were hidden behind closed doors. The state-of-the-art kitchen was decked out with stainless-steel appliances and granite countertops. The wall opposite the front door was made from floor-to-ceiling glass. The wall behind her was covered with framed photographs, all of which had been, no doubt, taken by Sam except for the large picture that hung in the center.
Hook, Line, and Garter (Bitches and Queens) Page 7