by Jane Taylor
‘Are you hungry?’
‘Um…no.’ I walked over to the sink with the empty cup I’d brought from the bathroom, glad the silky, paisley patterned dressing gown was big enough to almost wrap around me twice. I was intensely aware that Robbie knew I was naked underneath.
Robbie picked up a bottle of brandy from the table in front of him.
‘Drink?’ he asked. I shook my head and he sighed.
‘So, Katie Roberts…is there anything you want?’ I suspected that was a deliberately loaded question. What was going on? Was he drunk?
‘How many of those have you had Robbie?’ He laughed and lifted one foot on top of the other onto the chair next to him.
‘Enough…or maybe not? Dunno really.’
‘But how am I going to get home? You can’t drive if you’ve been drinking.’
Robbie seemed to ponder that for a moment. ‘Hmmm…seems we have a problem, I suppose I could let you borrow my car…no…can’t do that – you’re not insured for it…’
‘You are a first class idiot Robbie, do you know that?’ I was annoyed. Why was he behaving like this?
Robbie scooted the chair from under his feet and came towards me. For a tiny second, fear leapt in my chest. Then he was in front of me, and all I could feel was his nearness. He reached around me to take a glass from the cupboard above my head, then without looking at me, returned to the table and banged the glass down.
‘I’m an idiot? Are you for real Katie?’ He unscrewed the top from the bottle and none too gently sloshed a large measure of brandy into it and then scooted it across the table.
‘Pardon me,’ he continued, banging the bottle down the same way as he had the glass. ‘But I wasn’t the fool who risked my life climbing fifty feet onto a roof in the pouring rain, wearing almost nothing and with those on my feet.’ He pointed to my soggy sandals now propped on top of the radiator to dry. ‘What the hell were you thinking, you could have been killed?’
Jesus! Why was he so angry? What was it to him anyway if I’d ended up in a heap on the patio?
‘I…’
Robbie held his hand up, palm facing me. ‘I don’t want to hear it!’ Well why ask then? I thought.
‘Drink that,’ he said, pointing to the brandy he’d just poured.
‘I don’t want it.’ He continued pointing at the brandy, his only movement was to cock an eyebrow.
Hmm…I thought, perhaps I should just drink the bloody brandy. I made my way to the table, but my grazed knees were beginning to hurt and as I sat down, I couldn’t help a grimace as the skin on them pulled.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Then why the look of pain? Are you hurt?’ His voice was a tad gentler as he asked this.
Right… I thought, go for sympathy, sympathy’s got to be better than anger.
‘It’s just my knees, I grazed them on the tiles.’ Robbie was around my side of the table and kneeling in front of me almost before I’d stopped speaking.
‘Let me see.’
I peeled back the voluminous dressing gown to reveal my two sore knees.
‘They need disinfecting and a couple of plasters, I’ve got a first aid kit in the van, I’ll be back in a moment.’
While he was gone, and feeling as if I could do with some fortification, I took a gulp of the brandy and almost choked as the liquid burned my throat. Yuck! I thought. How could anyone drink that stuff neat?
‘Here we are,’ said Robbie as he came back completely soaked again. He placed the large green box he was carrying on the worktop. Then, without warning, he stripped off his wet T-shirt and used it to wipe some of the moisture from his hair.
Sorry, but a person needs a little preparation to compose themselves before having their senses assailed in such a fashion, I thought, as an unexpected bolt of sexual energy coursed through my body. I watched the interesting play of the muscles on his torso and silently thanked God that Robbie seemed oblivious to the effect his actions were having on me.
I couldn’t say a word when he was kneeling in front of me once again. I had to clench my fists to prevent myself reaching out to touch him.
‘Am I hurting you?’ Robbie asked, misreading the reason for my balled fists. The antiseptic cream stung a bit but strangely, given the temper he was in moments before, his actions were gentle.
‘No not really… just stings a bit.’
‘Almost done.’
