Stonehenge

by Lisa Graves

  She put her hand on my head. “Nope. You’re fine.” Another dirty look later, “Now help Nicholas clean while I go get stuff for the party.” Meredith grabbed her purse and headed out the door. I’m not sure I’d ever seen her this happy.

  I looked at Nicholas. “Sure, play on my mom’s weaknesses why don’t you?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, hoe?”

  “Sure you don’t.” I threw a roll of paper towels at him. “You better start cleaning.”

  I did as little as possible to prepare for the travesty that was about to take place at my house. I was the quiet one. The shy one. Why on earth was Nicholas doing this to me? I hid in my closet, and was reading by flashlight when Nicholas and Meredith came in to collect me.

  “It’s time for dinner,” she said.

  “Yeah, hoe. People will be getting here soon.”

  Meredith looked at me. “You better change before you come down, Lilly.”

  “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

  “Lilly,” she said as though I was missing something. “It’s New Year’s Eve. You should look nice.”

  Nicholas nodded.

  “For midnight,” she whispered at me.

  So not cool! Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough. Or rather, it was coming too fast. I had less than five hours to figure out a good way to avoid a new year’s kiss. And by the way Nicholas and Meredith were acting, they were in cahoots to make sure I failed in my quest.

  Dinner was quick and uneventful. We didn’t even have the dishes in the dishwasher when the first people started to arrive. I was curious to see if Charlotte was going to make an appearance. If I’d have thought of it sooner, I should have invited her. She would definitely be on my side of the war. It would just be an awkward alliance.

  Nicholas went to open the door for our guests, and Meredith ran in to turn on some tunes. She was enjoying this way too much.

  Jake, Drew, and Patrick arrived first. Annette, Ryanne, Randi, and Nessa came in the door just minutes later. And before eight, Marty, Kristin, Adrienne, Rose, and Pete had appeared. Nicholas and Meredith had achieved a decent turn out. Meredith kept on top of drinks and snacks, and Nicholas visited. I did my best to stay out of sight. When Meredith had to make a run to the store for more soda at eleven, I snuck out.

  I decided to go and hide in Nicholas’s cellar. It may be cold there, but a party was a billion times worse than dealing with sub-optimal temperatures. Socializing, especially with a big group, really wasn’t my thing. At least I had my blanket.

  I lay curled up in the back of the cellar. One candle lit for light, I waited for midnight to come. I was sure most people would bail once the ball fell, and if I waited long enough, perhaps Nicholas wouldn’t even try for a kiss.

  It was 11:37 when I heard the big wooden door of the cellar creak open.

  Chapter 14. Complications

  “Hoe. Are you in here?”

  I hurried and blew out the candle.

  “Nice try, Lil. I know it’s you.”

  “You know nothing of the sort.”

  He felt his way through the dark and sat down beside me. “Oh really?” He captured me in one of his big bear hugs.

  “Yes, really.” Damn it. I was trapped. With my blanket wrapped around me, and Nicholas around my blanket, I couldn’t even move my arms.

  He laughed. The sound of it was deeper than I remembered. “I know you so well.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked, a little snippy.

  “I knew you’d bail from the party as soon as you could.”

  “Then why did you insist on having one?”

  A sort of smugness seemed to enter his voice. “So we could be alone.” He kept me wrapped in his arms. His face was so close to mine, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my skin.

  “Damn it.”

  “Janet,” he said.

  “So you knew I’d come hide out in your cellar?”

  “Yep.” His breath was on my neck now. He was positioning himself for a kiss and I had no where to go.

  Maybe I could talk my way out of it. “So, we’re alone. What did you want to talk about?”

  The warmth of his breath was in my ear. Then he kissed my neck. “I don’t want to talk, Lilly.” His deep whispers were seductive. His lips traced my jaw.

  “Nicholas,” I pleaded.

  He wasn’t the least bit phased. He rolled me onto my back. One hand held behind my neck.

  I wiggled my arms out of the straight jacket blanket. I tried to push against his chest, but Nicholas was just so much bigger than me. I tried to fight it, but the shear intensity of the moment was hard to resist.

