Sure, the Dream Team, or better, STEAM Team, could mosey on into the city at the entry gate and work our way through the buffed up chiselers until we find someone with enough sense in their noodle to give us what we want or …
We could land in the center of the place and start shooting the place up until their leader comes to us.
I choose the latter, and due to time constraints, the Steam Team goes along with my direction. I’m the first to land, and while the other three circle above me, I stomp my feet, do The Twist, kick up dust, bang my arm blade against the ground.
[Taunt mode initiated.]
Steam Breeds start to take notice almost immediately. They are wider than I am by at least three feet, but no one has brandished a weapon yet.
One superhero landing later – which leaves a crater, mind you – and everyone knows Morning Assassin means business as well. He poses up next to me with his Steamsuit’s Slice Bang up and gives those gathering a long, slow nod.
Doc lands next, lightly, just for contrast, and crosses his arms over his chest. Sophia, true to her character, keeps her favorite passive aggressive place in the air directly above us.
“Take me to your leader,” I tell the closest Steam Breed, who has a green indicator over his head telling me that he is an NPC.
He lifts his shoulders and sets them back as he puffs out his chest. “We no have leader.”
Caveman talk? I look to Doc to confirm it, but all I see is his Steamsuit mask with its emotionless eyes.
“Come again, bub?” I ask in my booming, Steamsuit voice.
“No leader. Steam Breed no leader.”
I consider this for a moment. “Good, okay. How’s this? I new leader. You new follower. Understand?”
He shakes his head and veins on his neck bulge. “We no good. You not leader. We no have leader.”
Doc steps up to the plate. “Wall too big. We no like wall. Wall must come down.”
Aiden gives it a try. “We new leaders. We good. Wall come down. Bye-bye wall.”
Our main point of contact speaks to the nearest Steam Breed in a hushed whisper. He turns to Aiden and says, “Wall good. You no good.” He lifts his fists and the Steam Breeds, about twenty now, all pick up their fists as well.
[Hostiles identified. System ready to engage.]
Square targeting reticles overlay on their bodies.
“If that’s how we’re going to do this … ” Doc spins up his Gatling. I get my swords up, and I’m about to go all Kill Bill on the steamed-up mountains when an older Steam Breed with wire rimmed glasses pushes his way through the crowd. This one has a blue indicator, a player character – odd.
“There will be none of that,” he says, and he already has brownie points in my book just for the fact that he isn’t speaking caveman. He’s a head shorter than the others and he has a long, white beard that’s twisted off at the end. Both his arms are mechanical, a smorgasbord of gears, chains and pulleys, that are well-polished and better maintained than the Breedies around him. “I am in charge here.”
“Your buddy just said no one was in charge.”
“You asked for the leader. We Steam Breeds have no leader.” He raises a single arm in the air and the others raise their arms to meet his. “But I am in charge.”
Me: What the hell is he talking about?
Doc: I dunno. Let me see if I can get an angle.
“Well, nice to meet you Mr. In Charge,” says the Steam Faun. “I’m going to be just about as honest as I can possibly be with you. We are part of Ray Steampunk’s Wall Survey group and we need to get to that wall and do a quick survey.”
He strokes his beard for a moment. “You can survey it from the other side.”
“Yes, we’ve already done that, isn’t that right, um, Dr. Wang.”
“Affirmative,” Sophia says in her booming, mechanized female voice. “The front side of Wall Rose has been surveyed and is in good condition. There were talks of foundational issues at Wall Titan, something we hope to examine further after we’ve examined Wall Rose.”
“Steampunk sent you?” He looks suspiciously at all four of us. “As in the Ray Steampunk.”
“That’s right,” Aiden says, “we are the group that was responsible for, um, repairing and extending the wall around Alcatraz.”
His eyes narrow on Aiden. “Is that so?”
“That’s right,” I tell the old fart. “Now, as per decree of the lineage of Steampunk and all that makes this world rusty, cranky, and good, turn off the tripwire protecting the wall so we can … ”
Tear down that wall. I almost say it, but bite my lip just in time.
