His gaze turned haunted. “Then why aren’t you afraid of me?”
With that, he walked out of the room, leaving her alone with only the sound of her rapidly fluttering heart.
Cynthia flipped through the pile of bills she’d picked up on her visit to her office. She had a briefcase full of work, including several phone calls to return. It made sense to spend the morning at her office where she could work quickly and efficiently, but around ten-thirty, she found herself getting restless.
Now she walked up the front stairs to Jonathan’s house and told herself that she was acting crazy. Why had she returned here rather than staying at the headquarters of Mother’s Helper? Several answers came to her at once, but she didn’t like any of them. Not the one that said she wanted to be in Jonathan’s house because being there made her feel as if she was closer to him, nor the one that mentioned something about missing Colton and needing to feel the baby’s warm weight in her arms.
“You know better than to bond with a child,” she told herself sternly as she let herself in the front door. “That’s asking for nothing but trouble.”
As for needing to be in Jonathan’s house to feel closer to him…she didn’t have an answer for that, either.
“Lucinda, it’s me,” she called. “I’m back.”
The housekeeper appeared at the top of the stairs. She held the baby in her arms. “We were playing in his room. He loves that big plastic truck you got him. You know I always read about studies that say boys play with cars and guns because that’s what they’re given, but I think it’s more than that. It’s inside of them.” She tickled Colton’s chin. “You’re just a big boy who’s going to be a strong man, aren’t you, sweetie?”
Colton waved his arms and giggled. He was always happy, always loving, thriving on the attention showered on him by herself and Lucinda.
Cynthia glanced down at her suit. “I need to change out of these clothes, then finish up the work I brought home. Do you want me to take him, or—”
Lucinda cut her off with a quick wave. “I’ll watch him. You know I love to.” She swung around in a wide circle, holding out one of Colton’s arms, as if they were dancing. “I thought maybe I’d teach him the tango later. Women love men who can tango.”
Cynthia laughed as she made her way up the stairs. Lucinda was a wonderful addition to Jonathan’s household and she hoped he understood what a treasure he had in her.
She passed the older woman and the baby still tangoing, then made her way into her bedroom. In a matter of minutes she’d changed into jeans and a sweater, then she sat down at the small desk by the window. An hour later she’d finished paying her bills, had updated her accounts and made most of her phone calls.
With most of her work nearly finished, Cynthia found that her mind started to wander. For one thing, she couldn’t help remembering all that had happened the night before. Not just the kiss, although that had been amazing enough to keep her up most of the night. Being in Jonathan’s arms had been as wonderful the second time as it had been at the ball.
She was still surprised that he didn’t frighten or intimidate her. Maybe it was because she’d come close to death and didn’t want to waste any time. Maybe it was because she had the strong feeling that she was the only one who really saw the truth inside of him. At least she had no regrets about what they’d done the previous night, or if she did, they were regrets that he’d stopped.
She’d never made love with a man. To be honest, she hadn’t thought about it one way or the other. But being with Jonathan like that had made her think about the possibilities.
But as much as she reveled in being with him and however much she wanted to blush at the memory of her own boldness, what she couldn’t escape was what he’d said about his brother. That David had stolen from the company and then had tried to kill him.
She squeezed her eyes shut as pain swept through her. Pain for what Jonathan must be feeling. She couldn’t imagine a brother acting like that. Even though she knew families weren’t perfect and people didn’t always love the way they should, David’s actions were inconceivable.
With that new information, she completely understood Jonathan’s resistance to Colton. On the one hand, Jonathan was fair enough to want to give the innocent child a chance, but on the other, he couldn’t forget who the baby’s father was. She knew now that it was her job to help Jonathan make peace with his past. She would have to help him see that Colton was as much a victim as he was and that together they could heal each other.
A soft knock interrupted her thoughts. Lucinda came in with a tray of coffee and sandwiches. “It’s lunch. You didn’t eat much at breakfast, so I knew you’d be hungry. I already gave Colton his bottle. He’s about out for his nap.”
Cynthia took the offered food. “Thanks, Lucinda,” she said, smiling at the housekeeper. “You’re too good to me.”
The older woman shrugged. “You’re easy. And at least I have something to do now. Mr. Jonathan is never home. He never entertains, nothing.”
Cynthia thought about her questions and wondered if Lucinda would help. “Did you work here before Jonathan’s father died?”
Lucinda sat in one of the wing chairs and nodded. Her short, dark curls bobbed with the movement. “I’ve worked here nearly fifteen years. Old Mr. Steele hired me. Mr. David was still at home on school holidays, but Mr. Jonathan was gone.”
Cynthia hesitated. “Jonathan told me that he and his brother didn’t get along.”
Lucinda snorted in disgust. “Mr. David was a bad seed. I know we’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but if anyone deserved it, it’s him. Always in trouble, that one. And his father just looked the other way. Mr. Jonathan worked hard, he did great things with the company, but old Mr. Steele never noticed. Nothing was good enough. Mr. Jonathan is brilliant with the businesses, but did his father say even one kind word? No.”
