Stonehenge

by Lisa Graves

  Elliott and I sat holding hands. Oliver sat across from us. There was an odd, uncomfortable feeling in the air. It seemed to be coming from Elliott. Oliver just oozed ease and confidence.

  “So, hot stuff,” Oliver looked at me.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Me?” The reaction I was getting from the opposite sex these days was unwarranted and absurd. Besides the fact that I didn’t get it. I really didn’t feel like anything special, or pretty. I just don’t know.

  “I sure as hell ain’t talking to Elliott.”

  “Hey,” Elliott said.

  “Dude, you’re alright looking, I guess? But you’re a dude.” Oliver’s eyebrow raised in my direction. “Lilly on the other hand,” he then growled seductively.

  I giggled away his advances. “So what’s up?”

  “I know how you can make the jump.” Yep. Oliver sounded a little smug.

  Elliott got oddly still. For some reason he was really uncomfortable.

  I looked at him. “What’s the matter?”

  Elliott shrugged and his eyes wandered away from mine.

  Oliver laughed. “He just doesn’t like what you have to do.”

  Now it was my turn to get uncomfortable. “What do I have to do?”

  “You need to get really close to someone on the physical realm.”

  My eyes looked at Oliver’s. I shook my head that I didn’t understand.

  He growled, and made a seductive face as he said, “Close, being the key word.”

  I just looked from Oliver to Elliott, hoping for more of an explanation.

  Elliott couldn’t seem to speak. He just quietly held my hand.

  “I’d totally be happy to let you get close to me if I hadn’t made the jump already.” Oliver puckered up in my direction to help clarify what kind of close he meant.

  “You want me to kiss someone?” The shock of what he was saying was all over my face. Or maybe it was guilt?

  “You can practice on me.”

  “She can practice on me, Oliver.”

  “Sheesh! Just trying to help a friend out.”

  I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Who?” escaped my lips before I realized what I’d said. I already knew the who.

  Elliott was once again silent. I could feel the aching of his soul as Oliver said Nicholas’s name.

  “Hold on one second. How will me kissing Nicholas help me project to be with Elliott?” One, that didn’t make any sense. Two, mission accomplished.

  “You have to do more than kiss him.”

  I looked at Oliver. “Excuse me?”

  “She doesn’t have to do that Oliver.”

  “Couldn’t hurt.”

  “Back up you two. How the hell does me kissing someone else help?”

  “You’re soul mates with Elliott.” Oliver couldn’t help but shake his head and sigh. He couldn’t hide that he thought he was the better option. “Your soul wants to be with Elliott. Right now your mind and body want that also.”

  “Yep. You got that right.”

  “And that’s the problem.”

  I shook my head. “How is that a problem?”

  “You have no one, there is nothing, holding you back. Holding your mind and body back long enough to allow the disconnect that gets you to Atlantis.”

  I was trying to process what Oliver was saying in my head. I guess on some level it made sense. “How did Elliott make it then?”

  “I had you, Miele. We were both on the physical realm. I held on to you.”

  “Didn’t I hold on to you?”

  “No.” Elliott shook his head. “Even on that first jump, you were more than ready and willing to be in Atlantis. To see what the mind can do. You let go too quickly.”

  “So now I have to hold on to Nicholas?” My tone was flat.

  Oliver finger pistoled me. “Yep.”

  I looked at Elliott.

  He nodded his head, and it looked like it caused him physical pain.

  And I thought things were complicated before. They both were watching my reaction. I took a deep breath in then asked, “What exactly do I have to do?”

  Oliver started to undo his button-up shirt. “I’ll show you.”

  Elliott was pissed. “Oliver!”

  Oliver stopped undressing. “Some people are visual, Elliott.” He shrugged it off, but kept his top three buttons undone.

  “I don’t see how this is helping,” I commented.

  Elliott kissed my cheek. “I don’t like the idea.”

  “But?” I asked.

  “But I don’t like the idea of losing you again, even more.”

  “I don’t like that idea either.”

  “Me either,” Oliver interrupted. “You’re pretty hot.”

  I rolled my eyes and leaned back on one of the massive stones. “So, what do I have to do, Oliver, and how do you know this will work?”

  He sat down as close to me as Elliott would allow. “I already told you. You have to get close to someone.” Oliver raised his eyebrows as he spoke.

  “And what does that mean?”

  “It means you have to let someone in, Lilly. You have to let someone into your heart. You have to love someone on the physical realm so much that that love will hold you back.”

  I sighed. “So it is more than kissing.”

  “Yep.”

  Elliott sighed too.

  Oliver elaborated. “It doesn’t have to be love-making, but it does have to be love.” He growled.

  I looked at Elliott. “Do you think this will work?”

  “Unfortunately, I do.”

  I thought about it for a second. I was being told by my true love to give my heart to someone else. To love someone else. To kiss someone else. I looked over at Oliver, who was enjoying this way too much by the look on his face, and wondered if somehow he were working for Nicholas. I knew he wasn’t, but it was a little too convenient.

  Then another question occurred to me. “How long will this take?”

  Elliott answered. “It depends on you, mia amore.”