“So you can what?” the Man in Charge growls.
“So we can survey and measure the wall,” Doc chimes in.
I step forward. “Or should we call Ray Steampunk here to help us ask?”
Doc: !!! You idiot! Ray Steampunk isn’t going to appear!
Me: He did yesterday when I asked him to come …
“Ha!” The old man laughs and the gears in his body grind against one another. “Ray Steampunk come here?” His followers laugh with him. Once they’ve calmed down he says, “Okay, tough guy, call Ray Steampunk.”
“Fine, I will!” I raise my Gatling gun into the air. The barrel spins and I fire a few shots over their tents. The Steam Breeds bristle. “You heard the man, Steampunk, getchur ass down here! Hello, we need you here; this was your idea, remember!?”
Sophia: QUANTUM! Do not refer to Mr. Steampunk that way in front of his subjects!
Frances Euphoria: She’s right! Have you learned nothing, nothing about dealing with royalty in Proxima Worlds?
Me: Royalty in Proxima Worlds? Fine, fine.
I lower my swords to the sound of more laughter from the Steam Breeds. Eventually, the boss hog raises his mechanical arms and the crowd quiets. “So maybe you don’t have his ear in the way that you think you do,” he says.
Dammit, Ray!
“That said, you wouldn’t have your wonderful Steamsuits without the blessing of Ray Steampunk,” the old fella muses, “which means he must be, in some shape or form, crafting this little quest you’ve found yourself on.”
“So what are you saying, pops?” I ask.
“So let’s make a deal: I’ll give you what you want, if you give me something I want.”
“What is that you want?” Doc asks.
“My daughter.”
“What’d she run off or something?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No, she’s a prisoner at Alcatraz, the only Steam Breed there. Since you four helped build the wall around the prison, I figure you’d be the perfect ones to break her out and bring her to me. Once you do, I’ll have the tripwire temporarily disabled, and you can complete your little survey.”
Chapter Fourteen
The four of us zip through the air towards Alcatraz.
Rather than fly over Locus, we head southeast, which puts us directly above the rolling hills separating Imperium from the capital city. The skeletal remains of enormous steam-powered robots pepper the hills, their rusted carcasses a testament to the wars that have raged in this odd land. One in particular died reaching towards the sky, a final lament, which gives me the chance to do a little good ol’ fashioned target practice.
[New target acquired. Engaging weapons mode.]
I nail it with a fresh dose of unforgiving metal from my Gatling gun.
Then I laugh.
I’m not the only one who has used the big mechanical hand as target practice, evident in the bullet holes peppered across its palm.
Doc: Howzabout conserving some of that ammo?
Me: I just want to get a feel for how to use it.
I keep noticing a flashing blue icon on the bottom of the Steamsuit’s viewing panel. It shows the proximity of my Steammates with a series of lime green plus signs beneath them. Rather than ask what it does, I mentally select the icon and it enlarges, a small shadow box forming behind it.
[Initiate sequence?]
[Please verbally accept.]
“Um … initiate,” I say just for the hell of it.
“Shit … SHIT!” Gravity tugs at my guts as my craft begins to wind and grind all around me.
Panels fly off the Steamsuit and begin rearranging themselves, temporarily exposing the harness keeping me inside.
Doc: Dammit, what did you press!?
Doc is next to me now, and I catch him out of the corner of my eye as my sword arm separates and moves up – moves up!? – where it latches onto to something else, evident in a loud cranking noise.
[System activated.]
[Initiating interlink.]
[Interlink complete.]
More gears grinding, more anger from my dream-mates, and more loud adjustments as metal parts click together like Legos. The outline of a new body forms in the lower left hand corner of my viewing pane.
“It’s morphing time!”
[Interlink fully initiated. Steamzord online and operational.]