  “It’s just a little new year’s kiss, Lilly.” It was then that his lips found mine. The soft yet strong texture of his mouth, his passion trying to will my tongue to dance with his, I couldn’t help it. I slipped.

  I don’t know why I did it, but I kissed him back.

  He pressed his body onto mine. The dust, the smoke from the blown out candle, and the smell of Nicholas’s cologne circled around us in the darkness of this secret place.

  I paused the kissing to breath and he didn’t skip a beat. He moved to my ear, down my neck, and then back up the other side. It felt great. Not only the way his lips danced on my skin, but the sensation of his shaggy hair tickling me as he moved. The unexpected make-out session continued on until the alarm on my phone went of declaring it to be midnight.

  Nicholas gave me a soft little peck on my lips. “Happy New Year, hoe.”

  Urgh! I did feel like a hoe. A real one. Not the term of endearment that Nicholas referred to me as.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m a hoe.”

  “Kissing me doesn’t make you a hoe.”

  Actually, it kinda did.

  Nicholas got to his feet and picked me up in his arms.

  “What the…”

  “We should get back to your party. Before people realize we’re both gone, and really think you are a hoe,” he teased.

  “Great.”

  “I’m kidding, Lil.”

  I sighed. I wasn’t.

  I wouldn’t let Nicholas carry me past the cover of trees. I insisted on walking, just in case anyone was watching. He insisted on holding my hand.

  “How about you let me go around and come in the back door, and you can go in the front door?”

  “Lilly!”

  “Please?” I begged.

  “Fine.”

  But even that little diversion didn’t fool Meredith. I didn’t even have the back door closed when she asked, “So where have you been, Lilly?”

  “I needed some fresh air.”

  “Oh really?” She eyed Nicholas coming in the front door.

  He smiled at me as he walked into the living room with our friends.

  “Maybe you should go and see if anyone will give you a new year’s kiss.”

  I didn’t even answer. I just shook my head as I walked in to supervise everyone leaving.

  It was almost one in the morning before we got Jake and Drew to leave. I think Drew was hoping for a New Year’s kiss as well, but one dirty little secret was more than enough for me.

  As Drew and Jake put on their jackets, Drew noticed that Nicholas wasn’t getting ready to leave. Looking at Nicholas he asked, “Aren’t you going home?”

  Nicholas smiled at Drew. “Nope. I’m sleeping here tonight.”

  Drew looked at me, shocked. “Your mom’s okay with that?”

  Super. Nicholas was trying to make me scandalous. I sighed. “He lives down the street.” I gave Nicholas a dirty look. “P.S. You’re sleeping on the couch.”

  Now it was Nicholas’s turn to sigh.

  Drew managed to shoot him one more dirty look anyway before the door closed behind him.

  Nicholas and I were alone, cleaning up.

  “What is this couch business?” he asked me.

  “It’s your bed for the night.”

  “Why can
’t I snuggle with you?”

  “Because they don’t make metal chastity belts anymore and you can’t be trusted.”

  “I can be trusted not to do that,” he said. “Unless you want to.”

  “No thanks.”

  “Aren’t you just a little bit tempted?” He made a silly seductive face at me.

  “Not even a little.”

  “Are you sure? I won’t be back until Easter. We can really make this night memorable.”

  “Well, this couch is comfy. Hopefully it will be memorable for you.” I cleared off the couch and tossed him a blanket. “Good night, Nicholas.”

  His face acknowledged defeat. “Night, hoe.”

  The first night of the year wasn’t one of rest, for me at least. Between all of the thoughts of guilt from kissing Nicholas and the anxiety of Elliott being mad at me next time I saw him, I tossed and turned well into the early morning. It wasn’t until the sun was starting to lighten the edges of the sky that my eyes finally succumbed to the exhaustion I felt. Not an hour after achieving the amazing feat of sleep, I was woken up by someone nudging me.

  I blinked my eyes open a few times, trying to make out a shape in the shadows of my room. “Eh…”

  “Morning, hoe.”

  “Eh…” I repeated and rolled over to go back to bed.

  Nicholas lay down next to me and spooned me in his arms. I didn’t have the energy to fight him off this early.

