“I’m pretty sure Eltera killed Nikola.” Fae said it softly.
“WHAT?!” He shouted and nearby tables looked over, a few patrons glaring.
She leaned forward and hissed at him. “Holy shit, be quiet, Kiernan.” Fae pushed a hand through her hair and sighed, she’d already said the worst of it, now she had to explain. “I wasn’t sure at first. I really wasn’t. When you first took me to your apartment and interrogated me over it, I was still in such shock that any of it had happened that I wasn’t thinking clearly… but it’s the only thing that makes sense. I know I don’t have that kind of power in me, she just used me to channel it like she does whenever she heals me in the morning. I glowed with the power of the gods, just like in the mornings, and like you said – I’ve never been able to control fire like that before.”
“But Eltera is a goddess of nature.” Kiernan said the thought aloud, his forehead wrinkling in concentration. Fae nodded and he blew out a breath. “That’s really the only solution, but she shouldn’t be able to do that. She’s bound by Gormahn, she has the actual manacles on her. She shouldn’t be able to use any of her power -”
“And yet, somehow, she’s always been able to heal us. Even the morning after the battle.” Fae shrugged, picking at one of the plates of food. “Maybe you’re not the only one Gormahn’s power is waning with.”
Kiernan’s eyes widened. “Maybe.”
“Listen, I didn’t want to talk about this tonight. Dates are supposed to be fun, right?” She forced a smile.
He shook himself and nodded. Then they started talking about lighter subjects and the crowded restaurant, the stress of their predicament, everything seemed to fade away. He was so passionate and animated when he spoke about the things he cared about. His plans for the garden, a hiking trail he wanted to go on with her, an insta-trip to the Galapagos for a day on the beach in the middle of winter. As he talked about the future he insisted that the world was open to her, and that they could go anywhere.
“I want you to be happy, I want to give you a good life more than anything.” Kiernan was looking down at their hands again, still intertwined on the table. “And I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me, Fae.”
She ran her fingertips across the dark line that started in his palm and trailed up his wrist and then under the cuff of his shirt. She watched him shiver before he smiled at her, and she forced a smile back.
She hated that they had kind of flipped roles on the positivity front, now he was the one being hopeful and wonderful – and all her mind was giving her was the fact that nothing good ever lasted long in her life. She was able to be happy in the moment, to find the good in the present, but the future? He was making plans for a future that may not even exist, and she wanted to get excited about them. She wanted to do all of that, but the future had always been a dark place, a doomed place, full of new masters and potential cruelties and lost friends.
“What is it?” His brow furrowed, and she shook herself.
“It’s nothing, keep going. I want to hear more about all the places in the world we can see since we have Air Laochra to travel with.”
“Fae… if you don’t want to go to those places, we don’t have to, and… if you’re not sure you want me there for any of it –”
“Stop.” She shook her head. “That’s not it, Kiernan. These last few weeks are the happiest I’ve been since before – well, since before. I just kind of feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. You said you feel like you’re dreaming and you’re afraid you’ll wake up? Well, I have the same feeling, except I’m waiting for something to ruin this.” She gestured between the two of them and then took a hearty drink of wine. “I’m all about celebrating the good in the now, but I usually try not to think about the future.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just hard not to think about the future when I finally want one.” His shy smile made her want to kiss him again. She wanted to ignore the mortals in the restaurant and climb onto his lap and kiss him slowly, let the warmth build between them until it erased all their doubts and concerns.
He said he wanted a future with her.
A future with someone who cared for her, who understood her, who respected her – and someone who wouldn’t die on her.
“It’s okay, I like listening to you talk about it. It’s hopeful, it’s… beautiful.”
“I do have one more plan, but it’s something I have to show you and I can’t do that here, so let’s change the subject. Something lighter. What’s your happiest memory? The truth, and while it may be difficult, don’t just say something with me in it. I already know how awesome I am.” Kiernan grinned, and she laughed. He could be so freaking arrogant, but she knew that right now it was a show to lighten her mood. His eyes reflected the dim light around them and it made his face look softer, less stressed and concerned than he had in the weeks prior.
“Umm, something without you? Now won’t that be difficult.” She grabbed her wine, resting her lips on that glass as she brought her mind back to the question. When had she last been really happy?
Her father’s face flashed into her memory and it felt like a punch in the stomach.
She wished for a moment he could be there to see this place in her life, this good and peaceful place. He would have approved of Kiernan, someone who worked in the soil and had a respect for things that grew. Someone who was brave even though he was damaged, still good even though he’d been made to do terrible things, someone who was still able to care even when he’d lost everything. Her father had always said she’d find someone who respected her for her strengths, and protected her where she was weak, and Kiernan seemed to fit the bill. Which was both exhilarating and terrifying.
“My father is my happiest memory.” Fae smiled a bit, and he nodded to encourage her to elaborate. She took a breath and let the door of her memory open wide, and she was flooded with the incredible childhood she’d been given. Her eyes started to burn with tears, but she pushed them down and started talking. “There’s so much of who he was that made me who I am, it’s hard to even put into words.”
