It was suddenly hard to breathe again.
"The Anghenfil tried to take you," Cefin said, unaware of her inner turmoil. "It wrapped its tail around you and…I thought it had killed you. You were so pale and barely breathing."
Lauren swallowed and stared at the ground, forcing all of the thoughts about the Anghenfil into the space reserved for forbidden things. It was over now, no need to worry about it, and there was no need to tell Cefin that the monster was not only after her, but was the reason she had been brought here.
She could only imagine what he would say if he knew.
"It was unmoving when it had you in its grip, and I was able to sever the tail," Cefin continued. "It took to the skies and I brought you here…"
"I'm sorry I made you go up there," Lauren cried, trying to salvage the situation. "You were right, and I know now that—"
He stood up suddenly, his face unreadable.
"Cefin?" she whispered, his silence worrying her.
"We need to get back to the village. "
Lauren wished she could crawl into a hole and die as she followed Cefin back into the village. How could she be so stupid? Why hadn't she just listened to him when he told her it was a bad idea? She'd always prided herself on knowing the right thing to do, and she'd been so sure that it was the right thing to do. But now, she was left more confused than ever.
She slipped inside Aerona's house without so much as a goodbye and was thankful that Aerona and the kids were fast asleep. Lauren crawled onto her pile of hay and bedsheets, and let the tears silently fall as her thoughts ran unabated.
She thought about her and Josh, their final day together, punctuated by the voice of the Anghenfil and the snide inner voice telling her that she knew why she was brought here. In the moments she let the thought escape, it pointed out the indisputable evidence—where she'd been found, the last empath being taken by the Anghenfil, and even the monster's voice—and she knew she was too afraid of the truth to face it head on. So, as usual, she buried the truth and pretended to be ignorant of reality.
The same way she'd pretended for three months that Josh was going to propose "any day now" instead of seeing the writing on the wall.
Lauren Dailey, master denier.
Only this time, her denial was almost responsible for not only her death, but the death of poor, innocent Cefin. He had warned her, hadn't he? And she stupidly chose to ignore him.
For what?
To go home, her mind answered. She wanted to go home.
She began to sob silently, realizing that she was never going to see home again. She was never going to walk into her parents' house, never going to see her mom and dad, feel the warmth of the small town where she had grown up. Everyone was probably worried sick about her, and they would never know what happened to her. Was her body even back in her old world?
Did Josh even miss her?
She bit her lip to prevent any sound from coming out as she sobbed harder. She missed him so much right then it hurt. The irrational desire for his comforting presence was overwhelming. He was the entirety of her support system, and without her security blanket, she felt lost and alone.
She quietly took a breath, careful not to make any noise and wake Aerona or the twins. Part of her wanted someone to talk to, but she knew no one would understand. Even more, no one would care. These people were too busy worrying about their own lives and problems; why would they care about her?
And what would they say if they knew she was the target of the monster's hunger?
That thought was squashed as Aerona stirred in the corner. Lauren hastily wiped her face and hoped the darkness would hide her puffy eyes. Aerona pulled herself out of the bed carefully so as to not wake the children, and recovered them with the blankets. She seemed surprised to see Lauren awake.
"Oh, I didn't hear you come in."
"Yeah, well, we had a late day," Lauren whispered.
"And yet you survived the Anghenfil," Aerona said, walking over to the hearth and lighting it. She sounded neither upset nor surprised by this fact. "Are you satisfied? Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Yes," Lauren whispered. And more than she'd ever wanted to look for again.
"Then you won't be making any more trouble for me." Aerona smiled. "I understand that you are hurting, and that you wish to be reunited with your family. And if I could, I would do everything in my power to see you back in your own home." She sighed. "But rushing up the mountain to almost certain death is not the way to go about it."
"I know," Lauren said, wondering why Aerona's words sounded more violent and angry in her head.
"Everyone is safe and sound. So all is well."
