by Lisa Graves
“You expect me to believe that you’re crying because you’re tired? Well, I don’t. It’s not even nine.”
“It would really help if you would,” I tried to smile.
“Lil, let me help you.”
“You don’t want to hear it Nicholas. I think I’m crazy. Let’s leave it at that.” I reached forward and grabbed a handful of popcorn.
“Lilly, I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is. Let me help you,” he repeated.
The television screen was a pending blue. The wet snow beat on the windows outside. And Nicholas was staring me down. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Okay,” I paused. “But it’s complicated.”
Nicholas tucked me in under his arm and under the blanket with him. “I’ve got you, honey. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
I took a very deep breath and began. “I keep having a flashback. At least, that’s what I think it is.”
Nicholas held my hand in his. “What’s it like? What happens?”
“Well, in it I’m in some kind of underground tunnel. I think it might be a mine.”
“A mine for what?”
“Opals.” My thumb twisted my ring around so I could hide the opal Elliott gave me in my fist.
Nicholas looked at the necklace he’d given me as it hung around my neck. “Opals? Why do you think it’s a flashback? Have you ever been in an opal mine?”
“Not that I can remember.”
“Then why do you think…”
I interrupted. “You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“I know you’re crazy, and I still love you, hoe. What’s up?”
“I think it’s a memory of a past life.”
There was silence as he processed my words. Finally he responded, “Really?”
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Why do you think that?”
“It just seems so real. Like I’ve been there before. It’s like it really happened.”
“What really happened? Is there more?”
It hurt to say it. Seeing it everyday was bad enough. But to actually speak the words of what was taking place in my mind somehow made it more real. I couldn’t stand it. Another tear escaped my moisture-filled eyes. Nicholas saw it and pulled me close, as if by doing this he could protect me from whatever it was that was hurting me.
It was sweet. Too bad he couldn’t do a thing to stop them.
My voice was shaky, but I continued from the safety of his protective arms. “I’m walking with a friend in the mine. We’re heading for the exit, when it starts to cave in on us. I make it out, but he doesn’t.”
“He? Who’s he?”
“Someone I must have known in my past life, I guess.” Nicholas didn’t need to know it was Elliott I was crying over.
“Is there more?”
“No.” I paused. “But I see him die almost every day.”
“Everyday? How long has this been going on, Lil?” I pretended to think about when they began even though I knew exactly when the flashbacks started. “A few months ago.”
“You’ve been dealing with this for a few months?” Nicholas was appalled.
“Yeah, something like that.” I shrugged. It was the day after Halloween to be exact.
He held me in a tight embrace. “I wish you would have told me sooner, honey.”
“Why? It’s not like you can stop them. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“I know, but I am going to try.”
Even though I doubted Nicholas could do anything to help, since Elliott was having no luck, it was nice that he was going to try. We lay on the couch in the soft glow of the blue screen for over an hour. It felt safe there in his arms, doing nothing but listening to the sound of his heart beating. I liked it.
We ended up falling asleep like that. It was a quarter to midnight when Meredith got home and woke us up.
“Nicholas? Lilly?”
“Eh. Mom, I’m sleeping.” I snuggled in closer to him.
“Nicholas?”
“Huh? Wha ehs it?” he mumbled.
“I think you better get home soon,” Meredith said in a soft approving voice.
“What time is it?” he asked, a bit more coherently.
“It’s 11:48. Isn’t your curfew midnight?” she asked.
That woke him up. He sat up quickly, “Crap.” I could feel him carefully get off the couch and rewrap me in the blanket. Only vaguely did I hear him put on his shoes. “Thanks for waking me up, Mrs. B.”
“No problem, Nicholas. I wouldn’t want you in trouble with your dad.”
“Yeah. Too bad he’s not more like you.”
“Thanks.”
I was almost asleep when he came back to me and the couch. I felt his lips on my cheek. “Sweet dreams, Lilly. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I tried to respond, but I was already starting to drift back to sleep.
Saturday morning, bright and frick’in early, Meredith was up. I could smell her coffee brewing in the kitchen. I rolled into the couch and buried my head in the cushion and went back to sleep.
I don’t think I’d been asleep long, maybe another hour or so, when there was a knock on the door.
Who on earth is here this early? I grumbled in my head, having been woken up twice now.
I heard Meredith open the door. “Oh she’s still asleep on the couch. Come on in.”
“Thanks.”
“What have you got there, Nicholas?”
“We are going to do some homework.”
What the hell was he talking about? We didn’t even have a single class together.
“Well, you might as well wake her up.”
“Oh, I will.” The tone he used when he spoke made me nervous.
Meredith had gone back into the kitchen. I heard her spoon ding on the side of her coffee cup as she stirred it. Nicholas, on the other hand, was too quiet.
“Lilly?” his hand caressed my back.
I stayed hidden in the confines of the couch.
“Hoe. I have a surprise for you.”
Nicholas probably thought I wouldn’t be able to resist.
I didn’t move. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Then Nicholas bit me!