“He gave me a childhood to envy. I can remember one time, when I was maybe ten, it rained so hard that the village almost flooded. Tiny rivers were flowing through the paths. Everything was coated in slippery mud, and pools of filthy water clogged with branches and leaves and dirt were sitting in all the low spaces. I was amazed by it, by the power of it all. But my mother didn’t want us going out in it because if we ruined our clothes she’d have to mend them or make new ones. My sisters listened, but I stood at the entrance to our home watching the rain pour down as if one of the gods was emptying a giant bucket over us. My father had been grinding herbs into poultices, listening to my mother berate me for standing in the doorway, and he suddenly just got up, grabbed my hand, and dragged me out into the rain. My mother started screaming at him, but he just pulled me farther away into the storm until her voice faded into the thunder and the rain.”
“We were soaked in seconds, our legs were coated in mud, but we laughed and celebrated the power that nature, Eltera, was wielding in that moment. We ended up slipping and falling in the mud, and my hair was coated with it and matted down, and he helped me up. I remember starting to cry and being terrified of what my mother was going to do and he shook me and said, ‘Clothing can be fixed, but you should never tame yourself.’ And then he just hugged me. He hugged me even though both of us were filthy, and soaked to the bones from the downpour. I just – I felt perfectly, unconditionally loved in that moment.”
“He sounds like a great man.” Kiernan was watching her with a thoughtful look.
“He was.” Fae smiled into her glass. “I think you two would have gotten along. He always had his hands in the dirt too, and he always liked my attitude.”
“We could have commiserated on how we dealt with you, Glowworm.” Kiernan grinned and Fae threw one of the bread rolls at him. He caught the projectile, and laughed before taking a bite and setting it on a plate of mostly untouc
hed lasagna. “You know, Branna was feisty too, and such a temper. She was never afraid to speak her mind to me, never afraid to slap me upside the head if I did something foolish. I think Lann would have been just as defiant given time.”
“So you’re saying you have a type?” Fae laughed and he joined her, nodding.
“I guess I do have a type.”
“Your turn. Happiest memory.”
“That’s easy, I think about it all the time. It’s the day Lann walked for the first time.” His smile faded a little as his eyes focused on some point in the middle distance while he reached for the memory. Fae tried to picture what a little boy with blond hair and Kiernan’s features might have looked like, then he started talking again. “It was a gorgeous day, I’d been digging up the soil to plant some things in our little garden, and as I walked back towards our house Branna was holding his hands so he could take steps with her. Then, all of a sudden, he just let go, eyes on me, and waddled towards me. I felt like my chest was going to burst with pride. Pride in him, and for how much I loved Branna for giving him to me. As soon as he got to me he just started laughing, and then Branna was cheering for him. ‘A leanbh na páirte’, my dear child, she said, over and over. It’s a good memory, and I’m glad to have it of them.”
“I’m glad you didn’t lose that memory.” Fae finished her glass and set it down.
“Me too.” He had a wistful smile on his lips, and Kiernan’s glass was empty as well as he twirled the stem between his fingers. There was a pause in the conversation as they both pulled themselves back to the present, leaving their memories in the dust of the past.
“So what’s next? I think the kitchen has been thoroughly exhausted by your orders.” Fae grinned, and Kiernan looked around at all the plates and shrugged.
“I don’t think the kitchen will mind the money, and this place donates food to the local shelter.” He stood up and extended his hand to help her from her chair. “Ready for the second half of the date?”
“Absolutely.” Fae took his hand and he pulled her up. “What’s the second half?”
“Trust me, it’s better to see it.” He didn’t release her hand as they walked out of the restaurant, and only broke it for a moment to pull on their coats. Once outside he gripped her hand a little tighter, but he didn’t lead her towards the parking lot. Instead, he moved them around the side of the building. Fae raised an eyebrow as they stepped under an old metal fire escape. His hands cupped her face and then his lips found hers and the fierce kiss burned her lips. The heat between them built and she clenched her fists into the lapels of his coat as her back hit the brick wall. She could feel the chill of it through her coat, but she didn’t care. His hands were moving down her side and they pressed against the curve of her waist as his body leaned against hers. Her heart was racing as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. When they finally separated, they were both gasping, breath intermingling in clouds between them in the cool air.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all through dinner.” Kiernan smiled down at her, his thumb tracing her cheekbone before moving down over her lips.
“No complaints here.” Fae smiled, trying to calm her heart rate and ease the blush in her cheeks. “Is this where we go to the movies?”
“We’re not going to the movies, I have something much better. You have to close your eyes though, so the surprise isn’t spoiled.” Kiernan placed another kiss on her lips and she closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. “Hold on to me, okay?”
Chapter Twenty
Badenoch, Scotland
Kiernan leaned forward and breathed in the scent of her hair; he loved how she smelled. He never wanted to wake up without it, without her, ever again, and depending on how she reacted to his surprise that might be possible. Fae’s arms tightened around his neck again and he focused on their homeland. The odd tugging sensation filled him as they shifted, and he had to take a deep breath to push back the temporary dizziness before he opened his eyes.
