by Kim Redford
She’d called Kent earlier about the hippotherapy equipment she’d ordered and had sent to his house. He’d explained that it had arrived and he’d spent the morning getting stuff set up at the barn and arena. She could hardly wait to go forward with her plans now that so much was in place.
If she could just persuade her aunt to try therapeutic riding, all would be well. Surely Hedy couldn’t hold out against the lure of seeing her great-niece ride her first pony. With that in mind, Lauren picked up her cell from the center console, decided against a call that might give Hedy a chance to beg off, and sent a text.
“Cougar Ranch. Hannah here. Pony here. Where are you?”
She hoped her message would intrigue her aunt enough to hurry over to Kent’s barn.
Lauren tucked her phone into her front pocket and stepped outside, noticing that the chill of the morning had given way to a glorious afternoon with clear, blue skies and a warm breeze from the south. She shucked off her jean jacket and tossed it on the backseat, leaving her wearing a green, long-sleeve T-shirt and blue jeans.
She picked up a bag of apples from the seat, walked around the front of her SUV, and opened the passenger door. Hannah gave a big grin, rocking back and forth in her seat as if she was so anxious for her pony that she couldn’t sit still another moment. Lauren quickly unclicked the restraints, lifted Hannah out, and set her on the ground.
“Wait till Cowboy Daddy sees me!” Hannah twirled around in a circle to show off her new clothes.
Lauren heard a squeak as a gate opened and glanced over to see Kent walking out of the barn dressed in crisp jeans and snap shirt.
“Who’s that over there?” he called, grinning at Hannah.
“It’s me, Cowboy Daddy!” She twirled faster. “I bet you can’t tell it’s Hannah!”
He chuckled as he walked over to her and stood with his hands on his hips as he surveyed her. “Land’s sake, can this cowgirl be our Hannah?”
“Yes!” She threw out her arms, still twirling, and toppled toward him, windmilling her arms to keep from falling over.
He grabbed her, lifted her into the air, spun her around, and set her safely on the ground. “Well, so it is. You look pretty as a picture.”
“Thank you.” Hannah put her hands on her hips, mimicking his earlier stance, and stood as tall as possible. “I brought Spot apples for a treat. Mommy said best not start him on sugar, but I don’t know—”
“Good choice.”
Lauren hung back and watched in delight as her once reticent daughter bloomed like a flower in sunshine. Hannah looked adorable, too, in a pink cowgirl hat, blue pearl-snap shirt with a rose pattern, pink belt with a rhinestone buckle, blue jeans, and pink cowgirl boots. For a finishing touch, Hannah had insisted on adding her pink tutu to create the perfect look.
Lauren had taken photos, sent them to her parents, and received excited responses. If they hadn’t been planning on coming to Wildcat Bluff, she figured now they couldn’t resist the temptation. To encourage Hedy, she’d copied her with photos, too. Now she just needed to wait and see if the plan for her aunt came together as perfectly as Hannah’s outfit.
When Kent glanced over, she held up the bag of apples so he’d know she was carrying them to the barn.
“Mornin’.” He gave a big grin, revealing dimples, with a gleam in his hazel eyes.
“Hey there.” She returned his smile, knowing she had a certain gleam in her own eyes, too. “Looks like you and Billye Jo are already way down the line in getting everything set up.”
“We couldn’t resist, so it’s not our fault if we’re getting too far ahead of you.”
“No problem. I’m excited, too.”
“Good.” He glanced beyond her shoulder as if searching for something. “Hedy coming?”
“I hope so. I texted her that we are all here waiting for her.”
“Best you can do. She’ll come around, if I don’t miss my guess.”
“I hope so.”
“Mommy! Cowboy Daddy!” Hannah jumped up and down. “Pony. Pony. Pony.”
“Let’s go.” Kent snagged her small hand and headed for the barn.
Lauren followed, swinging the bag of apples as she watched her two loved ones go through the barn gate together. She could still hardly believe how quickly and wonderfully her life had changed since she’d returned to her roots. Now she’d simply enjoy going forward as she contributed to the community in her own small way.
