“I need someone to tell me that Kate is fine,” Sam spat.
“Kate is fine,” Hannah answered drily.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, you know that old saying—only the good die young…” Hannah said as she looked back and forth between Sam and Jenner, “…and contrary to what you both believe, Kate is not that good of a person.”
“Hannah,” Sam growled with warning.
“Fine, I’ll leave,” Hannah said as she stood. “But I want you to promise to call me as soon as you know something.”
Sam nodded slightly. Once she left, the tiny room was once again silent. Only the soft humming of electricity that powered the coffee maker and microwave filled the room. Jenner shuffled in her seat impatiently. Occasionally, she looked over at Sam. He remained still as stone, staring blankly at the floor like a marble statue. He only became animated again when Dr. Markson walked through the door still wearing his blue surgical scrubs. Sam started to stand, but Dr. Markson motioned for him to stay seated and then he sat down across from them both.
“Kate had a mild myocardial infarction,” he explained perfunctorily. “We were able to use a stint to open the vein, but there were some complications.”
“What complications?” Sam questioned, his voice full of gravel.
“This wasn’t her first heart attack. She has had two, possibly three, other attacks. There was some significant scar tissue, and right now her heart is very weak.”
“Jesus Fucking Christ,” Sam cried as he fell back against the seat. His hand covered his mouth as his foot began tapping a rapid beat against the floor.
Jenner didn’t even bother trying to keep it together. Big, fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t know exactly what the physician was trying to say, but she did remember all the times she tried to convince Kate that she could get over her ‘panic attacks’.
Dr. Markson maintained his professional distance before he finally gave in and said, “Sam, I knew your daddy since you were still wearing diapers. In all those years, I never once saw that man cry. I was by his side when he buried his wife and on the golf course when he scored more double bogeys than I could count, but never once did I see a single tear. It wasn’t until your eighteen birthday when he was sitting where you are now that I did. He was real mess, snotting himself something awful, and I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him. This isn’t my first rodeo. I know what I know, and I wouldn’t feed you any false promises. That little gal isn’t going to die—not under my watch. Right now, she needs you to be strong.”
Sam wordlessly nodded his head in acknowledgement.
“She’ll be on a ventilator for a few days to give her heart and lungs a chance to rest. We will keep her sedated. When she wakes up, the best thing you can do for her is keep her calm and as stress free as possible. It is very important for her long-term recovery. You may go back and see her, but for tonight, only one visitor at a time,” Dr. Markson explained.
Sam stood and shook his hand. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
“Only doing my job. You have my number, they have my number, if anything happens it will only take me a few minutes to get back here, but for now, I’m going home. I’ll see both of you first thing in the morning.”
Once he left, Sam and Jenner, both standing, turned and looked at each other. Sam finally said, “Ladies first.”
“No, you should go back first,” Jenner insisted.
“Go on,” Sam said and nodded towards the door.
After she left, Sam held still for several moments. Calm and stress free as possible. He hadn’t even known her a year, but God only knew the amount of stress he had caused. Although he might never know for certain, he strongly suspected at least two of those heart attacks were because of him. If he stayed and he wasn’t able to do as the doctor ordered, the next attack Kate had might not be so lucky. She would be dead. Knowing what he needed to do, Sam reached for the bag of clothes and walked away without a second glance. It hurt worse than he knew possible, but if Kate’s only hope of survival was by him leaving, it was worth the pain.
At the double metal door, Jenner had to be buzzed back to the unit. She quickly found Kate’s room, but was overwrought by the sight. Kate looked so tiny and defenseless, lying immobile and attached to so many machines. The component nurse moved around the bed, performing her various duties.
“Is she your friend?”
“My first cousin actually,” Jenner explained.
“If you want to, you can sit down by the bed. She is unconscious because of the ventilator. I don’t know if the physician explained this but it can feel a bit like drowning. If you want, you can talk to her. I can’t promise she will hear you, but I have had several patients tell me they remembered their loved ones talking to them,” the nurse explained.
“Okay,” Jenner muttered and sat down beside Kate. Knowing Sam would be desperate to get back here and see Kate, she only stayed a few minutes, but when she walked back to the waiting room, he was gone.
As the days passed, Kate drifted through the dreamless void, unaware of time, space, or even herself. When she slowly regained consciousness, she was vaguely aware of a tight, burning sensation in her chest, which rapidly intensified. Thinking at first that she was being held under water, she struggled to open her eyes, which were as immobile as her limbs. Through sheer will and determination, the seams opened, letting in a blinding light. The light faded, and Kate saw the faces of her mother and father hovering above her, which only made her more confused as she was expecting to see Sam. Where was he?
On the second day after she was taken off the ventilator, the nurse on duty decided it was time for her to get out of bed. Kate never experienced anything as exhausting as her first lap around the unit. Using a walker, she had to stop several times to catch her breath. While the unit was large, it was hardly a marathon, yet each door she passed felt like a watering station.
