‘Yes, they’re amazing.’ Nadia walked further into the display.
‘This one has an incredible scent.’ Matthew touched a bush smothered in milky blooms. ‘Madame Alfred Carrière.’
‘Nadia.’
Nadia turned at the sharp interruption. Ethan stood at the beginning of the grassy path. She could feel the waves of hostility from here. She snatched a quick glance at the man by her side. But Matthew Rush wasn’t giving anything away.
‘Ethan,’ he said calmly.
‘Dad.’ Ethan clipped the iciest answer back.
Nadia couldn’t have broken the huge, gaping silence even if she tried. Matthew Rush was Ethan’s dad?
Finally Ethan turned to her and spoke, his voice betraying a roughness that his father’s polished-for-radio tones never would. ‘I’ll show you the boathouse. Jess has just had it redecorated.’
‘Okay—great.’ She nodded and walked, sending Matthew a smile for farewell, completely confused as to why Ethan had suddenly turned into the ice man.
‘I didn’t know Matthew Rush is your father,’ she said, just for something to say.
He didn’t answer—just kept walking until they were both out of earshot and view of the other guests, until they were in front of the cute restored wooden boathouse. Only then did he turn and face her.
Nadia swallowed when she saw his expression—tight, pale, too controlled. He was angry. Angrier than the day he’d stormed in to see her at work and threatened to sue her. So angry she felt adrenalin surge into every cell, preparing her to fight. Except she didn’t know about what.
‘He’s pretty famous,’ she added, still confused. ‘I’ve heard so many of his reports.’ He’d written a book too, if she remembered right. And now the interviewer himself got interviewed.
‘Yeah, you and he would hit it off. You have a lot in common. The need to make yourself important. To be heard by a lot of people. To be recognised.’ Ethan almost snarled.
Okay, she knew she was missing something major, but he didn’t need to go off at her. ‘There’s a flaw in your analysis, Ethan.’ She wasn’t going to let him get away with insults just because he’d been hit by a freak bad mood. ‘Your father seeks fame under his own name. I’m anonymous. WomanBWarned isn’t about me—it’s about making a difference. I’m not taking advantage of my relationships to make a name for myself. In fact you’re the one who put our dates out there for everyone to read.’
He glared at her. She watched closely for the steam to start shooting from his ears.
‘Maybe you’re like your father,’ she said blandly. ‘Wanting to be popular.’
Colour flooded into his cheeks. ‘I’m nothing like him.’
‘Really?’ His vehemence intrigued her. ‘Why? What’s he like?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he snapped. ‘Hell, how do you think it makes me feel to see him hitting on the girl I brought here?’
‘What?’ Nadia gaped. Then giggled. A lot. ‘Ethan, he wasn’t hitting on me. We were talking about the roses.’
But Ethan wasn’t seeing the funny side. Ethan was glowering all the more. ‘I’ve known the guy a whole lot longer than you. I’ve seen that look before.’
She shook her head—the idea was outlandish. ‘You’ve had too much champagne in the sun. You’re seeing things.’ But her humour died when he still didn’t lighten up. He really thought his own father had been flirting with her? That she’d go along with that? ‘You know, it’s completely insulting of you to think that I’d—’
‘I know you wouldn’t,’ he snapped. ‘But he would.’
Nadia thought about it. She hadn’t seen Matthew up at the front near Ethan’s mum during the christening. She hadn’t seen Ethan talk to him. There’d been some veiled comment from Polly when they’d arrived—about who’d been going to bring their mum, about whether “he” was here. And “him” being here alone had been major enough for Polly to point it out. She didn’t need a psychology degree to figure his parents had split—and that it wasn’t amicable. And that there’d probably been adultery issues. Yeah, now she thought about it, some would think Matthew was suave. She’d just thought he was old.
She nibbled the inside of her lip and tried not to stare at how uncomfortable Ethan looked. Fiercely defensive, but vulnerable, he turned away from her. She melted, and the desire to reassure him rose—she wished she understood what scar it was that had just been ripped open. ‘Ethan, your father was nothing but charming to me.’