  “I have to go, Lil. I need to be at the airport in an hour.”

  “Happy New Year…. Nitch-o-las.” I yawned as I spoke. “Write me….”

  “I already did,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Huh…”

  He laughed. “I’ll just put in on your bed stand, hoe.”

  “Oh-kay…” I snuggled deeper into my bed.

  He hugged me, holding me tight. “I love you, Lilly.”

  “Hmmm…”

  Nicholas gave me a tender, simple kiss on the cheek. I only half realized that he left. I was out cold.

  When I woke it was late afternoon. I rolled over to see Meredith waiting for me.

  “Morning, Sunshine.”

  What did she want? I glared at her through my sleepy-bug eyes.

  “So…how did you like the party?”

  Ah, gossip.

  “Did all your friends have fun?”

  “I thought you knew those people?” I didn’t invite anybody.

  “Lilly. I know you know them.” She was looking at me funny. Funnier than normal. “So…”

  “What is it, mom?”

  “Did you get a new years kiss?”

  I rolled over. My back was facing her.

  “Is that why Nicholas left you a flower to go with his letter?”

  I sat up like a lightning bolt. Did he mention something about a letter? Maybe. I looked around for it. Had she read it already?

  There was a white gardenia on my bed stand. An empty envelope lay beside it. “Where is the letter, mom?”

  “Is it a letter then?” She held up a piece of paper.

  My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?” I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

  Meredith looked a little put out. “I don’t know. You tell me.” She waved the paper around. “It’s blank.”

  Whew! Relief washed over me. I tried to hold back but couldn’t. I cracked a smile.

  “Is this how he normally lets you know how he feels?”

  “Yep. You know how Nicholas has a hard time with words.” Ha. Ha.

  It was her turn to glare. “Better come down and get something to eat.” She handed me the blank sheet of paper.

  “Kay. I’ll be down in a sec.” I watched her head down the hall.

  Looking over the paper, I was thrilled that he had coded it. I wouldn’t be able to reveal the message until later. I refolded the note and placed it back in its envelope by the flower. I was sure Meredith would try to peak at it at least once more today, so it was safer to just leave it laying out and wordless for the moment.

  I’d read it later.

  It was storming again. But this time it wasn’t peaceful, pretty snow. The wind howled as it blew massive snowflakes around outside. Inside, I was snuggled up in my blanket and lighting a wick. By the light of a wax candle just after two in the morning, I sat on my bed and carefully let the candle do its magic with the lemon juice on the letter. One by one, the words would appear. My insides twisted with guilt as I read my message.

  Lilly,

  It’s New Years Day and early. You just went to bed and I’m stuck on the couch. But it doesn’t matter because I am the happiest person on the planet. I love you. I love kissing you. It sucks that I have to go home later today. :( So, just to clarify, I’m your boyfriend now, right? Remember to wear the necklace. And write me as soon as you can.

  I love you hoe.

  -Nicholas

  Yep. I was going to be sick. As if I wasn’t having enough problems in my life with the flashbacks, now I had guilt. The most evil emotion of them all. Self inflicted and dangerous. I threw up in my garbage.

  As I wiped the sick off my face and tied up the baggie liner to run my vomit out so I wouldn’t have to smell my half digested taco-salad, a tattered red journal caught my eye. The corner of it was poking out of my secret hiding spot under my bed stand. I removed it from the esoteric space and thumbed through the pages. The very first time I’d written to Elliott caught my attention and brought on a fresh new wave of guilt.

  I read the words and started to cry. I shouldn’t have kissed Nicholas.

  What do I know about Elliott?

  I first saw him outside of his house, but did he actually say he lived there?

  Why is he “electric”?

  Why did he say he gave me my ring?

  Tears began to stream down my cheeks and I wanted nothing more than to project to Elliott. To be wherever he was. To be with him.

  I blew out the candle. The smokey vapors reminded me of the cellar. A whole new round of guilt made me cry so hard I could barely breath. I wasn’t anywhere close to calm and centered, but I tried anyway. I lay on my bed in the dark and tried to project.

