“Just tell me this…” He tipped my chin with his index finger, looking me in the eye. “Are you still interested?”
I’d never met a man more direct or more confident. And I loved and hated that about him. He put me on the spot and refused to let me hide from the truth, even when I wanted to. “Of course I’m interested, but—”
“No buts.” He grinned. “That’s all I need to know for now.”
***
Chris should have been exhausted by the time we headed back down to the field, but he was bouncing around, talking a mile a minute about the tryout and the drills and how he couldn’t wait to come back tomorrow.
“I should have asked,” I said, looking up at my ex as he laughed. He was standing behind Chris, rubbing his shoulders. “How many days a week is training?” Chris was only in sixth grade, but he had homework and projects to consider. As much as he loved soccer, I’d always made sure school came first.
“Three nights a week and games on weekends,” Spence said, kicking the ball back and forth with Chris when my son backed up on the field.
“Oh, that’s kind of a lot.” I knew their fees were several thousand dollars a year. I’d already checked it out on their website, and I was certain parents expected to get their money’s worth, but I didn’t want Chris to put sports before school.
“It’s only an hour and a half,” he explained, grinning when he fired the ball at Chris, who headed it instead of letting it sail past him. “And his age group trains from six thirty ‘til eight.”
“Oh.”
“Is that a problem?”
“I close the gallery at six, but I hold art classes twice a week after hours. What days would the training be?”
“Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”
“Damn,” I said, softly. “My classes are Mondays and Wednesdays from seven to eight.”
If I’d known the soccer schedule before, I could have made the classes Tuesdays and Thursdays, but we were already two weeks into the eight-week session, and I didn’t want to be unfair to the dozen people who’d enrolled. Those classes didn’t bring in a lot of revenue, but every little bit helped.
“Your mom watches Chris after school?” he asked, raising his hand in acknowledgment when Chris indicated he was taking a water break.
“Yeah.” She would have volunteered to take Chris to soccer practice, but she didn’t drive and lived fifteen miles from the facility.
“She still live in the same house?” he asked, picking the ball up and twirling it between his hands.
“Yeah, across from the elementary school.” I had gone to that school, and now my son did too. We joked it was a family tradition.
“It’s not far from here,” he said. “I could pick him up from your mom’s place, if you’re okay with that? Then you could pick him up when you finish up at the gallery.”
“What?” I shook my head. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” He stepped closer, tossing the ball aside when he spotted Chris kicking a ball around with a group of older boys who were getting ready to train. “Why is it so hard for you to accept my help, Hallie? We were friends once. I’d like us to be again.”
We had been a hell of a lot more than friends. This guy was my first love, and I’d have to be crazy to let him get too close to my son. Chris already had Spencer’s poster hanging on his bedroom wall. Even though it had been five years since he’d played, my son thought it was the coolest thing, a big pro player like that coming from our hometown. He said if Spencer could make it to the Premier League, maybe he could too.
“It’s just that, um…” How could I explain without offending him? “I guess I’m used to taking care of him on my own, you know, with my mom’s help. His dad hasn’t been in the picture…” I blushed when I realized he may think I was implying he wanted a role in Chris’s life. “I know you’re just offering to pick him up for practice a couple of nights a week. It’s not a big deal.” I toughed his arm. “I mean, it is a big deal. It’s really sweet of you to offer, but…” I dropped my head, embarrassment coloring me red. “God, why am I babbling?”
He laughed. “I don’t know. Why are you?”
“I don’t want him to get confused, I guess. I don’t mind if my son knows we were friends, but—”
“Wait, he doesn’t know we dated?”
I’d considered telling him, but I knew if I did, it would be all over school and all those PTA moms would be pumping me for information about my sexy ex. “No. You know how kids are, Spence.”
“No, how are they?”
He crossed his arms, and I tried not to notice the way the thin fabric pulled tight across his muscular chest and powerful biceps, but I couldn’t help myself. The black training shirt had his company logo printed on the chest, and I pretended to stare at that as I said, “Um, they get these crazy ideas in their heads sometimes.” I laughed, trying to ignore the fact he was staring at me. Intently. “If he found out you were my boyfriend, he might think…” I started waving my hands, wishing I could make myself stop. God, this was so humiliating. When it became obvious he wasn’t going to save me from myself, I said, “He might think you could be again. You know, my boyfriend.”
His lips twitched, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh.
“It’s okay, go ahead. Laugh. I know it’s ridiculous, right? Why would a gorgeous, rich, single retired athlete want to be saddled with a poor single mom—”
“Hallie?”
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
I frowned, waiting for him to smile. When he didn’t, I said, “Excuse me?” I was tapping my foot, my arms crossed, waiting for an apology, but none came. “Who are you to tell me to shut up?”
He grabbed my arm and hauled me into an empty hallway leading to the restrooms.
“Hey, Chris—”
“Will be fine for a few minutes,” he argued. One of his hands was resting on the wall above my head, his body dangerously close to mine. “Don’t let me hear you talking yourself down again, okay?”
“I wasn’t.”