On the night before she was to be discharged, Kate was making her laps with Jenner by her side. As none of her family had met Sam, they didn’t know to mention him, but Jenner knew, and her silence spoke all the words Kate needed to hear. Yet, it was so strange not talking about him. Hospitals weren’t exactly the best place to sleep and, during those restless hours, Kate began wondering if he had just been a figment of her imagination. A long, strange, beautiful dream. Although she knew it wasn’t true, it would have almost been easier to accept. If nothing else during her stay in the cardiac care unit, Kate learned the truth about life—occasionally it gets ugly. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow is just a wish, and sometimes the present is paved with a trail of broken hearts. The only way to move forward was to accept what she had, what she lost, and wish for better days to come.
“Sam isn’t coming, is he?” Kate questioned.
Jenner came to a stop. The overly enthusiastic smile she had plastered on her face since Kate first woke up fell. “Katie, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Kate answered as she continued moving forward. “I understand.”
“You do?” Jenner questioned in disbelief. “Because I sure as heck don’t.”
“He once told me he couldn’t sit by and watch me die,” Kate admitted without emotion.
“Well, you aren’t dying now. So, what’s his excuse?”
“He doesn’t need one. It’s over.”
Chapter 19
Six months later
Kate could hardly believe it was finally happening. Over the past several months, her timeline had been differentiated by seconds. Each breath culminating to this moment. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, she was healthier than she had been in years, no doubt in thanks to her former employer, who had spared no expense in her rehabilitation. Whenever her mother raved about MMI’s fabulous health insurance policy, Kate held her tongue. There was no need to tell her that one benefit of sleeping with one of the board of directors was the parting gifts. While some men showered their ex-lovers with diamonds, Sam instead
opted for paying all her medical bills, which over the course of six months had added up to a significant amount. Besides the hospital, physicians, and laboratory bills, Kate learned from a human resource representative on the day she was released that she qualified for nutritional counseling, cardiac rehab, and psychological services as well. Not to mention, her salary would be paid in full for one year’s time, with the option for an extension of benefits if she was unable to return to work.
In all that time, she had neither seen nor heard from Sam. Kate didn’t even know if he was still in Austin, or Texas for that matter. It was probably for the best. Like her therapist frequently reminded her, don’t be bitter about what happened. Instead, take the best parts and become a better you.
And so she had, and here she was today, sitting with her mother, Jane, her Aunt Rainey, Jenner, and Finn inside Parker Convention Center, waiting for the first guests to arrive. That they managed to pull it off was nothing short of a miracle.
Jane reached for Kate’s hand and said, “Just think, it will be your turn next.”
Kate laughed. “I have to find man to marry me first.”
“Common misconception,” Finn denied with a wave of his hand. “It is never too early to start planning, and while I can’t make any promises, I have on several occasions witnessed firsthand that when you begin planning the wedding, the groom will suddenly appear.”
His phone began buzzing, and Finn stood up and floated across the room. When he was out of earshot, Jane leaned forward and whispered, “What about Finn?”
“Mother, you can’t be serious. He’s gay.”
“Oh, I know,” Jane begrudgingly admitted. “It’s just that it would be so handy to have someone like him around for the holidays…” using one his signature catchphrases of reversing the order of words, “…don’t work the holidays, make the holidays work for you.”
Jenner and Rainey chuckled, but both admitted Finn had been nothing but a godsend. When Jenner announced three months ago that she was engaged, everyone was surprised, shocked by her proclamation that she wanted the blessed event to take place in three months’ time, but Kate had been downright flabbergasted by her choice of groom, Eric. The future stand-up comedian had failed to mention that he came from old Texas money with a lineage of oil barons and southern debutantes. Of course, Rainey and her husband, Edward, were both thrilled for their daughter, but coming from more modest stock, Rainey was intimidated by the thought of hosting a high-society wedding. As maid-of-honor, Kate had the perfect solution, Finn. The old-money bureaucrats had nothing on him, as evidenced by the large conference room transformation. Once a wide open space for business conventions, now a lilac and gardenia paradise for a mother-of-the-bride’s tea and luncheon.
“Speaking of dolls, I met your friend Sam,” Aunt Rainey said.
“Sam?” Kate choked. “Where?”
“At the studio,” Rainey answered nonchalantly. “Jane, you are going to love Sam.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on?” Kate flustered.
Jenner looked guilty before she explained, “I didn’t think you would mind. You said you didn’t mind. When we discovered the photographer double booked, I didn’t know what else to do.”
Jane, coming to full alert, interrupted. “Why would you care?”
“I don’t care,” Kate hissed at her mother and then looked at Jenner. “Sam is doing your wedding?”
“You sound like you care to me,” Jane said.
“Yes,” Jenner squeaked.
Kate took a deep breath. All right, Sam was doing the wedding, no big deal. Right? She knew this day would come eventually. It was inevitable that one day she would run into him again. At least she had a month to get her game face on.
Finn breezed back. “That was Sam. He forgot to bring his GPS, and couldn’t remember what street to turn on to, but I set him right. He will be here in a few minutes.”
“He’s coming today?” Kate nearly screamed.
“Of course he is coming today. The wedding isn’t just about the ceremony. We need to capture the entire event,” Finn explained.
