“I’m sorry, Ebere.” Fae said it on reflex, but Ebere just shrugged and walked towards the next room. Just as they started working again she spoke up.
“What about you? How long have you been serving?”
Fae tried to stifle the giggle that bubbled up, but it only came out in a loud laugh, and once she started she couldn’t stop. Ebere was just staring at her as she lost it, and she ended up clutching her sides as she sat down on the floor. It had been so long since she’d laughed like this, years, decades since her cheeks had hurt from laughing.
Oh yeah, the drug was definitely in full swing.
Ebere stepped in front of her and touched her forehead, looking into her eyes. “Are you serious? Your pupils are huge, and you’re sweating like crazy. Master gave you the Oblivion didn’t he?”
Fae tried to control her smile as her laughter wound down and she patted Ebere’s hand. “I told you he disagreed with my decision.”
“It looks like a full dose though.” Ebere was staring at her, her brow furrowed in concern.
“It probably was, but it doesn’t matter I’ll be fine.” Fae pushed herself to her feet and felt a little dizzy before she grabbed the bedpost and steadied herself, the last of the giggles fading away with the hint of nausea.
“You’ll be fine in the morning when you light up. Right now you haven’t eaten and you got a full dose of Oblivion –”
“I will be fine. Just let it go, okay?” Fae cut her off and shook off the dizziness to get back to work. Ebere stood with her arms crossed on the other side of the bed, ignoring the sheet that Fae had tossed across to her.
“Tell me your story.” She pointed at the sheet on the bed. “Tell me your story while we finish these rooms and I’ll stay and help and …and I won’t bring up the Oblivion again.”
“You don’t want to hear my story, Ebere.” Fae smoothed her side of the bed, but then Ebere ripped the sheet out of her hands, ruining her efforts.
“Yes. Yes, I do. Everyone wants to know but everyone is terrified to ask. Now you know mine and I want to know yours.” Ebere held tight to the sheet as Fae tried to pull it back, and part of her wanted to attack the girl for making the task more difficult. She hated being cornered, hated being forced to do anything. Her whole fucking life was being forced to do things, and now this girl who had lived the tiniest fraction of Fae’s life was trying to bully her into telling a pointless story. It took a deep breath and a silent prayer to Eltera before she could speak again.
“I’m sorry I asked about your past, but there’s no point in telling you my story. Now, can I have the sheet back?”
“What do you mean there’s no point? I’m here helping you, we have six rooms left, just tell me your damn story!” Ebere had actually raised her voice, she’d actually cursed.
“There’s no point in telling you my story, because you won’t believe it. My story is a myth, it’s a fucking fairy tale, a legend that I doubt my own people even remember. It’s a waste of –”
“Then tell me the fairy tale!” The girl threw the wadded up sheet at her and Fae caught it. “You spend all your time with this giant wall around you, and you’re nice to everyone, and you do things for us, but you don’t let us in. You won’t be our friend, and what else do we have but each other? Stop trying so hard to be alone and just tell me your story so I can understand!”
“You’re not going to believe me.” Fae clenched her jaw, her fingers tightening in the sheet as she remembered the times in her past she’d tried to explain what she was, and how she’d come to be. The ones who’d called her a liar, the ones who had beat her, demanded she repent, commanded her to deny Eltera. All she had anymore was faith. Faith and the bands to remind her that Eltera was still out there – somewhere.
“I think you might be surprised what I will believe from a girl who lights up like she’s filled with fire every morning.” Ebere gestured at her, “And I’ve seen those things on your wrists before. I’ve seen you in pain, but I didn’t understand why until today. Until you told me the bands reacted to his commands and hurt you. I’m still here, still ready to help you finish these rooms, and I’m not running away. I just want to understand more about you.”
“So you can tell the others?” The anger was bleeding out of Fae, replaced by the shimmery buzz of the Oblivion in her system. It was hard to maintain anger for long while bordering on some kind of euphoric high.
“If you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t.”
Fae laughed a little to herself. “It doesn’t matter. Tell all of them. Tell them all about the god-touched warrior who failed her goddess and ended up on her knees for eternity.”
“Fae?” Ebere’s voice was much softer now, and when she looked up at her she once again looked like the beautiful, friendly girl that Fae liked to sit with. “I’m listening. Just tell me.”
“Alright, fine.” Fae fluffed out the sheet and this time Ebere caught it and helped her get back to straightening the room. The last thing any of them needed was Butler checking in before they were done.
Thinking of her past was like opening a locked room that she had long ago barricaded with heavy furniture and chains and nailed up boards. It was the stuff that normally tore her to shreds on the inside, but with the Oblivion burning her up and making her feel fuzzy and light the memories didn’t seem to cut as sharply. She swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth and steeled herself to talk about it.
“You’re not going to believe me, but here it goes. First, I’m over two thousand years old,” Fae glanced up to see Ebere’s mouth hanging open and she shook her head, “and no, I don’t know my exact age. I haven’t exactly kept track. I do know that I spent fifty-three years as a warrior for my goddess, Eltera, and for the seventeen years before that I was just a daughter.”