She paused, then pressed her lips together. “Mr. Jonathan loved this house. His father knew that, yet he left it to Mr. David. I never understood why. I was so angry. I told Mr. David I was quitting. I wouldn’t work for him. Always with the parties and the women, that one. Even after he married, there were women.” Her gaze narrowed. “Mr. David, he laughed at me and told me not to worry. That as soon as he took title of the property, he would be selling it back to his brother.”
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I overheard Mr. David on the phone with his lawyer. He did what he said, but he charged Mr. Jonathan twice what the house was worth. And Mr. Jonathan paid it, too. Because he loved this house more than anything. I told him I was happy to work for him, so he kept me, too.”
Cynthia didn’t know what to say. Everything was so confusing. “I didn’t know it could be like that between brothers.”
Lucinda nodded. “I know. It’s terrible. I never liked Mr. David, but Mr. Jonathan is different. Sometimes I think he is very sad inside. Like his heart is broken. I tell him to get married, to have babies. They will make him feel better. But he tells me I’m a romantic and it isn’t that easy.”
She rose to her feet and shrugged. Her expression turned shrewd. “Maybe now he’ll listen, eh?”
“I think he and Colton can help each other,” she said.
“Oh, yes, the baby. But that is not what I was thinking.”
She winked and left before Cynthia could respond.
Once she was gone, Cynthia sat alone in her room and thought about what Lucinda had told her. There was so much pain in Jonathan’s past. No wonder he resisted making emotional connections. Yet all his actions spoke for themselves. He saw what was right and he did it. Whether that meant helping out in the community, or worrying about her while she was in the hospital. When she looked at him she saw a strong man, but one who was very alone. Her heart ached for him.
She stood and quickly left her room. Across the hall, Colton’s door stood open. She stepped inside and crossed over to the crib standing in the center of the room.
The baby was
n’t quite asleep. He opened his eyes at her approach, then smiled broadly when he spotted her. Big blue eyes crinkled with laughter. Fat arms waved as he silently asked to be picked up.
“No, you don’t, young man,” she said softly. “It’s your nap time. I’m just stopping by because I haven’t seen you all morning and I’m a sucker for a handsome face like yours.”
She touched his cheek, then his hand. His pudgy fingers closed around one of hers. As his grip tightened, so did a thin band encircling her heart. She knew she was in trouble. Bad enough to fall for the uncle, but far worse to fall for the child, as well. If she let herself care too much, when it was time to leave, she would find herself broken in two.
Chapter 7
Jonathan arrived home the following Wednesday at four. He told himself that his earlier than usual arrival had nothing to do with a vague sense of guilt brought on by Cynthia’s comments about his relations—or lack thereof—with his nephew. If he wanted to leave the office before his usual time, that was his prerogative. After all, he ran Steele Enterprises.
But as he pulled his car into the wide, five-car garage, he knew that he was lying. Even though he’d tried to ignore everything she said, he couldn’t forget her words. While he had no interest in Colton, he didn’t want to repeat the sins of his father. He remembered what it had been like growing up in a house where his only blood relative loathed the sight of him.
He entered the house and tried to figure out what he was going to say to Cynthia. Unfortunately his actions were going to add to her conviction that he was one of the good guys. He would have thought their last time together would have cured her of that, but she was nothing if not perverse.
The foyer was quiet and empty—usual occurrences for the large house. It had been many years since these walls had heard much in the way of laughter. But even as he registered sadness at the thought, he heard a faint sound from upstairs.
He climbed the stairs. The sound turned into singing, accompanied by many high-pitched squeals. Jonathan followed the noise into Colton’s room and from there into the bathroom. He found Cynthia standing by the long vanity. She supported Colton, who sat in a small, blue, plastic tub. A small tape player stood on the closed toilet lid and she sang along with several high-pitched voices. The tape had been made for children but she seemed to know all the words.
Although her back was to him, Jonathan could see her clearly in the mirror. She wore her blond hair in a ponytail high on the top of her head. A damp white T-shirt clung to her chest, outlining her full breasts. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, but her skin was lightly flushed from the warm water.
Colton squealed again. Cynthia looked down at him and smiled. Jonathan saw the softness in her expression, the tender curve of her mouth. He briefly wondered if his mother had ever bothered to look at him like that and decided that even if she had, the feelings must have faded, because she’d managed to walk out on him without ever once looking back.
Cynthia glanced up and saw his reflection in the mirror. Her smile broadened. “Now you know how I fill my day,” she said. “It’s not exactly the same world as high finance or whatever it is you do, but I like it.”
Her jeans were a faded shade of blue and they hugged her hips and thighs with a thoroughness he’d been intent on himself the other night. He still remembered how her rear had felt when he’d cupped it. Firm yet yielding. He’d wanted to peel off her clothes and feel that bare part of her.
“Are you really just twenty-six?” he asked abruptly, knowing that he wasn’t going to like the answer.
“Of course.” She grinned. “Hey it could be worse.”
He winced. “You’re practically jail bait. I’m thirty-seven.”