The Zord gods of yore have shined down upon us and somehow, through a simple voice command, I have joined all four Steamsuits into something that would give Ultimus Prime an eighteen wheeler-sized hard-on.
Proxima gravity pushes me back further into my seat. The Steamzord is a bit clanky, but it sure can scoot along! Thinking about this puts a graphical flight tracking display on my interface telling me everything from the weather to the speed and our current altitude.
The next realization hits me. “Wait, why the hell do I have to be the leg?”
Aiden’s voice appears in my ears. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.”
“Which part are you?”
“I’m the head and the arms!”
“And Doc, you’re the other leg?”
“Roger that. I can never get a leg up. Ha! I kill me sometimes.”
“I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Let’s get to Alcatraz!”
Sophia’s voice this time. “Aren’t you going to ask which part I am?”
“I figured you’d be the ass.”
“I have a front side too, Quantum!”
“So you’re the … ?”
“I’M THE TORSO YOU IDIOT!” she screams in my ear.
“So you’re the front ass, got it.”
“Front ass,” Doc chuckles, “I have to hand it to you there.”
“And let me guess, you have nipple cannons?”
She huffs. “They aren’t exactly where the nipples should be, but … yes. I have nipple cannons.”
Frances Euphoria: Screenshots!
Me: Most definitely. Transfer me one with the nipple cannons in full view.
Frances Euphoria: Rocket will go crazy when he sees this!
The mention of his name reminds me of what we’re trying to do and why we’re trying to do it. “Enough fun and games, let’s goose it!”
~*~
The Steamzord, aka Yours Trulies, is a mech to behold.
Not much I can do as the leg, but if the chance to kick ass presents itself, I most certainly will take up the offer.
Below us, a pair of herders on steamcycles circling a group of sheep see us and do a double-take. Their sheep scatter. We pass over the ruins of a castle and I catch a glimpse of our body pushing out a chemtrail worth of steam from the bottom of its feet.
Damn, I wish I could have been the pilot!
“How’s our weapon system?” I call out.
“One big blade the size of a two-story building for my leftie; one Gatling gun for my righty,” Aiden says through the intercom system.
“Plus a ton of guns on its chest,” Sophia says, “just so you know.”
“Nipple guns. We’ve been over this. You got an ass cannon too?” I ask.
I can feel her roll her eyes at me.
Doc says, “Aiden switch gun controls to my interface.”
“Roger. You want the shoulder cannon too?”
“Nah, give that one to Quantum.”
“Hey, why am I the last one to get a weapon around here?”
[Shoulder cannon has been synced to your interface. Verbally accept this change.]
“Hell yes!”
[User D must verbally accept the shoulder cannon transfer.]
“Hurry up already, sync!”
[User D must verbally accept the shoulder cannon transfer.]
“Yes, dammit, yes.”
[User D now has control of the shoulder cannon.]
Story of my life – I hope that there will be a time when I don’t have problem with AI. Instead of bitch, I take in more of the sights of Steam, which roll below my viewing pane like a montage sequence in an old flick. Damn, there have been a lot of battles here. Lovecraftian graveyards galore, to the point where it is almost apocalyptic. It’d be fun as hell to do a little exploring, but there’s no time for that. Which gets me thinking …
“Hey, how are we supposed to figure out which one his daughter is?”
“What part of she’s the only Steam Breed there do you not understand?” Doc asks.
“I didn’t hear that part.”
“Selective hearing is a pre-existing condition.”
I laugh. Damn that Steam Faun and his early 21st century jokes.
“We’re going higher,” Aiden says.
“Higher, standing outside the fire … ”
“You need to work on your singing voice,” Sophia chimes in.
“I’ll get to that next. First, it’s time to test my shoulder cannon.”
The shoulder cannon swivels so it is facing backwards. Before anyone can protest, I lock onto a particular fluffy cloud and trigger the weapon. A red, concentrated beam of energy tears through the cloud. A circular indicator appears, letting me know the weapon will take twenty seconds to cool down.