  “And you really want me to date Nicholas?”

  Both of them answered, “Yes.”

  Oliver was smiling. Elliott looked like he was in agony, like he was fighting back tears.

  “I don’t know if I can do it, Elliott.”

  My response brought a smile to Elliott’s face. I loved that smile.

  “Just think about it, Miele. We’ve thought of everything, analyzed every angle. I think this will work, if you can do it.”

  “It wouldn’t be fair to Nicholas.” There was already guilt in my voice.

  “So he’s weaseled himself in already, huh?” Oliver questioned. “He must be good. I should take lessons.”

  Elliott answered me, “In some ways yes, and in some ways no.”

  I had no idea what Elliott was talking about. “Huh?”

  “It wouldn’t be fair to lead him on, but for this to work you have to really love him.”

  Is that even possible? I raised an eyebrow at Elliott. It still sounded cruel to me. “I don’t know.”

  “Look at it this way, hot stuff. You both would be getting what you want.”

  “How’s that?”

  “From what Elliott’s told me about Nicholas, it sounds like he wants you more than I do. He would be getting what he wants, and you would be getting into Atlantis. Win-win.”

  “There is one more thing.” Elliott spoke softly.

  I didn’t like his tone. It didn’t sound right. “What?”

  “We wouldn’t be able to see each other very often. Maybe not at all. I don’t think seeing me will help your heart fall for Nicholas. ”

  I looked at Elliott, not knowing what to say.

  Oliver butted in. “However, you can see me as often as you want.”

  I looked over at Elliott’s buzzed-headed friend. “Thanks for all this Oliver, but could I please have a minute alone with Elliott.”

  “Can I get a thank you kiss?”

 
“No.”

  “If it helps, you can pretend you’re practicing on Nicholas,” he teased.

  “Bye, Oliver,” I said.

  Oliver got up and started to walk away. “Fine. Ciao.”

  And we were alone.

  I moved to lay on top of Elliott. My hands helped hold up my chin as I watched his face. As I watched his eyes. We were both quiet for a moment, thinking.

  “What?” he asked me.

  “Are you sure there isn’t another way?”

  He smiled at my reluctance. “I wish there was,” he paused. “More than anything. But it makes sense. It is the common denominator to everyone that’s gotten into Atlantis. Everyone had something that held them back. Most of us just didn’t realize it at the time. We got lucky.”

  “And I didn’t.”

  “This time will be different. I can feel it in my soul. Unfortunately, I have to share you for a while.” He grimaced. “I guess eternity with the one you love has a price. I just worry-”

  “About what?”

  Elliott kissed my chin. “I worry that once Nicholas has a hold on you, you won’t want to let go of him. You might not want to be with me anymore.”

  “I love you.”

  “I know. But for this to work, you are going to have to love him too.”

  This sounded impossible.

  “I think it’s best if we only communicate through the camera for a while.”

  “But..”

  “And not often. Monthly maybe.”

  My heart, the heart that was totally and completely Elliott’s, felt heavy. Like every beat was painful.

  “But I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you more, Miele.”

  I could feel goodbye coming. My heart started to race and my mind went blank as I tried to think of some reason to stay. Anything to hold off being away from him. Elliott rolled me onto my back, holding his body close to mine, he gave me a goodbye kiss.

  This kiss was bittersweet. At first his hands held my face, my neck, as he kissed me. This kiss touched my soul. Every fiber of my being was alive. My body arched as our tongues danced. His hand ran down my back holding my body close to him. The energy was climactic. I was utterly happy, and miserable at the same time. As Elliott kissed down my neck, tears started to stream from my eyes. He made his way back up and to my ear. “Don’t forget me, mia amore. I’ll be waiting,” he whispered.

  Then he was gone.

  I was alone.

  I projected back to my body. I opened my eyes to blurred vision as salty water poured down my cheeks.

  There was knock on my door.

  “Wake up, fishy!” Sophie opened the door.

  I tried to hurry and hide my face. I wasn’t quick enough.

  She came running over to me. “Are you okay, Lilly?”

  “I’m fine, Soph.”

  “Liar.”

  It was pointless. I wiped the water from my eyes with my blanket. I couldn’t even look at her.

  “What happened? What’s the matter?”

  “Just guy trouble, Soph.”

  She sat down next to me. “Oh I can totally help you then.”

  I looked at her. “You’re nine.”

  “Maybe.” She shook her head at me. “But Alena and Lucy are always complaining about their boyfriends. And somehow, just the complaining seems to help.”

  “Your friends have boyfriends?”

  “Yes.” Sophie spoke as though that was a stupid question.

  “You guys are nine,” I repeated.

  “Relax Lil, they don’t kiss them or anything. Well Lucy did kiss Darren once on the bus, but only because we dared her to.”

  “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “Not at the moment,” she shrugged.

  I couldn’t believe this. My nine year old little sister seemed to have a better grasp of relationships than me. Granted, my relationships were a tad more complex, but still.

  She sat back, making herself comfortable. “Go on. Spill.”

  “I don’t know, Soph. My problems are a little more complicated than Lucy’s.”