“And since then?”
“I’ve been a slave.” The complete shock on Ebere’s face slowly morphed into that pained look of pity that Fae hated, and she stopped her before she launched into some long apology for things she had no power over. For things she hadn’t even been alive for. “You said you wanted to hear the story.”
“I do, it’s just –”
“Okay, then listen.” She cut her off again, trying to figure out where to start. How to explain how she’d found herself on that battlefield the day everything had changed. “I guess I’ll start at the beginning… I can tell you my mother never wanted me. Pregnancy was very hard on her, and she almost died giving birth to my middle sister, but my father wanted a son very badly and so after my two older sisters he convinced her to try again, hoping for a son. Instead? I was born. She hated him for making her have another child, and so on the day of my birth my mother told him I was his responsibility, even though I was a daughter. Surprisingly, my father was just fine with that.”
“He was a great man. As soon as I could walk he took me with him everywhere. He worshipped all of our gods, of course, but he was a man of nature and his chosen goddess was Eltera because she was nature – life and death, ends and beginnings, and he loved the balance that worshipping her represented. He taught me how to help things grow. What plants to eat and not eat, which ones healed, which ones hurt, and how to make sacrifices to the gods.” Her memories burst forth from the room she’d kept them in, and she was overwhelmed by the bearded face of her father, laughing and singing. Her sisters laughing, her eldest sister’s little boy. Even the way her mother would hum as she tended the sheep, it all came back like a whirlwind. The image that stuck was of her father’s excited face as he woke her on the last day she’d ever see him. Fae cleared her throat, “And one day, after being so faithful to Eltera his entire life, Eltera spoke to my father.”
“What did she say?” Ebere was rapt with attention, and Fae couldn’t help but smile at the bittersweet memories as she let herself sink into them, no matter how painful.
● ● ●
It was shortly after dawn when her father woke her. She had her face shoved into the wool and deer skins tha
t formed her bed and she groaned as he shook her shoulder.
“Neala.” His deep voice roused her, speaking her name with the softest tones. When she turned over he was smiling broadly through his beard, and his dark hair was hanging in curtains above her. “I have had a vision.” The old language rolled off his tongue like music.
She sat up and turned to face him, excitement waking her even though the chill air would have usually made her burrow back into bed, “A vision?”
“Yes! Eltera appeared to me in a dream, she has asked us to come to her in the southern woods tonight.” Her father was obviously glowing with pride, but the idea that their goddess, the Eltera, would have spoken with him was almost beyond comprehension. He shook her shoulder gently and tugged her off the bed. “We must hurry. It will take the day to travel there.”
“Wait! What has she asked of us?” Neala’s head was spinning. She couldn’t fathom seeing Eltera, the goddess she had grown up learning so much about, worshipping, praying to. Every ancient story of her and her power, every blessing requested when one of the sheep was lambing – to see her was a dream made real.
“To come to her, she says she has great plans for us.” He clapped his hands together, his infectious grin making her smile as well, “Come now, get up and prepare for the journey.”
Checking to make sure her father had not woken her mother, she got up and grabbed her wool cloak to follow him. He was putting some dried venison into a bag, and she handed him his cloak, which she knew he would forget without her getting it for him. He smiled and took it, and then pointed at the pot of porridge on the hearth. He had scooped some out into a bowl already so she started eating. “How long will we be gone?”
“Only Eltera knows that, but are you not a little excited, my girl?” He asked and she nodded quickly. “Good! Finish up so we can leave.” He stepped outside into the damp morning air.
She could feel the draft and knew it was cold so she pulled the cloak on and left the bowl near the porridge before following him outside with only a brief glance back at her mother, still asleep.
“Let’s go,” he said with a broad smile. Breathing in the mist that floated over the ground, he started walking south out of the village and she followed, keeping pace with him. She turned back to look at their small home, and it felt strangely like a goodbye, but she turned back to catch up with her father. They had an easy silence between them formed in years of walking the woods together, of watching the animals and looking for plants. As the sun rose it grew light, but the gray skies stayed. It was beautiful in its own way, the swirl of the clouds above them making patterns she could look for through the trees. They talked a few times about different herbs they needed to gather, some for cooking and others for healing, making a mental list of what to watch for. In the excitement to get to the place chosen for the meeting, they didn’t even stop to eat but chewed the venison while they walked. In the evening they finally came to a stop, their excitement about the possibilities of what could happen the only thing keeping the exhaustion at bay.
“Is this it?” Neala’s eyes scanned the meadow they had stepped into; all soft green grasses with large stones that had been placed in a circle surrounding a larger flat stone in the center. The fading sunlight filtered through the trees leaving them in twilight. Her father nodded and pointed across at two people sitting on the ground. It was another man with a girl near her own age.
“Eltera must have asked others to come.” He reached over and rubbed her back, giving her his warm grin that split his beard and showed his teeth. “The important thing is we are here to see whatever will happen.” Over the next hour the meadow grew dark and two other pairs appeared, both a man with a girl. Quick conversation among them confirmed that Eltera had asked them to come and the girls were the daughters of the men.