“Happy now?” Doc asks.
“I … I think so. I may need to blast that cloud again. He keeps looking at me funny.”
[Iron West beach is due east an estimated fifteen minutes away. You will soon be approaching the air space above Victoria. Would you like to know more about Steam?]
“I’m good.”
[Crankcase Lake is known for its rust colored water. The water is high in Vitamin Steam and the black sands that surround the lake are used in moisturizers and body scrubs. Alcatraz, situated on a man-built island in the center of Crankcase Lake, was built after the Federal Prison of Peshawar was destroyed after the Binghamton Prison Factory Fire.]
“I said I’m good!”
[Due south of Crankcase Lake is Verne Island, known for its interesting and unique animals, such as the Galapagos steam turtle. Steam turtles are unique because they are a living creature that has formed a relationship with humankind. Humans are able to open their glass shells, climb inside, and steer the steam turtles to the bottom of the Sea of Steam where there are plenty of treasures and mysteries to uncover.]
“Please shut up!”
“Who are you yelling at?” Sophia asks.
“The damn interface won’t shut the hell up! I’m just trying to enjoy my time in … the foot. I guess that doesn’t sound as cool as I hoped it would sound.”
“Did you answer its question?”
I quickly glance at the third to last message.
[Would you like to know more about Steam?]
“No! I would not like to know about Steam, dammit!”
~*~
The Steamzord’s AI is more or less quiet for the rest of the trip. In the meantime, I get a good dose of Steam scenery and chat with Frances over the messaging interface. Time’s a-ticking, and I can tell she’s just as concerned about Rocket as I am. Eye on the prize is an understatement, and it is with no remorse that I aim the shoulder cannon at the walls surrounding Alcatraz and fire off a blast.
[New target acquired.]
Here goes nothing.
“Quantum!”
Ha! I don’t think there will ever be a day in my life going forward that someone doesn’t shout my name. This one goes to Sophia, who’s utterly b
eside herself after she sees the blast I’ve just put into the wall surrounding the prison yard.
“What?” I ask as Aiden skids to a halt midair. “If Ray Steampunk didn’t want us to blow up the joint, he would have appeared back in Tent City and let old man Steam Breed know we mean business!”
“But there are bad people in there!”
“There are bad people in here too, Doctor – what’s your point? Again, I refer you to my original statement.”
“Good call!” Doc starts firing the Gatling gun at one of the guard towers. A panel on top of one of the roofs cranks open. Air Enforcers pour out in droves. Doc adjusts his trajectory and starts taking the little bastards out in great waves of bulletry.
Another rooftop opens and a surface-to-air missile launcher slowly cranks itself into position.
“I’ve got it,” I say as the shoulder cannon reaches full charge.
Le boomski!
The prison’s SAM launcher is a great ball of fire by the time my shoulder cannon has had its say.
“This is against protocol!” Sophia laments.
“Dr. Wang, shaddup and get to firing at the approaching air enforcers, preferably with your nip guns!”
Doc’s comment seems to work.
Soon the Steamzord is rocking in the air as Sophia pumps the weapons jutting out of the machinery’s chest. The prison takes a pummeling and Lake Crankcase quickly fills with floating, steam-pissing, bodies.
Everything is hunky dory until a nearby cliffside opens up and a towering Steam Enforcer pulls himself out.
He’s not the only one. A different hill opens up and another big bruiser pulls out. They’re everything you’d expect in a Steam Enforcer – big, dumb-looking, slightly golden because of brass accent points, ape-like because their arms hang closer to their feet, and armed like the Saudis after their latest weapons deal with the FCG.
The two Steam Enforcers immediately engage us with their Gatling guns. As soon as the first bullet hits, an HP gauge scrolls across the top of my viewing pane.
[Warning. Enemy combatants are engaging.]
“No shit, Sherlock!” I grumble. “Come on, come on, come on.”
I lock my shoulder cannon onto one of the enforcers.
Proxima Riven: Page 16