‘Yeah, he’s always charming to women.’
Nadia half smiled and answered softly, ‘So are you.’
Sharply he faced her, but said nothing. Slowly the blaze in his eyes died out, leaving a hint of something like hurt. And he just looked at her. And the longer he looked, the more that hint of hurt seemed to grow. She didn’t understand why.
His lips parted, she heard the indrawn breath, and she waited, her own breath bated.
Piercing shrieks made them jump three feet apart.
‘Ethan, can you help me?’ Jessica hurried towards them, struggling to carry a very red-faced, wriggling toddler. ‘Bella’s having a meltdown, I need to feed the baby and Tom needs to entertain the guests—and Polly’s working hard to keep Mother away from Father.’
‘Sure—give her to me.’ All calm, Ethan reached out for the wailing child.
‘I’m so sorry to interrupt.’ Jess looked apologetically at Nadia. ‘What must you think of us?’
Nadia didn’t know what to think.
‘She’s just feeling out of sorts.’ Jess looked panicky as Bella geared up for another bellow.
‘She’s not the only one,’ Ethan muttered, getting his niece out of his sister’s earshot. ‘How good are you at entertaining little kids?’ He looked desperately at Nadia.
‘Hopeless,’ she whispered, but she followed. They bypassed the guests and circled wide back to the house. By the time they got inside the girl’s wails had lessened as her Uncle Ethan spoke quietly to her.
Nadia opened the door that Ethan pointed to, stepped in after him, and then closed it again. A music room. And Ethan was at the baby grand piano.
‘You have to stop crying because you have to help me play,’ he told the child. ‘You know I can’t play without your help.’
Bella sat on his knee, he put his hands on the keys, and she put her hands on top of his. It was obviously a game that had been played many times before. She was smiling now. So was Ethan. He started, got four bars into a really stodgy sort of grade three piece. Nadia bit her lips to stop laughing—it was sweet, really—and suddenly realised she was falling deeper into complete ‘like’ with a guy she’d been so sure was a shark.
But then Bella interrupted. ‘No, no. Not that one. The other one.’
‘You’re sure about that?’
Nadia recognised the teasing tone in Ethan’s words. She saw Bella did too. So this was part of a shared joke—a routine that had to be adhered to.
He started to play again, and Nadia was stunned into immobility. Despite the burden of a little person on his knee he played magnificently. Notes thundered as his fingers crashed over the keys. Bella glowed with excitement as her hands rode fast on his. A massive, loud passionate piece from Rachmaninov, huge and echoing and—hell, she’d had no idea Ethan could play so well.
‘Play it again?’ Bella asked, even though the last note hadn’t stopped vibrating round the room.
Ethan groaned and turned to spot Nadia. ‘Come and sit beside us. We can’t play again unless you do.’
Reading the look on the girl’s face, Nadia moved quickly.
Ethan laughed as she did and shuffled along the seat to make room. ‘Do you play?’
‘Not that good stuff. I was stuck with Mozart. My hands are too small to cope with any of the great romantics.’
‘Not so bad to be stuck with Mozart.’ He cuddled the little girl closer. ‘Play some now.’
His mood had been restored even more than the child’s. He was back to smiling and char
ming and gorgeous, and Nadia was floored. ‘I’m not as good as you, and I haven’t played in a really long time.’
‘I disagree with the former but am well aware of the latter.’
She looked balefully at him. ‘Do you think along those lines all the time?’
‘Around you? Absolutely.’
‘Play, play, play,’ Bella interrupted petulantly, completely missing the undertones.
‘Yeah, Nadia,’ Ethan said slyly. ‘Play.’
She sighed, hiding her smile, and put her hands in position. It really had been a while. But years and years of practice couldn’t be completely forgotten. After a few bars she began to enjoy it, giggling when she stumbled over the odd passage, but soon getting the feel for it again, losing track of time as she worked through her favourite piece. A quiet one—not the kind of rollercoaster ride of emotion up and down the stave that Ethan had crashed through.
‘Keep playing,’ he whispered in her ear.