“What the!” I sat up.
“Oh, you’re up?”
I rubbed my shoulder. “What was that for?”
“A love bite. Grrrr.”
“Thanks?”
He sat down next to me on the couch and handed me a caramel macchiato. I noticed that he had a drink of his own along with a pile of books sitting on the coffee table.
“What’s with the books?” I whispered.
“It’s homework, hoe.”
“But we don’t-”
Nicholas gave me a look that caused me to stop mid-sentence. He then mouthed at me, “Look at the books.”
There were five library books stacked. From the side binding all I could tell was that one of them was about mining, and the one on top looked like it was about jewelry.
I shrugged in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
He placed his finger to his lips. Nicholas knew as well as me, that even though my mother didn’t mind our relationship, she was a snoop. Most likely she was trying to listen in.
“The flashbacks,” he mouthed. “We’re going to stop them.”
Intuition flashed in my eyes. “Let’s go to my room.”
“Good idea.”
Nicholas gathered the books, and I gathered the drinks. Once in my room with the door safe and secure, I asked, “What time did you get up this morning?” Somehow, he’d managed to do rough research at the library and stop off for coffee, all before ten on a Saturday.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he confessed.
“Why not?”
“I’m worried about you. I got to the library when it opened and these books looked promising.”
It was cute. He seemed to think that the answer to my mystical problem could be found in a book. I more than had my doubts. But I couldn’t argue. A
t least he was doing something to help.
I took the book about gemstones off the top and flipped through it. “How is this going to help?”
“You said opals are in the flashback. Maybe it says something in that section that will help.”
I took a drink. “Alright. I’ll see if there’s anything. What are you going to do?”
“I’ll go through the book on mining. Who knows. We might get lucky.”
We both sat on my bed, propped up with our backs to the wall reading. Some of the information was interesting, but I didn’t come across anything that looked like it might help.
“You kids hungry?” Meredith poked her head in around noon. She did a double take when she saw we were actually studying. I bet she had hoped to catch us kissing. Dashing those hopes, made my day.
“Sure, mom. What’s for lunch?”
“Grilled cheese. Nothing fancy.”
“Sounds good to me. I can’t stare at this book any longer.”
“I could use a break too, Mrs B.”
“What are you two studying again?”
Nicholas and I looked at each other. “History?” I said uncertainly.
“Yeah. It’s for history.”
“Uh-huh?” She looked at us again, now uncertain if we were really studying as she scanned the room hoping to find evidence otherwise. There was a look of disappointment in her eyes. “Well, lunch is ready.”
We got up and followed her to the kitchen.
“What are you two doing tonight?” Meredith asked as I popped the last bite of my sandwich in to my mouth.
“Probably hanging out here. I dunno.”
Nicholas looked at me as he spoke. “I was actually hoping we could hang out at my house tonight.”
“What about your dad?” Meredith and I asked in unison. It was ironic that we were worried for completely different reasons. She was worried Louis might be there, and I was worried he might not.
“He has to go out of town for business. Actually, I was supposed to ask if I could sleep on your couch while he’s gone, Mrs B. He’s worried I might get into trouble,” he winked.
This news made my mother’s day. “Of course you can sleep here.”
“On the couch,” I added.
“Lilly.”
“Mom.” My blue eyes were an icy stare. “Shouldn’t you be worried about our crazy teenage hormones getting the better of us or something?”
“I’m not worried about Nicholas.”
“Thanks, Mrs B.”
“Besides, I don’t think you’ve ever been a teenager, Lilly. I’d swear you were older than your grandmother if it weren’t impossible.”
Duh. Nuh. Nuh. Nuh. Duh. Nuh. Nuh. Nuh. The Twilight Zone tune played out in my head. It was late and forced, but I managed a laugh. “I don’t know what you mean.”
She looked at Nicholas. “What are you two going to do? Do you need me to make dinner?”
“Thanks, but I’m making spaghetti and breadsticks for dinner. I was thinking we could snuggle and watch a flick too.” He winked at me.
“I don’t recall agreeing to this?”
Meredith got up, clearing the plates and ignoring me. “You two have a fun tonight. Don’t worry about curfew, Lil.”
“Mom!”
“Lilly!” she mocked me.
“Why don’t you just hand Nicholas a box of condoms while you’re at it.”
“Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic. Being you, I doubt anything like that is going on. And again, being you, if it were, you’d already have bought them.”
There was no right way to respond to that.
I made a dramatic exit to the living room and flipped through the television channels as I huffed. I heard Nicholas stifle a laugh before following me, plopping down by my side.
“So what time you coming over tonight?” he asked.
I gave a resigned sigh. “How’s six?”
“Perfect,” he got up to leave.
“And where are you going?”
“To get ready.”
“It takes you five hours to make spaghetti?”
Nicholas smiled and winked at me as he walked towards the door. “Nope.”
FINALLY, six o’clock came. I walked up his porch and knocked on his door. Each step I took toward the door felt like walking towards the end of a plank. Any second I was going to splash into the water below. Five hours was a long time. There was no telling what kind of trap I was walking into.