"Perhaps I can learn to live here," Lauren murmured, ignoring the crushing sadness that came with the resignation that she was stuck. "I mean, I've almost gotten the hang of laundry."
Aerona laughed softly so as to not wake the children. "I'm afraid if I let you do laundry, it will never be done. Baltes seems to have more use for you. He says you've got a way with the livestock."
"That sounds nice," Lauren lied.
"Go back to sleep. You look like you've had a trying night."
"No, I think I'll help you get things ready," Lauren said, needing the distraction.
"Then run down to the river and fetch me some water." Aerona handed her a bucket. Lauren brushed her hand, getting another dose of Aerona's mild but firm annoyance at Lauren's actions the day before.
By the time Lauren returned from the river, sloshing the water in the bucket, the twins had awoken and were sleepily moving about, helping their mother with the pre-dawn chores. They said nothing about Lauren's absence the day before, choosing to poke and prod each other as young siblings do. Aerona broke up a squabble by placing a bowl in front of each of them, and then placed a third in front of Lauren and a fourth at the head of the table.
"Who's that—"
Lauren stiffened when Cefin walked in the door, looking about as ragged and sleepless as she did. He nodded his hello to Aerona, who pointed to the empty seat. He looked right through her as he sat down at the table. Wordlessly, he began shoveling porridge into his mouth.
"Ay Cefin, what's your problem this morning?" Eddy barked, his small voice cutting through the tension Lauren felt in the room.
Cefin looked up at Lauren who immediately looked down at her bowl and began quietly eating. Of course Cefin was angry with her. Aerona may have been more forgiving of her stupidity, but she had put Cefin in danger, and he had every right to hate her.
"I think I'll get a head start on work at the farm," Lauren whispered, pushing her porridge out of the way.
"But you've barely eaten?" She heard Aerona call as she disappeared quickly out the door.
***
Lauren took a deep breath in the cool morning air, grateful to be out of the uncomfortable tension in the house. She was actually looking forward to a day of getting lost in the simple emotions of animals. It was much like data entry in that way, or binge-watching Netflix. Since she could barely control her own mind, it was a nice change of pace to give it away to someone else.
But that's what the Anghenfil promised, wasn't it?
Chills ran down her spine and she thought she heard a hissing in the back of her mind.
She was so distracted that she didn't see the shadow cross in front of her until it was too late.
"OOF!" She fell backwards and landed hard on the heels of her hands. Looking up, she was surprised to see the wild, gray hair of Owena, the insane woman she and Cefin saw on their way up the mountain the day before. She looked about as insane today as she did the day before, muttering and glancing around.
"Hi there," Lauren said, pulling herself up to her feet. "Sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going."
Owena turned around and leaned back, giving Lauren a crazy-eyed once over. The old woman leaned forward then back, rocking in a haphazard motion that made Lauren uncomfortable.
"You, empath," Owena sai
d after a few minutes of rocking and observing.
"Lauren," she replied gently before adding, "and yeah, I guess I am."
"You meet Anghenfil?"
"Er…yes," Lauren said, the memory of the terrifying monster fresh in her mind. "I won't do it again."
"You be careful," Owena said. "You stick with animals. Safer. No Anghenfil. No King. No pain."
"What do you mean?"
"Empath came from a land far away."
"Yes, I did." Lauren nodded, curious how Owena knew that. Perhaps the news had traveled fast, but how much comprehension did she have?
"No, empath," Owena muttered, looking confused for a moment.
"I am the—"
"NO EMPATH," Owena exclaimed. Lauren jumped at the volume of her voice, and the anger with which she spoke. Owena closed her eyes and looked like she was trying to focus. "Empath….other…"
"The other empath?" Lauren was suddenly all ears. Siors had mentioned there was a girl here some fifty years prior. Was that who this woman was talking about? She was certainly old enough to have known her, but was she mentally sound enough to remember such a thing?
"Anghenfil take Empath," Owena mumbled.
"I know," Lauren whispered and wondered if the other girl had given into temptation as she had almost done. If Cefin hadn't been there…Lauren shivered at the thought.