I didn’t have low self-esteem, if that was what he thought. I knew I was reasonably attractive and had a lot to offer. Most men my age found me appealing, judging by the dates I turned down, but those were normal guys, not former athletes who’d made hundreds of millions of dollars and traveled all of Europe, playing in front of seventy thousand screaming fans.
“I was just stating the reasons why it would be a bad idea for my son to know we were a thing.”
His eyes darkened as he leaned in closer. “We were a lot more than a thing, and you know it. I was fucking in love with you, Hallie.”
Oh, God. He was so close I had to refrain from inhaling too deep, or I’d run the risk of breathing in his scent. The one that made me want to lick him all over. He was wearing training pants, black Tiros with a white stripe. They did nothing to hide his erection when he grabbed my waist and brought my body flush against his.
“I think it’s obvious there’s still something between us,” he murmured, skimming my lips with his.
His mouth barely grazed mine, yet I could feel the effects all over my body. I curled my hand around his neck, bringing his head closer to mine. “Spence, this is a really bad idea.”
“I disagree,” he whispered, his mouth hovering just above mine. “Kissing you is the best idea I’ve had in a long fucking time, baby.”
“Mom!”
Spence stepped back as he swore softly before turning away from Chris and making an adjustment.
“What’re you guys doing?” Chris looked from me to Spencer and back again, waiting for an answer.
I must have appeared dumbfounded because Spencer finally went down on his haunches, bracing his hand on Chris’s shoulder. “So here’s the deal, little man.” He looked up at me, daring me to stop him. But I let him keep talking, knowing full well the truth would come out eventually. “Your mom used to be my girlfriend.”
>
Chris’s jaw dropped as he stared at me, waiting for confirmation.
I used my fingertips under his chin to close his mouth, trying not smile at his reaction. He, like most kids his age, probably found it hard to believe his mom had a past he knew nothing about.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chris asked me finally.
“I just didn’t want word getting out.” I set a hand on Spencer’s shoulder when he looked up at me and quirked an eyebrow. “I didn’t mean it like that. But honey, I didn’t want you to think… well… I know how much you like Spencer…” Even though he’d just met him, my kid idolized my ex. “And I didn’t want you to think—”
“Your mom is an amazing woman, Chris,” Spence said, ignoring me. “You know that, right?”
He nodded emphatically, making me smile. “Sure.”
“So if I told you I really, really liked her back in the day, that wouldn’t come as a surprise to you, would it?”
He shook his head. “Nuh-uh.”
I didn’t know where he was going with this, but I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like it.
Chris tipped his head, looking at Spence thoughtfully. “Did you love her, like want-to-marry-her love her? Then you would have been my dad,” he said, wide-eyed.
I couldn’t help but groan as Spencer looked stunned.
“Christian, please,” I warned. “We were kids. This whole conversation is ridiculous. Go to the restroom before we leave. I don’t want to get in the car only to have you tell me you forgot to go.” I knew I was being short with him, but he’d humiliated me without even realizing it, and I wanted to get out of there before he could do it again.
Spence waited for Chris to step into the men’s room before he jumped up and swiped a hand across his forehead.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, touching his arm. “I suspected that wouldn’t go well, but I never thought he’d make that comment about you being his father.”
He stared at me, looking dumbfounded. “I have never, in my life, hated someone I’ve never even met.”
I frowned, trying to make sense of his claim. “What’re you talking about? Who do you hate?”
His look was menacing when he said, “Your deadbeat ex. The man who was lucky enough to marry you then was stupid enough to fuck it up and let you go.”
I sucked in a breath, shocked by his rage.
He thrust a finger in the direction of the closed bathroom door. “He’s got an amazing kid, and instead of being here for him, that boy wishes someone else was his father.” He pinned me with his gaze, making me squirm. “And you know what, Hallie? Right now I wish that too.”
***
We’d forgotten Chris’s backpack at my mom’s place earlier, so we had to pass by and pick it up. Even though it was Friday and it could have waited ‘til tomorrow, my son was insistent.
We could smell the peanut butter cookies baking as soon as we walked in the door, and I had a sneaking suspicion I knew why we couldn’t wait. Peanut butter cookies were his favorite. Mine too.
“Hmm, something smells good,” I commented, giving my mom a kiss on the cheek when we found her at the stove, rolling the dough into balls and placing them on a cookie sheet.
“The first batch is already in the oven,” she said, glancing at the timer. “Only five more minutes.”
“Can I have a glass of milk, Nan?” Chris asked.
“Sure. Help yourself, honey.”
Chris got a glass out of the cupboard and asked, “Nan, why didn’t you tell me Mom used to go out with Spencer MacKay?”
“I had a feeling that would come up when I heard you were taking him there,” my mother muttered. “It wasn’t my place to tell you,” she said in answer to his question. “It was your mom’s. I figured if she didn’t want you to know, it was none of my business.”
“Why didn’t you want me to know, Mom?” Chris asked, sitting at the table with his glass of milk while he watched the oven timer.
Countdown was on, only three minutes to go plus cooling time. I could practically see him salivating. I sat across from him, trying to draw his attention away from the cookies. I knew if he was going to be seeing Spencer a lot, we would have to get this out of the way so there wouldn’t be any more awkward moments or wishful thinking.