Inside the shady barn, Billye Jo waved from where she stood holding the lead on Spot’s halter. Lauren stopped beside Kent, and he put an arm around her waist, tugging her close. She caught the scent of sage and sweetgrass, so he must have smudged the barn with the dried herbs she’d left him with per Morning Glory’s instructions.
Together, they watched Hannah race down the center aisle and throw her short arms around Spot’s neck.
“Hey there, cowgirl,” Billye Jo said with a teasing lilt to her voice. “Are you ready to ride this wild, cantankerous brute of a horse?”
Hannah quickly stepped back and put her hands on her hips. “Spot is the very best pony in the whole, wide world.” She leaned over and gave Spot a loud kiss on her long nose. “And Spot gets an apple to prove it.”
Billye Jo chuckled as she glanced at Lauren. “Looks to me like you’ve got the makings of a fine cowgirl here.”
“Don’t you know it,” Kent agreed, taking the bag of apples from Lauren’s hand. He set the sack in a bin on the wall, selected an apple, and carried it to Hannah. “When you give this apple to Spot, hold out your hand and let the apple lie flat on your palm.” He demonstrated with the apple on his own palm as he held out his hand to her.
“Thanks!” She grabbed the apple with a big grin. “You’re the very best Cowboy Daddy in the whole, wide world.” She whirled around and held the apple out to Spot.
Spot gave an excited whinny and plucked the apple from Hannah’s hand in one big bite. Spot promptly set to chewing with a contented look on her face.
“Spot likes apples!” Hannah clapped her hands together in delight.
“That’s a particularly sweet one since you held it,” Kent said.
Billye Jo laughed out loud as she glanced from Kent to Lauren. “No doubt about it, she’s got Kent Duval wrapped around her little finger.”
Kent joined her laughter. “Yeah. Just like her mom.”
Lauren chuckled, too, as she leaned into Kent’s warmth and strength, inhaling the familiar, pleasant aroma of hay and oats and horses. If she hadn’t already been convinced that she’d come home, now she knew it for an out-and-out fact.
“Hannah’s gonna make a real fine cowgirl,” Billye Jo said.
“I’m so happy for her,” Lauren agreed as she focused on Billye Jo. “As much as I like seeing Spot, I hope there’s another horse here today that I’ll get to meet.”
Billye Jo grinned, glancing toward the back gate. “Chancy Boy is out in the arena just waiting for the opportunity to strut his stuff.”
“Let’s go see him,” Lauren said.
“Hannah, why don’t you ride Spot out to the arena.” Kent easily picked her up, set her in the saddle, took the lead rope from Billye Jo, and led Hannah through the back gate.
“I always took him for a family man,” Billye Jo said quietly. “He just needed the right gal, didn’t he?”
“And the right daughter,” Lauren agreed on a sigh of happiness.
“Come on. I want you to see what we’ve done. Kent already had a mounting ramp, but we adjusted it to better suit challenged riders.”
“I’m anxious to get going.” Lauren squeezed Billye Jo’s strong shoulder. “I want to thank you again for making this possible.”
“You’re welcome. But don’t ever think I’m not getting as much out of this as you are, because it’s important to me, too.” Billye Jo grinned, nodding tow
ard the arena.
Lauren turned to accompany her when she heard a sound at the other end of the barn. She glanced back and was thrilled to see Hedy in her wheelchair barreling toward them.
“You may not be getting me up on the back of a horse, but I’m sure as shootin’ gonna see my great-niece ride her pony.”
“Aunt Hedy!” Lauren felt her heart swell with happiness. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“If that pony hadn’t lured me here, Hannah’s duded-up outfit was sure to do the trick. Right?”
“Yep.” Lauren was happy to agree, not caring one bit that her aunt had seen right through her plan.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” Hedy raced right by them, through the gate, and stopped out by the arena.
Lauren walked outside, feeling the sunshine on her face and hearing sparrows chirping in the trees. She was very thankful for this first big step in returning Hedy to her former sassy self.