The sky was still dark in the early hours of the morning, and there was a fine mist falling that made the chill in the air a little stronger. Her blue eyes opened as she swayed in his arms from the aftereffects, but he shook his head down at her.
“Not yet, just a moment more.” He smiled when she closed her eyes again. Twisting his head around, Kiernan tried to pinpoint the place he had visited only a handful of times before, usually when she was sleeping, but he had studied it on maps carefully.
He turned Fae in his arms so she was facing the craggy mountains where the paler gray of the coming dawn made their outline evident. There were trees nearby but they were mostly in a wide open space that smelled as green as it was. It was even more beautiful in the daylight.
“You brought me somewhere wet.” Fae was smiling when she said it, but he could see that the mist was starting to make her hair stick to her skin and droplets were gathering to slide across her cheeks, down her chest and beneath the neck of her sweater. He pulled his eyes away, reminding himself why he was there.
“Yes, it’s raining a little, but I thought you might remember how much it rained in our homeland.” Her eyes snapped open and he felt her body tense against his. She shook slightly as she leaned down in front of him, and put her hands on the ground. He stepped away to give her space, and she pressed her fingers into the earth.
“This is our land?” Her gaze turned up to him and he could see the tears forming at the edge of her eyes. All he could do was nod. “I haven’t been back. I never got to come back. No one ever…”
“I know… I was thinking, if you want, this could be where we move next, since I need to move on from Seattle before people start noticing I look closer to twenty than thirty. I actually bought the land last week. I was trying to think of somewhere you’d want to live that’s a little less populated, less encounters with mortals, but there’s still a village a few kilometers away for things you might want or need, or for a little social interaction.”
“I used private funds through some shell organizations, the Laochra have no way to track it as mine, and as far as Cole or Eryn or any of the others popping in – they couldn’t get here because they won’t know about it. We have to have to be able to see a place, to picture the space to appear there. So, you’d be safe here. I promise.” Kiernan cleared his throat as he finished his ramble. She was looking at the ground again, grass springing from between her fingers. Then her eyes started to bounce between the mountains, the trees in the distance, the hazy sky, and the earth under her hands.
“Also, I, uh, I had a local contractor draft up some plans for two cottages on this land, although there’s more than enough room for an entire village. I just didn’t want you to feel trapped with me. Ever. And I can still build two if you want.” He was trying to talk but her eyes found his again and locked on, and in the dim light of the night sky it was hard to see her expression.
“You don’t need to build two, Kiernan.” Fae stood up again, stepping so close to him that her chest brushed against his. “I’ve actually grown quite comfortable being cramped into a small space with you.”
“Is that right?” He wanted to reach out for her, his hand twitched with the urge to tuck the damp hair behind her ears, but he knew he had to let her take the lead. He couldn’t push this.
“Yes. Even if you build two, I have a feeling we’d only use one.” Her fingers nimbly shifted the buttons of his coat until it was open and she slid her arms inside to hug him. Kiernan gave in and brushed her hair back before returning the hug. For a moment, this gentle side of her made her seem so fragile. He wanted to protect her from anything or anyone that would even think about hurting her. In an instant he felt the dark one that he kept at bay surge inside him as he thought of someone laying a hand on her again, and he had no doubts about the lengths he’d go to protect her, to give her the life he’d promised. There were flashes of blood coating his hands, of a sword clenched in his fist, of an unquenchable rage burning ins
ide him and he jerked himself back from the edge.
No. There was no room in this moment for the dark one. There wasn’t any more room for that person – he never wanted to be that person again. He cleared his throat and made himself smile as he pressed a kiss against her hair.
“You can choose everything for it. We might both live there, but it will be yours. Floor to ceiling. I just ask that you let me bring my TV?” When her laughter rang out it seemed to vibrate against his chest and the sound pushed the darkness back.
“Deal.” Fae looked up at him, slid her hands around to the back of his neck, her fingers moving into his hair as she pulled him down to kiss her. Her lips were surprisingly warm in the chill of the air and his body reacted instantly as she pressed herself against him. He poured his anxious energy into the kiss and she responded with a hunger that pushed him to keep up. When his hands moved to her waist again he tugged her towards him, and she made a sound of surprise that was so small and feminine he felt himself growl in response.
By the gods, he wanted her.
Fae wasn’t shy though, and she untucked his shirt to slide her hands underneath the fabric and across his stomach. He gave in to the urge to hold her, picking her up so she wrapped her legs around him. The way her gasp for breath sounded in his ear, he knew he had to start counting backwards from, oh, ten thousand, or all of his well-meaning restraint was going out the window.
“Your choice, Glowworm. Stay here or go back to the apartment?” He spoke the words quickly, and she kissed him again.
“Apartment. Morning will come too quickly here.” She smiled at him and moved her hands underneath his shirt, around to his back where her nails trailed down over his skin.
“Hold on then.” He growled out the words as he tried to hold his concentration on his apartment, the mist disappeared and for a second he didn’t quite know where they had ended up until he tried to take a step to balance himself and bumped into the bed. He’d appeared in the bedroom.
Fae Page 23