They were talking together when the earth started to shake beneath their feet, a loud rumbling filling the air just before a bright burst of light filled the meadow. Neala grabbed onto her father to keep her footing, panicked gasps moving through the group. As the earth calmed the light faded to reveal Eltera standing behind the stone in the center that resembled a large table. She had the most perfect, elegant features. She was beyond beautiful, standing over eight feet tall with long brown hair that fell to her waist, and a deep green dress edged with gold designs wrapped around her. A soft golden glow came off of her skin, lighting the ground around her. It was actually her. A goddess. Everyone had fallen silent, staring in awe, but she just smiled.
“You have all come. I am humbled by your dedication and your faith.” Eltera’s voice rang out, echoing loudly across the meadow, musical and strong. “What I ask of you today is no small gift, but it will change the future of all of your lands. It will allow your people the opportunity to thrive without fear, to live fully, and to prosper.” When no one responded Eltera smiled, and it reminded Neala of what it felt like to stand in sunlight. “For what I ask, you must have faith in me and my hope for all of you.”
“We do, Eltera. Our faith in you carried us here, as it has carried us always.” Neala’s father spoke powerfully, his deep voice carrying easily. The other men quickly nodded, speaking their own affirmations. Eltera’s eyes turned to the girls, and her smile grew.
“And what of you, young ones? Do you have faith in me?” Each of the girls nodded and stepped forward a little, stumbling over their words to confirm their faith.
“Good. Come to the stone and kneel before it.” Eltera waved her hand and small balls of light appeared around them, lighting the area. The girls stepped up and knelt down, and Eltera turned her eyes to the men. “And you, my faithful, stand behind your daughters.” They obeyed, and her father placed his broad hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently to confirm he was there. Power hummed in the air, and it smelled like the air after a lightning strike.
Scalded and thrumming with tension that seemed to buzz under Neala’s skin.
Eltera took a slow breath as she walked in front of them on the other side of the table. Her voice was solemn when she began to speak, “There is a darkness on the people of this land. Hatred and violence and war taint what could be a great and powerful people. I have promised that my faithful can undo this darkness, can free the people of this land to be prosperous once again. I have promised that peace is possible. But to do this, I need warriors. I need your strength to fight this darkness back, for I cannot do it myself. Not directly.” Her pacing paused, and she stood across from them. Neala almost shivered with the pulse of power coming from the goddess. It was almost making her dizzy to be this close, and then Eltera made eye contact with her. The shocking, unreal blue of the goddess’ eyes was like the sky on the clearest day of summer.
“I need you. I need each of you to give yourselves over to me, so that together we can lead the land into the light again.” Eltera waved a hand again and before each of the girls a stone knife appeared on the table with a clatter. One of the girls yelped in surprise, and her father started to speak but stopped himself when Eltera began speaking again. “Tonight, I ask each of you for your mortal lives, and to my faithful I ask for the sacrifice to leave your daughters in my care.”
There were gasps, and a few mumbled words between father and child, but neither Neala nor her father moved at all. Some part of her had known when she left that morning that she wouldn’t be back. It had all felt strangely surreal, and now, in the presence of Eltera, it felt right. Neala was about to reach for the knife when Eltera raised a hand.
“I swear that you will live, young ones, but you must have faith. If you are ready to join me and take on this task, simply hand the knife to your fathers. They know what is required to make a sacrifice to the gods.” Eltera clasped her hands and waited. Power rolled off her in waves of golden light, but her face was calm and gentle. Neala almost smiled, because while the other girls may not have been allowed to attend sacrifices – she had. Her father had taught her everything he could, and she had never been excluded simply because she was
a girl. There was no doubt in her mind what would happen when she handed her father the knife.
Taking off her cloak Neala turned around and set it at her father’s feet, and he looked down at her and held her chin in his hands. His eyes were shining in the lights Eltera had formed, but no tears fell. Leaning down he spoke in her ear, “My daughter, my lovely Neala… you are the one I waited for. I knew that I was meant to have another child, but I did not know that Eltera would bring me you. You have grown to be a beautiful woman, a woman with strength of spirit and of heart. I do not think even Eltera knows fully how much of a gift I give her today. For the rest of my days… I will be less for you made my heart whole. I love you, my girl.” With that he kissed her forehead, and Neala tried to hold back the tears, to be strong like him, but a few fell anyway.
She wanted to respond, to speak all the feelings in her heart, but when her mouth opened to speak no words could match his and so she simply nodded and whispered, “And I love you, father.” Straightening her back, she swallowed and turned back to face Eltera. She was the first to take up the knife in front of her; the edge was so sharp that the light caught it in a thin line. Looking across the stone table at Eltera, she handed the knife over her shoulder to her father. Eltera looked into her eyes and nodded once as Neala lifted her chin and her father placed the stone knife at her neck. The pain was a flicker inside her, a weakening flame.
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