  But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get myself to that mental place that would let my mind free from my body. My eyes closed tight, and I kept trying. Surprisingly I ended up falling asleep.

  I opened my eyes to a strange and beautiful sight. I was in Elliott’s arms swimming in the underground lake in Napoli. The warm water rushed my skin as he held me close and kissed me.

  I hadn’t dreamed of my past Italian life in so long. The flicker of the torches on the wall lit up the cave, as I watched a moment that I couldn’t consciously remember replay before me.

  “Per favore? (Please?),” I asked Elliott.

  “Non penso che lo abbia gradetto. (I don’t think I’d like it.)”

  “Proverete appena? (Will you just try?)” I puckered up. “Per me? (For me?)”

  He twirled me around, letting the warm water ripple around us. “Siete abbastanza irresistibile. (You are pretty irresistible.)”

  I tightened my arms around his neck, pulling my body closer to his. I loved the smell of the water on his skin. “E mai la cosa piu stupefacente. (It is the most amazing thing ever.) Giuro che lo amerete. (I swear you will love it.)”

  “Suona pericoloso, Lillianna. (It sounds dangerous, Lillianna.) Siete positivo? (Are you sure?) Che cosa se non possiamo ottenere indietro ai nostri corpi? (What if we can’t get back to our bodies?)”

  How funny. This must have been when I was teaching Elliott how to project. It’s ironic how the tables have turned. Not that long ago, he was teaching me.

  “E realmente duro da rimanere dal vostro corpo. (It’s actually hard to stay out of your body.) Ottenere posteriore non e il problema. (Getting back is not the problem.)”

  “Ancora non so. (I still don’t know.) He shook his head.

  I kissed from his ear, down his neck. “Per favore,” I whispered.

  I could feel him giving in.<
br />
  I kept kissing his neck. “Adesso? (Now?)”

  “Perche siete in modo da ossessionato con questo? (Why are you so obsessed with this?)”

  “Penso se possiamo acquistare padronanza dell proiezione, e della nostra mente, quello…. (I think if we can master projecting, and our mind, that…)”

  “Che cosa? (What?)”

  “Penso che li aiuti ad essere insieme. (I think it will help us be together.)”

  Elliott’s emerald eyes sparkled in the firelight. His lips found mine and his strong muscular hands held my face captive and close. My legs hooked up around his body as he walked us out of the water into the shallow shore. He unhooked my legs and swung me up into his arms just before laying me down on the ground, himself positioned above me. I looked up and brushed his wet chocolate hair from his face. My dress clung to my body, as did Elliott. His mouth kissed down my neck.

  A sigh of utter happiness escaped my lips.

  “Dicordo. Lo Provero. (Alright. I’ll try it.)” He whispered to my heart.

  I closed my eyes, and when I opened them the scene was gone. I was back in my bed and craving Elliott more than ever. The happy feelings of the memory still filled my soul, so I lay back once more and tried to project.

  For the first time in weeks, it worked.

  Chapter 15. The Plan

  Elliott was waiting for me. This I expected. To my surprise, so was Oliver.

  “Lilly!” Elliott and I ran to meet each other. I jumped, hugging my arms around his neck. He swung me around as his lips found mine.

  “Elliott! I’ve missed you so much!”

  Oliver came over, his arms held wide open. He winked. “My turn?”

  I bit my lip and shook my head no.

  “Oliver!”

  “Well, I think I at least deserve a kiss, Elliott,” he raised his eyebrows suggestively at me. “I did figure out what she has to do to make the jump.”

  “Sorry, but you’re not my type,” Elliott responded.

  “What? Not you! Lilly.”

  “Serious?” I asked.

  Oliver puckered up in my direction.

  “Here,” I blew a kiss at him. “Does that count?”

  Elliott threw something at him. “Yes, that should be more than enough.”

  We all laughed as we found comfortable places to sit around the massive stones. It was always just a little misty here. And dewy too. The combination of the two, in addition to the sunlight created an ephemeral, mystical atmosphere. The dew drops would sparkle and the damp scent of a water-saturated world filled my senses. The energy of Stonehenge was always amazing.