A couple of plasters later, Robbie had moved back to his seat and my traitorous body had returned to normal, or as normal as it could be at that precise moment. This was a strange situation…never in a million years could I have imagined sitting half-naked in Robbie’s kitchen while he administered first aid. I briefly let my mind wander further, trying to gauge my chances of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, were I to drop to the floor in a dead faint. Hmmm…
The object of my thoughts was speaking and I reluctantly dragged myself back to reality.
‘The weather is worse if anything…you’ll have to stay here tonight, Katie. I was only joking earlier, I would have lent you the car, but it seems pointless to risk driving in this weather.’
Ten minutes later, after another quick gulp of brandy and another coughing fit, I found myself tucked up in Robbie’s spare room.
I have to admit to you; I really wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Think about it. Robbie liked women, he’d had loads of girlfriends that I knew of, so what was wrong with me? Why was I dumped in the spare room? It was a blow to my ego, I have to say. I mean, I wasn’t absolutely sure I wanted to jump into bed with Robbie, but I would at least have liked the opportunity to turn him down.
My bruised ego, combined with the strange bed prevented me from sleeping. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours and was still no nearer blessed sleep. It was no good, I was thirsty – I slammed the covers off me in temper and searched around for the dressing gown. Turning on the bedside lamp, I looked at my watch through a haze of moisture trapped inside the casing. That was ruined then. I’d been trying to sleep for two hours, was that all?
When I opened the bedroom door, the LED lights were still on. That stopped me in my tracks for a moment, was Robbie still up? Taking one step out into the corridor, I looked down toward the kitchen. It was in darkness… I really didn’t want to come face to face with Robbie again that night.
I crept along on tip-toe and was relieved to see there was enough light coming from outside the kitchen window to light my way to the sink. Good, I wouldn’t have to search for the light switch. I rummaged round in the sink and found the glass I’d used earlier and filled it to the brim. I was just finishing the last dregs when a voice came out of the darkness.
‘Thirsty?’
‘Oh!’ I raised my hand to my chest in fright. ‘Robbie, you scared me half to death! What are you doing sitting here in the dark?’
‘Thinking.’
‘Oh.’ I wondered if he was ploughing his way through the brandy at the same time.
‘You’re right, you know.’
‘About what?’ I wished he would move so I could see him. It was disconcerting talking to the dark.
‘I am an idiot.’
‘Robbie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…’
‘Maybe not, but you’re still right,’ he cut in.
` I thought humouring him might be the best option, then I would high-tail it back to the bedroom and leave him to it.
‘OK, so why am I right, why are you an idiot?’ I sensed, rather than saw his movement. Then he was there in front of me. He raised his hand and I was mesmerised as he drew it gently down my face, his touch no more than a whisper against my skin.
‘Because…I’m sitting here while a funny, brave, incredibly foolish, but beautiful woman is sleeping alone in the room next to me… that’s why.’
I heard myself swallow in the silence that followed. I was afraid speak; I was sure I was dreaming and if I uttered a word I would wake up. I didn’t want to wake up, not wh
en I could see desire illuminated in Robbie’s eyes.
But don’t think for a minute what followed was a Mills & Boon type, gooey, love-fest, you would be so wrong. Sorry to disappoint you if that’s what you were expecting, because I’m not going to give it fancy frills or try to make it sound like anything other than what it was.
It was two people taking raw, almost animalistic pleasure from each another. There was no strangeness, no pretentions, no wondering about what the other wanted or liked… to be honest, we fitted, it seemed completely natural. But there was an undercurrent – something just under the surface, almost tangible, but not quite. It manifested itself now and then in a small gesture, a kiss, a touch and it saved what we were doing from becoming tawdry. It was, in every way, completely amazing sex.
It was late in the morning when I woke. I stretched, while mentally examining my body. My muscles ached pleasantly and I felt completely satiated, if not exactly rested. Daylight was creeping behind the heavy curtains before we had slept, but I wasn’t complaining.