She glanced sideways and saw Bella was fast asleep in his arms. Amusement warmed her. Oh, to be a kid again and fall asleep at the flick of a switch. He carefully edged off the stool. Nadia did as he’d asked and kept playing the soft sonata, turning her head a couple of times to see Ethan carefully putting his niece on the sofa near the big fireplace. He glanced at her and mouthed ‘keep playing’ again.
She nodded, glad to turn back so she wouldn’t have to go like goo inside, seeing him be so tender. She started the piece for a third time, even more gently, waiting for the word that it was okay to stop.
There wasn’t a word. There was touch. Hands—large hands—cupped her shoulders and then slid down the length of her arms to her hands. She bent her head and stopped playing.
‘I think you play beautifully,’ he whispered softly, his cheek brushing against hers.
She only had to turn a fraction to kiss him.
‘We’d better get back out there,’ he said, as if it was the last thing he wanted to do.
‘Of course.’ It was the last thing she wanted to do too.
They tiptoed out of the room, closing the door on the calm inside. She paused, not wanting to go back to the lawn. He stood still too, looking at her.
‘Nadia …’
She knew he wanted to kiss her. And she wanted to kiss him. No games this time—just because it would feel so good. So right. But something was stopping him, and Nadia didn’t know what.
‘Where is she?’ Jess appeared in the hall.
Ethan turned away and answered. The relief on Jess’s face revealed the stress she’d been feeling. Ethan put his arm along his sister’s shoulder and teased, ‘Soothing irritable girls is my speciality.’
Nadia didn’t know if that was a coded message to her or not. But the fact was she didn’t want to be soothed. She wanted to be stirred.
Ethan chatted to his sister for a few minutes more, but the second Jess wandered away to mingle, Ethan’s teasing façade dropped and he looked plain tired. No wonder. She’d just seen how hard he worked to be the charming guy who held it together for the women in his family even when he was at the very end of his own patience. But he’d masked it, protectively cared for Bella—and Jess—a gently wicked joker who’d made them feel better. But right now he looked like the one who needed help to feel better. She wished he’d talk to her. But why would he open up to his opponent in this stupid fight of theirs? She knew he was mortified by his mistake about his father, and she didn’t want to embarrass him more, but there was something there and she wanted to know.
‘I’d never have thought you’d play the piano like that,’ she said to lighten the atmosphere. ‘You look too rugby.’
He managed a grin. ‘The girls had to learn. I got sent along too. They never liked it enough to practise.’
‘But you did?’
He nodded briefly. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
People were departing, so it wasn’t as if they were the first to leave, but Nadia was glad they weren’t going to be the last.
‘You outdid yourself, Jess. Again.’ Ethan gave his sister another hug.
‘Thank you very much,’ Nadia said to Jess. ‘It was the most beautiful afternoon tea I’ve ever seen. Everything was so perfect.’ She wasn’t lying. The décor, the food, the style of it all had been amazing.
Jess smiled at her. So did Polly.
‘It would be really nice to see you again some time, Nadia,’ Polly called after them.
With an uncomfortable ache in her heart Nadia kept walking to his car and pretended she hadn’t heard. She couldn’t face another forty minutes of silence on the drive back so she went for light, safe conversation.
‘So tell me about your work. All those billable hours, huh? Are you prosecution or defence?’
Ethan gripped the steering wheel even tighter. Oh, hell, he really hadn’t told her anything—and he grimaced about telling her now. He didn’t do the save-the-innocent barrister act, and if she really was all about ‘making a difference’ then she was going to be disappointed. Still, he was used to that—right? His dad had never got over his decision to go corporate rather than chasing after the Queen’s Counsel dream, despite the fact Ethan earned more now than he’d ever have done in chambers. But for his father it was all about public prestige. For Nadia it was that higher purpose thing—which meant she was going to be even more sceptical than his dad.
‘I’m not a barrister,’ he said heavily. ‘I don’t go to court and present arguments to a judge.’
‘Oh? What do you do, then?’
‘Corporate.’ His discomfort was stupid, because his job was unbelievably competitive. ‘I’m an aviation specialist.’
She frowned. ‘Aviation?’