“Aunt Hedy!” Hannah called from the back of Spot. “Look at me. I’m a cowgirl!”
“Yes, you surely are,” Hedy said in a choked voice. “And as fine a looking cowgirl as I ever saw.”
“While you’re here,” Billye Jo said, gesturing toward the arena. “Why don’t you meet Chancy Boy.”
“Oh my, he’s a beauty,” Hedy said in a voice that held nothing but absolute awe as she moved closer to the arena.
Lauren walked over, stopped beside her aunt, and gazed at the proud palomino with a deep, rich golden coat and full, white mane. Lauren was pleased that Chancy Boy already wore the therapeutic riding fleece bareback pad she’d selected from an online catalog. She preferred this particular riding pad because it had natural lambskin fleece for both horse and rider. The large padded pommel and cantle gave extra support to a rider, too. She particularly liked the fact that the pad could be washed and tumble dried.
Chancy Boy noticed all the attention, trotted across the arena, stopped at the fence, and nickered in greeting.
“Palominos are your favorite, aren’t they?” Lauren could hardly believe that piece of good luck, but she was grateful for it.
“Oh, yes,” Hedy agreed. “You didn’t tell me you’d selected a palomino. If I’d known that—”
“I didn’t know till this very moment.”
Hedy rolled closer to the fence and held out her hand toward the horse.
Chancy Boy put his head over the fence, sniffed Hedy’s hand, and then blew hard against her fingers.
Hedy stroked his long nose with a trembling hand—tentative at first, then with growing strength of purpose.
“We’ve got a ramp set up by the fence so you can motor up it and get onto Chancy Boy’s back while he’s still in the arena. Somebody will always be there to help steady you.” Kent gestured toward the sturdy-looking ramp that rose to a flat surface to accommodate a wheelchair. “If that doesn’t suit you, I’ll be happy to lift you and set you in the saddle, but it’d be just at first till you regain your riding strength.”
“I trained Chancy Boy,” Billye Jo said. “Hedy, please help us train him to be a better therapy horse. I’m strong enough to do any lifting that needs doing.”
When Hedy didn’t respond, quiet settled around the arena. Hannah sat quietly on Spot. Lauren held her breath, hoping against hope that this magnificent horse would break through her aunt’s self-imposed exile from the world of riding so that she might regain her will to live. But maybe they’d pushed Hedy too far too fast. Now all they could do was wait for her aunt’s choice.
Suddenly, as if coming to a decision, Hedy jerked her hand away from Chancy Boy, wheeled around, and rolled back to the group. “You’ve all made your point. It’s a good one. Chancy Boy would make any rider proud.” She took a deep breath and bit her lower lip. “Nothing is ever as easy as it seems. Lauren, please come with me and let’s talk.”
Lauren felt her heart beat fast with apprehensive but renewed hope. She gave Hannah an encouraging smile, knowing Kent and Billye Jo would take care of her while she talked with her aunt.
Hedy led Lauren back into the barn, zipped down to the entry gate, and stopped her motorized wheelchair. She wheeled around and looked Lauren straight in the eyes as she blinked back tears.
Lauren reached out to her aunt, wanting to comfort but not knowing how, then dropped her hand back to her side.
“What I’m about to tell you will be our secret forever,” Hedy said in a firm voice as she straightened her shoulders. “Agreed?”
“Yes, Aunt Hedy.”
Chapter 37
Lauren sat down on the packed dirt of the barn beside Hedy’s wheelchair. She crossed her legs and prepared to listen, as she’d done so often as a child when her aunt had taken the time to explain something to her. They hadn’t been in this position for thirteen years, but now it seemed appropriate. Whatever secret her aunt was willing to share must be momentous because Hedy rarely shed tears. Lauren leaned forward, wanting her aunt to see that she had her undivided attention and full support.
Hedy cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand as she looked down the length of the barn. “You’d think after all these years it’d get easier.”
“What, Aunt Hedy?”
“But I guess not.” Hedy brushed the flat of her palm across the top of the burgundy fleece throw over her legs. “I wanted to see Hannah ride her pony. At least I thought I wanted to see it.”