“Honey, I was with Spencer a long time ago. I’m sure he’s dated a lot of women since. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure he’d remember me.” Okay, so that was a little white lie. I honestly didn’t think we’d ever be able to forget each other. Our relationship had been that intense... and hot. God, was it hot. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
“Still, I talk about him a lot. I’ve been asking to go to his academy for like a year, and you couldn’t have told me you knew the guy?”
Chris was eleven next month, turning twenty-one. He was a smart kid who thought he knew it all. I knew part of that was only-child syndrome. He’d matured a little too fast, being around adults all the time. “I just didn’t want you making a big deal of it.”
My mother gave me a pointed look as her oven timer went off, and I knew what she was thinking. It is a big deal, and you know it!
“Why?” Chris asked, licking his lips as his nana withdrew the cookie sheet from the oven and replaced it with another.
“I didn’t want you to get any silly ideas about us being a couple again or something.” I rubbed my forehead, praying I didn’t have to suffer through another migraine. I got them more often this time of year, with the subtle change in temperature.
“He was gonna kiss you.”
My mother gaped at me before she snapped her mouth shut.
“He was not.” Another little white lie. They were starting to add up.
“Mom, I have eyes,” he said, rolling his. “I know he was gonna kiss you.”
Lord help me. He wasn’t even a teenager yet, and already he was calling me out. “Can we please just keep this whole thing to ourselves? I don’t want people from school to know. And you’re bound to be making friends at the academy now too. I definitely don’t want you to say anything to them about me and Spencer.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s his place of business, and it might make it awkward for him if people thought he’d once dated one of the parents.”
Chris stood, reaching for a paper napkin before piling a few cookies on it. “For someone who didn’t want to make big a deal of it… you’re makin’ a big deal of it, Mom.” He smiled at his grandmother before he said, “I’m gonna go watch TV for a bit, Nan.”
“You go on ahead,” she said, brushing his hair out of his eyes before kissing his forehead. “And enjoy the cookies.”
“You know I will,” he said, grinning as he left the room.
My mother waited until he was out of earshot before she asked, “Did he really try to kiss you?”
“No!” I blushed at her bemused expression. I could tell she knew I was lying. She always knew when I was lying. “It’s just been a long time since we’ve seen each other. Okay, so maybe some of the old feelings are still there, but it’s been a lifetime since we dated. We’re completely different people now.”
She prepared two cups of tea from the little pod machine we bought her for Christmas last year before she said, “You do realize that being a mother doesn’t exclude you from having a life, don’t you?”
“When would I have time for a life?” I asked, blowing my side-swept bangs out of my eyes. “Between work and Chris—”
“You can’t use him as an excuse forever, you know,” she said gently as she set the mugs down on the table. “I know Rob did a number on you, but eventually you’re going to have to learn to trust someone else.”
My mother didn’t understand. She’d had a devoted husband for over thirty years. To my knowledge, my dad had never so much as looked at another woman. My husband had left me for the receptionist who worked at his car dealership when I was six months pregnant. Not easy to get over something like that.
“
If I had time for a relationship—”
“You could make time. I’d be happy to watch Chris on a Saturday night if you wanted to go out on a date.”
I liked to reserve the odd Saturday night to go out with my friends. The four of us had been close since college, and even though two were married and three of us had kids, we still tried to make our friendship a priority.
“Speaking of nights out, are you still okay watching Chris tomorrow night? The girls and I were going to go out for dinner.”
“Of course,” she said, patting my hand with a warm smile. “You deserve a little fun.”
If not for my mom, I didn’t think I would have survived the past twelve years. She’d been my rock. Even when my dad had died and we were all crushed, she’d managed to keep on keeping on for our sake.
“But back to Spencer,” she said, dropping a sugar cube into her tea. “Is he as handsome as ever?”
I got up and plated some of the cookies, bringing them back to the table before I prepared my own tea. “He is.” I grimaced. “Unfortunately.”
“Why do you say it like that?” she asked, laughing. “He obviously doesn’t have a wife or girlfriend if he tried to kiss you.”
“No, but—” My phone rang, and I slipped it out of my purse. I recognized the name of Spencer’s soccer academy right away. “Excuse me, Mom,” I said, standing. “I have to take this.”
“You go ahead. I’ll check on my grandson.”
“Hello?” I said, waiting until my mom left the room to speak.
“Hey, Hallie.”
I recognized his deep voice right away. Damn. He still got to me. “Hey, Spence.”
“I hope you don’t mind me calling.”
“How’d you get my number?”
“It was on the sheet you filled out for Leon.”
“Right.”
“I was wondering if Chris would be able to play tomorrow. I just got a call from the parents of the regular striker for one of our ‘07 teams, and he apparently has chicken pox.”
“Oh no, that’s too bad.”
“Yeah, I know we haven’t really worked anything out yet, but it’s obvious Chris is good enough to play with us, so instead of waiting ‘til next weekend to get him into a game, I thought maybe he could help us out.”
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