Yeah, there wasn’t that much adulation in that. ‘As in big deals between big airlines and aircraft manufacturers. Leasing and financing and stuff.’
‘And that’s law?’
‘They need legal advice to do the deals—so, yes.’
‘Oh.’
‘It’s very interesting.’ Hell, did he sound desperate for approval or what? But he loved it. Wouldn’t work crazy hours if he didn’t.
‘I’m sure.’
‘It’s more interesting than HR.’ Totally defensive now.
‘Well, that wouldn’t be hard.’ She laughed suddenly. ‘So, does that mean you get to go for rides in flash private planes?’
‘The question everyone asks.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I expected more from you. Sometimes—not often.’
‘But you like planes?’
‘Always have. I like flying.’
‘Can you?’
‘I have my pilot’s licence.’ And he sky-dived. He liked the rush of that.
‘Oh, that’s cool. So you really love it?’
‘Yeah, I do.’ Finally the grin broke out of him. ‘Going to work is fun. But it’s not what people think of when you tell them you’re a lawyer.’
‘Who cares?’ she said. ‘You work in a field you love. You’re lucky. Your parents must be proud.’
Ethan sent her a sideways look, but she was smiling ahead at the road, all innocence. Yeah, right. She was fishing, but he wasn’t biting. Because, no, his father wasn’t proud. ‘You mean you don’t love HR? But you get to make people miserable, right?’ He teased his way out of answering.
‘Very funny.’
‘So why did you get into it if it’s not floating your boat?’
‘I wanted a job in a big firm. All big firms need HR people.’
‘Why big?’
‘The usual reasons—money, security.’
‘Yeah, but bigger isn’t always better.’
‘You’re wrong.’ She shook her head. ‘It was nice meeting your family.’
Nice—great. That awful word again. And she couldn’t possibly think it had been nice. She was back to fishing. Apprehension slithered down his spine. Inviting her into his life this way had been crazy. How was she going to report back to her web-witches? He figured he’d be in for a caning. But had she seen hi
s family’s vulnerability? Did she even care? What about Bella? Those moments by the piano that had filled him with pleasure before now made him wince. Did Nadia think he was superficial enough to have orchestrated that? She was so untrusting she probably did. He wanted to skip this as the third date. They should do something else. But that would mean seeing her again—and that seemed like a really dumb idea. This wasn’t the game it had been, and it sure as hell wasn’t uncomplicated.
As he pulled up outside her flat he knew he had to address it. ‘Please don’t write about today in your blog.’ Annoyed at how husky he sounded, he spoke faster, more harshly. ‘I don’t want all that out there. Not Dad. And I didn’t set that up with Bella to prove anything to you. Can’t—?’
‘Do you think I don’t know that?’ she interrupted, her voice shrill. ‘Do you really think I’d mention any of that?’
He was silent.
In the confines of his car her anger reverberated. Her outrage. Her hurt.
‘What kind of a person do you think I am?’ she asked, totally wounded. ‘You haven’t gotten to know me at all, have you? You haven’t listened to anything I’ve told you.’ She leapt out of the car and ran up her path.
Ethan stared after her—hating himself even more than he had that moment almost two hours ago. He’d felt sick when he’d seen his father talking to Nadia. He’d seen the look. It was how he looked at her—as if she was some delicate morsel to be devoured. Nadia had been wrong. Or maybe she’d been right and it was just that Ethan was so paranoid about his father he couldn’t see straight.
Either way it didn’t matter, because the revelation was still clear and still true. He’d always said he was nothing like his father, but Nadia had said differently. And he was the same—every bit the same selfish, insensitive jerk. He’d just proved it.
He swore and leaped out of the car.
‘Nadia!’ He grabbed the front door handle so she couldn’t open it and get away from him. But she didn’t turn around. A slender, silver fairy-woman stood in front of him—one he wanted to pull back against him and keep her there. He ached for the hot, sweet relief to be found with her.
He bent his head, lightly brushing his lips in her hair, hoping she couldn’t feel it as he breathed in her scent. ‘I’m sorry.’
Dating and Other Dangers Page 11