I could smell hot coffee and opened my eyes. I watched as Robbie neared my side of the bed to deposit one of the cups he was holding on the nightstand. He was magnificent in tight black boxers; it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself. I’d never seen him with stubble before, it suited him… but then I was pretty starry eyed just then. Instead, I reached up to check my hair; sure it must resemble a bird’s nest on top of my head.
Robbie laughed as he jumped back into bed. ‘Mornin’ gorgeous, I shouldn’t worry about that,’ he said, indicating to my tousled locks, ‘I may not have finished ravishing you yet!’
I screamed with laughter as he started tickling me.
‘No…please don’t,’ I squealed, while batting him off me. ‘I need the bathroom and coffee in that order…now!’
A while later we lay together, we had just made love again and were having a hard time staying awake, when I thought of something that made me chuckle.
Robbie nudged me sleepily. ‘Share.’
‘I just thought of a conversation Alison and I had yesterday.’
‘And…’
‘We were talking about my lack of a love life and how I should do something about it.’ I turned to look at Robbie and found him staring at me.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘What do you mean your lack of a love life?’
‘Exactly that. I haven’t really had one for a while.’ I laughed. Robbie propped himself up on one elbow to stare down at me.
‘How long?’
‘Since I’ve had sex? You won’t laugh if I tell you, will you?’ He shook his head. It was a bit embarrassing, but I ploughed on regardless.
‘Erm…well…it’s coming up for six years, I think.’
‘Is that a joke?’ Robbie’s face registered his shock.
‘No, I’m not joking…why? Does it matter?’
Robbie swung back the cover and sat on the side of the bed before he answered.
‘No… of course it doesn’t matter.’ He now had his back to me so I couldn’t see his face, but I knew from his reaction it did matter. It was the why it mattered, that baffled me. I sat looking at his back, acutely aware of the subtle shift in the atmosphere. It was almost imperceptible, but I was alert now to every nuance. Something I didn’t understand, was going on here.
Robbie stood. ‘So… breakfast, I think,’ he said, as he gathered last night’s sweatpants from the floor. ‘Toast OK for you?’ he smiled as he said this, but it wasn’t the same smile as before. His expression was guarded; the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘Toast is fine.’
I stared after him as he left the room, my thoughts centred entirely on the last few minutes. What was going on? It was obviously to do with my lack of bed partners over the past few years, but for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why that should be a problem. In fact, I would have imagined it to be the reverse. Damn it to hell, why couldn’t I have kept my big mouth shut. It was typical of me – the first chance I got to have a bit of fun and I had to go and put the boot in big-style. A shower, I thought, then, I would have it out with him.
‘That’s better,’ I grinned as I entered the kitchen, ‘I feel human again.’ During my shower, I had decided on an upbeat approach. There was no point in making this a bigger thing that it was already. I would just enquire politely and hopefully, get some answers. It was a shame I didn’t get the chance.
‘Good, right well I’ll go and have mine then. I’ve put some bread in the toaster and there’s butter and marmalade if you want it. Oh, and I’ve taken your clothes out of the dryer they’re over there,’ said Robbie, indicating to my neatly folded shorts and undies.
I gave up on breakfast after the first bite of toast tasted like cardboard. I quickly dumped the rest in the bin, shoved my dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed my clothes. I had showered in Robbie’s room, but I decided to dress in the spare room – dressing in front of him seemed far too intimate now. I was determined to ignore the little ball of… what? Hurt…disappointment? I wasn’t sure what it was that was building in the pit of my stomach.
Desperate not to out stay my welcome, which seemed a real possibility by then, I’d asked Robbie to drive me home as soon as he reappeared. He was clean-shaven and I could detect a hint of citrus shower gel as he geared the car into motion. We’d chatted amicably on the short drive to my house, it was a front and I think we were both aware of that.
‘I’ll send Geoff and Dave round tomorrow first thing to mend the roof and ceiling,’ Robbie mentioned as I got out of the car.
‘Oh right… thanks.’ He wasn’t coming himself then. I stood for a moment, unsure of the protocol in a situation like this.
