When Do Fish Sleep?

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When Do Fish Sleep? Page 24

by David Feldman


  telephone wires and

  walking versus hopping

  worms and

  Birthday candles, trick

  “Birthday suit”

  Biting of fingernails, reasons for

  Bitings in keys

  “Bitter end”

  “Biweekly”

  Black

  clothing and bohemians

  gondola color

  judges’ robes

  specks in ice cream

  stripes on baseball bats

  “Blackmail”

  Blacktop roads, lightening of

  Blades, razor, hotel slots for

  Bleach, flour and

  Blind

  money counting

  wearing dark glasses

  Blinking and babies

  “Blockhead”

  Blood, color of

  Blouses, women’s, lack of sleeve length sizes in

  Blue

  as color for baby boys

  as color of blueprints

  as color of racquetballs

  in hair rinses

  “Blue blood,” origin of term

  Blue Demons and De Paul University

  Blue jeans and orange thread

  “Blue jeans”

  “Blue moon”

  Blue plate special, origins of

  Blue ribbons (as first prize)

  “Blue streak”

  Blueprints, color of

  “Blurb”

  Blushing and feelings of warmth

  Boats, red and green lights on

  “Bobbies [London officers]”

  “Bobby pins”

  Body hair

  loss of, in humans

  pubic hair, purpose of

  underarm hair, purpose of

  Body odor, human immunity to own

  Boeing, numbering of jets

  “Bogey”

  Boiling water during home births

  Bombs and mushroom clouds

  Book staining, of paperback book pages

  Books

  checkered cloth on

  pagination in

  Boots on ranchers’ fence posts

  “Booze”

  Bottle caps, beer, twistoff, merits of

  Bottles, cola, one- and two-liter

  Bottles, soda, holes on bottom of

  Boulder, Colorado, magazine subscriptions and

  Bowling, “turkey” in

  Bowling pins, stripes on

  Bowling shoes, rented, ugliness of

  Boxer shorts, versus briefs

  Boxers, sniffing and

  Boxes, Japanese, yellow color of

  Bracelets, migration of clasps on

  Brain, Ten percent use of, alleged

  “Brass tacks”

  “Bravo Zulu” origins of

  Brazil nuts in assortments

  Bread

  “French” versus “Italian”

  kneading of

  staling of

  yeast in

  “Break a leg”

  Breath, bad, upon awakening, in the morning

  Brick shape of gold bullion

  Bricks

  holes in

  in skyscrapers

  Bridges versus roads, freezing characteristics of

  Bridges, covered, purpose of

  Briefs, versus boxer shorts

  Brights/dimmer switch, position of, in automobiles

  Broccoli and cans

  Brominated vegetable oil in orange soda

  Brushes, hair, length of handles on

  Bubble gum

  baseball card gum

  Bazooka Joe’s eyepatch

  bubble-making ingredients

  flavors of

  pink color of

  “Buck”

  Buckles, pilgrim hats and

  Buffets, new plates at

  Bulbs, light

  and noise when shaking

  halogen

  high cost of 25-watt variety

  Bull rings, purpose of

  “Bulls [stock market]”

  “Bunkum”

  Bunnies, chocolate Easter

  Buns

  hamburger bottoms, thinness of

  Buns (cont.)

  hot dog, number of in package

  versus rolls

  Burger King wrappers, numbers on

  Burials, position of deceased

  Burping and babies

  Buses

  entry into

  idling of engines on

  ridges on sides of

  seat belts and

  Busy signals, fast versus slow, on telephones

  Butter

  hardening after refrigeration

  sticks, lengths of

  versus margarine, in restaurants

  Butterflies

  rain and

  sneezing and coughing in

  “Butterfly”

  Buttons, men’s versus women’s shirts

  Buzzing, bees and

  “BZ,” origins of expression

  “Cab”

  Cable TV

  channel allocation of

  volume levels of

  “Caboodle,” “kit” and

  “Caddy”

