I blinked at him as comprehension dawned. “You already knew?”
He nodded. “All Valiant know what Valkyrie truly are.” He glared at Will. “Those who’ve gone through the training, anyway.”
“And what are Valkyries?” Will asked, his voice holding a dangerous edge that Tyler had better be careful with his words.
Unfazed, Tyler explained. “Valkyries are born by the suffering of men who die in battle and those who’ve already been sacrificed multiple times by the Norn. Because of that, they’re innately in-tune with Ragnarök itself. Reincarnation is a paradox.” He held up a fist in demonstration. “The gods as we know them don’t create or destroy energy. They, too, must live within the bounds of physics. A soul is life, if one knows how to manipulate it. When a human is properly sacrificed…”
“The Einherjar,” I murmured as a shiver ran up my spine. “I was supposed to take Will’s soul to the Einherjar.”
Will shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that. You didn’t take me anywhere.”
The blood drained from my face. He meant to say, I didn’t dismantle his soul.
I clutched at my elbows and trembled, then horror wound through me at the realization that I hadn’t been born from the power of the Einherjar. I glanced at Tyler who seemed intent on watching me, his features unreadable. “You said that the gods can’t create life, but Freya and Odin… they’re my parents.”
Tyler nodded. “And no one has known what to make of that. Maybe that’s why Baldr is so terrified of them. Gods that can create life for real? That’s a great power indeed.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes, trying to focus on the emanating heat of the fireplace. Nothing could warm the stretching icy fingers that tried to dismantle everything that I was. Now that I knew what Tyler meant, I realized he was right. I clutched at the locket at my neck and wished that he was wrong. Most Valkyries would be burdened with suffering and pain, a darkness that called for Ragnarök. But me, I was born from the flesh of Freya and Odin, and if I had a mark of Ragnarök, it means that their suffering was worse than all the souls they’d ever reaped. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I said, my voice a shaking whisper.
Tyler growled with frustration as he got to his feet and began pacing. “This is our fault.” His words were a sharp blade against my ears. I turned to look at him and found him shaking a fist at Will. “She’s like a newborn without her memories. She doesn’t know how to contain the pain inside of her and when we start tearing at her like a game of tug-of-war, it’s just bringing all that out.” When Will set his jaw in a hard line, Tyler straightened and turned to me. “Your mother chose to raise you on Muspelheim for a reason. All Valkyries need its flames to burn the cold pit inside of all of you.” His eyes went wide. “Her daughters are the harbingers of Ragnarök and are a necessary force in the universe.” He knelt and splayed his fingers over my arm. His touch felt scalding against my sweat-dampened skin. “You are the most vulnerable of all Valkyries. You are capable of true love. With love comes heartbreak. And with heartbreak, comes sadness that can eat you alive. When that happens, you will be tempted to accept the icy chill that exists in your kind.” He curled his fingers away. “It’s why a Valkyrie cannot love.”
First Law of the Valkyrie… Don’t Fall in Love.
My mouth went dry at the realization that those laws were in place for a reason.
A supernatural sheen broke out on Will’s face and glittered like diamonds. He refused to look at me. “How do I know this is true?” His confusion turned to anger as he stood and faced Tyler. “You’ve been lying to us this whole time. Who’s to say this isn’t some elaborate scheme for you to get me away from her? To make me serve Odin to be miserable like you?”
When Tyler growled, Will shoved Dalia’s scope at me. “Look at him,” he insisted. “If anyone has darkness in their hearts, it’s the spawn of Dalia.”
Tyler’s eyes went wide, and when he looked at me, I saw fear. His gaze dropped to the scope and I knew that Will had hit a nerve.
An icy chill swept through the room as I turned the scope over in my hands. That sensation meant Tyler’s magic and his urge to disappear. Even though he shimmered, he stayed put and resignation fell over his features. He wanted to show me the truth.
I brought the scope to my face and sucked in a breath. Where I’d had a single black rune festering on my palm, Tyler was covered with them.