"King take Empath. Anghenfil take Empath," Owena cried, wrapping her arms around herself. She was looking all around her and kept glancing up to the sky. "Everything black."
"Siors said that she was in the king's castle." Lauren nodded, trying to make sense of what the woman was saying. "And that's where the Anghenfil found her—"
"NO KING!" Owena bellowed. "KING MADE BAD! ANGHENFIL TAKE HER AWAY! ANGHENFIL BLACK!"
"Hey, it's all right," Lauren reached forward out of habit to calm the woman down.
Nothing.
With a gasp, Lauren removed her hand. It was the first time since she'd arrived in this world that she hadn't been sucked into someone else's mind. Even animals had something, but to not have any thoughts or emotions?
Lauren watched as Owena bobbled away, muttering to herself about the sky and the Anghenfil and something turning black. Lauren was curious about all of this and wanted to press the old woman further, hoping she could piece together something important about the previous empath.
Then again, the other empath was devoured by the Anghenfil who also—
She shoved that thought into the back of her mind. Turning on her heel, she hurried up the trail to Baltes' farm, eager to fill her brain with something other than reality.
***
Lauren came back to herself, dizzy and lightheaded from all of the different goat thoughts swimming in her brain. But she was no longer thinking about anything else—although thinking about things she was trying to avoid brought them back to the fold, so she was quick to jump back into the minds of the livestock.
Baltes let her wander around with his herd that day but still didn't get the concept of her empathy, as he chatted with her all day long. She heard about a tenth of what he said, making a show of nodding to him every so often before diving into another animal. It wasn't until he asked if she was going to stay all night that she finally stopped reading all the animals and noticed that the sun was setting.
"I have to say, you do like them goats, huh?" Baltes laughed, walking her to the edge of his farm. "Do they have interesting thoughts?"
"Better than what's going on in my own head," Lauren said, happily too brain-tired to be pulled back into her anxious thoughts. She was thankful that, for once, her mind played nice with her.
"I usually use whiskey for that." Baltes winked at her.
"Not as bad of a hangover in this case." Although Lauren thought a drink would have been great right then.
"See you tomorrow?" Baltes asked.
"Absolutely!" Lauren waved back at him, eager to get back to Aerona's house. She wanted nothing more than to eat a hot meal, curl up in bed, and fall into a dreamless sleep.
What she did not want was Cefin in the middle of the street, his spear slung across his back and his face still agitated. A flame lit in her chest like a gas stove, and her hands began to shake. She didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to remember the stupid thing she made him do. The scathing voice began to babble on repeat, "you knew better," and the panicked flame spread across her whole body, speeding her heartbeat and shortening her breath.
"Oh…hi," Lauren said, hoping that he was just standing there dazed and not waiting for her.
"I think we should…speak about what happened."
"Uh, I think I hear Aerona calling," Lauren said, suddenly unable to look at him. She knew he was going to berate her, and all she could think about was that she knew better. God, she knew better, and she chose to ignore it and walk ahead blindly like she was the stupidest—
She tried to rush away when the hem of her dress caught on something. Cefin's foot, as it turned out.
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"Because," Lauren's voice shook. "Because I know you're mad at me, and…I just…"
"I'm not angry with you, I'm just…" he trailed off. "My father and my uncle died because I went up to the mountain when I was a boy. I should have told you."
"I…what?" Lauren's train of thought came to a screeching halt, and she turned her attention to Cefin, finally seeing his face and his misery for what it was—self-inflicted. Her panic dulled to a ghost-like whisper.
"I was fifteen," Cefin whispered. "Aerona was about to give birth to the twins, and I told my father I was ready to stand guard as the watcher." He looked off into the distance. "When he refused, I went up to the mountain myself to try and slay the beast." His jaw tensed, and he swallowed hard. "My father and my uncle—Aerona's husband—came to bring me back…and they…" He trailed off and stared off into the distance.