Nicholas opened the door. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
So this was how it was going to go.
“Hey, hoe.”
“Hey.”
I tried to act grateful. It wasn’t his fault I’d already found my true love. If I didn’t have Elliott, which technically I didn’t have him at the moment, then Nicholas would be the perfect guy. He was sweet, caring, considerate, and somehow had managed to get very good looking when I wasn’t paying attention. He handed me the flowers. I gave them a good sniff as I walked in and sat down at the kitchen table.
“Dinner smells good.” The garlic bread smelled delicious.
“It’s just about done. Do you want to pick out a movie?”
“I get to pick?”
“Kinda. You have a few choices. They’re on the coffee table.”
I went to check out my selection: Dirty Dancing, A Walk In The Clouds, and Pride and Prejudice. Yep. He was trying to butter me up.
He poked his head around the corner as I looked at the covers. “So, which would you like to watch?”
“Big on the chick flicks, huh?”
He laughed as he went back to making the noodles. “Just for you, hoe.”
I put Dirty Dancing into the player, and replaced the packaging so the movies all lay on the table as before. I wanted to see if he would guess right.
I walked back into the kitchen. Nicholas was dishing us each a plate of spaghetti. “Will you please take the breadsticks out of the oven, honey?”
“Sure.”
“The oven mitt is in the top drawer.”
When I opened the oven, the smell of garlic filled the kitchen. “Are you worried about vampires?” I teased, but they did smell good.
“No. Just making sure they’re delicious. Will you grab us each a few?” He carried our plates into the living room. I followed with the breadsticks. “Didn’t you pick a flick?”
I sat down on the blue couch. “Maybe.”
He set our plates down.
“You have to guess which one I picked.”
“What do I get if I guess right?”
I should have guessed he would turn this into a wager. “How about a kiss?”
He looked stunned. “You’re offering a kiss? You must not think I’ll get it right.”
I was almost positive he would guess Pride and Prejudice, since I read it at least annually, sometimes more. He walked back into the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He reappeared with drinks. “Dr Pepper?”
“Thanks.”
He sat down and took a bite.
“Are you going to guess or not?”
“Anxious for the kissing to commence?”
“You wish.”
“Yes. Yes I do.” He gave me a sideways glance as he decided on his pick.
“So… which one are we watching?”
He dramatically swept his finger back and forth over the tops of the movies. “I think you want to watch…” his hand lowered, but continued to move over all of the choices. Finally it landed on Dirty Dancing.
My heart thumped. I’m sure it was obvious by the look on my face that he had won. He opened the case to verify the disk wasn’t there. “Oh yeah! Hey, Lil?”
I took a big bite of the garlicky breadstick. “Hey.”
“I believe you owe me something.”
“Can’t you see I’m eating.”
Nicholas puckered up playfully. Making kiss smooching noises into the air.
“Alright.”
He set down his drink. Turning towards me, he placed his hand behind my neck. He was cautious as he drew closer, gauging my reaction. Our faces grazed one anothers. He didn’t go straight in for the kiss. Nicholas brushed his nose on my cheek, on my nose, taking me in. It was incredibly seductive.
My heart started to race in a whole new way as his lips touched mine. He wasn’t as passionate as Elliott, but his kisses had a fire in them. There was a desire within Nicholas that came out when he kissed me. It was that love, that desire, that was becoming irresistible.
He continued to kiss me, and I kissed him back. What was supposed to be a movie night was turning into a make-out session. His passion spilled over and he gently pressed his body to mine, laying me down on the couch. This kiss put the ambushed one on New Year’s to shame.
His one hand stayed behind my neck, securing my mouth to his. His other hand felt down my body, slowly, stopping when it got to my hip. When he tried to sneak it up my shirt, the kiss was over.
“What are you doing?” He could tell in my voice that I wasn’t mad. I just wasn’t ready for more than kissing.
His hand continued slowly moving up my torso. “Nothing.”
I sat up. “Let’s watch a movie Nitch-o-las. I don’t believe you won those privileges.”
“Yet.” He sighed and his hand retreated. He turned on the TV and hit play. We then watched the flick and ate.
It wasn’t late when the movie ended, but I was tired. I got up to go home.
He looked hurt. “Where are you going?”
“I’m beat. Thanks for dinner, and a flick. How about walking me home?”
“But I was hoping to sit in the hot tub with you for a while.”
“I think I’d just fall asleep.”
His face looked so sad. “Lil. My dad isn’t home. You’re wasting a valuable opportunity here.”
“How about I promise we can rock your hot tub the next time you get your dad out of the house?”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Alright. Give me one sec to lock the place up.”
“Huh?”
“I’m sleeping on your couch, remember?”
Nicholas was on the couch downstairs, falling asleep to cable TV. I was in bed, still tired, but one of the books he had left in my room had caught my eye. It was a small book of not more than fifty pages. And it was all about opals.