“See, you do care,” Jane said triumphantly. “I knew it. You lived inside me for nine months, and a mother always knows.”
“I don’t care,” Kate reaffirmed and then sighed. “Sam and I had a little falling out, but it wasn’t a big deal. It will be a little awkward, but I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“It will be fine,” Rainey said reassuringly. “Sam is such a sweetie, and I couldn’t imagine anyone could stay angry with him. And…” she started but let out a girlish giggle and starting waving her hand in front of her face, “…oh my goodness, Jane, I didn’t even know they made men like that. Here he was discussing his method of capturing the perfect moment and all I could think was—I would like capture the perfect moment with you.”
“Mother,” Jenner groaned in disgust.
Kate felt a piece of her better self crumble on the inside. Could this day possibly get any worse? Not only was she forced to come face-to-face with the man who proposed to her one day and then bailed the next when she needed him the most, but now her aunt admitted to fantasizing about him naked. Kate realized that she had only one possible option—ignore Sam at all costs. Otherwise, her new, better self was destined to become nothing but a memory.
“Here he is, the golden boy. We were just talking about you,” Finn proclaimed gleefully.
“Oh my,” Jane whistled through her teeth.
Kate didn’t turn to look in his direction. She couldn’t look at him, not yet, but she felt his presence wrap around her like a second skin. Rainey and Jenner stood and started to cross the room. Kate stayed stubbornly in her seat, and Jane stayed behind with her.
“Are you sure you are all right? You know, I’m your mother and you can tell me anything,” Jane whispered.
“I’m fine,” Kate whispered back. “Do you want to meet him?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“Let’s get this over with,” Kate begrudgingly said.
She walked towards where the trio gathered around Sam, keeping her eyes focused on the wall in front of her. Thinking of the most annoying song she could remember, Kate shouted the lyrics in her mind to drown out the sound of his voice. When they came within just a few feet, Kate placed her hand on her mother’s back, gently pushed her forward, and then explained, “I think I just saw Nana Linda’s car pull up. I’m going to go out there and see if she needs any help getting inside.”
The luncheon tea was a smashing success. Jenner migrated through the room like a well-seasoned social butterfly. Kate chatted amicably with several women who sat at her table. Rainey and Jane got along fabulously with Eric’s mother and grandmother. It would have been a perfect day if Sam wasn’t there. Kate managed to get through the entire lunch without once looking at him, but she sensed his every subtle move. Although he tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible, Kate heard several of the ladies whispering about him.
One blatant lady named Elle Lynn, who couldn’t have been a day under seventy, actually called him over to the table. Kate slyly knocked her fork off the table and bent over to retrieve it.
“Darling, I was just wondering if I could get a picture of you,” Elle said.
“No, I just take the pictures,” Sam answered.
Kate wanted to gag. She could still see his black, leather loafers from under the table. Why wouldn’t he just go away? If she stayed like this very much longer, she would get light-headed. Finally, he moved on, and Kate sat upright. Of course, all the other women had been too dazzled by Sam to notice her under-the-table excursion. Vaguely, she felt a tingling sensation on her neck and realized he was standing right behind her. Clenching the fork in her hand like a little, mini-trident, Kate was poised and ready to strike.
Your better self, your better self, Kate inwardly chanted. Stabbing her ex with a kitchen utensil was not conducive with her better self. Slowly, she let the fork fall from her hand.
“Kate, tell Rainey about that new man you’re seeing,” Jane said with an overly loud voice.
What man? Kate thought to herself. The only man she had mentioned to her mother was a guy she chatted with at the grocery store about produce, and Kate only told her that because she had been badgering her since Jenner’s announcement.
“He’s a vegetarian,” Kate muttered helplessly.
After the tea and lunch had been served, Finn suggested that in lieu of an official toast, they should open the floor for the guests. The idea was that all the other women could give Jenner little tidbits for a happy marriage. Considering her one and only engagement had lasted just a little over twenty-four hours, Kate was in whole-hearted agreement with his suggestion. She was relieved when it started because she knew it signaled the end of this horrible day.
When one by one the women stood and gave their helpful advice, Kate tried to remain open-minded. One, make that two, bad experiences shouldn’t leave her forever bitter, but when her dear Nana Linda stood and began to speak, it was the final straw.
“Marry your best friend, and your relationship can withstand anything,” Nana Linda said.
“If that was true, one out of every two marriages wouldn’t end in divorce,” Kate muttered under her breath.
“Oh, Kate has something,” Jane said excitedly.
“No,” Kate shook her head in denial, “I don’t have anything.”
“Go on,” Jane prodded.
Kate slowly stood and looked at all the faces staring back her. Her mind whirled, trying to think of anything that sounded remotely appropriate, but when she saw the flash of a camera, Kate realized that today she wasn’t going to be her better self.
“I think everything you all have said sounds like fantastic, wonderful, very sound advice, but let’s face it—this whole thing has been rushed. At best, it’s a rebound. Honestly, I don’t think they have a leg to stand on,” Kate said drily.
“Oh dear,” Jane whispered in embarrassment.
Hook, Line, and Garter (Bitches and Queens) Page 16