He closed his eyes and his jaw bulged before he turned and fled into a vortex of teleportation magic.
Love's Sacrifice
Tyler didn’t return that night, leaving me confused and admittedly heartbroken. “Why would he hide that from us?” I asked, and my thoughts echoed, from me?
Jules still hadn’t returned, leaving only Will and me to ponder what this all meant. Will paced an endless circle at my back while I huddled as close to the fireplace as I dared. The flames had died down, but not much.
Tyler’s revelation only seemed to make the cold grip on my chest worse, supporting what he’d said that my connection to Ragnarök was tied to my emotions, particularly those of a romantic nature. I’d never realized how much I’d cared for Tyler until he’d looked at me like he’d lost me forever. Now that I knew he bore the mark of Ragnarök, there was no way we could be together. If I truly let myself love him and something happened, it could be a tipping point that would bring about the end of the world. Yet, the thought of abandoning him to his suffering clawed at me until it left physical pain and my mouth parted in a silent cry. I couldn’t deny my feelings for him anymore. I wouldn’t.
As if he sensed the shift in the room, Will’s footsteps stilled behind me and his warm hand rested on my shoulder. Where Tyler caused me anguish just thinking about him, Will was a constant that would never falter. I turned and crushed myself into his embrace. “I’m sorry,” I muttered as my fingers curled into the vibrant glow of his Valiant leathers. He was far too worked up to keep a handle on his human mirage and I didn’t blame him.
“For what?” he asked, his fingers automatically threading gentle strokes through my hair.
“This isn’t fair to you,” I said. If I was going to admit my feelings for Tyler to myself, then I had to admit another truth I couldn’t deny: my heart belonged to Will.
His hands went low on my waist as he pulled me hard against him. The motion was of a possessive nature and he knew what I meant. “I’m not angry with you,” he said and raised a hand to continue his gentling strokes. “I’m not blind. Tyler is an Immortal and so are you. Before I was in the picture, you two must have had something.” He forced me to pull away and to look him in his eyes. Rainbow lights glittered in the back of freshly Immortal irises. “I think this was exactly how it went down in my last life. This is why Freya wiped your memories. You loved both of us and it was tearing you apart.”
To hear it aloud made my heart thunder in my ears. It was true. I was falling for them both… and perhaps that’s because it had already happened before.
He cupped my face. “That kind of pain left unchecked… it would be enough to usher in Ragnarök, wouldn’t it?”
I swallowed hard, because I knew he was right. Guilt seemed to be my worst trigger against the icy claw in my chest and the final straw that made me want to lower my defenses and let it consume me until I couldn’t feel anything anymore.
I forced myself to look up into his eyes that glittered with hope. Even now, knowing what he knew, he wanted to love me. I found my fingers gliding over his as I leaned into his touch. “Even without my memories, my heart remembers,” I admitted. “You’re right. I care for both of you.” I shivered because I was being so selfish. It wasn’t fair for me to feel for Tyler what I felt for him. Pain and guilt ripped through me and I winced, pulling away and pressing my hand against my chest where an icy dagger threatened to pierce through. “Will, I’m so sorry. What should I do? It’s not right for me to put you through this.”
Unfazed by the threatening shadows that licked at my fingerti
ps, he pulled me close to him again, allowing his warmth to banish the cold that wanted to devour me. “I would say choose me, but I know it’s not that simple.” He lifted my chin and gave me a tender kiss without any warning, making my toes curl as the breath of the sun of his magic spread across my face. The icy pain retreated, replaced with the unadulterated thrill that he gave me. I knew that it would be a short lived elation and would come crashing down with guilt the moment I saw Tyler again.
“Then what?” I asked, breathless.
He sighed. “You’re going to have to do it again.”
I blinked at him with incomprehension. “Do what again?”
He ran his fingers through my hair, bringing me in for another tender kiss before pulling away. “You’re going to have to let us both go, before you fall too hard.” When I made a sound of protest, he raised a hand. “If you make a clean break now, you can survive this pain.” His hand fell as he chewed his lip before asking his question. “You haven’t slept with him yet, right?”