“I know.” Laughter danced in her eyes. “You kiss pretty good for an old man.”
He knew she was teasing, but the phrase definitely hit below the belt. “You kiss pretty good for someone barely out of her teens.”
“How rude,” she said indignantly. “Is this where I remind you that I’ve been legal for several years now? In fact after college I actually left Grand Springs and made my way to the big city.”
She lifted Colton out of the bath and placed him on a fluffy towel she had waiting beside the basin. When the baby was securely wrapped, she cradled him in her arms and walked back into the bedroom.
“What big city would that be?” he asked.
“Chicago. After college I had a job with an advertising firm there. They considered me ‘high potential’ and I was within a couple of months of getting on their management fast track when Frank was injured.”
The humor fled her face as she set the baby on the changing stand. She dried him off as she spoke. “Then I came home and left all that behind. So you see, I’m not the hick you think.”
“Okay, you had a whole year in Chicago. But you live at home now.”
“Only because it’s easier for my mom. We’ve been talking lately that it’s time for me to get back out on my own. She has things pretty much under control.”
“Will you go back to Chicago?”
She shook her head. “My life is here now. I enjoyed my time away but I’m not really that much of a city girl. I like Grand Springs. I learned that I want to be close to my family.” She reached for a diaper and secured it around Colton’s behind.
Jonathan leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest. “Do you regret what you gave up? It sounds like you were on your way with the advertising firm.”
She looked at him. “I don’t regret a minute of it. When Frank was dying, he asked me to help out my mom. I would have done it anyway, but even if that hadn’t been part of my plan I would have dropped everything to honor his request. He’d given me so much over the years. He was both surrogate father and big brother to me. I loved him and I’ll always miss him. Being home made me feel closer to him.”
She spoke with a sincerity he couldn’t help believing. But even as he heard the words, he dismissed them. Mostly because he couldn’t relate to what she was saying. How could anyone inspire that much devotion? It didn’t make sense.
“After a few months I got the idea of starting my own business,” she said. She opened one of the drawers below the changing table and pulled out a one-piece jumper thing. Despite Colton’s attempts to squirm away, she expertly dressed the baby with practiced ease.
“You’re good at what you do,” he said, wondering how it was possible for something as small as a baby to grow into an adult.
“I love my work,” she admitted. “And you’re the reason I had the opportunity to get it all started.”
He groaned. “Don’t go there. I’m not in the mood for the saint speech.”
“All right.” She picked up the dressed baby and settled him in her arms, facing Jonathan. “That’s your uncle,” she told Colton. “Can you say Uncle Jonathan?”
Colton blew a raspberry instead. Cynthia laughed. “He won’t be talking for a few more months, but he’ll get there.”
Jonathan stared at the infant. He could see some of his brother in the child’s features. Or maybe he was seeing his own father instead. He stiffened slightly as he realized that for all his faults, David had managed to create a family for himself. He’d married Lisa and had had a baby. Someone to carry on his name and the legacy of the Steele family.
“How is he adjusting?” he asked, pointing at the baby.
“Not bad, considering.” Cynthia nuzzled the top of his head. “He’s a sweetheart. Some babies only bond with their parents and don’t take to anyone else easily, but Colton is open to attention from all comers. He’s very good-natured and healthy. The kind of baby who is easy to love.”
Love. Something else Jonathan didn’t believe in. Love was dangerous. It too easily turned to hate and vindictiveness. Marriage and children had never been a part of his plan. His cold, empty childhood had told him he never wanted to put any innocent baby through the same kind of hell he’d endured. Watching whatever feelings his father had had
for him and his mother turn to anger and loathing had taught him that no love lasted very long.
“Do you want to hold him?” Cynthia asked, holding out Colton.
Jonathan straightened and took a step back. “No.”
“You’re going to have to do it sometime.”
“That’s what I pay you for.”
She wrinkled her nose at him, then turned her attention to Colton. “Uncle Jonathan is very stubborn. Can you say stubborn?”
Her question earned her a faint smile.
Jonathan ignored the exchange. He turned to leave, then paused. “The funeral is Saturday. You said Colton should be there. You still think that?”
“Yes. He won’t remember it, but when he’s older he’ll want to know that he was there.”
“It’s at one in the afternoon.”
“We’ll be ready.”
“You don’t have to go. Lucinda will be there.”
“I don’t mind,” she told him. “I want to be there for both of you.”
He almost didn’t believe her. After all, her comment implied a form of caring. But then he reminded himself that this was Cynthia he was talking about and caring was the one thing she did best.
One day she would learn that being that soft was going to make her life hell. He only hoped that he wasn’t the one to teach her that lesson.
The hillside graves stood side by side. Cynthia swallowed the tears burning her eyes and the back of her throat. She didn’t cry for Lisa and David Steele—after all she’d never met the couple. Instead her sadness came from memories of Frank’s funeral and the realization that Colton would never know his parents.
She hugged the baby closer to her. Colton responded with a cooing sound that eased some of the ache in her heart.
“Are you all right?” Jonathan asked softly from his place beside her.
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