“Of course you did.”
“No.” Hedy shook her head in denial. “I wish I’d stayed away. I wish I’d never seen a thing. I wish I’d never responded to your text.”
“But—”
“More to the point, if you’d stayed away and kept your daughter away, I wouldn’t be here now crying all over the place and embarrassing myself.”
“You’re not—”
“Please don’t make excuses. I’m too damn old for anything but the truth.”
“Okay.” Lauren felt as if the world was disintegrating in a very confusing way around her. This was her aunt, solid as a rock, salt of the Earth, or at least that’s what she’d always believed to be true. But now?
“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” Hedy glared at Lauren with painful knowledge in her eyes.
“I’m trying to help.”
“You’re not going to let me ride off into the sunset of my years with my pride intact, are you?”
“I’m sorry if—”
“Nobody lives forever, no matter how the media tries to spin and hide the truth from humans with their fragile bodies.”
“But you’ve always been so strong.”
“Have I?” Hedy shrugged her broad, muscular shoulders. “Denial might be a better word for my actions—or compensation or appeasement or reparations.”
“What?” Lauren felt chilled to the bone. She no longer wanted to hear anything her aunt had to say. Whatever it was, maybe Hedy should carry her secret to the grave. And whatever part Lauren had in bringing about this confession, she wished she’d never opened that Pandora’s box.
“Guilt.”
“Surely not.” Lauren wanted to wring her hands in dismay or use them to shove the truth that was about to emerge into the light of day back into the cover of darkness.
“I taught you too well.” Hedy sighed, pushing back a strand of silver hair that had come loose from her long, thick braid hanging over one shoulder. “You’ll never give up, and you’ll never let anybody else give up either.”
“I’m just trying to help, but if you—”
“Too late now, isn’t it?” Hedy gave a deep, heartfelt sigh. “And there’s Hannah. She looks like you. Like your mom. Like me.”
“That’s good, at least I’ve always thought so.” Suddenly Lauren didn’t know what was good or bad or even indifferent. And she desperately wanted to return to her safe and sane world. But sh
e didn’t think she was going to be given that choice.
“If my little girl had lived, I bet she’d have looked just like Hannah.” And Hedy burst into brokenhearted tears as she buried her face in her hands.
“Daughter?” Lauren simply sat there in shock, feeling as if she’d been kicked upside the head by a horse as her aunt’s words slowly sank into her mind and became reality.
Hedy nodded as she continued to cry.
Lauren looked anywhere but at her aunt. Yet she saw nothing except the shocked blankness of her own mind.
“She’d have been a cowgirl like Hannah, wouldn’t she?” Hedy raised her tearstained face and stared straight at Lauren with eyes gone dark with despair.
“Yes.” Lauren barely got out the word from a face that felt frozen. She’d never heard a single thing about Hedy losing a child. She’d simply always been the wonderful woman who’d had time for her and the other kids of Wildcat Bluff. Now Lauren saw how much love her aunt had generously shared with others, never asking anything in return. But what if Hedy had had her own child to lavish with praise and attention? How much would the community have lost or perhaps have gained in that case? Lauren had no answer, but it didn’t matter. Not now, not ever. Hedy had been there for her, and now she was here for her aunt.
“Yes,” Hedy echoed Lauren’s word. “Exactly like Hannah.”
“Here.” Lauren’s mommy-training kicked in, and she fumbled in her pocket for the tissues she always carried for Hannah. She thrust the wad of soft paper toward Hedy as the very least gesture she could make to help soothe her aunt’s torment.
Hedy grabbed the tissues and rubbed tears from her eyes as she took deep breaths in an obvious attempt to calm her emotions.
“Good. That’s my aunt Hedy.” Lauren realized she had to be the strong one now—like she was with Hannah—until her aunt could regain her balance.
“Okay.” Hedy sniffed back her tears, straightening her shoulders. “Here’s the truth of the matter. I never told anyone before because I didn’t want pity. I still don’t. But I want you to understand the difficult position you’ve forced me into with this horse mess.”