I squeaked. “What? No. Of course not.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Good.”
An awkward silence swooped in to mix with the tension that grew between us. We’d never crossed that line, and from my perspective it’d been because Will had already been going through too much. Back at the cottage, I’d been more concerned about helping him adjust to his new Immortal life while I beat myself up for being the cause of him losing his mortal one. Yet, now, I saw that Will had held himself back because he’d seen the hesitation in my eyes. I couldn’t make that step with either of them. Even without my memories, I knew if I did, I’d form a bond so deep that breaking it would destroy me.
“It’s settled, then,” Will said, raising his chin in defiance. “Once I take care of my mother, I’ll go with Tyr to the Mojinir.” He’d called Tyler by his Immortal name, making me frown. “You,” he said, landing a heavy hand on my shoulder, “will go back to Freya. You have a mother who loves you. You must hold onto her for the strength you need.” His hand fell to his side as resignation settled around him like a shadow.
Anger made my heart thunder in my ears. “You’re going to give up, just like that?” I grabbed his arm, but it felt like a rock under my touch. He was unearthly and unmovable when he wanted to be. I’d wanted him to be able to adjust to his new Immortal body, but not like this. “Did you think about why my mother would send me to reap you, knowing everything that happened between us?” I snapped.
His features hardened. “Because she wanted to break you. If you reaped me, then your capability of love would have died with me.”
That thought hadn’t occurred to me and his words came at me like a slap across the face. “No,” I stammered. “I refuse to believe that.” I curled my fingers into fists. “If that’s what she really did, then damn her. I’ll prove her wrong to doubt me.”
Will’s gaze finally broke from mine, shifting to the window as silver moonlight broke through the tension of the room. His voice turned low and ominous as he quoted the second law of the Valkyrie. “Don’t question the gods.”
I gave him a humorless laugh. “Or what? She’ll fail me again?” I shook my head and embers flew from the tips of my hair. I hadn’t realized that my Valkyrie powers had started to seep through, although I wasn’t sure if it was to suppress the shadow budding in my chest, or to fuel the flames of my anger. “No, Will. I’m going to question them.” I began counting on my fingers. “Freya. Odin. Dalia. They’ve only managed to make things worse.” Invisible wings sent a warm draft across my shoulder blades as my rage built into an inferno in my chest, driving away the icy chill of Ragnarök. “They’ve only ever kept Ragnarök on the edges of the universe, keeping it at arm’s length and just hoping it’ll stay there.” I straightened. “Perhaps it’s time to face our fears.” A cloud blocked out the moon, leaving only the flicker of flames from the hearth that had roared to life. I growled with determination. “It’s time to fight.”
Tribute
Fighting something that could swallow entire worlds seemed an impossible concept, but I was determined to try. The alternative was unacceptable. I couldn’t just ask Freya to wipe my memories again and I couldn’t fall into the trap of believing that I could trust her. She didn’t have my interests at heart, even if she was only trying to protect me. Taking away my capability of love would destroy me all the same.
I could never give up on love.
Even though my heart tugged me in two different directions, I had to give myself time to sort out my feelings. As much pain as it caused me to consider losing either Tyler or Will, it would hurt so much worse to lose them both.
Having been unable to steer me away from my dangerous course, Will left me alone with my thoughts. “Going to bed,” he’d said, clearly annoyed with me, then disappeared into the dark hall.
Clutching my fingers into fists, I stormed outside. I wasn’t sure if I was looking for Jules or Tyler, but decided that perhaps it was best if I were alone for a little while. I moved deeper into the foliage and wandered, hoping my chest would unclench, but it only seemed to get worse.
I hadn’t realized what had drawn me out at first, but now I sensed it. There was a wrongness in this forest that resonated with the darkness clinging to my soul.