  Cadets, military, cap throwing and

  Cadillacs, ducks on

  Cafeterias, popularity of, among elderly

  Caffeine, leftover, from decaffeinated coffee

  Cakes

  angel food and cooling position

  reaction to loud noises

  seven layer, missing layers of

  Calculators, key pad configurations of

  Calico cats, gender of

  Calories, measurement of

  Calves, versus cows

  Cameras, black color of

  Camouflage, colors in

  Can openers, sharpness of blades on

  Canada Dry, origins of name

  Canadiens, Montreal, uniforms of

  Canceled checks

  numbers on

  returned, numerical ordering of

  white paper attachments

  Candles, trick birthday, relighting of

  Candlestick Park, origins of

  Candy

  Baby Ruth, origins of

  caramels versus toffee

  Milk Duds, shape of

  Oh Henry, origins of

  placement in vending machines

  shapes of boxed chocolate

  wrapping of boxed chocolate

  “Cannot complete your call as dialed” telephone message

  Cans, aluminum, crushability of

  “Can’t hold a candle”

  Capital punishment, hours of execution and

  “Capital punishment”

  “Capitalization”

  Caps and gowns, at graduations

  Caps, baseball

  buttons atop

  green undersides

  Captain, Navy and Army rank of

  Caramels, versus toffee

  Cardboard on automobile grills

  Carpenter’s pencils, shape of

  CAR-RT SORT on envelopes

  Cars (see “Automobiles”)

  Cartoon characters

  Casper the ghost

  Donald Duck

  Goofy

  Mickey Mouse

  Cash register receipts, color of

  Cashews, lack of shells in

  Caskets, position of heads in

  Casper the ghost, identity of

  Cassette players, audio, battery drainage in

  Cassette tapes, audio, on roadsides

  Cat feces, as food for dogs

  Cat food, tuna cans of

  “Cat out of the bag”

  “Catercorner”

  Catnip and effect on wild cats

  Cats

  calico, gender of

  catnip

  ear scratching

  eating posture

  hair, stickiness of

  miniature

  sight, during darkness

  swimming
and

  “Cats and dog, raining”

  “Catsup”

  Cattle guards, effectiveness of

  “Cattycorner”

  Cavities, dogs and

  CDs, Tuesday release of

  Ceiling fans

  direction of blades

  dust and

  Ceilings of train stations

  Celery in restaurant salads

  Cement

  laying of

  versus concrete

  Cemeteries

  financial strategies of owners of

  perpetual care and

  Ceramic tiles in tunnels

  Cereal

  calorie count of

  Cereal (cont.)

  joining of flakes in bowl

  Snap! And Rice Krispies

  Chalk outlines of murder victims

  Champagne

  aluminum foil on neck of

  name of, versus sparkling wine

  Channel 1, lack of, on televisions

  Chariots, Roman, flimsiness of

  “Checkmate”

  Checks

  approval in supermarkets

  numbering scheme of

  out-of-state acceptance of

  white paper attachments

  Checks, canceled

  numbers on

  returned, numerical ordering of

  white paper attachments

  Cheddar cheese, orange color of

  Cheese

  American, milk in Kraft

  cheddar, orange color of

  string, characteristics of

  Swiss, holes in

  Swiss, slice sizes of

  Chef’s hat, purpose of

  Chewing gum

  lasting flavor

  water consumption and hardening of

  wrapping of

  Chewing motion in elderly people

  Chianti and straw-covered bottles

  Chicken

  cooking time of

  versus egg

  white meat versus dark meat

  “Chicken tetrazzini”

  Children, starving, and bloated stomachs

  Children’s reaction to gifts

  Chime signals on airlines

  Chirping of crickets, at night

  Chocolate

  Easter bunnies

  shapes of

  white versus brown

  wrapping of boxed

  Chocolate milk, consistency of

  “Chops”

  Chopsticks, origins of

  “Chowderhead”

  Christmas card envelopes, bands around

  Christmas tree lights

  burnout of

  lack of purple bulbs in

  purple

  Cigar bands, function of

  Cigarette butts, burning of

  Cigarettes

  grading

  odor of first puff

  spots on filters

  Cigars, new fathers and

  Cities, higher temperatures in, compared to outlying areas

  Civil War, commemoration of

  “Claptrap”

  Clasps, migration of necklace and bracelet

  Cleansers, “industrial use” versus “household”