  “That doesn’t matter, Lil. It’s the talking that seems to help.”

  I looked at the blond mini-version of my mother as I contemplated what I was going to say. Or if I was going to say anything.

  “I promise I won’t tell anyone, Lilly. I swear.”

  I smiled. “I know you won’t.”

  “Go on then.”

  I decided to try it. I was going to tell my little sister my problems. And I was going to try to be as vague as possible and hope she wouldn’t understand any of it. I crossed my fingers as I opened my mouth to speak. “So,” I paused.

  “So…”

  “This is hard, Soph. I’m not any good at this.”

  “Maybe I can help. Why were you crying?”

  “My boyfriend kinda broke up with me.”

  “That Elliott guy?”

  Wow. She remembered. “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry. Anything I can do?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Well Lucy and Darren break up all the time. Maybe you two will get back together soon.”

  That was the plan. Together forever. All I had to do was fall in love with another man first. I sighed.

  “What? Is there more?”

  “Nicholas wants to be my boyfriend now.”

  “That’s great, Lil.”

  I frowned.

  “Or not? Is it too soon? When did you and Elliott break up?”

  “Today.”

  Sophie made a face. “Yep. That’s too soon.”

  I buried my head in a pillow and screamed. Unfortunately Meredith poked her head in my room as I did it.

  “What’s going on in here?”

  “Nothing mom. I just came to wake Lilly up for breakfast.”

  I kept my face hidden in the pillow.

  “She’s having a hard time getting out of bed. We’ll be down in a sec,” she covered for me.

  There was silence for a moment before Sophie touched my shoulder.

  “She’s gone.”

  I lifted my head up. “Thanks.”

  “No prob. Do you feel better?”

  I thought about it. “Yeah. A little.”

  Sophie smiled. “Good. And I’m just down the hall if you need someone to talk to, kay?” She got up and walked towards the door.

  “Soph?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you think I should give Nicholas a chance?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Couldn’t hurt. He is cute. And he really seems to like you.”

  I thought about that for a minute. “Kay. Thanks again.”

  “No prob. We better go down for breakfast before mom comes up looking for us again.”

  “Alright.” I got up and followed her to the kitchen.

  Later that night, when everyone in the house was asleep, I was still staring at my ceiling. I’d lit a candle and was watching the shadows that the flame created dance on the walls. I’d read, and reread Nicholas’s letter over and over again, trying to decide what to do.

  Lilly,

  It’s New Years Day and early. You just went to bed and I’m stuck on the couch. But it doesn’t matter because I am the happiest person on the planet. I love you. I love kissing you. It sucks that I have to go home later today. :( So, just to clarify, I’m your boyfriend now, right? Remember to wear the necklace. And write me as soon as you can.

  I love you, hoe.

  -Nicholas

  It hurt that what I needed to do would end up hurting him. I kept trying to justify it in my head that people date and break up all the time. That’s how life is. And sometimes it sucks. But no matter how I tried to reason with myself, the fact that I was going to go into it with the intention of leaving him for another man kept gnawing on my brain.

  The opal necklace shimmered on my bed stand. It was just another reminder of Nicholas’s affection. Another reminder of my guilt. I knew what I was going to end up doing,
whether it was right or not. I wanted to be with Elliott, and if I had to date Nicholas to get there, then that was what I was going to do.

  I pulled out a piece of paper as I contemplated how to word my response. I began,

  Nicholas,

  New Year’s was surprising, but nice. And yes, I consider you my boyfriend, but I’d rather you be here to claim the title. Long distance relationships never work out, not even in the movies. I know you just left, but when are you going to come back and visit?

  I hope to hear from you or see you soon.

  Love, Lilly

  Wow. That actually turned out kinda long. I figured I should code it, but the length was making me question whether or not I wanted to work out an anagram for it again. I could always rock the lemon juice message Nicholas style. Hmmm?

  Glancing at my clock, I realized it was almost two in the morning. Yawning, I stuffed both letters under my mattress. I would figure out what to do later. Blowing out the candle, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

  Chapter 16. Black and White

  Saturday morning I woke to a flashback of the cave-in. I woke crying. That was two days in a frick’in row. I’d better not be forming a pattern.

  As I calmed myself down, I grabbed my code book and went downstairs for some breakfast. Dr Pepper and saltines sounded delightful. Maybe I would be able to find a good code to send Nicholas’s letter in before school rolled around on Monday.

  I walked into the kitchen to find Meredith and her usual caffeinated self. I swear her eyes seemed to bulge a little more than they used to. It was probably a side-effect of her heightened coffee senses.

  “Morning, mom.”

  “Good morning, Lilly. Would you like me to make you some waffles?”

  I grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and a fresh pack of saltines from the pantry. “I’m good, mom. I’ve got breakfast.”

  “Lilly, that doesn’t count as breakfast.”

  Does to, I thought.

  “I’ll make you a waffle.” In no time, she had all of the ingredients out on the counter.

  I sat down and opened the crackers.

  Meredith looked at me when I opened my can of soda. “You are eating at least one waffle, Lilly.”