Approaching a tree, I pressed my fingers to the peeling bark. I’d expected the graze of rough nature. Instead, an unexpected icy jolt of power made my jaw clamp shut as electricity slammed through me.
There was so much pain here. I stifled a cry as my heart remembered things my brain couldn’t Grimhildr’s programming bucked under the jolt of power, but held onto my memories in its vice grip.
I wanted to know what had caused so much pain in this forest. I couldn’t imagine this kind of suffering could build up from the instances of kidnappings, even if they’d been taken right here under my fingertips and dragged away into the darkness. This was something deeper… more ancient and terrifying that suggested centuries of pain. When I focused on the sensation that wafted through the woods, I found that I’d been following its trail through the forest. If I kept going, I might find its source.
Swallowing the hard lump in my throat, I followed it. A few ragged steps into the journey, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I wasn’t alone.
I trailed back as much as I could, realizing that the source I sought could very well be a person. I sensed another presence whispering amongst the leaves. Footsteps sounded, too light and swift to be a human’s.
Squinting into the darkness, embers burned in the backs of my eyes and offered me a better view through the darkness. A female silhouette walked through the trees, the branches parting as she went. Her fingers grazed the edges, helping to push the brush aside as if she were swimming through the suffering to get to the other side.
I’d never been good at stealth, but I tugged at any suppressed training I might have had to keep my footsteps light. The further we delved into the woods, the more dead and crunched leaves threatened to give me away. I opted for the softer soil, hoping to keep my presence hidden. I stepped on a twig, the sound reverberating to my sensitive senses and I froze. The silhouette kept moving, oblivious to my error.
A few moments in I realized why I hadn’t been spotted. We’d almost reached the source.
A blue glow emanated at the end of the long trail. I drew in a long breath and forced myself to appraise my surroundings. When I’d come with Will and Tyler to investigate Central Park, we’d made sure to go through every trail. We’d been sure to check every corner and bush. I would have remembered this path, but I was certain that I hadn’t been this way before. The twisted trees bent and intertwined into an arch, making me shiver when I stepped under it as if I’d trespassed into new territory. I kept my eyes on the blue glow that illuminated the waxy branches that were so dense, I couldn’t even see the stars.
Blood thundered in my ears when the silhouette paused, as if considering she might have been followed, then continued on. I gripped my locket
for confidence before following her into the blue glow.
I was glad I’d turned my eyes to my feet to look for leaves or twigs that might give me away. I stifled a gasp at the specks of glass that littered the dark path. When I picked one up, carefully turning it over to inspect it with my molten gaze, I realized it wasn’t glass at all. The fine veins showed that this had once been something alive.
I’d never seen the sap of Yggdrasil, but I had no doubt that this was what it was… at least, what was left of it. Life should have emanated from the translucent husk that stole the heat from my fingertips, but it’d been licked clean.
The silhouette halted and I jumped behind a tree before she turned around. I went still when I finally made out her features. This girl who looked so frightened had a single line of determination running across her jaw was none other than my friend, Jules.
I refused to believe that Jules could possibly be involved in whatever I’d uncovered. I’d trusted her with so much. That kind of betrayal could tip me over the edge.
A part of me wanted to jump out and confront her right away. Surely she had some sort of explanation, but I knew better. I recognized that look on her face because it echoed the same pain that weighed heavy in my heart every day.
Guilt.
The emotion tainted her and permeated the air, helping me to dispel what I had once believed to be innocent. I shouldn’t have underestimated a Huldra.
Jules seemed satisfied and turned back to the wall of thorns, sending them unfurling with a wave of her hand. The limbs glowed green with the power of nature and life. It was such a stark contrast to the suffering and death that surrounded us like a fog.
When the thorns parted, it revealed the sickly treasure trapped inside. A body twisted and bloody twitched with the thorn’s movement and my stomach dropped. Disbelief rooted me to the spot. There was no way this could be real. Jules wasn’t a killer.
Valkyrie Rebellion: Valkyrie Allegiance Book 2 Page 11