‘OK, well, see you then.’ I closed the car door. So that was it, I was to be another notch after all. I felt my insides cave in on themselves as I walked to my front door. All I wanted was to be behind it, out of Robbie’s view. It took some doing, but pride made me turn and wave cheerily as I entered the house. Robbie lifted a finger off the steering wheel in recognition before turning his head to reverse back down the drive.
So now do you understand why I keep saying I’m jinxed? Although this time I have to admit, I rather jinxed myself. But that’s me, five steps forward, three back every time. I should have been used to it by then… but I wasn’t.
Chapter Seventeen
I closed the door to the sound of Robbie’s car revving down the lane. Slinging my woolly sweater over the back of the sofa and my keys on the coffee table, I sat feeling unbelievably let down. I couldn’t make up my mind if that was by Robbie or myself. ‘Damn it to hell!’ I said to the empty room.
I sat for another few minutes going over the whole scenario once more, but when I was no nearer an understanding, I gave up. Get a grip, girl and just put it down to experience, I told myself, as I grabbed the sweater and flicked Shania Twain on almost full blast as I passed the CD player. I damped down the little ache still stuck in the pit of my stomach and went upstairs to put some clothes on and then make a start clearing the bathroom floor.
Alison rang as I was clearing out the last lot of plaster.
‘Just had a thought… why don’t you come over and have a late lunch with Missy and me? Mark rang and they should be back about six, so we have time for a natter.’
‘OK, give me about an hour, I’ve just got to mop the bathroom floor and get changed.’
‘Katie, are you OK? You sound a bit down in the mouth.’
Shit…she knew me so well. ‘No, I’m fine… see you in an hour.’
‘OK,’ Alison replied, but she didn’t sound convinced.
Just over an hour later I was standing in Alison’s kitchen watching her dole out beef casserole with dumplings between three plates from a humongous casserole dish.
‘I know this is a bit full on for a summer day, but I figured the boys might need fortification after a day on the high seas,’ she laughed.
‘Smells delicious… and actua
lly I’m starving.’ I’d just realised I hadn’t eaten anything since the evening before. Had that only been yesterday? So much had happened since then, it felt a lot longer.
I promise you, I really wasn’t going to mention anything other than my idiocy on the roof to Alison, but it just sort of got away from me as I was telling the tale.
‘You slept with Robbie?’ she shrieked.
‘Shush! Missy will hear you.’ Missy had taken her lunch into the den, but if she had left the door open, she would still be able to hear.
‘You slept with Robbie?’ Alison repeated almost whispering now. ‘How? Why?’
I sighed in resignation and began reciting the whole episode. I knew Alison wouldn’t rest until she had the whole story, so there wasn’t much point in trying to hide anything.
‘So he just changed after you mentioned the lack…’
‘Yep, it was just like he clicked a switch.’ I flicked my hand in the air to demonstrate.
‘How odd? I wonder why?’
‘I hoped you might have some idea on that.’
‘And you say he didn’t ask you to meet up with him again? What… he just drove off?’
‘After saying he would send a couple of his men around to mend the roof tomorrow, yes.’
‘Oh Katie, I’m sorry. I blame myself…if I hadn’t kept going on about it…’
‘Alison,’ I interrupted. ‘It had nothing to do with you, if fact, I never gave you a thought…well not until afterwards.’
‘So…’ Alison had a cagey look about her, and I knew what was coming next. ‘How was it…the sex?’
‘Fan-bloody-tastic!’
We stared at one another for a second, then burst into gales of laughter.
‘Well at least you broke your duck, so to speak…’ This solicited another raucous bout of hilarity until Missy came in demanding to know what was so funny.
I could always trust Alison to put things in perspective and as the weeks wore on, I was able to look at the whole incident as a blip in my otherwise perfectly normal life. A rather painful blip, but nonetheless, a blip. The bathroom was as good as new and I had every confidence in the roof holding up to the coming winter, since Geoff and Dave had given it the once over on Robbie’s instructions. I hadn’t seen him since and I hadn’t received a bill either. This bothered me, given what had happened between us, I didn’t want freebies.