  Clef, treble, dots on

  Clicking noise of turn signals, in automobiles

  Climate, West coast versus East coast

  Clocks

  clockwise movement of

  grandfather

  number 4 on

  Roman numerals

  school, backward clicking of minute hands in

  versus watches, distinctions between

  Clockwise, draining, south of the Equator

  “Cloud nine”

  Clouds

  disappearance of

  location of

  rain and darkness of

  Clouds in tap water

  “Cob/cobweb”

  Coca-Cola

  2-liter bottles

  taste of different size containers

  Cockroaches

  automobiles and

  death position of

  reaction to light

  Coffee

  bags in lavatories of airplanes

  bags versus cans

  electric drip versus electric perk in

  restaurant versus home-brewed

  Coffee, decaffeinated

  leftover caffeine usage

  orange pots in restaurants

  Coffeemakers, automatic drip, cold water and

  Coins

  lettering on U.S. pennies

  red paint on

  serrated edges of

  smooth edges of

  Cola bottles, one- and two-liter, black bottom of

  Colas, carbonation in

  Cold water and automatic drip coffeemakers

  Colds

  body aches and

  clogged nostrils and

  liquids as treatment for

  symptoms at night of

  “Coleslaw”

  “Collins, Tom [drink]”

  Color

  blood

  cash register receipts

  wet things

  Comic strips and capital letters

  Commercials, television, loudness of

  Commonwealths, versus states

  Computer monitors, shape of

  Computers

  erased files on

  monitors, shape of

  Concrete, versus cement

  Conserves, contents of

  Construction cranes, assembling of

  Construction sites

  bill posting at

  pine trees and

  soaping of retail windows

  Consumer Price Index, changes in base year of

  Containers, for rain measurement

  Contemporary greeting cards, shape of

  Coolers, Styrofoam, blue specks on

  “Cooties”

  Cop”

  Copper bowls and egg whites

  Copyright pages, strange numbers on

  Coriolis effect

  Corn chips, black specks on

  Corn Flakes, calorie count of

  Corn silk, purpose of

  Corn tortillas, size of, versus flour

  Corn, baby, supermarkets and

  Cornish game hens, identity of

  “Corny”

  Corvette, 1983

  Cottage cheese, origins of

  Cotton

  in medicine bottles

  shrinkage of, versus wool

  Cough medicine, alcohol in

  Countdown Leader, film and

  Counterclockwise, draining, north of the Equator

  Counters on VCRs and audio recorders

  Coupons

  cash value

  expiration date

  versus mail-in refunds

  Courtrooms, bibles in

  “Couth”

  Covered bridges, purpose of

  Cow Palace, naming of

  Cowboy hats, dents on

  Cows

  calves and

  milking positions

  nose rings and

  sticking of tongues up nostrils of

  CPR training in schools

  Crabs, hermit, “bathroom habits” of

  Crackling sound of fire

  Cracks on sidewalks

  Cranes, construction, assembling of

  “Craps”

  Cravings, food, pregnant women and

  Credit card receipts, printing of, at gas stations

  Credit card slips, and phone numbers

  Credit cards

  and waiter tips

  dipping versus swiping and

  major versus minor

  quick swiping of

  Crickets

  chapped legs and chirping

  chirping at night of

  “Crisscross”

  “Crocodile” shirts

  Crowd estimates, police and

  Crowing of roosters

  Cruise controls, minimum speeds of />
  Crying at happy endings

  Cue balls, dots on, in pool

  Cups

  drinking, width of

  shape of paper and plastic

  Curad bandages, wrappers of

  Curly tails of pigs

  Currency, color of

  Cursive handwriting versus printing, teaching of

  Curves on highways

  “Cut and dried”

  “Cut the mustard”

  Cuts, paper, pain and

  Daily doubles in Jeopardy, difficulty of

  Dalmatians in firehouses

  Dams, beavers and

  Dance studios, floor location of

  Dancing, men versus women

  “Dandelion”

  “Dangerous Curve” signs, placement of

  Dartboards, numbering schemes of

  DC, AC and

  De Paul University and “Blue Demons”

  “Dead End” signs, versus “No Outlet” signs

 

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