"Oh, Cefin," Lauren said, covering her mouth with her hands. Even standing all the way over here, she could feel his guilt and his misery, and something else that she couldn't put her finger on.
"And when you were lying there, I was afraid…I had brought someone to their death again." Pain was etched on his face as he turned to stare at her intensely. "I am sorry that I put you in danger."
"It was my stupid idea!" Lauren exclaimed, taking him by surprise. She opened her mouth to say that she should have known better, but something stopped her. Instead, she said, "I should have listened to you. And for that, I'm sorry. You were right, it was dangerous…" She shivered again.
"The Anghenfil has taken much from me and my family," he said. "But if I thought it could get you back home, I would go face it another hundred times."
Different kind of nerves fluttered through her, accompanied by a slight blush to the face.
"You were…so pale," Cefin said, his eyes scanning her face. "I can only imagine what the monster did to you."
"Oh," Lauren scoffed, waving him off. "It was nothing. I mean…" She shrunk under his dubious stare. "The monster just forced me to relive my worst memory and—"
"Lauren, I am so sorry," Cefin said. "It must have been horrible."
"Nah," Lauren said with a lying smile. "I mean, I'm pretty lucky. It was just…a break-up."
"Break-up?" Cefin asked.
"When my boyfriend—my love, I guess— and I broke…ended our relationship," Lauren said, the words sounding stupid in her head in the context of all the other things that could have happened to her. Cefin still didn't look as if he understood, so she waved him off. "In any case, it wasn't that bad."
"But you were so pale," Cefin cried, "and barely breathing—"
"It's not something I want to do again!" Lauren laughed forcefully. "And, yeah, if it grabs me again, I've got a brand new memory for it to drudge up. I never thought I'd be facing a dragon."
Cefin nodded, but she could tell he didn't believe her.
"ANYWAY," she announced, hoping they could change the subject. "Walk back to Aerona's?"
"Sure," Cefin said, turning to walk beside her.
"You know, it's not so bad here after all. I think I might get used to it after a while," Lauren said, amazed at how normal she suddenly sounded. Maybe she was finally coming back to herself, after all these months.
"If you've not got a mind to bother the Anghenfil, I won't ask Aerona to make you tend laundry." Cefin winked at her.
Lauren smiled at him playfully and realized she was flirting with him again. It was awkward but easy. After all, they'd faced the Anghenfil and survived, they must have bonded. Maybe she could learn to live here after all. Some wild thoughts about possibilities with him erupted unbidden, and she allowed her mind to wander. He had saved her, and he was definitely interested in her.
And yet, Josh's face popped up in the middle of planning her hypothetical wedding with Cefin.
"Son of a bitch," she muttered to herself, hoping Cefin wouldn't hear it.
"Who is that?" Cefin said, looking behind Lauren. She turned to follow his gaze and saw a young boy scrambling up the rocky path as fast as fast as his small legs could carry him. Cefin rushed forward to him, helping him up the final few steps until he reached the clearing.
"Please, I need help," he gasped. Lauren saw he couldn't have been older than eight or nine, with long brown hair that was wet with sweat and hung limply around his eyes. "Please, where is the empath!"
Lauren's eyes widened as Cefin's eyes snapped over to her.
"It's you! You're the one!" he said, stumbling forward. Lauren took two steps back, almost able to read this boy's emotions from the distance away. She was not interested in feeling more of it.
"Why do you need her?" Cefin asked, his hand still firmly on the boy's arm.
"Tyllwyllwch!" he gasped.
"Bless you," Lauren replied, but one look at Cefin and she knew whatever the boy had just uttered was serious.
"Are you sure, child?" Cefin said, lowering down to face him. "What's your name?"
"Tomos, sir. Please, my village is dying. You have to come and help us."
"I'm sorry, but what the hell is this till-will-wick thing?" Lauren said to Cefin. "Please tell me it's not another fire-breathing monster."
"It's a terrible illness," Cefin said.
Empath Page 7